102: DAMAGED DOGS, DAMAGED MEN – How to Heal Both (with Andy Giddings)

102: DAMAGED DOGS, DAMAGED MEN – How to Heal Both (with Andy Giddings)

102: DAMAGED DOGS, DAMAGED MEN – How to Heal Both (with Andy Giddings)

Brad Singletary continues the discussion with his nephew, Andy Giddings, who was recently released from prison on five felony convictions. He had never trained a dog before getting locked up but took advantage of his opportunity to learn and grow by being a developmental leader of a 63-man dog training program. Because he was a leader, his first dog was “Primo”, a deaf bully who would chase shadows.

Andy ended up developing a very organized group of inmates who worked with dozens of dogs to rehabilitate them. What he found wasn’t just a love of dogs. He discovered himself. He discovered his own wounds. He learned about leadership and gained empathy and compassion in ways he never could before. His program was very successful and many of the men he supervised are now in college and continuing what they started in prison.

Andy is also the newest member of the Alpha Quorum’s leadership team where he volunteers his time and talents as the Producer of the Alpha Quorum Show. Listen in; I promise you will gain more than expected in this highly valuable and deeply insightful discussion about how both men and dogs can heal. The keys that Andy highlights that unlock this healing are love and respect, for others and—most importantly—for self.

 

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101: CHOOSING PRISON – Sometimes You Surrender (with Andy Giddings)

101: CHOOSING PRISON – Sometimes You Surrender (with Andy Giddings)

101: CHOOSING PRISON – Sometimes You Surrender (with Andy Giddings)

This dude right here has reached manhood. Boys become men after they’ve spent three or four decades in the boyhood desert. Paradoxically, both feeding and trying to slay the bad wolf inside him at the same time, he was recently released from prison, spending the better part of a decade locked up after a lifetime of trauma. He chose meth and heroin over everything else.

Finally, he chose prison. Finally, he chose maturity. Recently, I was going to buy him some work boots or whatever he could use, and he declined. I tried to hand him $100 bill and he declined it. He smiled and said, I can’t take anything from anyone. It isn’t good for me. He has maybe 20 years of learning in his last five.

He developed a pit bull rescue and rehabilitation program and managed 63 men, helping them all obtain their GEDs. Join me for the story of a man who chose prison in order to be free.

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100: THE SHOW MUST GO ON with Brad Singletary

100: THE SHOW MUST GO ON with Brad Singletary

Founder and host Brad Singletary describes how this whole thing originated and what our purpose is. He describes the evolution of the podcast and recounts some of the key interviews that we have done with men like Three-time Olympian Bill Schuffenhauer, Retired Coast Guard Admiral Steve Mehling, Licensed Psychologist and Rabbi Dr. David Brownstein, Metro Police Chaplain Dean Sanner and many other guests with PURE alpha wisdom!! Our guests have included first responders, one who was shot in the head, reality TV celebrities and just some regular ole everyday dudes!

 

Brad explains the goals of the Alpha Quorum and defines the Red9. He teaches about the source of the slogan “ALPHA UP!”, and how that was spontaneously coined by legendary entrepreneur, moto master and long-time recovery coach Taco Mike Spurgin. Join us in this celebration of 100 episodes and six YEARS of helping men like you, live life with no excuses.

 

 

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Intro:

If you’re a man who controls his own destiny, a man who is always in the pursuit of being better, you are in the right place. You are responsible. You are strong. You are a leader. You are a force for good, gentlemen. You are the alpha. And this is the Alpha Quorum.

Brad Singletary:

Gentlemen, welcome back to The Alpha Quorum Show. My name is Brad Singletary. This is our 100th episode. I’m so excited. This has been a long time coming. I’ve been working to get some other folks aligned here, and we haven’t been able to make our schedules work. And rather than continue to delay, the show must go on. So I’m hoping to get some other guys who’ve been on the show before to do a little video call with me that I can splice in here later.

I’m just going to begin by talking about how we got started a little bit behind the scenes, the journey that we’ve been on so far, what this is all about, why we’re doing this and I’m glad that you’re here.

So I met Derik Johnson in 2017, I think some time in the summer and very quickly we began talking about the fact that we had some similar experiences in life having been divorced, just looking around at the environment that we were raised in, the environment that the world has become now.

We started talking about the needs of men. So I work in mental health. I have a private practice here in the Las Vegas area where I do counseling and coaching with men and couples. And I have had my own experiences with failure and losses and different things that have been difficult for me, addictions and so forth. And as I was talking to Derrick, I realized that most men are alone.

I had felt that in my own life through a lot of the difficulties that I went through, including a divorce and just different things that have been tough on me. And I realized that when I was the most idiotic in my choices, that’s when I had the least amount of connection to men.

In 2017, Derik and I started talking and he told me about the book called No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover, and he confessed himself as a recovering nice guy and piqued my interest in that book.

I read it and I realized that so many men that I work with, the men in my own life and who I had become was this nice guy syndrome where you’re trying to get get your needs met by meeting other people’s needs. And he talks about covert contracts. And anyway, that sort of opened up the idea for me that and I should have known this already, but this is not what they teach in the universities, that men and women are different.

We have some instinctual needs that are sometimes opposite and men are isolated. I read some research out of the UK that most men over 50% of men there could not identify a best friend or even a good friend. And while I’ve always been a friendly type, I never had the sort of tribal feeling that I think men need.

We talked about the alpha quarter. We kicked around names, we created a logo, put a website up, and then on August 1st, 2017, we recorded our first episode. Derek came into my office. He had it set up on his iPhone and he set the iPhone down on my desk. And we started talking and I shared some experiences of my own life and some of the men that I work with.

It took some time to try to figure out what our show was even about. We had all kinds of plans, but we started this just as a podcast and as many voices and many shows as there are out there. We realized that, you know, this is we’re probably not going to be the the largest, biggest movement out there, but we wanted to throw our hat in the ring and have our voices be heard.

We started doing weekly podcasts for the most part, weekly, it seemed, in the beginning. And he and I met and we did five or six shows and then we brought on Taco Mike. Many of you know him, Taco Mike’s Virgin, Jeremy Leavitt and who else? Tyler Hunt, who we later lovingly renamed Funt. Anyway, so we just kind of kicked around ideas about what our show was going to be.

We talked about relationships. We talked about I’ll share some of the most popular shows that we’ve done, but we were talking about some of the difficulties that men were having. We wanted to be open and share our own failures and the losses and things that we’d experienced and we weren’t really sure what direction we were going to take.

You’ll notice if you started at the beginning, you’ll notice some really, some evolution in the way that we produced our shows. So from that first one that was recorded on like a speaker phone on an iPhone two, now we’ve had lots of upgrades. We’ve learned a ton, and I want to share some of that with you today.

One of the difficulties early on was the technical side of things, and so we knew we needed microphones and a way to record it. And I bought a mixer like a mixing board. I don’t even know what they’re called from a pawnshop. And I got some $12 microphones from Amazon. Or maybe it was Fry’s Electronics here in Vegas, a store that used to be open.

We set up shop in a part of a building that I worked in that we weren’t supposed to be in. I learned later that you had to rent this room, this kind of conference room that we met in over in the Summerland area of Las Vegas. And we recorded in different places, actually, we recorded at Taco Mike’s home, and then later we moved into my office here in Henderson.

But the sound quality was difficult. I mean, I was kind of in charge of a lot of, a lot of that, just having the willingness to do it. I probably made the mistake of taking on too much of it and not sharing some of that responsibility. And that’s why in six years we’ve we’ve only done 100 episodes.

That’s not the best consistency. That’s something that we’re trying to improve behind the scenes. You know, after recording, it takes about 10 hours of work. That’s what it’s taken me. And I’ve pretty much done all the post-production activity on the show, including everything from, you know, the images and any video or audio editing posting on social media, adding it to our website and doing all those different kinds of things.

On top of having six kids, I have six boys and I’m working probably 55 hours a week every week for a very long time. It was difficult to do that and others just didn’t maybe have the expertise or interest or or time to do that. So I was willing to do it and we just took off and started recording stuff.

Some of the funny, difficult things were like trying to decide on the title of a show and we wanted it to be catchy and provocative and whatever, but also explain what it was about. And so you’ll notice some evolution in how we name the shows as well.

I want to talk about some statistics. In 100 shows we’ve had 26,348 as of today downloads. And I get down about that sometimes and I was just talking to my nephew recently who’s going to be the future producer and maybe director of marketing of the Alpha Quorum. And he told me, Hey, listen, imagine that you’ve done 100 TEDTalks, and at each one you had 263 people there.

That changed my mind a little bit. A lot of what I do with people in my counseling and coaching, if we talk about a topic in the session, let’s say we’re talking about anger, so I can then refer them back to an episode where we talk about that and we and I do some of the teaching and talking.

Mike has done just phenomenal stuff with us here. The wisdom that that guy has dropped in this show has just been highly valuable as well as others. And I’m going to try to get some of those guys on here for a little cameo here in this in this episode to celebrate the 100th show. So 26,348 downloads. So that’s roughly, you know, 260 downloads per episode.

as I look at a few of the top ten episodes, let me just share what those are. So the first one, our most downloaded episode by about three times the average is Episode 54 – Shit Sandwich and that’s subtitled Surviving Separation to Save Your Relationship.

Jimmy Durbin, who’s a therapist here in Las Vegas, also a man in long term recovery, and Mike SPURGEON and I talk about our experiences of being separated. I was separated for a year. Jimmy was separated for 18 months, and I think that Taco Mike was separated for two and a half years, and we talked about that as an option before divorcing, maybe separate.

There’s a high probability that those who separate, it’s like an 87% chance that they end up divorced. We were part of the lucky 13%, but we talked about our experiences and the changes that we each had to make in order to mend our marriages. And today, as far as I know, all of those are doing well.

The second one was Boy Psychology Episode 67, and we did a six episode series on the book King, Warrior, Magician, Lover. And if anybody ever asked me what they what I think an Alpha is, if we’re going to if we’re going to use that as a way to categorize men, I think it’s those who operate with those four archetypes online.

KING Warrior, magician, lover. It’s a great series, but that was our second most downloaded. And then the third is episode one. So I know a lot of people will hear about the show and then they probably are going back to start at the beginning. I’ve talked to many people who’ve done that. Once they find out what we’re doing, they enjoy it.

They start at the beginning and work all the way through. I need to offer a t shirt or something to anybody who’s listened to. If you listen to every episode, text me or message me and I’m going to send you a shirt. I’m going to send you some Alpha Quorum swag here. The next show is Episode 12 – Sexual Self-Sabotage How Men Are Perpetuating Their Own Lack of Sex.

We talked about the reasons that we unconsciously, accidentally keep ourselves stuck in sometimes a sexless situation. The next most downloaded was number 96. That was called Dick Pick Getting Real. And growing up with Colt Johnson, Colt was a reality TV star on the series called 90 Day Fiance and I did a show with Colt and Vanessa where we did a therapy session.

In a way, through some of that, I got to know his story and realized that a lot of what he was struggling with was his sense of masculinity due to his relationship with his father, who died when he was very young. Um, maybe not the best example there. And he had gone through some reality TV worthy drama that he kind of created for himself based on this lack of self-worth and self-respect and self love.

He created some messes for himself. Now happily married and working on things. Our fifth most popular episode is Don, and that’s again, the continuation about separation. So we took we in the episode before we talked about our story of separation. The following episode, we talked about some rules and like how you can go about a structured separation and how you might navigate that in an attempt to heal the relationship.

The next one was Episode 11 – Grown Ass Man How to Be One in a Relationship. So you notice a pattern here is a lot of these most downloaded episodes have to do with relationships, and I think that’s where men struggle the most. The next one is Episode 14 – Why Men Hate Church and What They Want. Instead, We all belong to a faith community and we realize that you know how disengaged the men really are.

Sit around and talk about this abstract kind of stuff and and real talk. I think that was the conclusion that we came to that real talk, you know, adventure, being outdoors and really being truly vulnerable and open and expressing ourselves to a tribe of men. That’s what men really want. And some churches try to do that with men’s groups and so forth, but often failing because it’s not real enough.

It’s not meaty enough. It’s maybe too much about what we should be doing. And there’s some shame associated with some of that, but also the inherent needs of men that could be met more effectively. And we talk about how they might do that. The next one is primal polarity, masculine devotion, and feminine radiance. That’s episode 97. It’s one of my favorite topics.

And I’ve got to say, as I move toward the future, as we take this thing forward, I know that I’m going to be talking about that a lot more. I highly recommend that you guys listen to that show and look at some of the books that I mentioned there and all the work that I’ve done over 20 years in behavioral health, working with relationships, you know, men and women on the things that have failed and and why and what’s happened.

I never was able to really, in spite of going to the best conference, is reading the best books, looking at the research and literature on, you know, relational healing and all these different things. There was something that was missing. So it’s taken me six years. It’s taken me all this time. Well, five I picked this stuff up last year about polarity in.

The idea is that there are instinctual needs for men and instinctual needs for women, and basically that is that men are designed to lead and to penetrate and to direct. And that’s the essence of masculine energy, to be the giver. And the essence of feminine energy is to be the receiver and to be the submissive one. So we talked earlier about No more Mr. Nice Guy.

A lot of these things kind of blend in. When we look at this particular brand of polarity that I’ve become a fan of and I’m going to be talking about a lot more is that men don’t like to be penetrated, men do not. We get frustrated when we’re told what to do, when we’re corrected, when we’re embarrassed in public.

We don’t want to be made a fool of. We don’t want to be pushed around. But so many of us have become a doormat because of nice guy syndrome. We think that we have to like, win love somehow. And so we maybe do all these things and we’re not speaking up.

We don’t have high assertiveness. And so our needs are chronically unfulfilled. And there’s some commonalities about how this develops in men because of parental relationships, you know, problems with that, you know, addictive. The addictive side of men, the indulgent side of men kind of comes in is this attempt at coping with loneliness. But anyway, the Polarity episode is very good.

It basically teaches, it begins it introduces the idea that there are certain things that women are doing that are frustrating. Her man all the time. And it’s not because of him, it’s because he’s a man. And men don’t like to be penetrated for the most part. And so directive corrective language, you know, the bossy woman for masculine men, that’s a turn off.

When that turns a man on, he’s in an emasculated state and he needs to be taken care of. He’s probably got mother wounds and he’s probably has low self-worth. And so and we also talk about why women become masculine eyes is the term I think we use. There are why they get so far away from their feminine vulnerability.

That’s another thing that’s always kind of bothered me in some of the language out there is vulnerability and that men need to be vulnerable. I think I just hate the word. I don’t want to use that word, but I think that men need to be respected and men should be vulnerable, or I’ll use the word maybe transparent. They need to be expressive to other men.

I don’t think it helps very much for men to be vulnerable to their woman. I think it puts them in a in a weakened state, and it’s not something that’s even chosen by the partner. It’s just if we become this complaining, emotive, vulnerable, quote unquote, person to our woman, she doesn’t like that and she doesn’t know what to do with it.

She wants to because she’s probably just glad you’re talking to her and that you’re engaged in some way. And that’s when I hear women say, Oh yeah, I really love it. I think as we drill down into that, we find that they don’t. By the way, 75% of the listeners of this show are men and 25% are women.

So much of this, I have found, has been valuable for women to listen to and understanding the position of men and how they get where they are and what their needs may be. And then the 10th most popular episode is episode 33. That’s with Tyler Hunt. And I think the title here is Hold on a minute. I don’t have my glasses.

Episode 33 – Don’t Cut Your Junk Off How to Forgive Yourself and Others. So there’s a little bit of a snapshot into, you know, what this show has been. We’ve we’ve got listeners from all over the world. There’s probably looks like 93% in the United States, but other areas where men are listening are Canada, Australia, Germany, New Zealand, the United Kingdom, Ireland and Afghanistan.

The goal is to help men level up. The goal is to help men alpha up. That was one of the profound moments early on, maybe episode ten, 12, 15, somewhere around there talking Mike used the term It’s time to alpha up and later in another show we talked about what that means and it’s kind of become a slogan and and you know, no excuses alpha up. So the goal of the whole thing, the message is really included in these few topics. So, number one, men need men. We need a tribal group of close, connected men who can give us feedback, tell us who we are, punches in the mouth when we need to.

I wish I would have had that when I ran into financial trouble or when I had relationship problems. I wish I had that. And that’s something that’s one of the core tenants of this whole thing is the idea of quorum, which comes from the political process of the fact that a certain percentage of the members of a committee, let’s say, need to be present in order for the vote to be valid.

Maybe the numbers two thirds or a majority or whatever it is. And I believe that we are only alpha when we effectively use a quorum. So you’re not just running around out there in life just making independent decisions and have no input.

You’ve got a mentor, you have a group of people who are kind of your brain trust. That was a word that Jimmy Durbin used, a brain trust of advisors, people that can hear your situation, be supportive, but also give you constructive feedback. We don’t just want to be cheerleaders for each other. We want to help each other. So men need men. We need a tribe of men to help us level up. We’re trying to change three things, really our attitude, how we approach life, how we see ourselves and see things and choose to participate with the world.

So our attitude, our actions and our attributes, attitude plus action over time equals the attributes of mature masculinity. So that’s what we’re aiming for. And so I was sitting down, I think at Taco Bell, we’re writing this on a napkin, maybe trying to think about what is our core message or our core principles. And I thought of the Red nine and here are those characteristics.

Three Start with our three, start with the and three start with D. So your responsible you do only good. You have boundaries. You do things that help people, but you don’t become a toxic rescuer. You can be forgiving. You have boundaries. You know who to let in, who to leave out. You accept the things that you can’t change, change the things that you can.

You apologize when you’re wrong. So we’re responsible. We are resourceful. We figure things out. We use tools of every kind, anything that’s available to us. We leverage all the opportunities and all the things at our disposal to help us. And that could be the library, that could be Google, that could be other men, that could be a physical tool from the hardware store, that could be an electronic device, that could be a machine.

But we are resourceful and we figure things out. Reverence is the next principle, which really is about humility and gratitude. You know, we use some solitude. We use stillness as a way to reflect, and maybe that’s prayer, maybe that’s meditation, maybe that’s journaling.

We’re respecting the fact that our life is going to end someday. We ponder our mortality and we keep a big picture view of things. And we do that by appreciating the sublime experiences in life, you know, Magical Mountain View or an opportunity to be in the ocean or a family experience or whatever, like sacred moments. We really cherishing those and living fully in the present while those things happen. We also can forgive and we have we can share appreciation.

The next one is energy, and that’s about health in our body. How we fuel ourselves with, you know, sleep, water, food supplements and medication that we’re conscientious about those we are vigorously active and, you know, use that to maintain our vitality.

I’m looking at my note card here, by the way, guys, I’ve got some cool like downloadable if you want to get with me and get some of these materials or I’ll put them on the website, just these little things where you can kind of remember I have one of these in my bathroom right at eye level by my mirror, and so I can kind of see what it is I’m supposed to be doing. I always end up focusing on one of these for a week or so until I get myself corrected. But so the next one is, is engagement. And that’s where we’re tuned in. We’re not on the date with our wife and on our phone. We’re engaged. We’re doing what we’re supposed to be doing.

We’re supposed to be at work. We’re doing that when we’re at home. We’re being present and involved with a good attitude. We participate with good vibes. So engagement has to do with, you know, fun and leisure and recreation and celebrations. You know, you’re you’re not afraid to go to the holiday party or the, you know, the one year old’s birthday day.

Who’s your second cousin that you participate in those things as much as you can and that you genuinely connect with your people. You know how to laugh. You know how to love people. You have emotional intelligence, you’re engaged in healthy relationships, you’re also assertive. And so speak boldly but respectfully. The next principle is endurance. We train our minds.

We have goals, we make adjustments. We take a new approach when we need to. We’re willing to be patient and persevering to pursue the things that we want. We’re willing to accept support. There is every kind of support that you could imagine. It already exists. It just means you choosing to be connected with it. It may be a professional, it may be, you know, some community group.

I myself run five men’s groups in the Las Vegas area, and there’s just all kinds of things online you can join. Facebook groups are so many ways to receive support in the last part of endurance is interestingly, that you respect your own limitations and when you must, you do quit. Sometimes we have to leave the relationship. Sometimes you have to leave the job and forsake the project and put down the chisel and let things be and walk away.

Sometimes that may be an ironic part of endurance that at some point we may have to walk away from a person or a thing. The last three are discipline, which includes, you know, having control of your time, your money, your mood, your environment, that you have some order in your life, you have structure in that you have the ability to cut out the things that are not helpful to you.

Discernment, which has to do with really the cognitive part of all of this, that we’re self-aware, first of all, of our own good and bad problems. We recognize reality. We can see things as they really are, and in an objective way. We have realistic expectations. We’re a fair judge of ourselves and other people, and we understand cause and effect.

We lean on mentors. You’re going to hear that repeated over and over. The last one is a distinction. So you have great skills with people and things in order to have any kind of distinction, you got to stand out and you stand out by bringing value to and that’s when you have great skills.

You live true to your beliefs. There’s congruence between what you believe in, what you know and what you’re doing think about how shitty that feels when you know that you ought to be doing this and you know the answer, but you’re not doing it. Someone asked me maybe ten years ago what I thought the secret to happiness was, and I said, It’s knowing what to do and doing it, whatever, whatever that means.

So when we are living true to our beliefs, it makes us more powerful because we have congruence within our own heart. We are respected and trusted by respected and trusted people. That means we’re connected to those people. They know who we are and we can show up authentically and also, you know, find favor with people who have favor.

That’s important. We present ourselves with dignified and outward appearance. We’re intentional about how we show up in the world, in the way we speak and how we dress and so on. We’re effective leaders and we connect to a tribe of men. So that’s the red nine, that’s that, those few things. We need other men around us in a formal or kind of grouping of a little tribe that we can lean on.

I have this with several friends of mine pretty much every time I have an issue at home, I text him and say, Man, here’s what’s going on. Here’s what she did, here’s what I did, here’s what set it off. And they just immediately, I don’t know how they even have the time to do it. And we do this for each other as much as is needed.

They’re firing back. Some really cool feedback. Brad, you’re being selfish, man. You you’re looking at this from this perspective and you need to be instead looking at it from this perspective. It’s so very helpful. So that’s principle number one. You need men. We need to change our attitude, actions and attributes. And the way we do that is through the Red nine that we’re responsible, resourceful, reverent, energetic, engaged, enduring, disciplined.

We have discernment, and that leads us to distinction. So in doing this show, we wanted to in, in a way, connect men to other men. We haven’t had any female guests on the show yet. I told my wife that she could be the first one, but we haven’t we haven’t decided on a topic yet or exactly what we want to talk about.

What I think I want to share. I want to do a series with couples where we talk about what didn’t work, what happened when it wasn’t working, and then what we did to fix those things. And maybe she would be the first guest there

So speaking of guests, I wanted to go through some of the guests that we’ve had on the show.

So we talked about Derek and I. We’ve had we had Jeremy Levitt for some time. He’s also a male therapist in the Las Vegas area. He very well is very popular and he’s just a very insightful guy. I missed talking with you, Jeremy, If you’re listening to the show, man, we got to get back together. He works about two miles from me, lives on the other side of town, I believe, but he works literally, like 6 minutes from my office, and I haven’t seen him in years.

And COVID was no help to that kind of thing. But we had no excuses now, brother. We also had Mike Olson on the show, who’s a friend of mine. He’s a neighbor. I’ve known him since I was 12 years old. Mike lived in my area down in Florida as a missionary for our church. And so he kind of served the area that I lived in and we I just moved into his neighborhood and saw him at church one day.

And that’s how we got reconnected. But just a very strong man, you know, an athlete just comes from a great family, solid guy. He has five sons as well. And he is you know, he’s shared a lot of wisdom about things that he’s learned in business, things he’s learned in relationships. I think he talked about anger in one of our episodes.

Anger is not your friend or control is not your friend. He talked about, you know, so we’re all revealing some very personal things about our stories. And we had Tyler Hunt, the young millennial, I think he’s a millennial rugby coach here in Las Vegas area, friend of Derrick Johnson’s. He gave some great perspective. Had another college age young guy who talked about dating and some of the the challenges that young men, younger men face in dating.

We also did two shows on pornography and like, why that’s destructive. Some of the things that happen in your brain and how that’s affecting your relationship. What compels men to to get stuck in that loop? And so many good shows yelling at God like Lieutenant Dan Atheists for atheists and reverence in masculinity.

Let’s see, we had a very popular episode number 42 Leadership, humility, not hiding. That was with Dr. David Brownstein, who was a Jewish rabbi here in Las Vegas and also a licensed psychologist. Very fascinating story. Talked about some of his mentors and role models in his life. We did a few solo episodes, so I started with King Baby Syndrome.

And then Mike Olson did one, Taco Mike did very good episode about a turning point in his life. That’s episode 47 Road Closed. See alternate Route.

So after episode like 48, 49, Derrick Johnson, who was was the original host and co-founder with me. I don’t know if I haven’t talked about him enough. He had done some radio, I think, in college and just has golden voice strong teaching ability. And he got into some health trouble. He had heart attacks, some heart surgeries, all kinds of things were going on that kind of took him out of the swing of things. And hopefully we’re going to get him involved back here really soon.

Let’s see other guests that we had. So Jimmy Durbin, I’ve talked about him already. Just I promise you, when you listen to him speak, you’re going to learn some things and you’re going to learn it in a way that’s impactful in that you will remember.

You’ll find his stuff very helpful. He’s a very popular therapist in the Las Vegas area. He’s been a 12 stepper. He’s been working in recovery for many years, himself. I had my dad on the show, so one year for Father’s Day, I recorded the show with my dad and his the title of his was called Boss Y, Leading to Loud is fo Alpha, and he talked about some of his mistakes as a man and as a father and talked about his victories as well.

We had Nick, who is the inventor and creator of Uncommon Questions, so an entrepreneur who’s done lots of cool things. He lived in mainland China for a while and had talks about, you know, how to think like an entrepreneur. We had an Olympian, a silver medalist, a three time Olympian, and silver medalist for the United States in bobsled.

That’s below. Bill Shubin, our former coworker of mine back in the day. Uh, let’s see here. We had a panel discussion about the Alpha 360, which is a 60 day challenge, similar to like 75 hard, but it’s more well-rounded. And we had the panelists of the five guys who placed highest in that, I think four or five guys from here in Las Vegas all the way to Brisbane, Australia.

We had Matt Marx who talked about understanding mental illness and other very masculine therapists in the Las Vegas area, gun enthusiast, super redneck. Just kidding, Matt, Love your brother. But he talks about, you know, the the difficulty that men have in dealing with, you know, addressing their mental health and the importance of taking care of that stuff sooner rather than later.

And then we had a panel discussion of Jay, Jim and Clint. Jay is a police officer in the Las Vegas area. Jim is a electrical superintendent and Clint is another male therapist here in the Henderson area. And we talk about the King Warrior, magician, lover. It’s a six episode series. I think you could listen to the audiobook in half the time it would take you to listen to our discussion about it.

But I think it’s it’s probably my favorite piece of the of the entire podcast. There. And then we had a couple of shows with Taco Mike. We had the Alpha Quorum Man of the Year, Justin Mackie, on the show. We had we did two episodes with him. He talked about the craftsman and the cash. We talked about resourcefulness and how to be resourceful.

And then engagement number 76 Alive. And every moment we had Reverend Dean Sanner, who was a lead pastor of a church here in Las Vegas and also a licensed marriage and family therapist. And the chaplain for the Metro Police Department. Here we had Joshua Roy, who was a coach and trainer from Brisbane, Australia. He’s also a police sergeant.

And then we had Steve Edwards. We talked about nice guy syndrome. Steve and his buddy Kevin O’Neil, some amazing guests. Life is a marathon. We talk with Gavin Hillman, who is a has a doctorate in physical therapy, I believe works as a physical therapist. And then Tanner Smith, who is his buddy and training partner and friend and Tanner is an emergency room physician’s assistant.

Tanner had a great story. He was a man of the year a year or two ago, and he was running a marathon, running the Boston Marathon for a third time for trying to reach his record. And the lady dropped in front of him and cardiac arrest. He performed CPR. She lived and he finished the race in a very good time.

He didn’t get his record, but he talked about that experience. We’re talking about health in that episode and how to take care of your body, how to look at those things. Then we had Rear Admiral Stephen MAYLING, a retired Coast Guard admiral who talked about leadership and discipline. And the title of that is Squared Away Alpha Discipline. Very good stuff.

Some fascinating stories that he shared. It’s amazing the responsibility that he’s had and that he was willing to take some time with us. Another Episode on Discipline with Ryan Echols. He was a

he was in juvie, like in the secure, locked down like prison for teenagers. And within a few years after leaving that program, he came back as an employee and now serves as a youth counselor in the same program that he was a resident many years before.

Fascinating story. Then we had Dr. Rocky Wright Rockford, right. Who talked about Alpha discernment and just some of the most intelligent teaching. I promise that you’re ever going to hear this guy, Rocky, another friend and neighbor of mine. And we had cocoa. Vinnie from Cocoa Tap’s Cocoa, Love Cocoa. Vinnie is a local entrepreneur who sells coconut water. So he’s harvesting, he’s growing, harvesting coconuts all around the world and has some amazing things.

He’s very involved with a charity that supports women and young women who are dealing with domestic violence. We had Butch Williams, an attorney in the Las Vegas area, on an episode called Learn How to Love a Jason Baker, who was the 2022 father of the year. He’s a firefighter here in the Las Vegas area. And he talked about how he operates his family and how important it is for him to have his little tribe, his little local gang to to support him if he may be at work.

He’s got a multitude of men that he can call to to step in and handle something in his home. If there’s a need for that, that’s a great episode. How to Build a Fortress. Then we talked with Samuel Anthony, who was a police officer who was shot in the line of duty and discussed his recovery from that trauma, how it’s affected his body and his life and his relationships and how, you know, how he’s tried to move forward with a positive attitude.

Then we had Scott Edgar, who an attorney and a poet. He also was a podcaster. And I think his show is called The Poet Delayed. Um, he talked about just his experiences losing a parent at a young age and how he’s used language and also a men’s group to help him help them grow through some difficulty. Then we talked about Colt Johnson already.

Then we had Ramsey Venner, just a remarkable guest who has a booming business here in the Las Vegas area. And he’s a felon. He was a Division one college athlete. I think he played basketball and football at Fresno State, and then he got started getting in trouble and he went to prison for several years. Many I think it was maybe nine years.

And there he learned to play the piano. He learned other languages. He read. He did all this work on himself. He found his or rediscovered maybe spirituality. And he’s a father of a healthy family now, coaching youth football and his

he’s involved with his kids athletics and runs a very successful business here. And then we had the 2022 Man of the Year.

David Schofield. Uh, David is just a stud of a man you’ll see on our social media just some of the things that he does. He has two young daughters and he’s very involved. He lives all of those attributes, these men that receive these awards. We do father of the year every year, and then we do the Man of the Year, the end of the year.

So Father of the year in June and Man of the year at the end of the year. So upcoming shows are going to be we’re going to have Mitch Baxter, Andy Giddings. Mitch was the the most recent, the 2023 father of the year. He’s done an amazing job as a stepfather. He’s a firefighter down in Mississippi, I think is Mississippi.

Yeah, So we could have him on the show here soon. Also, my nephew, Andy Giddings, who is going to be much more involved with what we’re doing. He’s been out of prison for about two months. Uh, fascinating story about this guy. He’s 35 years old. Maybe. I think he just turned 36, but, um, he had a very short period of heavy and extreme drug use, which led him into multiple charges and multiple problems, talking like a year.

And it completely destroyed his life, went to prison, went in with all the wrong attitude, all the wrong actions, and he evolved. And so he found some true masculinity in prison. Um, the structure, the order, the demand for improvement. He set up a one of these pit bull and parolees programs where they had, I think, up to 60 guys that he was leading in this dog training program, which had to do with rehabilitate, hating these, you know, vicious bully breeds.

Most of them, I think they are. And the, you know, the requirements for guys to be involved with that and what it taught them about themselves as they learned about behavior and reinforcements and so forth, and bonding and attachment. Fascinating stuff. And you’re going to hear a lot more from Andy. You guys were just trying to do some good in the world.

Um, you know, this is a small audience here. 75% of of our listeners are men, 25% are women or said non-binary, which I always count that as a woman if it’s say non-binary. But anyway, um, call me what you want. Anyway, I,

I just want to help people. I just want to I hope that my voice is uniquely qualified for whoever may listen to me or the guests that we bring on.

Everybody knows Joe Rogan. There’s a lot of cool things on there. Everybody knows, you know, Ryan McLure, who was by the way, Ryan McClure in the Order of Man, was a huge influence when I got started here. In fact, I joined the Iron Council, which was a great experience, I think. I think Ryan is back on the West Coast.

He had moved to Maine, but I think he’s back over here and I’m going to try to get him on the show. So maybe if I try to get you on the show. Ryan Mclr, I’ll let you listen to this 100th episode just to hear what we’ve done and kind of summarize what we’re all about and what our message is.

But user were very instrumental in all of this and I appreciate that influence. So we’re just trying to do some good. We’re trying to bring men to other men through podcasts. There’s a lot of men who won’t go to therapy or won’t go to a support group or those kinds of things. Don’t want to talk about their feelings.

That’s all right. Pull up your Spotify, pull up your apple. What is it? Apple Podcasts and listen to our show. I promise you, we’re going to bring you high quality content. It’s hard to produce, it’s hard to create, It’s hard to line up. It’s hard to get. It’s hard to find people who can be articulate and who can be who have an interesting story, who are doing well with themselves.

Right now. No one’s perfect, but we want to bring guys on who are handling their business. And nobody could really ever say they’re not. I am certainly not perfect. I hope that part of what this is that we’re doing here is leaving a legacy for those who have participated in the show. So I just want to thank all those guys, men who have given ideas.

Taco. Mike bought this machine right here, which was like a $700 investment that he made in the Alpha core. Him out of his own pocket, um, to to help us have better sound quality.

and you all know that he’s done some pretty big, big things with media and with his own company.

Just a stellar guy. Taco Mike, the original Man of the Year.

appreciate what you’ve done to contribute to all this in the future. Here’s what you’re going to hear. You’re going to hear more direct and more bold messaging about what you’re afraid to do and how to break through the barriers of whatever things create a difficulty for you in being a man, being assertive, being a leader, being directive, being corrective, you know, being reliable, being a devoted, loving leader.

That’s what I want to influence me to be a devoted, loving leader, that you’re not just healthy and doing baseline stuff, that you’re creating something that you participate. And by the way, all this messaging out there about men don’t have to be strong. Men don’t have to be, you know, it’s okay if you’re not ultra masculine or whatever that is.

Some of that is harmful, I think, because our instincts don’t lie. And so the the messaging that often comes from I’m going to say it, I’m just going to call it out. A very feminist leaning academia. Um, that produces all the research and all the literature and everything on relationships and how things should be. They’re trying to turn women into men and men into women.

And so, so much of what you hear in the therapy world out there is kind of emasculating and is not honoring our nature. So I’m going to be more bold and I’m going to be more up front. It’s taken me six years to really come to that. Uh, but I think men have sacred duty. Um, for survival or for the containment of family.

Men have sacred responsibilities. And I don’t want to get overly preachy or moralistic about any of that stuff. I just want to teach good principles. I want to combine the things that I’ve learned to spend 25 years watching human beings and what they do and how they behave and what comes as a result of that. I’ve had 47, almost 48 years of my own failures and my own

school of hard knocks, which has taught me that I cannot be alone.

I can’t make a big decision. I can’t decide if I’m going to get divorced or file bankruptcy or start a business or close a business. I should not do that alone, ever. You know, if I feel like being reactive, if I know that I’m explosive, I need to take a drive and to my homies and say, Listen, man, I need a can you talk me off the ledge here?

I’m just upset. I know that I need that some of these topics that we present on are things that I want to learn more about. There are things that I want to listen to. There are things that I want my children to hear long after I’m gone. What it means to be a man. Because this world is unkind to men.

I think there are accidental and there are intentional attacks on masculinity. And I’m sick of it. And I don’t want to turn this into anything political. I to tell you what to do. I want to help. You know what you need to do? I want to help you meet your needs with integrity. I want to help you feel supported.

I want you to stay alive. I want you to have a life. I want you to bring life. And I want you to preserve life. We’re tribal beings. We need to be connected. Um, I’ve talked already about some of the other influences about why I want to help men unite together in these little brother hood kind of situations.

Ideally, you’re connected to men in your neighborhood, men in your close vicinity, that if you needed something, you could borrow a tool. You know, there was. There’s some practical need. Shit hits the fan. Whatever happens, you’re connected to men in your own neighborhood. Also that you have. Maybe the same, but maybe separate a group of men who can meet maybe on an every two week basis for about 2 hours.

Yes, 2 hours every two weeks where everybody gets maybe there’s six or seven of you. You take 15 or 20 minutes to talk about your wins and losses and where you are struggling, your own resistance, you know, the excuses that you’re making and get some feedback. Open yourself to the judgment, the wise judgment of men. That’s what we need more of.

And in order to have that, you got to be doing the work yourself. So the group idea is something that we’re going to develop. I’m writing a book right now to give you more details later. It’s taken me again about six years to gel everything together. I struggle a lot because I didn’t know what my message is. I didn’t know what my message was When I started writing the book.

It was just for adults. I was just going to write to men and women. I realized soon after that I wanted to speak to men. And I have, I think, just in the last year, rounded out my philosophy in kind of my the combination of things that have gathered from different places about here’s how to be healthy and here’s how to be miserable.

So we’ll share that with you more as we come up. Stay tuned with us. Stay connected. We have a Facebook group. There’s 1600 men from all around the world who are on this Facebook group. You can share your difficulties and your problems and the things that are hard for you. You can also answer other people’s question and give them some feedback.

You can write anonymously in there. We have a Discord server. What else we have, you know, Instagram and all those things, YouTube channel. So get connected with us if you live what many of our guys are in the Vegas area in the western United States. But wherever you live, if you want to get connected to a therapist, you want to find mentors, you want to have help creating a little quorum of your own, a little group of men that you that can advise each other and be friendly and supportive.

Let me know. I’m going to. That’s part of my book. That’s part of what I’m writing up, is how you can take that idea and create your own to join something that we may build in the future. Hey, we do this because we love men. We know that life is difficult. You’re out there trying to be responsible. You’re trying to handle your business.

You most likely are feeling alone. And that’s what I don’t want to have happen. So if ever you’re in trouble, you know, if ever you’re dealing with some kind of crisis, if you have no one to talk to, you talk to me. And I will get you pointed in the right direction. We love you for participating in this.

Thank you for your support. I think you’re going to like what you’re going to see in the coming months here with the Alpha Quorum. Until next time, fellows. No excuses. Alpha up.

If you’re a man that controls his own destiny, a man that is always in the pursuit of being better, you are in the right place. You are responsible. You are strong. You are a leader. You are a force for good, gentlemen. You are the alpha. And this is the Alpha Quorum.

 

Click your podcast platform below or listen to the embedded file on this page.

099: SEND IT – 2022 Alpha Quorum Man of the Year David Scofield

099: SEND IT – 2022 Alpha Quorum Man of the Year David Scofield

099: SEND IT – 2022 Alpha Quorum Man of the Year David Scofield

Meet Sco, a man recognized as one who epitomizes the alpha way: living life with no excuses. He was honored for his attitude and his actions and his many alpha attributes. He’s a married father of two girls. He works as a welder. He’s a musician, a motorcycle enthusiast, an adventurer and a mechanic. He served in Afghanistan with the United States Air Force and has been a huge advocate for mental health care, especially for veterans and first responders. One of his projects this year included opening the Nevada chapter of Heroes on the Water, a nonprofit that gets veterans and first responders out on the water for fishing and boating adventures. He organized a classic car parade and car show for seniors in an assisted living facility, and has now arranged for men’s groups for these senior men.

 

He describes his views on spirituality, that the deepest part of us is all the same.  He recounts experiences fishing with his dad, how he got into his career, his parenting philosophy, how he does husbandry and why he is so committed to helping other people.  This dude is inspiring and demonstrates with his life the slogan “No Excuses. Alpha Up.”

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00:02 – 00:00:20:19
Brad Singletary
This year, another man is recognized as one who epitomizes the alpha way, living with no excuses. He was nominated and then selected by a committee to be honored for his attitude and his actions and his many alpha attributes. He’s a married father of two girls. He works as a welder. He’s a musician. A motorcycle enthusiast an adventurer and mechanic.

00:00:20:26 – 00:00:45:19
Brad Singletary
He served in Afghanistan with the United States Air Force and has been a huge advocate for mental health care, especially for veterans and first responders. One of his projects this year included opening the Nevada chapter of Heroes on the Water, a nonprofit who gets veterans and first responders out on the water for fishing and boating adventures. He organized a classic car parade and car show for seniors in an assisted living facility.

00:00:45:24 – 00:01:05:16
Brad Singletary
He was also very instrumental in many improvements made in the hours of quorum, a worldwide men’s organization that now gives him this honor. Gentlemen, I present to you the 2022 Alpha Core, a Man of the Year, David Schofield.

00:01:10:10 – 00:01:33:12
Intro
If you’re a man that controls his own destiny, a man that is always in the pursuit of being better, you are in the right place. You are responsible. You are strong. You are a leader. You are a force for good, gentlemen. You are the alpha. And this is the alpha core.

00:01:36:26 – 00:02:10:23
Brad Singletary
Welcome back to the Alpha Quorum Show Brad Singletary here. It’s been a little while. It’s been a while since I’ve been here. And I couldn’t be more excited than I am tonight to be here with my friend who is the Alpha Quorum’s 2022, Man of the year. This man was nominated and selected by a committee to represent what it is that we teach in the Alpha Quorum, which is responsibility, resourcefulness, reverence, energy, engagement, endurance, discipline, discernment and distinction.

00:02:11:13 – 00:02:39:12
Brad Singletary
And this is a guy that I’ve known for a while, and as I put together some of the stuff that I’m going to include later in the show, I’ll just going to kind of drop it in. I had no idea what a bad ass this guy is until I heard from his wife, his parents, two sets of parents, parents and step parents and learned about some of the things that he’s done over the past year.

00:02:39:28 – 00:02:53:06
Brad Singletary
Some of those I knew about, but gosh, is going to choke me up to think about some of these things that he’s done. So, gentlemen, I just want to welcome David Schofield. Thanks, Brad, and welcome.

00:02:53:11 – 00:03:05:24
David Scofield
Thank you. I appreciate it. And it’s is it’s surreal to be on the same list of some of my own mentors that I don’t know. It’s an it’s unreal to me.

00:03:06:26 – 00:03:32:02
Brad Singletary
Yeah. There’s you know, we just want to I think something that’s missing in the world is the recognition of dudes that are doing great things. So that’s that’s part of why this whole thing exists. That’s why we do in June, we do a father of the year at the end of the year. I always know when when it’s when they’re talking about the Heisman Trophy so early December is when, you know, that’s when it’s time to to start putting this together for the man of the year.

00:03:32:18 – 00:03:56:18
Brad Singletary
And you’re exactly one of those kind of dudes. And I just have to say, while we were trying to set this appointment up tonight to record, Dave here just got back. He was out of town for a while with for the holidays. Visiting family, drove hours and hours with his very young children and wonderful. He mentioned on his Facebook he had to stop every 20 minutes.

00:03:57:02 – 00:04:14:08
Brad Singletary
But then he had a buddy coming over that he’s going to take care of is one of his pets before he you know, deploys overseas or something. And still he was here 5 minutes early. And, you know, I was kind of thinking I I’m watching the clock thinking, you know, I wouldn’t be too mad if he if he canceled tonight.

00:04:14:08 – 00:04:32:02
Brad Singletary
I could I could just go home and call it a night. But here he is, right on time, right on the money, just like everybody said that you are reliable and that you do anything to help. And so part of this man is to honor you even further, to hear more about you. We’ve we’ve learned about you from your parents on this video that we’ll kind of clip in here.

00:04:32:02 – 00:04:36:29
Brad Singletary
But we want to hear some things from you yourself. So, first of all, how old are you?

00:04:37:28 – 00:04:42:08
David Scofield
I’m 30. I turned 34 in February. Okay. Thank.

00:04:43:04 – 00:04:48:06
Brad Singletary
So 34. So pretty young guy. Married two daughters who are. How old are.

00:04:48:06 – 00:04:52:11
David Scofield
They? My daughters are almost two and just turned four.

00:04:54:11 – 00:05:14:22
Brad Singletary
This guy, I can’t remember what pictures we included in the video, but he is a very you’re a very involved dad. So you’re you’re not one of these dudes who’s just, you know, paying the bills and kind of leaving it up to others. You’re doing a lot of parenting. You’re doing a lot of fun things with them. Probably my favorite picture of you is with Jade.

00:05:15:03 – 00:05:31:22
Brad Singletary
I think she’s up under your truck or Ensign, and she was like, helping you in the garage. Like all up in there. You know, And you’re you’re kind of leading her through that. And and, of course, you know, sometimes they may not be the best job hands, but but you’re you’re having a moment there. You’re teaching them the little things.

00:05:31:22 – 00:05:36:12
Brad Singletary
And that was that was pretty awesome to see. You talk about your your your role as a dad.

00:05:37:00 – 00:05:48:26
David Scofield
Well, my main my main role or my main goal with two daughters is to, uh, I want I want them to be able to change their boyfriends. You know, boyfriends, oil and his car when I do that, because.

00:05:49:02 – 00:05:50:02
Brad Singletary
That’s that’s like.

00:05:51:04 – 00:06:06:07
David Scofield
The state of things right now. I don’t know. That might be the case, but, um, no, I just, uh, I think it’s super important to be involved in, in my kid’s life to have fun with them and do fun stuff with them. I don’t know. Teach them.

00:06:07:14 – 00:06:17:21
Brad Singletary
Yeah, man. So you’re in the silly, you know, Halloween costumes. You’re. I swear, I’ve seen you dress up like, I don’t know whether one of them was a princess or you were you.

00:06:17:21 – 00:06:18:05
David Scofield
You guys.

00:06:19:01 – 00:06:40:07
Brad Singletary
You had these, like, jeans, shorts, jorts like overalls and kind of dress up. Kind of similar to your daughter out in LA. That looked like a big family barbecue or something. But you’re just involved. You’re engaged. That’s one of the one of our Red nine principles is engagement that you just participate with good vibes, You participate with good vibes.

00:06:40:07 – 00:06:44:04
Brad Singletary
I mean, that’s everything that I’ve seen and known about with you and your kids. That’s what you’re doing.

00:06:44:26 – 00:07:12:14
David Scofield
Right? Um, I think so. I appreciate that. It’s, it’s, it’s definitely, it takes a lot of effort to to do that, but it’s so, it’s so worth it. Just spending it spending the time with kids and with my kids and being able to have fun with them and and teach them lessons through experience in life is I think it’s insanely valuable for them.

00:07:12:14 – 00:07:18:09
David Scofield
And then for me, it helps me a lot. I learn a lot from hanging out with kids, from hanging out with my kids.

00:07:19:20 – 00:07:27:03
Brad Singletary
Yeah, they teach you about life. Maybe they teach you about just a fresh perspective, but they probably teach you about yourself.

00:07:27:03 – 00:07:56:13
David Scofield
To teach me a lot about myself. I learn. I get to learn, uh, how. How frustrated I can get at the pettiest shit sometimes. And they’re a real vehicle for me to better myself when I can. I can kind of spot that kind of stuff in my self frustration, you know, and little things and being able to notice that in myself and kind of spread it throughout the rest of my life.

00:07:58:06 – 00:08:08:22
Brad Singletary
You talk about frustration. One of your buddies on there, I forget his name, but he said he’s known you pretty much your whole life and he’s never seen you in a bad mood. Is that true?

00:08:08:28 – 00:08:13:06
David Scofield
I don’t know about that. Maybe when I’m around my friends, I’m not really a bad man.

00:08:13:06 – 00:08:29:26
Brad Singletary
That’s why it’s always a good time. Some. You got a beer in your hand or something? Cause going to have some fun. What about with your kids? I mean, they. They see you’re frustrated. And if you ever do become, you know, angry, irritated or frustrated, what do you do after that?

00:08:29:28 – 00:09:02:26
David Scofield
Well, I think it’s I think it’s important to let them see me have emotion and then, um, correct it and go, you know, I don’t know how many times I’ve apologized to a four year old for being frustrated and, you know, hey, sorry I was frustrated at this. You know, I think it’s important for them to learn that it’s okay to to be pissed off, to be frustrated and sad and, you know, all that kind of stuff.

00:09:02:26 – 00:09:19:28
David Scofield
And through them, seeing me frustrated, that doesn’t give me an excuse to be frustrated right. But through them seeing that and then trying to trying to fix it, I think they can they can learn that having those feelings is fine and then they get to process them afterwards.

00:09:20:16 – 00:09:41:02
Brad Singletary
Oh, I love that so much, man. One of my one of our common heroes and mentors is Taco Mike SPURGEON. And that’s something that he taught me. Use whatever emotion you have. You feel what you feel, and you know, you got to keep yourself, you know, restrained to some degree, but it’s okay to feel things exactly like you’re saying.

00:09:42:01 – 00:10:02:07
Brad Singletary
I believe the same thing. I’ve never been one to, you know, take a fight with my wife that we can only do this in the bedroom. They can never hear us argue. I want them to see us have some issue. There’s some flare ups here and there. And I want to see us hug at the end that you can feel what you feel.

00:10:03:08 – 00:10:29:01
Brad Singletary
And it doesn’t have to be destructive. And you can take responsibility for it and be accountable and apologize if necessary. That I think that’s very healthy versus a lot of men stone cold, you know, stay away from emotion or they’ve bottled it up for so long that they really do have, you know, explosive situations. And then it’s almost they’ve never seen you get angry until you really lost it.

00:10:29:25 – 00:10:34:07
Brad Singletary
So some regular feelings as human. That’s normal.

00:10:34:16 – 00:10:34:28
David Scofield
Yeah.

00:10:36:19 – 00:10:44:05
Brad Singletary
So there were some exciting things in there just with your, like, hobbies. You’re a you’re a fisherman.

00:10:44:24 – 00:10:45:07
David Scofield
Love it.

00:10:45:10 – 00:10:49:28
Brad Singletary
How did you how did you start with that? Because I see your teaching. Your girls, even, you know, they were out there fishing with you.

00:10:50:05 – 00:11:23:16
David Scofield
Um, my dad, my biological dad, he. He’s been into it forever. So my first memories of fishing were, you know, with him going out, we would go. We’d go to, like, trout ponds, um, where they stocked a ton of trout and I knew, like, pay per trout that you catch. Like, it’s not really fishing. It was just let’s go catch some fish doing that and then going out on barges and doing deep sea stuff with them.

00:11:24:15 – 00:11:43:26
David Scofield
It really fizzled out a lot, you know, through life. But it’s it’s something that I’ve come back to and it’s it’s a thing that I can I can really find some peace in, you know, I can recenter myself after just kind of living in this crazy ass world and going through the meat grinder every day.

00:11:44:15 – 00:12:01:21
Brad Singletary
Yeah. It seems like some of the value of that stuff is not just if you catch fish or not, but it’s the opportunity to get away, Get out in nature. There’s some solitude. Maybe. I don’t know if you’re most of the time by yourself or you know you’re off by yourself. Even if you’re with someone, you have some quiet.

00:12:02:05 – 00:12:22:28
Brad Singletary
You’re just kind of connecting with the earth. And I mean, that’s that seems like some of the coolest parts of that. I grew up we were commercial fishermen. We had a crabbing business down in Florida, so we fished a lot of different kinds of things. But I lost the appreciation for that, I think because it was work, it was how our family fed ourselves and stuff.

00:12:22:28 – 00:12:28:04
Brad Singletary
And this seems like you’ve gone back to some of your roots with that as a way to find enjoyment.

00:12:28:19 – 00:12:55:27
David Scofield
Right? Yeah, It’s, uh, it lets me it really provides something for me to slow my mind down and focus on something else other than all the things you know, We just have so many stressors and all kinds of shit you got to worry about. That’s a bunch of stuff that’s in the future, and it’s something that that keeps me in the now and lets me focus on exactly what I’m doing.

00:12:56:12 – 00:13:15:12
David Scofield
Kind of hang out. Some fishing is more intense than others. You know, some stuff’s pretty, you know, like tournament fishing gets pretty wild and you’re really focused in on the day and then you’ve got some days you just kind of bait and wait and sit down and drink a couple drinks, you know, whatever those may be and hang out.

00:13:15:12 – 00:13:17:28
David Scofield
And that’s they’re both just as valuable.

00:13:18:17 – 00:13:29:04
Brad Singletary
What’s been your most meaningful, like fishing experience? Was it a tournament, something with your dad? I mean, you probably have so many, but talk about some that were just super cool for you.

00:13:30:19 – 00:14:03:29
David Scofield
Yeah, anytime I’ve I’ve gone out and gone out with my dad has been real cool. There’s one fairly recently, maybe a year or two ago, we went, we went out and we did some deep sea fishing. We did a, we did a 24 hour trip as a as a one day. And we went out. Newport went out to San Clemente Island to try to go get some try, go get some Bluefin, some yellowtail stuff like that.

00:14:04:16 – 00:14:31:13
David Scofield
And I was able to was me, my dad, my father in law and one of my brother in laws through marriage. But it was real cool because we got to go we got to hang out with each other and and be around each other. And most of us, my dad, I think in that video he said, I’ll let you catch some biggest fish next time.

00:14:33:04 – 00:14:55:06
David Scofield
He caught a he caught a fish that time and the rest of us did not. So I don’t know. I think it’s cool that we were able to go. We were able to hang out and we I mean, we sailed together for the most part, you know, like it was it was kind of a bust as far as catching goes.

00:14:55:20 – 00:15:05:00
David Scofield
But it was a good time to be around each other. Road trip with my father in law and a brother of mine. And, uh, go hang out with Dad. And I don’t know.

00:15:05:11 – 00:15:25:04
Brad Singletary
We talked so much about adventure and the need for men to just get out, have some kind of all day or multi-day adventure. Sounds like this was. That was exactly one of those kinds of things for you. What other what other cool adventures have you been on in your life, man? You these pictures and these video, the pictures in the video are just show a lot of fun stuff.

00:15:25:04 – 00:15:25:27
Brad Singletary
You done, man?

00:15:26:15 – 00:15:55:26
David Scofield
Yeah, I’m I’m a I’m a sucker for the, you know, the kind of adrenaline coursing through my veins. It doesn’t really present itself like that while you’re in it. And most of the time it just I think it’s just, uh, I really like that focus that you get that zones everything in your life out, and you just can focus on exactly what you’re doing.

00:15:55:26 – 00:16:11:18
David Scofield
And I’ve found that through several things. Yeah. Um, we’ve got some pictures up of highlighting that was, that was a big part of my life for a few years. Um.

00:16:11:28 – 00:16:18:22
Brad Singletary
Describe what that is. I know just from looking at the pictures, but for these guys on the, in the, in the audience, not knowing what highlighting is.

00:16:20:16 – 00:16:47:03
David Scofield
Basically basically the easiest way to explain it would be it’s almost like a tightrope between cliffs you go, you go up there, hike up, climb, do whatever, get to ends of a canyon and rig up a bunch of ropes and webbing and and walk across, walk back and forth.

00:16:47:13 – 00:16:52:24
Brad Singletary
Oh, that’s crazy. So this this line is how wide is the line? Um.

00:16:53:06 – 00:16:56:27
David Scofield
Usually it’s one inch thick when you’re just one inch wide. Yeah, one.

00:16:56:27 – 00:17:02:11
Brad Singletary
Inch. So that’s like the size of a ruler, right? That’s the thickness.

00:17:02:11 – 00:17:12:19
David Scofield
Of a Yeah, it’s fun. It’s a good time. Yeah. We had a lot of crazy adventures doing that. Um.

00:17:13:19 – 00:17:20:26
Brad Singletary
You have, like, a harness or. You’re right, there’s a little something around your foot. Or how do you know you’re not going to plummet to your death at the bottom?

00:17:21:09 – 00:17:47:11
David Scofield
Like, mentally, you know that that’s most likely not going to happen. Um, yeah. You have a harness. You’re wearing, like a climbing harness and a rope that goes from reclining harness to, like, a a ring that goes around the webbing that you’re walking on normally trails behind you. And if you fall, it’s, uh, it’s a scary moment, but it’s.

00:17:47:12 – 00:17:49:12
David Scofield
It’s pretty exhilarating. It’s fun.

00:17:50:19 – 00:17:52:29
Brad Singletary
No way, dude. That’s the stuff of nightmares. I mean.

00:17:53:16 – 00:17:55:17
David Scofield
Yeah. No, it’s good. I don’t know.

00:17:56:25 – 00:18:02:22
Brad Singletary
So do you stop that? Or how come you’re still doing it? Or when? When did you hang that up?

00:18:02:22 – 00:18:28:05
David Scofield
I stopped doing that. Um, it’s been a few years since I’ve been on a high line. That was. I don’t know, I kind of. I’m kind of a hobby hopper. Um, I got into it. I kind of. I You hit or I hit like, a like a climax. Like a like a high point in learning where I’m learning fast, learning fast.

00:18:28:05 – 00:19:10:12
David Scofield
Like just exponential growth. And then you hit a point where it’s where I would hit a point where where something gets a lot more difficult to progress. And the and then that’s when I find like, okay, well, maybe there’s something else I can progress in a lot. I like to learn a lot about things. So when I get to a point where I know obviously I don’t know everything about it, but I get to a point where something becomes just exponentially harder, way more difficult, I get more joy out of learning something new.

00:19:11:02 – 00:19:27:10
Brad Singletary
Yeah. So you kind of mastered the the basics or the intermediate level stuff and then you’re on to the next hobby, right? Hop on the next kind of fun, fun thing to do. And you’ve, you’ve had a number of those. So your work talk about your work like you’re a welder.

00:19:27:20 – 00:19:28:04
David Scofield
Right?

00:19:28:04 – 00:19:48:04
Brad Singletary
And how did you get into that stuff? I think that’s fascinating. I we were talking earlier about my son. My oldest son is kind of pursuing that in school right now and just loves it. It’s just so manly. I mean, maybe they’re women welders, too, of course. But, you know, you’re you’re putting pieces of steel together and steel or iron.

00:19:48:04 – 00:20:24:28
David Scofield
Steel. Steel. Yeah. So I got into welding. I was working over at Circus Circus. I was in the Adventure Dome, working on maintaining the rides. So climb and roller coasters and, you know, just working on the rides, doing preventative maintenance stuff, doing tear downs and rebuilds and all that kind of stuff. And I liked I just liked the idea of, you know, there was guys there that were welding and I liked the idea of of getting up on a on a track or welding.

00:20:24:28 – 00:21:03:16
David Scofield
You know, I just liked what they were doing and it was something that I could learn. And it’s back to that, you know, learning process. I like to learn new stuff. So that’s really that’s where it started. It started there and I had a lot of help there, a lot of guys. I really knew what they were doing and I would spend time before or after work and just well, and I was lucky enough to have the guys there to, you know, give me some pointers here and there and kind of teach me did some welding there and then and then found a job and got lucky, you know, lucky finding a real good job

00:21:03:16 – 00:21:03:28
David Scofield
for it.

00:21:04:22 – 00:21:21:25
Brad Singletary
Do you think this is your, you know, career home? Is this, you know, really solid and stable? You’re do you enjoy it enough that you think you’ll continue this throughout your life or you’re going to get on a new hobby? What did you call it? Hobby hopping, you know, in a new type of career was hard to know.

00:21:21:25 – 00:21:56:14
David Scofield
So I’ve battled for a long time like, what am I what do I want to do for the rest of my life? Or, you know, like choosing a career for me was always a very difficult thing. And when I finally found welding, I was a late twenties. Um, I was maybe 30 years old when I started welding. Uh, no, I was late twenties Anyways, um, that kind of drew me in to what would be okay for a career.

00:21:57:04 – 00:22:32:01
David Scofield
Um, I feel like anything most things, you know, there’s like, uh, there’s kind of this pipe dream. I think that a lot of people have, including myself, that, you know, you find something and you just dedicate yourself to it and it’s going to work out and it can be your career. And that works out for some people. But for the majority of us, we got to find something, You know, like I enjoy welding, I like welding.

00:22:32:24 – 00:22:40:14
David Scofield
But if I, if I won the lottery, I’m not going to go to work tomorrow. You know.

00:22:40:15 – 00:22:42:03
Brad Singletary
I’m married to welding forever.

00:22:42:08 – 00:23:05:24
David Scofield
Right? But I’ve found my I found my place in it. It’s something that I do enjoy doing and I don’t I don’t hate going to work, you know, I enjoy it a lot of the time. And it’s honestly, it comes down to it does it? It takes care of it takes care of the family. Takes care of it.

00:23:06:00 – 00:23:25:22
David Scofield
It’s got us our house. It’s got us cool stuff for the kids. Um, and, you know, it provides in that way. And really the way I look at it is just it’s just, it’s what I do in the mornings. I work from 6 to 2, Monday to Friday, and, uh, you know, that’s what I do in the mornings.

00:23:25:22 – 00:23:28:27
David Scofield
The rest of my life is, is, is more. So my it’s.

00:23:28:27 – 00:23:29:28
Brad Singletary
The real work and it’s.

00:23:29:28 – 00:23:32:03
David Scofield
The real world. That’s, yeah, that’s the real stuff.

00:23:32:03 – 00:24:10:28
Brad Singletary
I’m yeah, that’s how I feel, man. Work is just what I do to get away from my real job, which is being at home and being a dad. And this is kind of my fun work is fun for me. So, so I’m curious about your spirituality because when I look at this video and I hear the things that people say about you, it just seems like you have you know, he’s walking around helping people and spending every opportunity that you can to to bring love and, you know, bring light to people’s life, to bring some kind of, you know, assistance or help, something that we didn’t get in the video.

00:24:11:21 – 00:24:38:28
Brad Singletary
There was a guy that Scott and I both knew who was a retiree. You know, he basically lives alone. Um, divorced and lives alone kind of retirement age and, and is often maybe down. And Schofield here invited him fishing and he just picked this whole guy up and they went out and fished. And I don’t know whether or not you caught any fish, but man, that kind of thing.

00:24:39:19 – 00:25:04:29
Brad Singletary
That’s something that this dude still talks about as a very meaningful experience in like his whole life. So anyway, spirituality, because I think that’s obviously very different from from religion. Some people use religion for spirituality, but what is your sense of like the inner world of like purpose or just I’ll just let you take it from there? How do you see spirituality.

00:25:05:11 – 00:25:42:00
David Scofield
Spirituality So for me, this is something that I’ve I’ve learned a lot this year, specifically, Um, I’ve always, I’ve always so I grew up in, in religion and, um, there’s there are, there are definitely parts of it that made sense to me, Um, yeah, being kind of people, you know, being cool with other people, helping each other out, that kind of stuff.

00:25:43:00 – 00:26:15:07
David Scofield
And then it gets into weird rules and, and some, you know, some crazy stuff that just didn’t make sense to me. And that’s where, where religion loses me. Um, but I, I kept that, uh, I try to keep that base of just kindness and love with in day to day life. And sometimes it doesn’t show up every single day, right?

00:26:15:07 – 00:26:57:24
David Scofield
But it, uh, I try to make it or I try to have it show up on a fairly regular basis. Um, let’s see. So one of the big things I learned this year, it was actually kind of a crazy, kind of a crazy thing. I so I came to the group Facebook page and I brought up, um, I brought up a trouble that I’ve had for a long time with, um, with self, like, how do you love yourself?

00:26:59:08 – 00:27:18:09
David Scofield
And went into this thing about it and, you know, I just, I have trouble like loving myself. I always see all the things that I could be doing better, you know? You see, I really all those things stick out to me. It doesn’t matter what I’ve done or how good I’ve done. You can always do better. Always. Forever.

00:27:18:10 – 00:27:49:19
David Scofield
Right. Um, so I have those were kind of my focuses and I have, I don’t know, I had a lot of really bad kind of self-talk about stuff like that and, and just needing to do better, wanting to do better. And anyways, I brought that to the group on Facebook and somebody, somebody mentioned a book and they stated that the author was Eckhart Totally.

00:27:50:27 – 00:28:26:12
David Scofield
But looking for the book under Eckhart totally didn’t come up. He accidentally put Eckhart Totally. Long story short, I’m in a I got into a kind of a rabbit hole of Eckhart Totally. And through listening. So Eckhart totally is a spiritual leader. He’s a spiritual teacher. He’s really, really cool. He takes he takes things from a bunch of different religions and brings them all together.

00:28:26:13 – 00:29:14:21
David Scofield
Um, he calls he calls a lot of it signposting, like, uh, like religions or signposting. They’re all kind of pointing in the same direction, but teaching it a little bit different and whatnot. So he uses a lot of the, the teachings from like Christ or Buddha or what have you, um, but the, the, the big thing, spirituality wise, that has all kind of come full circle and is really hit home for me this year in particular, is that we are he uses he uses the word human being as two words.

00:29:14:21 – 00:30:09:06
David Scofield
We have our human side and we have our we have our being. And our human side is our, our that’s that’s the side that’s programed. That’s, you know, from from birth til this very moment, you’re you’re learning. You’re almost like a computer learning through your life experience. Um, and that being is when you can separate that and you can, if you can sit and you can shut that off and just be if you just sit and experience everything that’s around you, um, kind of without sense, like, without touching or smelling, you, you just experience the world around you and appreciate it.

00:30:10:01 – 00:31:08:17
David Scofield
Um, that’s being, that’s, and obviously this spiritual teacher does a lot better job talking about that than me. But, uh, in that being and that’s, that being is, is in everything that’s in all of life, um, so with that said, so I have that you have that you know, our kids have that the uh, the, I don’t know all that everybody in the world that’s driving us all crazy or, you know, like whatever it is, they all have that same being, um, so really, the way I see it is, is what I’ve learned is that we are all we’re all the same brain.

00:31:08:19 – 00:31:38:24
David Scofield
We’re all, we’re all the same thing, just kind of programed differently. And I guess that’s, that’s a big thing that I’ve, that I’ve come to learn about my spirituality, that kindness and, and grace and and love can be extended to everyone and everything because it’s all we’re all I don’t know. We’re all the same.

00:31:39:18 – 00:31:55:21
Brad Singletary
How is that different from what you thought before or how was that a new I? It makes me want to I’ve seen and read some of his stuff, but I want to go learn more. I love what I have learned from him and watch some videos except he talks so slow. I had to turn it on like 1.5 or two to x, you know?

00:31:55:21 – 00:32:09:24
Brad Singletary
But how is that different? What? What was novel or new about that philosophy, about being and how we’re all the same kind of similar beings?

00:32:09:24 – 00:32:24:04
David Scofield
I guess in my past it’s been, um, it’s been separate. It’s been separated like we.

00:32:26:15 – 00:32:36:15
Brad Singletary
Separated, like based on your accomplishments or whether or not you were keeping the rules or your, the worth of your being was dictated on some other thing or.

00:32:36:17 – 00:33:02:16
David Scofield
Right. And yeah, in a lot of religion there’s like, are you worthy or, you know, worthy. Worthy of what? And what are the fuck are you talking about? Yeah. I don’t, it’s, yeah, that, that kind of stuff separated everybody. And then a lot of religions too. I’ve learned about a lot of them.

00:33:05:02 – 00:33:29:11
David Scofield
And in most cases it’s, you know, like, well, this is the this is the correct this is the right religion or the true religion or the this is the right God or, you know, all this other stuff is nonsense. And it’s not that’s not really the case. That’s all. To me, all of those things exist because we believe they exist.

00:33:29:11 – 00:33:51:05
David Scofield
They we think somebody thinks they exist. Therefore they do, because they’re not it’s not a tangible thing, but of a mass number of people are thinking of it or or believe in it or then then it’s there. You know, you can’t deny that. So it’s there for them. That’s very real. Yeah.

00:33:51:19 – 00:34:05:12
Brad Singletary
So I don’t know you saying that you learned a lot of this this year, but you weren’t seeking it, so you first had a question. So I love a whole lot about what you’re saying. You know, you kind of had some questions about what was it your asking about in the Facebook group?

00:34:05:12 – 00:34:07:02
David Scofield
It was it was self love.

00:34:07:02 – 00:34:09:19
Brad Singletary
Okay, How do I learn to love myself?

00:34:09:19 – 00:34:10:27
David Scofield
Yeah. Yeah.

00:34:10:29 – 00:34:12:27
Brad Singletary
So somebody turn you on to a book.

00:34:13:16 – 00:34:17:15
David Scofield
Totally by accident. Yeah, it was. It was a different book by a different author.

00:34:17:28 – 00:34:21:08
Brad Singletary
And I found it through the search of the wrong thing.

00:34:21:08 – 00:34:28:19
David Scofield
I found Eckhart totally. Okay. Yeah. Um, because that’s the author that he put out. Okay.

00:34:29:08 – 00:34:49:17
Brad Singletary
And so here’s I love about that. You have a question, So you’re wondering about being a better man. You’re wondering about how to love and appreciate yourself more, respect yourself more, whatever that was. And then you ask for some help. So resourcefulness is part of the man. That’s part of what you talk about. You always loved to learn.

00:34:49:17 – 00:35:05:24
Brad Singletary
You always want to be growing. You always want to learn new things. So then you ask other people, this Facebook group, you know, 15 or 1600 men from all over the world. And so you just throw it out there, Hey, how do I learn love myself more? So something along those lines, pretty much.

00:35:05:24 – 00:35:19:23
David Scofield
It was I mean, it was more drawn out than that. And and I’m a lot better I’m a lot better at writing something out. I can articulate what I’m trying to say better. But yeah, it was basically along those lines.

00:35:19:23 – 00:35:42:28
Brad Singletary
You threw it out there and but you’re seeking like the wisdom that other men might share. Some probably had all kinds of different ideas and thoughts, but that itself is bad ass that you’re asking for insight. Give me some wisdom to lead me to something of some understanding. You found this other stuff by accident. You go, you said devouring it or you were, you know, you spent a lot of time learning about his teachings.

00:35:43:05 – 00:35:43:19
David Scofield
Right.

00:35:43:24 – 00:36:00:17
Brad Singletary
And that’s changed you. And then what has how has that changed you since then? So I want to talk about some of the and things that you’ve done this year. But how does that make you see things differently just walking around in the world on a day to day basis?

00:36:00:17 – 00:36:35:14
David Scofield
I appreciate and I truly love all it’s hard to say, but it’s true. I love everything. You know, that’s that’s going on. I appreciate, you know, people experiences time that people put into stuff just there’s so much that goes into every single little thing that’s like in your life, every moment of your day. There’s so much shit that goes into that just aligns for that moment to happen.

00:36:36:02 – 00:37:19:25
David Scofield
And, and I, I try. It’s helped me try to appreciate every moment that I can. It’s helped me a lot with, with, with judgment of other people. I’ve always tried. No, maybe not always. I’ve tried to better myself with judgment of others and of myself. But, you know, when when I can look at everybody as, I mean, weird as the same thing, you know, the same we’re the same thing.

00:37:19:25 – 00:37:24:21
David Scofield
I can truly believe that. Everyone’s just they’re just doing their best. Could they do better? Hell, yeah.

00:37:25:20 – 00:37:45:01
Brad Singletary
So on the human part of that thing, you’re saying the human thing is like you’re tall and thin and I’m short and chubby, but our being is the same. So we have different we have these distinct differences in our human side. But the being that, you know, this whatever exists in us is the same is the same thing.

00:37:45:01 – 00:37:47:12
Brad Singletary
And maybe that’s a spiritual part or whatever.

00:37:47:12 – 00:38:21:13
David Scofield
Definitely it is. Yeah. And the human side is isn’t just physical. It’s it’s our thoughts. It’s our, um, it’s our thoughts and it’s our actions. It’s the things that we do. It’s how we get through life. Like, I mean, you’re a, you know, a lot of people have coping mechanisms that they have started when they were young and they don’t even know that they exist until they sit down with someone like you and kind of break things apart and and learn, Oh, I do this because of that.

00:38:21:13 – 00:38:28:21
David Scofield
Or I think this way, because of this experience or this number of experiences in my life. That’s our that’s our human side.

00:38:29:00 – 00:38:38:26
Brad Singletary
So the human part is whatever is unique to us individually, the beings side is what’s not unique. It’s we’re all we all have this common commonality.

00:38:38:29 – 00:38:52:02
David Scofield
Yeah, it’s it’s consciousness is what you know, Eckhart would Describe it as. It’s just it’s this consciousness that everything has just this existence.

00:38:53:19 – 00:39:20:29
Brad Singletary
Yeah, that’s great stuff. I love one of his quotes. Something about whatever the universe brings to you at any given time is exactly what is necessary for the evolution of your consciousness. Like whatever bullshit you run into, it’s good. It’s you need that. This is something meaningful for you. Take it and use it. And and of course, he’s much more like poetic about it all.

00:39:20:29 – 00:39:30:10
Brad Singletary
But I love that stuff, man. So you were talking about Grace a little bit. What are you. What are you talking about with talk about the concept of, like grace.

00:39:30:10 – 00:39:54:19
David Scofield
And so we go going with that. So like, I’ll, I’ll, I’ll look at my kids when they’re doing something wrong or, you know, they’re upsetting me and I don’t I don’t think of I don’t think less of them because they did something that you would expect a four year old to do, you know, or a two year old to do.

00:39:54:19 – 00:40:19:04
David Scofield
Like, of course, a two year old is going to throw a tantrum at some point. And, you know, a four year old is going to push her sister and take a toy or, you know, you know, I don’t think less of them. You know, you handle the situation and you help them learn through it and whatnot. But that to me is is having some having some grace for them.

00:40:19:04 – 00:40:33:01
David Scofield
Like, I’m not going to think less of you because you screw up. Um, and that extends to everybody. And then the hardest thing for me was was extending that to myself.

00:40:34:18 – 00:40:37:01
Brad Singletary
It’s easier extending grace to yourself.

00:40:37:05 – 00:40:59:07
David Scofield
Yeah. So having, you know, just knowing that it’s all right to do dumb shit, you know, I can. I can screw up and learn from it and keep going like you would like what you were just saying about Eckhart’s quote. Um, well, what did you say again?

00:40:59:12 – 00:41:07:06
Brad Singletary
Something like, you know, whatever the universe brings to you is exactly what your consciousness needs to evolve or something like that.

00:41:07:06 – 00:41:24:00
David Scofield
Right? So yeah, so all the, all the dumb stuff, all the, you know, all the great things and all the bad things and wonderful things and horrible things, and then everything in between is all helping us in some way. If you let it.

00:41:24:05 – 00:41:31:26
Brad Singletary
It’s all beneficial, as painful as it might be. Right? There’s some good in it. And let it, let it help you, Right.

00:41:32:01 – 00:41:32:12
David Scofield
Wow.

00:41:32:26 – 00:41:53:26
Brad Singletary
So, yeah, man, you’re talking about, you know, Grace for the four year old. She pushes her sister and whatever, and then and then to other people outside of your family, maybe. But then even to yourself, it seems like we spend so much of our thought, so much of our time thinking. We spend so much of it in judgment.

00:41:54:09 – 00:42:15:25
Brad Singletary
And that’s not very useful. I mean, so one of the red nine principles is discernment, which means, to be fair in your judgments, you know, see, read between the lines and see what’s going on and try to notice what’s reality. But that also might mean some greater depth to the person’s worth as a you know, the person’s like.

00:42:15:29 – 00:42:34:08
Brad Singletary
And when you’re talking about this being earlier, you were talking about in the religion, you know, the idea of worthiness, you’re saying there’s just this infinite worthiness. Everybody’s worthy. They’re the being. It can’t be changed. There’s no need to to prove yourself.

00:42:34:17 – 00:43:00:14
David Scofield
Right? Right. It’s just it’s just there. We we all have it, and it’s, uh, it’s mind blowing that. I mean, it’s. If you really think about it, it’s mind blowing that we even exist. Like what a what a crazy thing that is. And how. How grateful can you be that you can. They literally are just here. That I’m shit, that I’m here right now is insane.

00:43:00:14 – 00:43:05:20
David Scofield
But anywhere in the day, you know, just say you. I don’t know.

00:43:05:24 – 00:43:32:18
Brad Singletary
Yeah yeah the I think I’ve heard somewhere who quoted this with, you know it’s like a one in 4 trillion chance that you came to me that you and I came to exist one in 4 trillion. So there’s some meaningfulness to it all. And so one of those principles in the retina and we talk about reverence, and that is, you know, it’s often used in like, you know, in the religious world or whatever.

00:43:32:18 – 00:43:53:27
Brad Singletary
I think some pastors, even their title is like reverend, and it comes from the same word. And but the idea is just that there’s some humility. You got some gratitude. You know, you kind of see things as connected. You see life. You treat life with some respect. That’s what I you have a very strong sense of like reverence.

00:43:54:17 – 00:44:12:08
Brad Singletary
You know, I’ve seen your pictures of you out here on the strip or whatever in that banana suit. I saw you a zip line in naked. I’m pretty sure I tried to get that in the video, but it was to your skin blended in with the desert background. We couldn’t see it, but that was true. That showed.

00:44:12:28 – 00:44:17:03
David Scofield
Up in the air.

00:44:17:03 – 00:44:24:01
Brad Singletary
Coming down between the harness, you know, and ball sack everywhere. But you do, man. You got this this great sense of.

00:44:24:01 – 00:44:25:10
David Scofield
Like.

00:44:25:10 – 00:44:50:17
Brad Singletary
Just kindness, respect, humility, gratitude. That’s pretty awesome. So you went seeking that. You found you found some things that were helpful in your own understanding that. But but you know what, man? You before all that because some of your lifelong friends here in this in this video said they’ve known you since high school and you’ve just been a helpful dude all the way I mean, all the way through life.

00:44:50:17 – 00:45:10:25
Brad Singletary
Neighbors move in and you’re just showing up, offering to help with stuff. You know, here’s some tools here. What do you need? Let me help you out. Dave’s done things to help me. I mean, and so this isn’t just this year that you’ve been that guy. You’ve kind of been you’ve been shaping that part of you for a long time.

00:45:10:25 – 00:45:36:26
Brad Singletary
And and maybe some of that is just some inherent gifts that you have, I believe. But talk about just how you handle the people in your life. You know, the the neighbor, the coworker, the friend, the family member. Because surely people piss you off, but you’re giving a whole lot of good out there. You’re doing a lot of good.

00:45:36:26 – 00:46:20:19
David Scofield
Thanks. Yeah, I, I, I try. I think I think it was back when you, I think you had Justin Mackey right on on here and he spoke about relationships. Mm hmm. Um, and that’s, that’s what that is of. I’ve to me, relationships are uber important in, in life in general. And every relationship that I can, that I can have and help grow is, makes me better off.

00:46:20:19 – 00:46:49:24
David Scofield
And hopefully I can. I can make them better off as well. So that’s, that’s what that is as well. I’ll help whoever I can. And I think, I think helping people if I, I truly enjoy helping people and doing stuff for others. But it really does come back, you know, tenfold. The the more you do for for other people that you feel it right.

00:46:49:24 – 00:47:22:22
David Scofield
It feels good. But then somewhere down the road something pops up and you need some help and or, you know, someone offers you something or I don’t know I just I think relationships are super important in life because, I mean, it’s kind of the idea behind the Alpha Quorum race is we need tribe and the society that we live in now doesn’t really force us to create that tribe like it would have, you know, whatever thousand years ago.

00:47:22:22 – 00:47:47:01
David Scofield
But through trying to make these trying to trying to create and feed relationships, it creates that it creates your own kind of tribe. You you know, that those people can count on you. And a lot of the times you can count on those people.

00:47:47:28 – 00:48:09:24
Brad Singletary
I can just tell that that’s not your primary motivation. Otherwise, you know, that’s maybe manipulation or that’s a transactional relationship. You’re not doing that. You know, the guy your your dad was talking about where you’re going to dinner and somebody broke down and you whip around, make a U-turn and you know, you’re helping this guy. You’re supposed to be somewhere for a family dinner and you’re helping some guy on the side of the road.

00:48:10:01 – 00:48:22:15
Brad Singletary
That’s not he you probably not going to run into him again. You don’t need you’re not out there gathering credits for your future. And I don’t know how I know that. I just feel it. And I know that’s not what you’re doing.

00:48:23:01 – 00:48:59:20
David Scofield
Yeah, I guess maybe I was kind of. Maybe I’m. Maybe I’m wording that wrong or something. I just. It is about I think I really do think relationships are important, but I don’t have to receive from a relationship and situations like that. It’s just I don’t know. It just it, it feels right to go help somebody like some dude who is stuck in the middle of the street.

00:48:59:20 – 00:49:03:14
David Scofield
And poor guy was driving an old dodge, you know. So I. Oh, yeah, they.

00:49:04:06 – 00:49:04:28
Brad Singletary
All, they all need.

00:49:04:28 – 00:49:16:17
David Scofield
Help. Know how to get out and help them pushes Dodge and mentioned that it was a if it was a Chevy where you wanted to go but uh, yeah, I don’t know. Um.

00:49:17:00 – 00:49:18:29
Brad Singletary
Well, a worst case scenario would be a Ford, but.

00:49:19:11 – 00:49:19:17
David Scofield
Just.

00:49:19:25 – 00:49:20:15
Brad Singletary
Keep that out.

00:49:20:23 – 00:49:21:16
David Scofield
Okay? You know.

00:49:21:16 – 00:49:38:01
Brad Singletary
Keep it serious in our talk here. Well, yeah, man. So, like, you’re you’re you’re talking about, you’ve you’ve learned some language recently that says kind of we’re all the same, but you’ve been living that way. You’ve seen that’s what you would want to do. Somebody if, if you were stuck somewhere, if you were broken down, you would want that.

00:49:38:01 – 00:49:44:01
Brad Singletary
And so maybe part of it is, well, why not help this guy? Maybe it won’t take too much of my time. Did you ever make it to the dinner?

00:49:44:08 – 00:49:46:07
David Scofield
Yeah. Yeah, definitely.

00:49:46:14 – 00:49:49:10
Brad Singletary
And without too much, you know, grease on your hands or whatever.

00:49:49:12 – 00:49:54:01
David Scofield
No, I was. I was pretty gassed. Uh, that was a big, fat girl of a truck, so.

00:49:54:01 – 00:50:17:00
Brad Singletary
Oh, so you mentioned the. The interview with Justin Mackey, and I don’t know if he used this word in the podcast that he did a couple episodes with us or if it was in conversation outside of that. But he talked about I’d never heard this word before, but husbandry was like the art of, you know, being a husband, husbandry anyway, think is a great word.

00:50:17:00 – 00:50:37:26
Brad Singletary
I guess it’s a real word. Probably. He’s smarter than me. So talk about husbandry. Your role as a as a husband and how you, you know, some of the principles that you’re trying to live by, how that stuff shows up in your marriage. And I know I know your wife. I know Bri, and she seems like just a sweetheart.

00:50:37:26 – 00:50:47:13
Brad Singletary
And but I know when you’re when you’re dealing with human beings, when you’re dealing with feelings, when you’re dealing with a long term relationship, things probably creep in. And, you know, we’re all human.

00:50:48:16 – 00:51:04:20
David Scofield
Right, man, to be it, to be a husband, to be in a in a marriage, you kind of a I feel like I kind of grew up thinking that it’s one thing and actually having no idea what the hell it actually was.

00:51:04:20 – 00:51:05:00
Brad Singletary
We all.

00:51:05:00 – 00:51:07:12
David Scofield
Got to do it in.

00:51:07:18 – 00:51:08:06
Brad Singletary
Fantasy.

00:51:08:14 – 00:51:42:15
David Scofield
Yeah. Yeah. We don’t you don’t know until you do it and the biggest thing with trying to to be a good husband currently and be better as I go is again, I’m constantly I think it’s important to try to learn. Um, there’s always room to grow, right? And I don’t know, I just. I really try to be there for her.

00:51:42:15 – 00:52:07:25
David Scofield
I try to support her in, in a lot of things. Um, but I, I learn a lot from her. She’s, she’s the first person in my life that has ever, like, any, any wild ass idea that I have or stupid thing that I want to do or whatever. She just it, she’s like, Yeah, go ahead. And that is huge.

00:52:07:25 – 00:52:34:19
David Scofield
And so I think that part of being a good husband is also is I mean, there’s been a lot of guys that have talked on, on this podcast about that kind of stuff. But for me, a huge thing is, is learning from your spouse, not just learning like, you know, what are they what do they need in, in your relationship or or how can you help them and do all this stuff.

00:52:34:19 – 00:52:50:00
David Scofield
But learning from them, like using them as an example to also be better? Mm hmm. Um, and I, I try my best, you know, to do that with. With my wife.

00:52:50:27 – 00:53:17:07
Brad Singletary
Yeah, there’s some. I think this was some research out of Australia. I’m not sure who who has this. Maybe it’s the Guardians. I’m not sure, but somebody out there, somebody famous is talking about. The fact that the happiest relationships are literally where the man is, where the husband is, he allows himself to be influenced by his spouse. So the worst relationships are where the man does not have any.

00:53:17:15 – 00:53:33:23
Brad Singletary
He won’t allow any. He won’t allow himself to learn from her. And you’re saying you’re you’re allowing yourself to learn. There’s a lot to learn. There’s there’s a lot going on in life. And you’re allowing her to influence you. So she’s supportive, but she’s also teaching you and.

00:53:34:03 – 00:54:00:14
David Scofield
Right. And I think that’s that balance is important because she is very supportive. Um, so I know I’m not just like, you know, being taken advantage of, although honestly, today before I came over here, um, I, I told her, you know what? I don’t, I don’t really enjoy or like the fact that I am as trained as I am because she might.

00:54:00:14 – 00:54:22:09
David Scofield
My two year old went over and dumped a bunch of just went over and dumped the dog water all over the floor. And my wife and I are both sitting on the couch and she saw it happen and I was kind of staring off into my phone and she saw it happen. And she said something along the lines of did did just dump the dog water.

00:54:22:26 – 00:54:42:28
David Scofield
And I looked up and I see the dog water spilled on the floor and like, without anything just like stood up. And it takes all energy to clean this shit up. And I don’t know, but she does the same thing too. So that is I’ve learned from her, but I don’t know, maybe I’ve been programed by her too.

00:54:44:10 – 00:55:03:01
Brad Singletary
Man, there was a moment, and maybe it’s because I’m looking at this. When I was doing this video right at the very end, when she said, There is no one more deserving of this award, and I’m very proud of her. Now, I don’t know her that well, but I think I know people well enough and I’ve got this on my earphones.

00:55:03:01 – 00:55:23:11
Brad Singletary
I’m playing the same clips, you know, 40 times each to get it. All right. And I just hear this little bit of emotion. I hear this little bit of just excitement that she is truly proud of you, man. Like I it was just giddy. She was trying not to be to look too. But she was saying there’s no one more deserving of this.

00:55:23:11 – 00:55:34:20
Brad Singletary
And I’m very proud of him. And I don’t know, I just I believed her. I believe that that was a deep appreciation for you when she said that. I just maybe others didn’t catch that. But do you think she’s proud of you?

00:55:34:27 – 00:56:01:00
David Scofield
Absolutely I do. Yeah, I think I think we’re both proud of each other. We’re both growing and learning and and it’s you can’t you can’t help but feel proud of of your spouse when when you’re paying attention to their growth. You know, I think how now they’re doing.

00:56:01:00 – 00:56:17:04
Brad Singletary
Wow, that’s cool. You can’t help but to be proud of your spouse if you’re paying attention to their growth. That that may be the problem with a lot of men is that they’re not paying attention. They’re not looking at men and women, too. But if you’re paying attention, you’re probably going to be proud.

00:56:17:27 – 00:56:20:14
David Scofield
Right? Wow. Yeah.

00:56:20:15 – 00:56:42:12
Brad Singletary
I see you guys doing like music festivals. And, you know, I know you both have great careers, but maybe, maybe you’re not, like, infinitely loaded with cash or whatever, but you make things a priority. You’re doing trips, you’re traveling, you’re taking a little weekend getaways. You got you’re going to concerts and you’re just you seem like you’re just living life together and making it making it work.

00:56:42:12 – 00:56:45:20
Brad Singletary
I mean, it just seems like you’re kind of living the American dream.

00:56:46:13 – 00:56:53:17
David Scofield
Making it work. Yeah, that’s definitely that’s it right there. I don’t know. Yeah, we’re doing our best for sure.

00:56:54:19 – 00:57:12:09
Brad Singletary
There’s a couple other things I wanted to mention. So you did a you did two huge things this year. Talk about heroes on the water, because we talked about the mental health and the we’ll talk about the whole program and your involvement with it and why you did it.

00:57:12:23 – 00:57:42:29
David Scofield
Here is on the water is a I’m super excited about and blessed to be able to be a part of here in Vegas. So Heroes on the Water is a organization. It’s a it’s a nonprofit organization that’s all over the U.S. And we were able to get a chapter started here in Las Vegas. And what we do is provide like a day of fishing.

00:57:43:12 – 00:58:11:17
David Scofield
We take people out, we’ve got kayaks, we got kayaks, trailer, fishing gear, a bunch of cool stuff. And we take veterans active duty and first responders and, their family, and we organize little events and get everybody out on the water to go fishing. Just a it’s the slogan for heroes on the water is paddle fish.

00:58:11:17 – 00:58:14:05
Brad Singletary
He’ll paddle fishy or that’s awesome.

00:58:14:05 – 00:58:39:17
David Scofield
And it’s something that I’ve found in my life that helps me out a lot. And I know it’s helped a ton of other people out and just, I don’t know, like what we were talking about before, kind of connecting with nature and getting your mind focused on something else and and a million other reasons that it’s good. But yeah, we’ve got some we’ve got some good plans for it this year.

00:58:39:17 – 00:59:03:03
David Scofield
We didn’t we didn’t do a ton with it last year. I think we well we got our three outings done last year. Um, one of them I was able to get a group of firefighters from here in Vegas. We went out to, we actually went out to a frigate, I think it was Gun Lake Reservoir out in Utah and did some fishing out there.

00:59:03:03 – 00:59:24:21
David Scofield
The guys had a blast. Most of them hadn’t really fished and I don’t know, they loved it. They had a good time. And that’s that’s really what it’s about, getting people out to go get away from especially jobs like that that are pretty mentally taxing. Um, trying to serve the guys and the men and men and women that serve us.

00:59:25:10 – 00:59:25:23
David Scofield
So.

00:59:26:14 – 00:59:40:02
Brad Singletary
Yeah. So what was your involvement with that? I mean, this is a nonprofit that exists out there with chapters all over and whatever. It didn’t exist in Nevada, right? Until you got involved in what was your how did you how did you do your part of that?

00:59:40:13 – 01:00:19:10
David Scofield
So I guess it did kind of exist in Nevada. But the last director wasn’t I don’t know, I guess I don’t know the full story of it. Nobody knew about it and they weren’t doing any events or anything. So I probably got busy with life and whatnot, but I heard that they wanted to start a chapter here and just I reached out to a bunch of people and finally got a hold of someone that was in charge of getting chapters off the ground.

01:00:20:11 – 01:00:29:29
David Scofield
Um, and so, yeah, so we started the, we started the chapter out here.

01:00:29:29 – 01:00:53:04
Brad Singletary
It’s just remarkable, man. People don’t do that. I mean, people like that. And that’s the kind of thing that this guy is, you know, I think you got some opposite work schedules with your wife. You know, you spend a lot of time with your two very young daughters. You’ve got your own full time work, you’ve got your own hobbies, you’ve got all these friends you’re taking care of, even strangers on the side of the road.

01:00:53:11 – 01:01:14:24
Brad Singletary
And then it’s like, Hey, let me start a nonprofit here in Nevada for the veterans. And first responders. You know, take them out fishing, paddle, fish, heal. Good grief, man. That’s just that’s the most impressive thing ever. So this is all about kind of mental health and healing from traumatic experiences. I mean, that’s part of their, like mission statement or something about.

01:01:14:24 – 01:01:46:04
David Scofield
Yeah, that’s a lot of it. Um, it also recognizes that the families deal with that too. Like, um, you know, people, people, men and women coming back from deployment and, and stuff, they’re, you know, a lot of times are different when you get home, Um, therapy, first responders, they see the wildest stuff, you know, they deal with some crazy stuff and then they got to go home to their families.

01:01:46:04 – 01:02:06:08
David Scofield
And, you know, it’s hard for them. But, you know, there’s probably some distancing and stuff with family and whatnot. So it lets their family come out as well. And let’s people let’s let’s the families connect and do something fun together and just kind of provides the vehicle for them to do that.

01:02:06:08 – 01:02:08:07
Brad Singletary
So you are a veteran yourself?

01:02:08:17 – 01:02:09:13
David Scofield
Yeah. Yeah.

01:02:10:11 – 01:02:17:29
Brad Singletary
I had the hardest time getting information about that, but I’m curious, so you served in the Air Force? Yep. And you went overseas. You?

01:02:18:28 – 01:02:51:00
David Scofield
Yeah, I did. Um, I did a year, uh, in Korea. Um, and then, uh, let’s see, I was in, I was in Phenix, and then I went to Korea for a year, and then I was at Moody Air Force Base in Georgia, where I had the chance to deploy with the combat search and rescue guys. I’m not half as bad ass as any of those guys, but I was.

01:02:51:00 – 01:03:03:20
David Scofield
I got to go with them in support of them. Um, and so, yeah, deployed to Afghanistan and uh, had some wild experiences out there.

01:03:03:20 – 01:03:09:13
Brad Singletary
And what year was that like, where was that in terms of the whole war and everything? What about what you.

01:03:09:13 – 01:03:15:13
David Scofield
Were that I was in Afghanistan in 2011. Wow.

01:03:16:19 – 01:03:24:12
Brad Singletary
So you were just young if you’re 34 now, that was like 12 years ago. You were pretty young, pretty young guy at that point.

01:03:24:17 – 01:03:31:06
David Scofield
Yeah, I think I was for 21, 22, 22, maybe 23.

01:03:31:07 – 01:03:35:14
Brad Singletary
Would you would you recommend the military? I mean, if a young man is interested and would you.

01:03:36:28 – 01:03:37:02
David Scofield
You.

01:03:37:02 – 01:03:40:28
Brad Singletary
Can’t see this because we’re not filming it, but his eyes just got really big and.

01:03:41:13 – 01:04:00:19
David Scofield
Oh man, I think it’s I what you need to understand about the military is that it’s not, uh, it’s not a job. This is. It’s the military is a life. And that’s a hard thing for a lot of people. It was hard for me.

01:04:00:19 – 01:04:07:19
Brad Singletary
You’ve got responsibilities. Even when you’re not like, on the job. You it it’s. It’s all day and night for years of your life.

01:04:07:25 – 01:04:36:14
David Scofield
Yeah. And they move you wherever they want. And. And you know, you’re, you’re, you’re a tool for the, for the government. So it’s, I mean if you understand that and you want to go do it and you want to, you know, go fight for freedom or, you know, whatever have you, a lot of guys I remember just joined so that they could get the benefits, you know, and that’s another thing.

01:04:36:14 – 01:05:18:18
David Scofield
Sure. Um, I would only recommend the military to certain kinds of people. And if I do recommend the military to anybody, I definitely recommend the Air Force. Um, just being in it. I know everybody talks shit about the Air Force because you call Air Force the Air Force. Um, but the reality was that being in the Air Force, you are treated better than the Army guys were treated or the Marines were treated and, um, as far as military goes, like we had been in the Air Force, you’ve got it pretty cut.

01:05:19:12 – 01:05:38:25
David Scofield
And so if you want to go, do it. Smart and join the military, then you want to join the Air Force. If anything, I think unless you want to. I don’t know. That totally depends on somebody wants, you know, what do they want to go after? So he wants to go be an infantryman. And you know, you’re going to you’re going to fucking go through it.

01:05:38:25 – 01:05:42:21
David Scofield
But yeah, if that’s what you want to do send it, I.

01:05:43:07 – 01:05:51:28
Brad Singletary
I saw you on one of the pictures there. You’re like laying on top of this huge, like bomb or something. I was just like, Oh, I bet that wasn’t authorized.

01:05:51:28 – 01:05:55:01
David Scofield
Yeah, Yeah, that was when planking was.

01:05:55:14 – 01:05:57:15
Brad Singletary
Oh, yeah, that’s what it was all about.

01:05:57:20 – 01:06:03:05
David Scofield
Planking on stuff. Yeah. So I just laid on a is a big practice. Bones. Uh.

01:06:04:06 – 01:06:26:01
Brad Singletary
So military veteran you care about, you know, the mental health of first responders and veterans were instrumental in creating this Heroes on the water. You also did something this year that was super cool. And I want to know how you how this came about. This car show. So this was like an assisted living facility or something. And you arranged like this car parade.

01:06:26:01 – 01:06:44:09
Brad Singletary
And there’s one of the pictures in there where there’s all these guys wheelchairs. You know, these guys look like they’re, you know, 80, 90 years old or something. And they’re sort of waving at the at the the shovels and the mustangs driving by or whatever they were. And what how did that come to be?

01:06:44:21 – 01:07:16:06
David Scofield
That was that was super cool. I’m glad I got to do that. And we actually are doing a, uh, a men’s group at that assisted living. How are you freaking serious as well? So we’ll do a monthly we’re doing a monthly men’s group there. So the guys so that came about because, um, I’m going to sound kind of silly, but I was, I was listening to a podcast and it was Gary, it was Gary Vee.

01:07:16:06 – 01:07:48:11
David Scofield
I was listening to a Gary Vee podcast and he mentioned, um, go volunteer at a retirement, a retirement home or assisted living home or something along those lines. Go volunteer there and experience and people that are very aware that they’re at the end of their life. That’s the harsh reality of it. You know, that’s they know that, right?

01:07:48:14 – 01:08:12:28
David Scofield
We all know that. Um, a good experience. People that are, that are at that stage in life and and you can you can gain a lot from that you learn lessons from those people and and because they they just have so much more experience in life than we do or than I do right now. You know I’ve got my 30 years compared to their 8590.

01:08:13:21 – 01:08:46:09
David Scofield
So that’s why I seek it out. I was like, okay, yeah, sure, I’ll go, Why not? Um, and I got a hold of a place is assisted living. So there’s differences, right, between retirement homes and assisted living homes. And then there’s other stuff too, that are a lot more intense. So assisted living homes are for people that cannot get through their day without some sort of help.

01:08:46:17 – 01:08:54:12
David Scofield
Mm hmm. And then you have more intense stuff where, like, everybody’s got dementia and stuff, like the.

01:08:54:12 – 01:08:57:25
Brad Singletary
Nursing home is missing or way more severe cases.

01:08:57:25 – 01:09:00:13
David Scofield
But right. So this is kind of a in between.

01:09:01:08 – 01:09:03:17
Brad Singletary
Yeah, it looks like an apartment, kind of almost or something.

01:09:03:17 – 01:09:29:26
David Scofield
Yeah, they’ve got like dorms and, and whatnot. But so in going they’re talking to their, um, director, their activities director talking to her. And this was before Father’s Day or something. It was, it was the month before Father’s Day. And she asked me if I had any idea. She’s like, Look, I’m a I’m a, you know, I, I like to do activities and whatnot.

01:09:29:26 – 01:10:19:22
David Scofield
And this is this is my job. So I do. But it’s hard for me to think about stuff for for the guys, for the men. Like, do you have any ideas for these guys? And that’s how it all kind of came to be. I went down there to go talk about times that I could call bingo numbers and it turned into, okay, yeah, let me think of some cool ideas and activities, activities that were more focused on the more focused on the men in in the home, because so through that and talking to some of the people that are there, some of the men that are there, you learn that these guys have done like

01:10:19:25 – 01:10:50:01
David Scofield
it an 80 year old, you know, 85 year old man was around in World War two. And like, I’m I’m talking to guys in this home that are that there’s this one guy that will just forever be in my head, just happy as hell, a real cool dude and real energetic. And he, uh, he was a he was a dive bomber in World War Two.

01:10:50:02 – 01:11:22:11
David Scofield
This man was just dive bombing Nazi ships and the guys here have done really bad stuff. They’ve all done really cool. Like they’ve had a lot of cool life experience and they’ve now they’re in this assisted living home where, like, you know, they can go to a Walmart and like peruse around Walmart once a week and they have like bingo nights and paint nights and, and stuff like this.

01:11:22:11 – 01:11:34:27
David Scofield
And, um, so when she asked me about ideas for men, you know, that got me thinking about, well, what would be it was something I want to do because they’re, they’re no different. Right right.

01:11:34:29 – 01:11:35:26
Brad Singletary
They were all the same.

01:11:35:26 – 01:12:01:15
David Scofield
Shit And I have like, let’s give them, let’s think of something cool for them to experience, to do. So that’s the, the car show thing came up through that and, uh, yeah, I don’t know. Just brought it up to her and I actually brought it up to the Alpha Forum Group. A bunch of the guys in the group came up with some other ideas that we’re going to, you know, that we’ll do for the men’s group.

01:12:02:00 – 01:12:26:18
David Scofield
Um, but it was that was, that was a real cool thing to put together and, and I guess resourcefulness and relationships really came into play with that because I just reached out to anybody. I knew that because I never put on a car show. I don’t know, like I’m not even a huge car guy, like, I like, I love cars, trucks, all that stuff.

01:12:26:18 – 01:12:55:00
David Scofield
But if, if, uh, I don’t know, some classic car drives in front of me, I can name like four or five, you know, but I probably won’t know the year, you know. So just reaching out to people and, and got that, uh, and it was a bunch of people wanting to volunteer their time to, uh, go hang out in a parking lot because it’s really all a car show is, it’s just like, let’s all get our cars together and talk.

01:12:55:10 – 01:13:12:22
David Scofield
And what better thing for a, for a assisted living home to go see all these cars that you, um, Grandma probably did some wild stuff with grandpa in the back of one of those cars, too, You know, just bring some fun memories.

01:13:12:22 – 01:13:19:03
Brad Singletary
These were the hot rods when they were young and stuff. Yeah. That’s so awesome. So how many cars is the end up having there? And do you remember how many?

01:13:19:06 – 01:13:29:23
David Scofield
Oh, I don’t even know. Probably probably somewhere around 20, 30 cars.

01:13:29:23 – 01:13:58:14
Brad Singletary
Dude, that is so cool. So see that I you as you’re talking, I’m remembering something that Taco Mike said I forget what what episode but he but he basically said if you’re not leading out and doing something awesome, you’re missing out. You’re missing out on opportunity. You’re missing out on like, blessing other people’s lives. And here you you’re arranging and helping helping this thing come together because you listen to a podcast, you’re looking for things.

01:13:58:14 – 01:14:16:01
Brad Singletary
You’re looking for inspiration out there. You’re trying to you’re trying to learn about life. Someone suggests it. Go spend time with people that are at the end of their life. And you said, okay, sounds cool. I’ll do. I think that could do for me. So you go out there and you end up spending all this energy and effort to take care of someone else.

01:14:16:13 – 01:14:45:11
Brad Singletary
So not only was this good for the old man and the wheelchairs and then this facility this is good for the people who have the cars. You’ve got 20 or 30 people now. They’re invested in sacrificing time and they probably loved it because they like to show off their, you know, their hotrod, Ford, whatever. And they get to come there and maybe meet with some of their friends and people that they know, the people in the facility, you know, the staff members kind of get a little break maybe because you’re out there kind of handling them for a while.

01:14:45:19 – 01:14:56:02
Brad Singletary
Now that’s turned into something else. Oh, I remember when we announced your Man of the Year award, someone on the Facebook group said he works with you out there. Yeah. Nathan Something, I think. Nathan.

01:14:56:02 – 01:15:04:07
David Scofield
Nathan. Uh, man, I got to feel like a jerk. I think it is. Nathan. Jay Sort of the Jay Forgive me.

01:15:04:07 – 01:15:05:27
Brad Singletary
Jacobson Or something like that, or.

01:15:06:22 – 01:15:32:27
David Scofield
I believe so. Jackson Jason Don’t know. Sorry, man. I know he was. He was super cool. He reached out to me and asked if there’s any way he could help and and so he came out and he helped me with he was actually super cool because I was running all over the place and, you know, and talking to people and like, trying to park people and then trying to get people outside.

01:15:32:27 – 01:15:53:12
David Scofield
And, you know, I was all over the place talking with the director and yada, yada and. He was he was really is super cool to watch because he would go and like someone in a wheelchair, you know, he’d go grab a wheelchair and okay, you know what? What kind of cars out here do you remember? What do you what do you like to see?

01:15:53:12 – 01:16:06:27
David Scofield
What do you want to go check out or whatever it will somebody around chat with them, take pictures with them, forum yada, yada, and then bring them back inside and grab somebody else. And this is super cool to see that. Yeah.

01:16:06:28 – 01:16:11:03
Brad Singletary
Oh, that’s great, man. That’s just, you know.

01:16:12:11 – 01:16:12:17
David Scofield
It.

01:16:13:12 – 01:16:46:25
Brad Singletary
Even before this year. It sounds like you were the type of man who’s just, you know, really worthy of recognition. You’re always just taking care of people, really putting yourself maybe last. I mean, I know it’s it’s it, you know, you’re okay to take a week off work and go out of state with the family and, you know, do some fun things that you enjoy and you don’t mind, you know, spend a little money on yourself, have a have a good time and kind of entertain your wife and and get out there and and enjoy life with so much of your time.

01:16:46:25 – 01:17:07:23
Brad Singletary
Is focused on other people, I’m just convinced that like selflessness and service, that is what’s missing in a lot of men’s lives. Know we’re so self-absorbed, we can think ourselves a victim. We can think, poor me, look at all this stuff that’s happening. Look at what the government is doing. Look at the taxes I have to pay. Look at all this garbage that’s going on.

01:17:07:23 – 01:17:36:04
Brad Singletary
Look at all this political shit. Look at you know how my way is treating me. Look at how my wife isn’t coming through for me. Look at look at all these things. We’ve not talked about any of that. We’re talking about you making decisions, taking action, removing obstacles, work, you know, making incremental improvements. You went from car show to now a recurring men’s group at a place where the men are dying.

01:17:36:04 – 01:17:38:20
Brad Singletary
We’re all we’re all we’re all headed that way anyway.

01:17:39:03 – 01:17:39:13
David Scofield
Right.

01:17:40:04 – 01:17:54:04
Brad Singletary
My man? You’ve got like, you know, you’re 34. Let’s say you’ve got 60 years left. What else you want to do, man? What else? What other kinds of things do you want in your future? And and we’ll wrap this up here.

01:17:54:04 – 01:18:23:22
David Scofield
Um, I don’t know. I, uh. I think I. I just kind of want to continue on the path I’m on and kind of see where it takes me. I guess I’m not. I don’t want to get too wrapped up in the could bes and maybes and in the future. And I really just want to focus on now, you know, that’s great.

01:18:24:02 – 01:18:47:23
Brad Singletary
I’m that kind of person that I can get too carried away with some ideal or some, you know, fantasy thing that I want to do or accomplish and and not live enough in the here and now and in the present. And you’ve just shown that you have this incredible I know you’re not perfect. I know there are things that you probably wouldn’t want people to know about in your life.

01:18:47:23 – 01:19:10:03
Brad Singletary
You know, things that might be embarrassing, things you’re working on, things you’re always trying to improve, but damn, you’re doing good in the world. You know, people that know you the best, they just. They love you to death. You’re just a good, good man. We talk about, you know, an alpha No one really is is an identified alpha.

01:19:10:13 – 01:19:54:04
Brad Singletary
You do alpha. You know, when you’re arranging a big party for old men, that’s some alpha shit. You know, when you’re putting together a nonprofit and organizing an organization here for veterans and people that need healing, and you’re taking people that have never faced much out onto the water, helping them have an experience. You know, when you’re dressing up in a unicorn costume with your daughters, when you are slack lighting or high lighting, when you’re, you know, enjoying music at a festival, um, you’ve done wild and crazy things, too.

01:19:54:14 – 01:20:17:25
Brad Singletary
Those are just alpha moments that you’re just accumulating and you’re just taking advantage of opportunities. We talk about attitude, actions and attributes, and I think the attributes kind of come as a result of attitude and your actions. And what I’ve seen from you, man, I’ve known you for a few years now. What I’ve seen from that is just that it’s just stellar in every way.

01:20:17:25 – 01:20:39:25
Brad Singletary
I’ve been inspired by you. I’ve learned from you. You’re creating a little ripples out there that are just never ending. It’s just never going to end. You’re putting together, you’re putting together that strength, other people’s lives. And I’m just very, very proud to know you. It makes me want to be better. You’re like way younger than me, way better looking.

01:20:39:25 – 01:21:09:06
Brad Singletary
It’s inspiring. It’s inspiring to just to know somebody who’s getting after it. But you’re not all about you’re not even really all about. You’re not you’re not showing off. This is just you understanding the thing about being that we’re all the same, that we’re carrying something inside us. All that is that’s from the same place. It’s from the same material.

01:21:09:06 – 01:21:28:01
Brad Singletary
It’s the same substance exists in all of us. And that’s why you can help the old, you know, the old retired man. That’s why you can, you know, sacrifice some of your time, Just give so much. So in just a small, silly token of appreciation, we’ve got a little bit of swag here for you. A t shirt, a hat.

01:21:28:27 – 01:21:50:27
Brad Singletary
We’ve got this awesome little trophy sort of award. I want to pull it out of this and show you to it is kind of fragile. I dropped when Taco Mike won this, I dropped it and it cracks easy. So you just got to be careful with it. Put it up somewhere safe. But Man of the Year 2022. David Schofield That thing is, I love the look of that.

01:21:50:27 – 01:21:51:15
Brad Singletary
It just kind of.

01:21:51:29 – 01:21:52:23
David Scofield
Yeah, that’s awesome.

01:21:52:23 – 01:22:12:14
Brad Singletary
It just it’s just black. I’ll put a picture of it up. It’s a little black kind of black thing that he’s got his name engraved in there and then some of the African imagery and, and then this, this had this is one of my favorite new designs here is no excuses alpha up. Yeah. And it’s and even if it’s upside down, it’s the same thing.

01:22:12:20 – 01:22:13:25
David Scofield
Oh, yeah, that’s cool.

01:22:14:23 – 01:22:18:08
Brad Singletary
So if you ever get flipped over in your ATV, either.

01:22:18:10 – 01:22:18:16
David Scofield
You.

01:22:20:20 – 01:22:41:09
Brad Singletary
Don’t know what you represent, dude. Davis, Scofield, man, appreciate his go. You’re just a hell of a man. Somebody that inspires me. I really appreciate you coming down after a long week. A long drive yesterday, helping a friend out earlier. Getting here right on time. Just reliable, as always. And I’m just. I feel like my life is better because I’m associated with you.

01:22:41:09 – 01:22:42:19
Brad Singletary
So I really appreciate you, dude.

01:22:42:19 – 01:23:14:09
David Scofield
I appreciate it. And then honestly, the same goes for you. Goes for goes for a lot of this group. But yeah, I’ve I’ve learned a lot, a lot from you and I don’t know that I wouldn’t be where I’m at, honestly, without you, Mike and a lot of the other guys in this group, and I do want to I do want to recognize that most of the guys in our group probably deserve this.

01:23:14:09 – 01:23:36:14
David Scofield
I don’t, I don’t feel like I deserve this award or this recognition or whatever more than anybody else. I think that I think a lot of people deserve it. And equally, I’m proud of a lot of people out there and I don’t know and grateful for for the example that everybody else has set.

01:23:36:20 – 01:23:57:23
Brad Singletary
So I forgot to mention before that SCO also had a podcast before, and that was kind of inspirational to me too, to meet him. And we talked early on I mean, years ago, I mean, three or four years ago, it was about some of the little tips and things. And he’s you know, we talked about sound quality and a lot of things that he had worked out that I hadn’t.

01:23:57:23 – 01:24:15:22
Brad Singletary
And I believe that we’re going to have you on here a whole lot more. And I hope I wish you didn’t live on the other side of the planet from me down here in Henderson. But I’m looking forward to just continuing to learn from you, man, and just see what see how, you know, we can help each other and help other men.

01:24:15:22 – 01:24:38:19
Brad Singletary
So I really appreciate it. You guys, when you have an opportunity to show some love, when you have an opportunity to give and to serve and to be engaged and have a good attitude, take advantage of it. People are going to notice you’re going to have an opportunity to create never ending cycles of good, because can influence your own children.

01:24:38:19 – 01:24:49:14
Brad Singletary
You can influence your wife, be influenced by her people, you work with people around you. So follow the example of David Schofield and have no excuses. Alpha up.

01:24:50:23 – 01:25:02:08
Intro/Outro
Gentlemen, you are the alpha and this is the alpha quorum.

 

Click your podcast platform below or listen to the embedded file on this page.

098: CLEAN FREAK – How to Seize Opportunity (with Ramsey Venner)

098: CLEAN FREAK – How to Seize Opportunity (with Ramsey Venner)

098: CLEAN FREAK – How to Seize Opportunity (with Ramsey Venner)

My guest today is the son of a Colombian immigrant. He lettered in basketball and football at Fresno State University where he was given a full-ride athletic scholarship. He began to get in trouble with the law and spent 9 years in prison for DUIs. In prison, he learned that he was the master of his own attitude and actions. He learned multiple languages and learned how to play the piano.

 

Through his involvement with AA, he has remained sober and turned his life around. He obtained a college degree in business management and now owns three businesses in the Las Vegas area and he is approaching one million dollars in annual sales. He has mastered the art of attitude and is taking actions that help him heal his life and continue living as a devoted family man. He is the father of six children and is the head coach of a 6u tackle football team.

 

FULL TRANSCRIPT
00:00:00:10 – 00:00:02:22
Donald “Butch” Williams
Risky move

00:00:00:00 – 00:00:00:18
Ramsey Venner
Rain in a church.

00:00:00:26 – 00:00:01:25
Brad Singletary
How did you meet the pastor?

00:00:02:10 – 00:00:04:14
Ramsey Venner
He was a client at the beach house.

00:00:04:14 – 00:00:05:07
Brad Singletary
Okay.

00:00:06:02 – 00:00:07:14
Ramsey Venner
I was. I waited on his table.

00:00:08:09 – 00:00:28:04
Brad Singletary
See this? This whole story, man. This whole thing is about opportunity. Yeah. You’re coming out of prison. You’re trying to work. You know you want more. You’re just talking to the guy. Probably being a good waiter, just having friendly conversation. He’s a pastor. Invited you to church. You go there. Rolling your eyes. Maybe not trying to go to church, but you do.

00:00:28:12 – 00:00:28:21
Ramsey Venner
Yeah.

00:00:28:22 – 00:00:30:11
Brad Singletary
And then he gives you an opportunity.

00:00:30:13 – 00:00:30:23
Ramsey Venner
Yeah.

00:00:30:24 – 00:00:34:06
Brad Singletary
And then you capitalize on that. So where did it go from there? Where is your business now?

00:00:34:17 – 00:00:57:24
Ramsey Venner
And we just celebrated our fourth year anniversary. We are up to 17 employees. I’m on my second office. We have bands now that go all over the city, a 24 hour operation. We do residential cleaning and we do residential, commercial and post-construction cleaning. To date, I haven’t spent a dollar on marketing or advertising, and we’re approaching $1,000,000 a year in sales, dude.

00:00:58:11 – 00:01:22:28
Intro
If you’re a man that controls his own destiny, but man, that is always in the pursuit of being better. You are in the right place. You are responsible. You are strong. You are a leader. You are a force for good. Gentlemen, this is the Alpha Quorum.

00:01:26:05 – 00:01:44:06
Brad Singletary
Welcome back to the Alpha Quorum Show, Brad Singletary here. I’m super excited about our guest today. I want to tell you a little bit about him. First of all, he’s 43 years old. He owns three businesses here in Las Vegas. He’s a father of six children. He’s the head coach of a six and under tackle football team.

00:01:45:15 – 00:02:08:03
Brad Singletary
He has a college degree in business administration, lettered in football and basketball at Fresno State University. Out of high school, he got a full ride offer between college and when he started his businesses. He spent nine years in prison. We’re going to talk about his journey and the ways that he’s turned himself around. These are the best kind of stories.

00:02:08:03 – 00:02:29:00
Brad Singletary
This is the best kind of man that I know, 43 year old dad who’s just out there getting it done, making big things happen in business, has a beautiful wife, a beautiful family working on a beautiful business. It’s multiple businesses that these guys are operating. We’re going to have him share some of that with us. Gentlemen, please welcome Ramsey Venter.

00:02:29:14 – 00:02:31:00
Ramsey Venner
To serve in the building.

00:02:31:15 – 00:02:33:00
Brad Singletary
Dude, good to have you here.

00:02:33:00 – 00:02:40:09
Ramsey Venner
Good man. This is a pleasure. It’s a pleasure. It’s a blessing. Thanks for the opportunity. And, yeah, man, I’m. I’m. I’m ready to get into it.

00:02:40:10 – 00:02:48:08
Brad Singletary
We’ll get it. We’ll get a picture. They’ll have a view of you from the from the little cover graphic. But, dude, how tall are you?

00:02:48:08 – 00:03:00:18
Ramsey Venner
I’m six, six one. I was in plan weight. I think I was like 285 to 90. If I stay away from the donuts, I can get it like a slim to 76.

00:03:00:18 – 00:03:04:15
Ramsey Venner
And I’m you know so as we go.

00:03:04:19 – 00:03:08:27
Brad Singletary
So Fresno State play football at Fresno State. Derek Carr went to Fresno State.

00:03:08:27 – 00:03:29:06
Ramsey Venner
Right, sir? I play with the car. I play with Michael Pittman. I play with a lot of dudes, man. Bernard Berrien, Charles Smith, Anthony Lambrecht, man. I just the list goes on to some some real solid cars, guys, that made a lot of noise in the NFL. And just, you know, a lot of us are still brothers today.

00:03:29:16 – 00:03:56:20
Ramsey Venner
That’s a mars and still my brother, man, we chop it up on a on a regular he’s actually pushing a really good program up in the bay are like I think Stockton California type area and he’s a defensive coordinator or DB coach for Key Central Coast or something like that. I’m not sure. But yeah man, I got a solid, solid crew around me and you know, I come from a pedigree of of amazing, amazing people, man.

00:03:56:22 – 00:04:01:15
Ramsey Venner
Pat Hill was my coach at Fresno State. I even played under Coach Jerry Tarkanian.

00:04:01:19 – 00:04:02:09
Ramsey Venner
Wow.

00:04:02:10 – 00:04:06:14
Ramsey Venner
Yeah. I walked onto the basketball team.

00:04:07:02 – 00:04:20:07
Brad Singletary
So in in your coaching, we talked a little bit before the show. You’re coaching your son’s six year old football team, the Henderson Cowboys. My son was on that team in the six you team and they won the national championship.

00:04:20:07 – 00:04:21:22
Ramsey Venner
In the championship?

00:04:21:29 – 00:04:28:02
Brad Singletary
Yeah. They were down in San Diego all weekend tournament and yeah, he got a ring and everything. Man, it was pretty that, that.

00:04:28:11 – 00:04:30:01
Ramsey Venner
That’s big shoes to fill, but it’s.

00:04:30:01 – 00:04:34:23
Brad Singletary
An elite team that was like, what, eight years ago now? So yeah, now good times. That stuff is fun.

00:04:35:00 – 00:04:53:05
Ramsey Venner
Listen, I went out there trying to do, you know, just the game silo involved. And the idea was, you know, I was going to but I’m just not a sideline dude. And I sat out there and I was watching the coaches and like, you know, kind of seeing him lose his way. He started playing with bugs in grass, and I’m like.

00:04:53:12 – 00:04:53:21
Ramsey Venner
I got.

00:04:53:21 – 00:05:16:15
Ramsey Venner
To get my dude involved. So, you know, I volunteered to coach on a seven year team because they had all as soon as I got out there and the director of our program saw that, you know, I had a little taste for trying to do something more with the kids. He was like, Yeah, so we’re going to start up at six. You and you are going to be the color coach. And I was like damn it.

00:05:16:22 – 00:05:20:02
Brad Singletary
I bet they love it. I bet you’re good at it. I mean, how you doing this year? How you started.

00:05:20:02 – 00:05:50:16
Ramsey Venner
Playing the first game yesterday? And we, we, we, we took on the first one, but it gave us a lot to work with when I’ve never been a head coach before and learning the rules, you know, it’s eight on eight. Yeah. That the key the other team we were trying to, you know, respect the rules of football and we’re going to have, you know, our linebackers stand back and play their position. And these dudes lined up six people on the line and blitzed every play. And I was like, That ain’t football. But yeah, we’ve got a lot of work to do, so we’re going to get it right.

00:05:51:05 – 00:05:59:13
Brad Singletary
So you went to college, played some ball, both football and basketball at Fresno State. You’re you’re running three businesses now. Tell us about those.

00:06:00:04 – 00:06:20:01
Ramsey Venner
Yeah. So, man, 2018, I came to Las Vegas and you know, it was a long, bumpy road. I lived in Reno before that and I was getting in trouble in Reno. And now for transparency, I went to prison a bunch of times for, you know, DUIs. And this I was trying to find my way. And I couldn’t I couldn’t get it right.

00:06:20:01 – 00:07:14:27
Ramsey Venner
I couldn’t last one of the things I joke about with my wife now is that I used to always just listen. If I could get through the summer. If I could get through the summer, then you know it’s going to be all good. Right? And that’s how low the ceiling was for me for a minute. Boy, like all I just wanted to do is if I could just get through one summer of just, you know, not being a knucklehead, then that’s going to be a good summer for me. Or it might be a good year, really. That’s that was, by my calculation, I’m so 2018. I came to Las Vegas. I was tired of getting in trouble in Reno. I put my my head down. I started as a server for Kings Fish House right here in Henderson. I worked at Kings Beach House as a server, working my way up to a trainer, got promoted into management. It was actually my first management job and the entire time, I mean, like this was coming off of a seven year skid.

00:07:14:27 – 00:08:26:14
Ramsey Venner
Well, like I was away for a minute, right and got into the world. And I just say, you know, with that being my life previous, anything outside of that I’ll take it. I didn’t care about how long I worked. I didn’t care about how much I made really. I didn’t I was just like anything to not be, you know, in that box, in that situation, in that, you know, eight by ten room with another grown man like that’s going to be a better life for me. And legit man. I just, I poured into the job. I let them pour into me. They gave me, you know, so much insight and understanding about how to be you know, in a position of leadership and how to, you know, work with people and manage schedules and like, I just was like I so everything I could in I started my first business going for janitorial. June 18th, 2018, like about six months out, I was just so eager to be in business for myself, you know, it was a side hustle, but I was like, I know if I came, I could just keep at it.

00:08:26:14 – 00:08:42:22
Ramsey Venner
If I could just keep at it, it’s going to be all right. It’s just I need to start something. And and we started out doing a couple of residential spots up here in Henderson, and the guy had like three real, real nice houses, five, six bedroom houses over there off of Warm Springs and but he had house packed and we’re all of the different people that lived in there.

00:08:49:04 – 00:08:50:13
Ramsey Venner
Didn’t know any of the other people.

00:08:50:27 – 00:08:52:23
Brad Singletary
All like separate units in there.

00:08:52:23 – 00:09:07:12
Ramsey Venner
So yeah, yeah, yeah. But there was like it’s just bedrooms. So basically we took that and turned it into, you know, he wanted me to do two common areas and my only request was I think at first I didn’t know how to bid. I didn’t know how much work was involved. I didn’t know if it was going to be a good look.

00:09:07:22 – 00:09:23:17
Ramsey Venner
I just said, Listen, can you put the name clean for janitorial? Lemme check. So I cared about bro, send the checks and a check to the company. And he was like, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he’s getting over on me. I mean, I’m telling you, I did.

00:09:24:17 – 00:09:25:19
Brad Singletary
You got took, bro.

00:09:25:19 – 00:09:26:29
Ramsey Venner
I got I got sick for a while.

00:09:26:29 – 00:09:33:20
Ramsey Venner
Right, right. And I used to get dude, I mean, the trash would be stacked up to trash cans because everybody’s walking by each other.

00:09:33:20 – 00:09:48:21
Ramsey Venner
They don’t know each other in the house like you in a regular family is a dynamic way. We’re not going to leave the house looking like this or, you know, if everybody’s nasty in a family, that’s the family. But like, usually if there’s a mom, there’s a dad or somebody saying, don’t leave the house, like just pick up your clothes.

00:09:48:29 – 00:09:58:07
Ramsey Venner
There was none of that in this place, right? So there’s some people maybe smoking weed in the living room. Some people, you know what I mean? Trash in the bathroom is a female. That’s a stripper.

00:09:58:07 – 00:10:02:15
Ramsey Venner
It is a it was sure it was a situation.

00:10:02:15 – 00:10:05:10
Brad Singletary
Where you doing the in the beginning you’re doing the clean every day.

00:10:05:23 – 00:10:22:22
Ramsey Venner
You know, I showed up in this house and, you know, put my gloves on and I’m cleaning common areas like sweep, mop restrooms, the worst of the worst. Right. And taking out the trash, cleaning the kids and getting a greasy stove. Everything blow out the microwave, everything. Didn’t care. And this is after.

00:10:22:22 – 00:10:29:06
Ramsey Venner
Doing a six, seven, eight hour day working. Then after I got promoted to manager, a 14 hour.

00:10:29:06 – 00:10:30:18
Ramsey Venner
Day working and then.

00:10:30:21 – 00:10:38:01
Brad Singletary
Oh, you working at the fish house. Yeah. For a full time job. Yeah. And then you run in this little business. Of course. Now you clean up people’s bathrooms at night.

00:10:38:22 – 00:10:44:20
Ramsey Venner
Bro, like, or somebody in the morning early or Sunday morning early. Yeah, whatever it took and.

00:10:46:01 – 00:11:00:07
Ramsey Venner
Just started talking to my clients while I was there. I was talking my, you know, anybody I could and I was telling them about, you know, my, my, my dream to start another, another business or this little small business that I got going. I don’t know how to get clients, but, you know, look, this is this is what we could do for a year.

00:11:00:08 – 00:11:19:11
Ramsey Venner
This is what I want to do, you know, give us a shot, give me an opportunity. And I got a couple of, like the regular clients that I had. They gave me that side. And I ended up talking to senior pastor Vance Pittman from Hope Church. Great guy, my brother. To this day, I’m talking about my my legit like I feel we’re kindred spirits like me.

00:11:19:11 – 00:11:23:21
Ramsey Venner
And you bro. Like I say, same same vibe where I met him.

00:11:24:13 – 00:11:27:20
Ramsey Venner
You know, totally. Like, it just was like. It was like good chemistry.

00:11:27:21 – 00:11:28:00
Ramsey Venner
Mm.

00:11:28:11 – 00:11:39:03
Ramsey Venner
He’s got a beautiful family. I didn’t even know how big of a dude like. Like in relation to who he was, right? It just he was like, yeah, I’m a part of a church. And I was like, Oh, damn.

00:11:39:03 – 00:11:39:26
Ramsey Venner
That’s good, bro.

00:11:39:26 – 00:11:40:28
Ramsey Venner
And like, you know.

00:11:40:28 – 00:11:52:15
Ramsey Venner
Jesus was like, I met him before I heard him. I think there’s a book about him or something, you know, like this. I was giving it up for him in that regard.

00:11:52:15 – 00:11:54:05
Ramsey Venner
And then I talked to him. He was like, I’m.

00:11:55:09 – 00:11:56:15
Ramsey Venner
Well, look, man, you know.

00:11:57:01 – 00:12:06:29
Ramsey Venner
I said, maybe answer one. You got to come to church. I said, okay, but so I came down and checked by the church and, you know, he was like, How did you like service the next time I saw me? And I was like, it was dope. I was like, I.

00:12:07:13 – 00:12:08:23
Ramsey Venner
I know I’m, you know.

00:12:09:23 – 00:12:16:25
Ramsey Venner
All right. I’ll tell you, I’m like I did in Haiti, and that’s all I had. And he was like, I’m, I’m, I’m will probably introduce you to.

00:12:16:25 – 00:12:17:06
Ramsey Venner
Lou.

00:12:17:18 – 00:12:23:28
Ramsey Venner
Or our facilities guy over there and you know, I don’t know if anything is going to come of it. Just talk to him. So I met.

00:12:23:28 – 00:12:25:06
Ramsey Venner
Him, talked to him.

00:12:25:25 – 00:12:44:21
Ramsey Venner
And nothing happened from from right off but he was another guy vibed with real tough. And actually to this day he’s still my mentor and but you know, I met him, talked to him and, you know, told my my desire was to be in business for myself. And, you know, I didn’t have a family. And I have like I was dating a girl.

00:12:44:21 – 00:12:58:26
Ramsey Venner
That’s all I had. And he was like, Oh, I’m so this is a big job, man. You know what I mean? It’s not a small place. I require this and I require that. I said, Well, I got nothing else going on, man. So whatever you require, I’m a do it. And that was it, you know what I mean?

00:12:58:26 – 00:13:02:11
Ramsey Venner
I was like, That’s it. And that’s my attitude towards it. Like he’s like, killer. He was like, What.

00:13:02:11 – 00:13:03:06
Ramsey Venner
Are you will? You know.

00:13:03:06 – 00:13:20:10
Ramsey Venner
What about your other gig? I would say, I’ll handle it. That’s on me to worry about. If you give me the opportunity, I’m going to do whatever it is that you need. I am legit. It took about five months where I didn’t hear anything. I kept calling, I kept checking back and I. Yeah, we haven’t done anything. We haven’t decided.

00:13:20:10 – 00:13:33:03
Ramsey Venner
I’m gonna give this guy a chance. And I’m, you know, the express that he was having some kind of bouts with this current provider. But as I’ve gotten in the business, I learned is something that, you know, happens. You take your eyes off the ball, take your eyes off the prize, and you know.

00:13:33:11 – 00:13:34:15
Ramsey Venner
It can get where.

00:13:34:24 – 00:13:37:04
Ramsey Venner
Your clients are, wondering how important they are to you.

00:13:37:13 – 00:13:38:05
Ramsey Venner
Right? Yeah.

00:13:38:11 – 00:13:54:03
Ramsey Venner
So, yeah, that was going on. It took a bunch of months. I kept working at the first house, I started getting other little clients and then one day I got a call and he was like, Hey, so come on over here. I want to talk to you about something. And I was like, and listen.

00:13:54:17 – 00:13:55:13
Ramsey Venner
Today, you know, I.

00:13:55:13 – 00:14:23:03
Ramsey Venner
Made a couple like 100 bucks here, 100 bucks there, but it wasn’t like anything super significant. It was like I had a couple of people that were dialing my number on a regular and enough to where, you know, it even started interfering with work a little bit like I’m getting because now I’ve learned how to put out my ads or I’ve made up a little flier or something saying, you know, come check me out or we’re we’re doing a special for spring cleaning.

00:14:23:08 – 00:14:37:03
Ramsey Venner
Anything, you mean? Little thing that I can’t cause I’m trying to build my business. Anyway, at one point he was like, Yeah, come on over here and let’s talk about it. So I get over there and I talk to him and he’s like, you know, you think you can handle this? And I was like.

00:14:37:19 – 00:14:38:01
Ramsey Venner
Well.

00:14:39:10 – 00:14:56:07
Ramsey Venner
There’s nothing that’s going to stop me from giving you everything that I got if my best is not good enough. And that’s going to be the only thing because I’m gonna give you my best. And, you know, he basically told me that, you know, we’re going to give you the opportunity. Do you have your paperwork in place? And I need it, my insurance and my, you know, licenses.

00:14:56:16 – 00:15:01:16
Ramsey Venner
I had everything in place at this point. And yeah, that was like one of my first big ones. And to this.

00:15:01:16 – 00:15:03:19
Brad Singletary
Day, you appreciate that you’re cleaning the church.

00:15:03:24 – 00:15:06:15
Ramsey Venner
Brandon The church, dude. I mean, in the church.

00:15:06:16 – 00:15:07:19
Brad Singletary
Well, how did you meet the pastor?

00:15:08:02 – 00:15:10:17
Ramsey Venner
He was a he was a client at the first house.

00:15:10:17 – 00:15:11:01
Brad Singletary
Okay.

00:15:11:06 – 00:15:13:09
Ramsey Venner
So I was I waited on this table.

00:15:14:04 – 00:15:19:09
Brad Singletary
See this this whole story, man, I’m see, I can already see it shaping up. This whole thing is about opportunity.

00:15:19:14 – 00:15:20:07
Ramsey Venner
Yeah, you’re.

00:15:20:07 – 00:15:35:20
Brad Singletary
Coming out of prison, you’re trying to work. You know, you want more, you’re just talking to the guy. Probably being a good waiter, just having a friendly conversation. He’s a pastor, invited you to church. You go there, rolling your eyes, maybe not trying to go to church, but you do.

00:15:35:28 – 00:15:36:08
Ramsey Venner
Yeah.

00:15:36:08 – 00:15:37:28
Brad Singletary
And then he gives you an opportunity.

00:15:37:28 – 00:15:38:10
Ramsey Venner
Yeah.

00:15:38:11 – 00:15:42:24
Brad Singletary
And then you. And then you then capitalize on that. So where do you go from there? Where where’s your business now?

00:15:42:24 – 00:16:12:00
Ramsey Venner
This is I mean, we’re our fourth year and we just celebrated our fourth year anniversary. 2018 to 2000 is 22. Yeah, yeah. June 18th we celebrated our fourth year in business. We are up to 17 employees. I’m on my second office. We have vans now that go all over the city. We have a 24 hour operation. We do residential cleaning and we do residential, commercial and post-construction cleaning.

00:16:12:00 – 00:16:29:06
Ramsey Venner
We do like like if they go and build a building from the ground up, we’re the people that touch it last before they hand the keys over to the owners. Okay, so we do that. And then one of the things that I’m the most proud of, what it is allowed me to launch my third business, which is blueprints to janitorial success.

00:16:29:11 – 00:16:29:20
Ramsey Venner
Okay.

00:16:29:29 – 00:16:46:02
Ramsey Venner
Now, in those four years, every lesson that I’ve learned, every tape and trick on how to be the best, you know, playing service in the world, you know, reputation. I haven’t to date, I haven’t spent a dollar in marketing or advertising and we’re approaching $1,000,000 a year in sales.

00:16:46:05 – 00:16:49:14
Ramsey Venner
Dude, no. See this?

00:16:49:29 – 00:17:03:06
Brad Singletary
I mean, you got every excuse in the book. Yeah, you got every excuse in the book to just be super average, you know what I mean? Because I’m guessing with the legal background and stuff that makes that was was that a limiting factor with the jobs and stuff coming out?

00:17:04:10 – 00:17:08:24
Ramsey Venner
I mean, a lot of people say that, bro. So I, I don’t know, I.

00:17:08:24 – 00:17:15:27
Ramsey Venner
Just I never accept that as a reality. Right. Of course, you know, I just it just never was my reality. It just I’d.

00:17:15:27 – 00:17:16:15
Ramsey Venner
Never.

00:17:16:29 – 00:17:28:06
Ramsey Venner
I’m a felon. I’ve been a felon for a lot of years. I got jobs every opportunity that I was like from 2000. And I see I started getting in trouble in like 2000.

00:17:28:29 – 00:17:31:12
Brad Singletary
So you just ignored that whole notion.

00:17:31:24 – 00:17:32:10
Ramsey Venner
Why you.

00:17:32:10 – 00:17:32:27
Brad Singletary
Can’t do it?

00:17:33:27 – 00:17:34:22
Ramsey Venner
Well, why accept it?

00:17:34:23 – 00:17:40:20
Ramsey Venner
So tell me that. Why accept it? Why? I say because somebody told me that that’s what I am, that I have to accept that.

00:17:40:21 – 00:17:42:26
Ramsey Venner
Like why?

00:17:43:22 – 00:17:53:15
Ramsey Venner
Because if I accept that label, then I accept everything that comes with it. Oh, yeah, I’m a felon. I’m an ex-felon. I can’t get a job. I can’t be regular. I can’t do anything but continue to get in trouble with crime.

00:17:53:23 – 00:18:00:07
Ramsey Venner
Nah, that’s not how I want to live. I’ve been in a box. I didn’t like it. No, I didn’t like it. It wasn’t cool. Somebody telling me.

00:18:00:19 – 00:18:21:28
Ramsey Venner
You know, the word, the. The most emasculating thing about prison, bro. The most emasculating thing about prison. And as a man, I don’t know if it just is like the same or to deal, but they they try to break you down on day one when you’re there and you got to do the strip out, you know, because they take your clothes or whatever and they hand you somebody else’s underwear, bro.

00:18:22:19 – 00:18:28:25
Ramsey Venner
Somebody else’s. Like these are the underwear that you’re going to. We’re going forward. This is your uniform. This is your new outfit. You follow.

00:18:28:25 – 00:18:29:02
Ramsey Venner
Me.

00:18:29:02 – 00:18:29:19
Brad Singletary
Right?

00:18:30:27 – 00:18:35:21
Ramsey Venner
Yeah, it’ll touch you. Broke it does something to your spirit.

00:18:35:21 – 00:18:38:09
Brad Singletary
Like you don’t get to choose what kind of drowsy.

00:18:38:09 – 00:18:55:06
Ramsey Venner
We’re going to choose. You just don’t wear that. What would you mean? I don’t wear. Didn’t that earns you feel me like they gave me the bad man draws here bro put these on and this is what you or nothing right? They that touch.

00:18:55:06 – 00:18:56:22
Ramsey Venner
Me, bro. That too. And every.

00:18:56:22 – 00:18:57:20
Ramsey Venner
Time you go in here.

00:18:58:21 – 00:19:21:01
Ramsey Venner
Because I win a couple times, I wasn’t like I didn’t learn from it. Like I didn’t get serious time where I thought because it was a DUI, this isn’t that bad. This is, you know, a super serious thing. I’m not robbing people. I’m not out here being a criminal. Criminal? Yeah, I just I got caught drinking and driving, but I had a judge, Judge Brant Adams in the arena.

00:19:22:27 – 00:19:24:23
Ramsey Venner
Him and his prosecutor.

00:19:25:08 – 00:19:26:01
Ramsey Venner
They gave me.

00:19:26:19 – 00:19:34:17
Ramsey Venner
Bro. I remember when I got when I got the time, they changed my life, it making me emotional because it’s like.

00:19:35:16 – 00:19:37:03
Ramsey Venner
They hit me with a bar I had.

00:19:37:03 – 00:19:45:24
Ramsey Venner
Never, like, ever heard before, right? So my lawyer was a paid attorney and I thought I was in good hands and I was like, you know, he came.

00:19:46:17 – 00:19:49:17
Ramsey Venner
When he story came in in the little room before.

00:19:50:00 – 00:19:55:01
Ramsey Venner
Before I went out to get my sentencing. All right, I’m going to look. It’s all good. So we got.

00:19:55:01 – 00:19:55:10
Ramsey Venner
You.

00:19:55:22 – 00:20:08:24
Ramsey Venner
Home. We got all of your letters from your family, and we got all of the information that you gave us about a ten and a and we know that you’re working right now and we see that you’re trying hard. Listen, I’ve talked to the judge. I had previous dealings with him.

00:20:09:14 – 00:20:17:02
Ramsey Venner
This is not this was this a his daughter? Listen, we.

00:20:17:02 – 00:20:18:19
Ramsey Venner
Got relations outside of this.

00:20:18:28 – 00:20:20:24
Ramsey Venner
So he knows.

00:20:21:19 – 00:20:42:05
Ramsey Venner
If I back somebody, then he’s really a good dude. You know, maybe he said you’re going to be okay. Listen, I talked to him and I talked to the prosecutor. No, I went out there. This guy ran this whole thing about, yeah, Mr. Green is working. And, you know, it would be a super detriment to his family. I mean, he’s got a young daughter and right now and, you know, he was the guy that sent away.

00:20:42:05 – 00:20:44:10
Ramsey Venner
His daughter wouldn’t have the benefit.

00:20:44:10 – 00:20:59:10
Ramsey Venner
Of of growing up with her father. And she’s in the critical years of her life. And he lives so hard on that. That was a time his daughter had had some kind of a issue and the judge was there and supported him through his daughter’s issues. So he felt.

00:20:59:10 – 00:21:01:16
Ramsey Venner
Like why relating.

00:21:02:05 – 00:21:11:23
Ramsey Venner
My defense to my daughter, that would tender the judge to give me some kind of favor wherever his play was. Right, right, right.

00:21:11:23 – 00:21:17:25
Ramsey Venner
But he said that rested his case. And then then the D.A. stood up. He said.

00:21:19:12 – 00:21:24:13
Ramsey Venner
Yeah, we heard about Mr. Vinter and his daughter. And, you know how it’d be such a terrible.

00:21:24:13 – 00:21:30:18
Ramsey Venner
Thing when if he was to go away. And I just like to have you take.

00:21:30:18 – 00:21:48:00
Ramsey Venner
A look at Mr. Vendor. Mr. Brennan, if you don’t mind standing up. And I’m like, I stand up and he’s like, you know, like 66, 275, maybe the paperwork here says he’s like £280. You say, Your Honor.

00:21:48:17 – 00:21:49:24
Ramsey Venner
I would be a shame.

00:21:50:13 – 00:21:55:00
Ramsey Venner
If I was that big. And I tried to hide behind a little girl.

00:21:55:00 – 00:22:11:27
Ramsey Venner
I said, Bro, it went downhill with skis over me. Just let me have it, man. Is guy that it that I was the worst being sister you know what I mean? Like I’m talking about he’s.

00:22:11:27 – 00:22:28:14
Ramsey Venner
Like and here’s the he said the thing with DUIs, Your Honor, is that we don’t know who the vic and that kind of hit hard. Right. He was like, you know, if he was a robber, if he was a vic, you know what I mean? We’d have the person, you know, that could point out say he did this, you said.

00:22:28:14 – 00:22:37:14
Ramsey Venner
But when this guy makes the choice to get alcohol in his system and get behind, you know, a 20 £500 vehicle and drive crazy.

00:22:38:14 – 00:22:41:21
Ramsey Venner
We don’t know who he can hurt. We don’t know who he could kill. You don’t know who.

00:22:41:21 – 00:22:50:25
Ramsey Venner
You stared on the freeway. You know what I mean? That just because you were swerving and you did something bad. Yeah, I’m poor, my heart. Out to you right now, bro, because it’s like.

00:22:52:03 – 00:22:53:29
Ramsey Venner
That line.

00:22:55:14 – 00:23:03:06
Ramsey Venner
It resonated with. I thought about my parents, my mom, my dad, anything, my loved ones, you know.

00:23:03:07 – 00:23:04:27
Ramsey Venner
Even being in a life and out.

00:23:04:27 – 00:23:09:07
Ramsey Venner
There like you don’t think about it, somebody swerving and just.

00:23:09:13 – 00:23:11:26
Ramsey Venner
Pick a mass you and just wreck your life.

00:23:11:26 – 00:23:14:04
Ramsey Venner
Don’t wreck your.

00:23:14:04 – 00:23:19:24
Ramsey Venner
Life without you know, you have an anyway you’re not in the wrong and this thing happens to you.

00:23:19:24 – 00:23:27:25
Ramsey Venner
Because somebody else made bad choices. And when that happened to me, I said that whatever came with it and some came with it too.

00:23:28:03 – 00:23:36:27
Ramsey Venner
Yeah, he had in me time like it was sitting around by his jacket. Jimmy He gave me a 6 to 15 year sentence. Wow.

00:23:37:01 – 00:23:59:02
Ramsey Venner
No accident, no death. No person got hurt. This. I came in front of the same judge too many times. 6 to 15 years. He said, look, he said 75 to 120 months. That’s how to give you time. MARINO Right. To 120 months, bro. Like.

00:23:59:27 – 00:24:02:20
Ramsey Venner
I can’t even like I’m like, what are you.

00:24:02:20 – 00:24:05:00
Brad Singletary
Doing, man? You got to do some math for me.

00:24:05:00 – 00:24:11:15
Ramsey Venner
Wait, what is this guy talking to me, bro? Like, are you sick? So anyway, that happened. Well.

00:24:12:11 – 00:24:13:15
Ramsey Venner
Know what I mean?

00:24:13:16 – 00:24:21:21
Brad Singletary
I seems like even in that though, you had a decent attitude about it, like you’re saying, you just accepted whatever, whatever it was.

00:24:22:05 – 00:24:36:05
Ramsey Venner
Well, I mean, at that point, you know, I’ve seen the Court TV shows when you when you go jump over the fence and, you know, try to run up out of here, it was like that or. Yeah. And then so at this.

00:24:36:05 – 00:24:38:19
Ramsey Venner
Size, 62, 52, 70.

00:24:39:10 – 00:24:40:01
Ramsey Venner
I know me and.

00:24:40:01 – 00:24:43:14
Ramsey Venner
The police, if I ever fight them, it’s not going to.

00:24:43:14 – 00:24:44:25
Ramsey Venner
Be a good look for you, boy. Right?

00:24:44:25 – 00:25:05:02
Ramsey Venner
Right. They’re going to call all the cops there and it’s night. So I’ve always been respectful. Actually, my mom taught me that because she used to be a Harris County sheriff in West Palm Beach. Well, so always been respectful, always like had decent rapport. I understand he’s doing a job and if I wasn’t in the wrong myself, why would me in this do being constantly right?

00:25:05:10 – 00:25:26:17
Ramsey Venner
You know what I mean? We’re only in conflict because I’m choosing to be a knucklehead on this day. So I never took that stance that, you know, I’m f the police or you know what I mean? Like, I mean, that’s the way it’s gotten now. That’s, that’s totally different. But like, as it related to my personal situation, I never felt like the cops were just the problem previously.

00:25:27:04 – 00:25:29:19
Ramsey Venner
Now, it’s a little crazy to what’s going on in the world right now.

00:25:30:19 – 00:25:53:18
Brad Singletary
I, you know, I started my career in behavioral health, working around like the justice, some of the folks in the justice system, juvenile justice and adult probation and parole and stuff. And you definitely think different than a lot of those guys. And I wonder if that’s something you developed or you’ve always been there. You know, a lot of them, frankly, are psychopaths, you know, not sociopathic.

00:25:53:18 – 00:26:09:28
Brad Singletary
There’s no empathy. They don’t really care even in what you’re talking about. You know, you’re saying you were you were affected by the things that were being said by the prosecuting attorney. And like, I don’t know, you just your your mind is different than a lot of those cats. You know, you you spend a lot of time with them.

00:26:10:00 – 00:26:16:13
Brad Singletary
Yeah. How is it different? What did you do? You have to shape yourself as this maturing that you’ve done, which I’m sure you have, obviously.

00:26:16:19 – 00:26:44:06
Ramsey Venner
I mean, I feel the plight, right? I feel I feel I feel the struggle. I mean, I’m aware and I study. I mean, you can see in black and white if you study history, American history, the you know, the United States government through like the the New Deal, they subsidized they subsidized the destruction of the family and and.

00:26:44:06 – 00:26:44:20
Ramsey Venner
Mainly.

00:26:44:20 – 00:26:52:26
Ramsey Venner
Poor families. Because if you get the mom out or you get the you compensate the mom for having more kids.

00:26:53:07 – 00:26:55:01
Ramsey Venner
But take the money away.

00:26:55:01 – 00:26:57:14
Ramsey Venner
If there’s a male around, then you replace.

00:26:57:14 – 00:26:58:26
Ramsey Venner
The male with the state.

00:26:59:29 – 00:27:01:09
Ramsey Venner
Which has like.

00:27:01:10 – 00:27:03:13
Ramsey Venner
Tremendous, tremendous.

00:27:03:13 – 00:27:16:17
Ramsey Venner
Ramifications, negative ramifications for the family structure. The family structure is demolished because of things that we thought were benefits for the poor and disenfranchized. Right.

00:27:16:27 – 00:27:17:26
Ramsey Venner
But it’s not the case.

00:27:18:28 – 00:27:20:17
Brad Singletary
I love what you’re saying. I’m glad you’re saying it.

00:27:20:17 – 00:27:22:29
Ramsey Venner
Absolutely not the case. All of those things.

00:27:22:29 – 00:27:27:21
Ramsey Venner
Those programs that there are I mean, there’s a certain sect of the population that you should say, yes.

00:27:27:21 – 00:27:28:04
Ramsey Venner
Sir.

00:27:28:05 – 00:27:35:24
Ramsey Venner
You’re down on your luck right now. Here, let me give you a hand. But when you have generational welfare, generational people on food stamps, and.

00:27:35:24 – 00:27:38:16
Ramsey Venner
They never think to get out of it, because.

00:27:38:16 – 00:27:41:19
Ramsey Venner
This is how it’s always been.

00:27:41:19 – 00:27:42:05
Ramsey Venner
And you.

00:27:42:05 – 00:27:43:09
Ramsey Venner
Normalize all of the.

00:27:43:09 – 00:27:44:09
Ramsey Venner
Things that are negative.

00:27:44:13 – 00:27:48:06
Ramsey Venner
Normalize drug dealing. We normalize hustling, we normalize, you know.

00:27:48:22 – 00:27:52:15
Ramsey Venner
The idols are not the person that’s going to work.

00:27:52:21 – 00:27:56:08
Ramsey Venner
These cracked on and made jokes up. Right. You got that job, man.

00:27:56:09 – 00:27:57:14
Ramsey Venner
Yeah. Yeah.

00:27:57:17 – 00:28:01:14
Ramsey Venner
Going over there to be a slave for them. People. I got my check coming.

00:28:01:24 – 00:28:13:21
Ramsey Venner
But you don’t realize when you when you take on that idea, that mentality, you’ve relegated yourself to too unimportant forever. You are. You are. See?

00:28:14:23 – 00:28:16:29
Ramsey Venner
Put in a place in a box, in a position where you.

00:28:16:29 – 00:28:22:10
Ramsey Venner
Are controlled by the people that you know you are most at odds with in your own mind.

00:28:22:25 – 00:28:33:05
Ramsey Venner
Well, I think I’ve heard I heard a guy say and I might have been a Wall Street chopper. I follow him on social media, so I trap yo. He said.

00:28:34:10 – 00:28:35:26
Ramsey Venner
If you let them feed you.

00:28:36:14 – 00:28:39:29
Ramsey Venner
You can’t be mad when they take the food away.

00:28:39:29 – 00:28:47:23
Ramsey Venner
Right. And what that means, go is like whatever it is that you’re putting out there, you think that you’re getting.

00:28:47:23 – 00:28:51:19
Ramsey Venner
Over by not having to go to work and you got somebody that’s a comedy in your life.

00:28:51:27 – 00:29:05:12
Ramsey Venner
You are 100% under the thumb of the guys that you say are prissy. You are, except in that oppression. So I’ve never, you know, in the struggle, I can see how you.

00:29:05:12 – 00:29:05:23
Ramsey Venner
Got to.

00:29:05:23 – 00:29:13:01
Ramsey Venner
Where you’re at. I can see why we are where we are. And now that I can see it, I can’t accept it.

00:29:13:02 – 00:29:14:27
Ramsey Venner
That’s the way I’m supposed to continue.

00:29:14:27 – 00:29:15:11
Ramsey Venner
To act.

00:29:15:11 – 00:29:15:23
Ramsey Venner
Because I.

00:29:15:23 – 00:29:19:24
Ramsey Venner
Realize you act the way you do because you are following a.

00:29:19:24 – 00:29:21:00
Ramsey Venner
Script that was designed.

00:29:21:00 – 00:29:23:13
Ramsey Venner
For you, not by you before you.

00:29:23:25 – 00:29:24:26
Brad Singletary
Oh, it’s interesting.

00:29:25:07 – 00:29:26:01
Ramsey Venner
Come on. Now, listen.

00:29:26:01 – 00:29:26:09
Ramsey Venner
To who’s.

00:29:26:09 – 00:29:26:23
Brad Singletary
Designing the.

00:29:26:23 – 00:29:39:00
Ramsey Venner
Script. Who’s this? Right, right, right. Who’s designing the script? Because when you think about it, there’s media companies, there’s music industry. And the things that.

00:29:39:00 – 00:29:40:13
Ramsey Venner
Get on that we are able.

00:29:40:13 – 00:29:50:27
Ramsey Venner
To listen to. The programing that we do have is just that. It’s programing. It’s programing. If you don’t even.

00:29:51:15 – 00:29:54:26
Ramsey Venner
Like the song, but you hear the song so many times.

00:29:55:08 – 00:29:55:19
Ramsey Venner
That you.

00:29:55:19 – 00:29:56:08
Ramsey Venner
Know the song.

00:29:56:08 – 00:29:58:24
Ramsey Venner
Word for word, and you’re singing these lyrics.

00:29:59:09 – 00:30:02:12
Ramsey Venner
They are raunchier and raunchier and raunchier right now. You’re so.

00:30:02:12 – 00:30:05:14
Ramsey Venner
Focused on everything that’s negative and not.

00:30:05:22 – 00:30:20:00
Ramsey Venner
Beneficial. Org in to change your life in the slightest. I’ma tell you to be a hustler. I’ma tell you to be a gangster. I’m a tell you to be a pimp. I’m a tell you to do all of these things that don’t bring any value to your community. I’m just going to tell you to keep doing the nonsense that you’ve been doing, because you know what?

00:30:20:06 – 00:30:21:21
Ramsey Venner
It allows me to control you.

00:30:22:28 – 00:30:24:14
Ramsey Venner
And as long as I control you.

00:30:24:22 – 00:30:27:24
Ramsey Venner
I don’t have to worry about you. You’re not a problem.

00:30:29:05 – 00:30:30:12
Brad Singletary
And you’re a consumer.

00:30:30:23 – 00:30:31:16
Ramsey Venner
And you’re a consumer.

00:30:32:05 – 00:30:43:02
Brad Singletary
I’m thinking about what? What is the magic of keeping people in their situation and it’s because now we got we got we got some consumers. That’s who’s buying the sneakers in and around real.

00:30:43:13 – 00:30:46:26
Ramsey Venner
That’s what you’re doing. You know you go to work a ten hour, 12 hour day.

00:30:47:14 – 00:30:57:07
Ramsey Venner
At a menial job. One, you’re not going to try to do anything greater than that menial job because it’s you don’t have those ambitions in you. You don’t have the financial education to say this is what’s going to happen.

00:30:57:14 – 00:30:58:07
Ramsey Venner
If you.

00:30:58:12 – 00:31:03:02
Ramsey Venner
You know, save your money or if you invest or if you if you buy instead of buying.

00:31:03:16 – 00:31:08:29
Ramsey Venner
The Nike’s if you buy Nike the company. Yes, right. Yeah.

00:31:09:08 – 00:31:11:08
Ramsey Venner
If you buy Nike, the company with that.

00:31:11:08 – 00:31:12:22
Ramsey Venner
Same hundred bucks, every.

00:31:12:22 – 00:31:31:06
Ramsey Venner
Time you get ready to go buy, some days you put 150 in Nike stock. We’ll look that Nike stock not only is going to maintain its value, maybe goes up and down depending on the stock market. But Mike is going to kick you a dividend. We’re saying, hey, way to go from being an investor. Wait, so every hundred and 50 bucks that I was going to spend on days, I took that and I bought Nike stock.

00:31:31:06 – 00:31:34:02
Ramsey Venner
Now I’m getting dividends on top of that, the money never went anywhere.

00:31:34:10 – 00:31:40:19
Ramsey Venner
Wait, I can make a loan against that equity. I don’t need a bank. I am the bank.

00:31:41:20 – 00:31:50:06
Ramsey Venner
That’s not information that’s give me. Now we’re going to show you the commercial and say go put on a jay because it’ll make you jump higher and you can still play basketball. Listen.

00:31:50:17 – 00:31:54:13
Ramsey Venner
Of the however many million inner city kids.

00:31:55:01 – 00:31:58:28
Ramsey Venner
There’s way 31 basketball teams with 14 people on each team.

00:31:59:14 – 00:32:04:18
Ramsey Venner
What’s the odds, bro? Yeah, what’s the odds? But anybody can open.

00:32:04:18 – 00:32:21:21
Ramsey Venner
A Robinhood account. Anybody can go to a Charles Schwab, anybody can put $1,000 away and go buy that Nike stock and keep doing it over the course of, you know, your five years, your ten years, the 20 years, and you can be seen on an end so quick because that money is going to keep doubling and tripling.

00:32:22:03 – 00:32:28:02
Ramsey Venner
And exponentially growing. Would you now have access a wealth?

00:32:28:02 – 00:32:45:25
Brad Singletary
So you talked about prison, gave you some hunger. It gave you some desire to never be in that situation, to improve yourself, to get somewhere. You said something earlier about being significant. I don’t that’s not the word to use, but something about, you know, becoming somebody, doing something with yourself. So so I want to talk about some of the ways that you’ve done that, man.

00:32:45:25 – 00:33:06:24
Brad Singletary
You’re obviously well on your way. You got three businesses and talked about earlier. One of the I forget who you’re talking about, a coach maybe or someone was a mentor. But in the in the pre-show talk that we had here pregame and you were talking about some others who had mentor to oh, that was the guy who the janitor.

00:33:07:05 – 00:33:07:09
Ramsey Venner
Shirt.

00:33:07:13 – 00:33:10:13
Brad Singletary
For the church or whatever he was a mentor and and a pastor.

00:33:10:13 – 00:33:10:23
Ramsey Venner
Yeah.

00:33:11:04 – 00:33:19:10
Brad Singletary
Uh, by the way, you’re still involved. You’re you going in? You ain’t just there to get opportunities. You know, you’re there for you. There for the whole thing, right?

00:33:19:18 – 00:33:22:10
Ramsey Venner
I was baptized on Memorial Day.

00:33:22:22 – 00:33:24:12
Ramsey Venner
A year or.

00:33:24:12 – 00:33:38:16
Ramsey Venner
Two ago. I don’t know. Yeah, I think it’s a I just celebrate the one year anniversary of being baptized and, you know, finding and following Jesus Christ every day. I have no qualms about that. My is I came I used to.

00:33:38:16 – 00:33:38:28
Ramsey Venner
Be.

00:33:39:15 – 00:34:04:10
Ramsey Venner
A but the thought process that I was agnostic and I don’t oh so but that’s nonsense right look around you when you look at how the body, the cells, the muscles, everything is set in divine order. Okay, say, say there’s not a god. That’s right. Now, watching my every move in life and, you know, helping me make decisions.

00:34:04:10 – 00:34:19:13
Ramsey Venner
Right. But at some point somebody said all of this stuff and most right. And it’s in a divine order. Matter how the trees grow. Release carbon dioxide or release oxygen, and we release carbon dioxide that keeps the trees growing like beds.

00:34:20:18 – 00:34:22:05
Ramsey Venner
It’s bigger than you know what I mean?

00:34:22:05 – 00:34:24:16
Ramsey Venner
Like, then this is not accidental.

00:34:24:16 – 00:34:25:25
Ramsey Venner
Yeah. How we’re here.

00:34:25:25 – 00:34:29:15
Ramsey Venner
And what we’re doing and how we’re living is not accidental. How there’s, you know.

00:34:30:11 – 00:34:31:21
Ramsey Venner
Just their seasons.

00:34:32:04 – 00:34:33:01
Brad Singletary
Yes. I’m with.

00:34:33:17 – 00:34:38:15
Ramsey Venner
Their seasons. You know what I mean? There’s seasons where in certain seasons, animals.

00:34:39:14 – 00:34:41:05
Ramsey Venner
Naturally want to go.

00:34:41:05 – 00:34:42:22
Ramsey Venner
In and reproduce.

00:34:43:04 – 00:34:44:09
Ramsey Venner
How, you know.

00:34:44:09 – 00:34:45:23
Ramsey Venner
Bees know where to go to get.

00:34:45:23 – 00:34:50:00
Ramsey Venner
Like all of this stuff is like it’s it’s perfect image.

00:34:50:00 – 00:34:50:26
Ramsey Venner
Design and it’s.

00:34:50:26 – 00:34:58:23
Ramsey Venner
Orchestration and there’s no way that this is all just happenstance. This is just you don’t have to believe.

00:34:58:23 – 00:35:03:22
Ramsey Venner
In and follow Jesus. You don’t want to believe that he died on the cross. You think it’s a fairy tale?

00:35:03:22 – 00:35:04:10
Ramsey Venner
What? How come.

00:35:04:10 – 00:35:07:00
Ramsey Venner
Every religion, every culture.

00:35:07:15 – 00:35:08:21
Ramsey Venner
Every human on the.

00:35:08:21 – 00:35:09:23
Ramsey Venner
Planet, every type.

00:35:09:23 – 00:35:12:06
Ramsey Venner
Of people have some type of.

00:35:12:24 – 00:35:14:14
Ramsey Venner
Understanding for something greater.

00:35:14:14 – 00:35:15:04
Ramsey Venner
Than us?

00:35:15:28 – 00:35:20:25
Ramsey Venner
Right. So it was a no brainer for me to find faith. Like, I just.

00:35:20:28 – 00:35:21:13
Ramsey Venner
Didn’t.

00:35:22:01 – 00:35:35:11
Ramsey Venner
Know how serious it was. And until I started observing, like not only that that things are in order, but when you are faithful, when you follow the.

00:35:35:11 – 00:35:35:29
Ramsey Venner
Word.

00:35:36:00 – 00:35:48:01
Ramsey Venner
When you follow it, like everything that’s that’s put in the Bible. I’m a realist to say, you know, I know man has had his hand on it. Right. I know the you know, there was a there is a concave or.

00:35:48:01 – 00:35:49:06
Ramsey Venner
Canon meeting.

00:35:49:06 – 00:35:50:22
Ramsey Venner
And they decided with books.

00:35:50:22 – 00:35:54:24
Ramsey Venner
Were that were what you know what I mean. Yeah But at some point.

00:35:55:11 – 00:36:08:23
Ramsey Venner
The thing that has lasted throughout time, throughout time, throughout every man’s chance and try an attempt to disrupt it and corrupt it and use it for is negative. Like the word of God is still bro in.

00:36:09:18 – 00:36:10:29
Ramsey Venner
His promises thing.

00:36:11:18 – 00:36:13:05
Ramsey Venner
His promises are true. When you put.

00:36:13:07 – 00:36:15:11
Ramsey Venner
When you when you post up and you really.

00:36:15:11 – 00:36:23:01
Ramsey Venner
Look at it like have you I think I heard today my pastor, Pastor Scott said.

00:36:23:01 – 00:36:24:28
Ramsey Venner
You may not have.

00:36:24:28 – 00:36:27:28
Ramsey Venner
Always gotten what you want. No, no, no. I was pastor urging.

00:36:28:01 – 00:36:28:10
Ramsey Venner
You may.

00:36:28:10 – 00:36:31:24
Ramsey Venner
Not have gotten what you wanted, but his God, it always has.

00:36:31:25 – 00:36:35:22
Ramsey Venner
Given you what you need. It may not have always.

00:36:35:22 – 00:36:39:05
Ramsey Venner
Got what you wanted, but God has always given you what you need. It like have you?

00:36:39:05 – 00:36:39:27
Ramsey Venner
If you really think.

00:36:39:27 – 00:36:41:27
Brad Singletary
About you had everything you ever needed.

00:36:41:29 – 00:36:43:16
Ramsey Venner
Always you want.

00:36:43:18 – 00:36:45:27
Brad Singletary
It worked out. It worked out. Whatever it was.

00:36:45:27 – 00:36:57:01
Ramsey Venner
Listen, I had a personal crisis going on last week, like every other week. Anyway, I had a president is going on last week because.

00:36:59:00 – 00:37:25:29
Ramsey Venner
My pastor, another pastor, I hope my brilliant brother, Mayor Ricky said, pastor, it’s say, you know, we have these challenges where our faith meets reality. I know I’m supposed to be faith. I know I’m supposed to just do painting, clothes and abide. And God is, you know, take back that a long time and just wait for it all to happen and God, I got this dude knocking on my door right now.

00:37:25:29 – 00:37:44:06
Ramsey Venner
That I owe bread right now. Like these people talk about they’ve got to take my car guy, like, you know what I mean? I know you. You going always have what I need, but I kind of need the car right now. Jesus is like, Where are you at right now? I got like, Ginger. Ginger, please, just, you know, like five, six bags would make this thing make a lot more sense.

00:37:44:21 – 00:37:47:27
Ramsey Venner
Listen. And I had a personal crisis going where.

00:37:48:08 – 00:38:14:04
Ramsey Venner
I was in that place. But I have a praying wife. I have a praying wife. And, you know, we just see calms me. She calms my spirit where I’m like is bad, babe. I don’t feel good. I don’t feel good about the things that are happening. I don’t feel like I’m supposed to be in this place. I work.

00:38:14:04 – 00:38:14:22
Ramsey Venner
Too hard.

00:38:15:18 – 00:38:15:28
Ramsey Venner
Right?

00:38:16:13 – 00:38:39:04
Ramsey Venner
But the things that I’m working, that I’m being met with, with resistance and I’m running into obstacles and stuff that I you know, I’m not planning this. I have my merchant processing system to stop for two weeks. And I ran like one of the worst things in business is that when you have your mind.

00:38:39:10 – 00:38:40:28
Ramsey Venner
And your systems and processes.

00:38:40:28 – 00:38:41:28
Ramsey Venner
And you’ve done.

00:38:41:28 – 00:38:43:11
Ramsey Venner
Good work for your clients and they’re.

00:38:43:11 – 00:38:56:28
Ramsey Venner
Willing to pay you, they’re they’re paying on time. They’re trying to get settled up so you can keep doing what you’re doing. You got a good thing going, Hey, we like you over here. Come on back here. Come on back and Mark.

00:38:57:19 – 00:38:58:11
Brad Singletary
Collect the money.

00:38:58:18 – 00:39:03:28
Ramsey Venner
Collect the money, bro. I got to send this guy to somewhere else. Do you got to do this?

00:39:03:28 – 00:39:05:01
Ramsey Venner
Pays his team over here.

00:39:05:09 – 00:39:09:25
Ramsey Venner
I’m going to send you a new way. And I’m in four year business.

00:39:09:25 – 00:39:10:12
Ramsey Venner
So this is.

00:39:10:12 – 00:39:11:27
Ramsey Venner
My, you know, me.

00:39:11:27 – 00:39:16:20
Ramsey Venner
Ramsay, Vinny, the the. The guy that’s doing some side cleaning on the side.

00:39:16:20 – 00:39:17:24
Ramsey Venner
Man, I got a brand.

00:39:17:25 – 00:39:20:01
Brad Singletary
Yeah, people pay. Pay that you pay in there.

00:39:20:15 – 00:39:31:04
Ramsey Venner
I got a label, I got I got employees man that that better I’m taking care of their families to these dues have to answer to their wives you found me like God.

00:39:31:04 – 00:39:31:17
Brad Singletary
Bless them.

00:39:32:01 – 00:39:42:23
Ramsey Venner
Right? They got to answer to their people, man. Make our kids at home and they just jam me up on one side. So I’m like, Where did that come from? Right?

00:39:42:23 – 00:39:45:28
Brad Singletary
What happened now? No one house has shakes out what happened.

00:39:48:03 – 00:40:01:10
Ramsey Venner
Is the same spirit, man, same spirit, that same energy. They say, Nah, I’m not going to, you know, if you give me the opportunity, I’m going to make it happen. I don’t care what it takes. I don’t care what it takes. I don’t care what I got to do. I don’t care who I got to borrow from. Like I don’t care where I got to go.

00:40:01:10 – 00:40:17:09
Ramsey Venner
Take out a loan. Listen, man, you worked your time. You put in time for clean fruit. You got to check. Come in. If something happened today, I take all my make your right. I don’t care on my family. Listen, babe, it’s rough right now. I got to make a move. I got to figure out some kind of how to get our people paid.

00:40:17:09 – 00:40:32:26
Ramsey Venner
Pay our people. We pay our people. We took care of that. And I got to work it out with the bank. I got to work it out with the merchant process. I got to jump into a different system that’s not their problem, right? They’re doing what they’re supposed to do by us. So we’re going to do what we’re supposed to do by them.

00:40:32:26 – 00:40:34:06
Ramsey Venner
But yeah, I’m I’m.

00:40:34:14 – 00:40:34:17
Ramsey Venner
A.

00:40:34:17 – 00:40:35:01
Brad Singletary
Scary.

00:40:35:01 – 00:40:43:27
Ramsey Venner
Man. I’m out before five the morning screaming on the phone that you gotta get of there, you know what I mean? And at the end of the day.

00:40:45:01 – 00:40:49:11
Ramsey Venner
It’s even it out, you know what I mean? But yeah, it’s it put us in a bind.

00:40:49:12 – 00:40:50:06
Ramsey Venner
And in that.

00:40:50:06 – 00:40:51:03
Ramsey Venner
You know, you’re sitting there.

00:40:51:03 – 00:40:56:15
Ramsey Venner
Like, what? Why? What did I do to get this one? You know what I mean? But nah.

00:40:57:26 – 00:40:58:19
Ramsey Venner
I worry about it.

00:40:58:27 – 00:41:00:26
Ramsey Venner
I’m moving you. You think I’m moving you.

00:41:01:15 – 00:41:06:08
Ramsey Venner
In the life you think something’s happening to you. But understand, this is something that is happening for.

00:41:06:16 – 00:41:32:09
Brad Singletary
Yeah. And the rain falls on the just in the end, it’s like this happens. I mean, some of that stuff just happens. I’ll only talk about mentor, so, you know, talk about some of the men in your life. This is this whole thing is centered around men being better you’ve taken from where you were. And man just really I mean, it’s just miraculous what you’ve turned yourself into, you know, how you’re evolving as a man, but what other men have made a difference for you?

00:41:32:09 – 00:41:39:18
Brad Singletary
Who were the key players that look back on and, you know, that you trusted that helped you get.

00:41:40:08 – 00:41:54:07
Ramsey Venner
Well, I actually have a mentor, man that I meet with. I don’t want to name Joplin. I just got it. I got a real solid mentor that know I don’t get as much time as I would like because he’s a busy guy, but it keeps me focused.

00:41:54:18 – 00:41:55:17
Ramsey Venner
And just having.

00:41:55:27 – 00:42:14:02
Ramsey Venner
A sounding board, right? Like where my name is, what I’m going through. I’ve never gone through anything like this before. Give me some insight. Sometimes. Sometimes it can be as little as just, you know, being in the presence of like like somebody who’s accomplished.

00:42:14:02 – 00:42:14:22
Ramsey Venner
Right, right.

00:42:15:28 – 00:42:47:10
Ramsey Venner
Where you ask a different type of question because of who you’re talking. Like, if I was talking to my five year old, my six year old, I’m going to be like, I wish that Daddy knew about this account right. And the information is not going to be that poignant, right? Because I’m not asking for a serious response. But when I sit down and I’m getting ready to ask this guy a question, well, I’ve evaluated the question because I don’t want him to give me the like, bro, you you know what I mean?

00:42:47:10 – 00:42:49:21
Ramsey Venner
Like, my time is valuable. So you ain’t thought about this yet?

00:42:49:21 – 00:42:50:01
Brad Singletary
Always.

00:42:50:01 – 00:42:52:24
Ramsey Venner
What time? So, yeah, I have to go through the paces.

00:42:52:24 – 00:43:03:08
Ramsey Venner
In my own brain before I ask the question. And sometimes, even when I fire it off, after I’ve gone through all of the paces, as soon as I say and I’m in this guy’s presence, I’m like, Yeah.

00:43:04:02 – 00:43:07:04
Ramsey Venner
I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it. You know what I mean?

00:43:07:04 – 00:43:11:02
Ramsey Venner
Just because I know what he would probably say to me, right?

00:43:11:02 – 00:43:13:26
Ramsey Venner
So I aim.

00:43:14:19 – 00:43:21:19
Ramsey Venner
Of all of the things that I’ve read and heard and seen and talked about, like they there’s a definite.

00:43:22:03 – 00:43:23:29
Ramsey Venner
Definite need for you to have.

00:43:24:09 – 00:43:45:09
Ramsey Venner
A mentor, not on the short term, but for a long term. We all need mentors because disliking in sports coach Don Baxter was my special teams coach for Fresno State. You say he used to drill, as you said, what is it? Coach said, a coach is a person that can take you to a place that you can’t take so far.

00:43:45:12 – 00:43:46:22
Ramsey Venner
Oh, right. Yeah.

00:43:46:29 – 00:44:02:23
Ramsey Venner
So you’re going to get a coach for football, you get a coach for tennis, people, get good coaches for lifting weights, all of the sports, not because you want these people to make you better than you currently are. Well, why not get a coach for life or coach for business, a coach for whatever the thing.

00:44:03:26 – 00:44:20:06
Brad Singletary
So you were you were talking about a system where you’re kind of you got a package where you would coach someone who was you’re you want to share your the knowledge that you’ve gained in the last four years as an entrepreneur as part of this kind of would be a coaching type thing, you know, what about other men in your life?

00:44:20:06 – 00:44:31:16
Brad Singletary
You know, men who made a difference, men who just maybe it’s not an arranged, you know, mentor conversation, maybe a family member or a friend or a coach or someone who just had an impact. And what did they do to make.

00:44:31:16 – 00:44:31:19
Ramsey Venner
It.

00:44:32:11 – 00:44:36:06
Ramsey Venner
Through sports? You start seeing a different side like of humanity, like I.

00:44:36:24 – 00:44:40:01
Ramsey Venner
I started seeing solid men.

00:44:40:16 – 00:45:09:06
Ramsey Venner
When I started playing football, I, there were some dudes that were like, you know, you could still tell they were jokers in their own life, right? But when I got to the university level and I got to go to like some of my coaches houses and I could see, you know, like that these were people that were like serious dudes, like, you know, influential, good, hardy, God fearing, and they had families, family man.

00:45:09:06 – 00:45:29:18
Ramsey Venner
Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, you know, this guy is pouring his heart out on the field. These they’re watching film after the fact. And, you know, it’s probably a strain on his relationship, his family. But they know who dad is. That like there are some guys I, I don’t know. I mean, I probably had some some terrible coaches that, you know, had terrible lives outside of football.

00:45:29:18 – 00:45:34:22
Ramsey Venner
But the ones that were like real solid, great, great coaches, they were.

00:45:34:22 – 00:45:36:05
Ramsey Venner
Solid men.

00:45:36:05 – 00:46:00:09
Ramsey Venner
They were solid family men. They they had like, you know, when they showed up, their kids were in tow. The wife was there. She was supportive. Maybe, you know, she probably wanted more time at home and all the things, right. Because that’s that’s life. Like in my own life. I’ve noticed that like as a man, when you’re trying to do the right thing, it’s one of the hardest things because everything needs your attention right now and all of it.

00:46:01:18 – 00:46:08:11
Ramsey Venner
How do you decide how do you decide for how much time do you spend with the kids? How much time do you spend with the wife, especially trying to build a business?

00:46:08:11 – 00:46:08:22
Brad Singletary
Oh, man.

00:46:09:14 – 00:46:10:04
Ramsey Venner
How much time.

00:46:10:04 – 00:46:11:03
Ramsey Venner
Can you, you.

00:46:11:03 – 00:46:12:11
Ramsey Venner
Know, wait.

00:46:12:13 – 00:46:14:17
Ramsey Venner
It’s unlimited. It’s unlimited.

00:46:14:17 – 00:46:19:16
Ramsey Venner
It’s unlimited. How many things I could be doing right now? How many things I should be doing right now? I should.

00:46:19:16 – 00:46:20:25
Ramsey Venner
Be 17 other.

00:46:20:25 – 00:46:22:28
Ramsey Venner
Places doing nine other things. I should.

00:46:22:28 – 00:46:24:01
Ramsey Venner
Have more people working.

00:46:24:01 – 00:46:29:10
Ramsey Venner
For me. I should be better to my clients. I should do more stuff for my employees. I should be.

00:46:29:18 – 00:46:30:01
Ramsey Venner
Out here.

00:46:30:01 – 00:46:31:02
Ramsey Venner
Tuning up this car.

00:46:31:02 – 00:46:37:03
Ramsey Venner
I said, you know, put the light bulb work. You know what I mean? Whatever it is at the house, I’m supposed to tighten up this.

00:46:37:03 – 00:46:38:08
Ramsey Venner
Door knob like I’ve.

00:46:38:08 – 00:46:40:04
Ramsey Venner
Walked by this washing machine so.

00:46:40:04 – 00:46:41:08
Ramsey Venner
Many times. You know what I mean?

00:46:41:08 – 00:46:42:09
Ramsey Venner
I should take.

00:46:42:09 – 00:46:49:04
Ramsey Venner
My kid out back here and throw the ball some more. And then I got another kid that I should take over here to the tennis, and I’ll take another kid who wants to.

00:46:49:04 – 00:46:58:17
Ramsey Venner
Just go to the playground and just wants to be in Daddy’s face, like there’s. What do you do? You know what I mean? What do you do? What do.

00:46:58:17 – 00:47:01:00
Brad Singletary
You do? What do you do? Because you’re doing it.

00:47:01:17 – 00:47:11:07
Ramsey Venner
Listen, man, I love all my people, my. And it’s one of the greatest joys. Thank you. Asked me a question. Or maybe your assistant asked me a question like, what do I do outside of work?

00:47:11:07 – 00:47:11:16
Ramsey Venner
Right.

00:47:12:19 – 00:47:37:07
Ramsey Venner
Well, work kind of my pleasure. Just because of where I am in my and my season. Right. My season right now is not about and I’ve taken on the responsibility in this life that if anybody’s going to turn direction in my family, me, I bear that responsibility. I bear that, you know, like, like like like the cross, right?

00:47:37:07 – 00:47:37:29
Ramsey Venner
I that’s my.

00:47:37:29 – 00:47:40:00
Ramsey Venner
Cross. I don’t.

00:47:41:02 – 00:47:44:11
Ramsey Venner
Have another person that’s going to come and save the day for.

00:47:44:14 – 00:47:46:29
Ramsey Venner
Us. I want my daughter.

00:47:46:29 – 00:47:54:07
Ramsey Venner
And my and this is my my granddaughter that’s in college now, blessed. She’s a university, San Diego and law school.

00:47:54:16 – 00:47:55:23
Ramsey Venner
Wow. Right now.

00:47:55:24 – 00:48:00:22
Ramsey Venner
Right. And this is the one that they were saying, if I if I hid behind a little girl.

00:48:00:22 – 00:48:01:13
Ramsey Venner
This one. Yeah.

00:48:01:15 – 00:48:20:17
Ramsey Venner
She’s she’s not a little girl no more. She’s a grown woman and she’s doing her stuff. Amazing shout out to you as well. From her to my Juliet to my solo to Georgia to Francis to my new baby. This on the way. Listen, I want them to know, man, that they got a dude that’s going to go the whole way for them.

00:48:21:06 – 00:48:52:14
Ramsey Venner
And they’re my joys. My wife is my joy. So I go and I’ll give it all I got. I’ll sell out, bro at work. I’ll sell out up at four in the morning, whatever it takes to, to, to, you know, set and schedules and making sure everybody’s going to be where they’re going to be. And if it’s making contact calls with clients or even sit in my agenda for what I need to have happen that day or any problems that I’ve missed or bills that I got to pay like I do all of that at the wee hours, the small hours before they wake up, when they wake up, I’m dead.

00:48:53:02 – 00:48:55:12
Ramsey Venner
Because I get to fall when.

00:48:55:12 – 00:49:00:23
Ramsey Venner
You can’t do anything like where you got to lock in and focus when you got little ones, right?

00:49:00:23 – 00:49:01:12
Brad Singletary
Ones all on.

00:49:01:12 – 00:49:01:16
Ramsey Venner
You.

00:49:01:17 – 00:49:16:27
Ramsey Venner
So, you know, I’m dad. Okay? When it’s time for me to go to to the office or they get put down for a nap, then I can crank it back up again and get back into my work mode. But, you know, everything has a time and a place and my wife is super supportive. She’s there. And when I sit down at work.

00:49:16:27 – 00:49:17:18
Ramsey Venner
And I come home.

00:49:18:03 – 00:49:25:04
Ramsey Venner
I’ve gotten to this point now in my business where I can put my phone to the side and my, you know, give a responsibility to my people so that they.

00:49:25:04 – 00:49:27:03
Ramsey Venner
Can do the delegate.

00:49:27:03 – 00:49:27:13
Brad Singletary
That 20.

00:49:27:13 – 00:49:29:18
Ramsey Venner
Five things they yeah so I’m.

00:49:29:24 – 00:49:30:14
Ramsey Venner
I’m getting.

00:49:30:28 – 00:49:50:20
Ramsey Venner
In a place where I can chop it up in and say, okay, this is my work day now you guys have to do your job. You got to I’m not going to solve every problem. Some things you should understand. So as a business owner, that puts you in a position like How can I try and has got to do this thing they come in find me for and I shouldn’t be the only person with all the answers.

00:49:50:20 – 00:50:00:11
Ramsey Venner
And that makes you have a different realization on a scale. Or do you want to be the only person with all of the keys or the only person with all of the information, all the answers? You don’t only want to talk to clients.

00:50:01:06 – 00:50:02:22
Ramsey Venner
Oh, I don’t want to be that anymore.

00:50:03:01 – 00:50:08:20
Brad Singletary
I heard a guy, one of my mentors said, a leader doesn’t do the work of ten men. Right? He got ten men doing the work.

00:50:09:07 – 00:50:10:12
Ramsey Venner
You know that part.

00:50:10:17 – 00:50:19:16
Brad Singletary
But you’re still very involved. You got your hands all in the business. Oh, we were just talking about other men that have helped you.

00:50:19:16 – 00:50:20:05
Ramsey Venner
Yeah, yeah.

00:50:20:13 – 00:50:21:00
Brad Singletary
Be a man.

00:50:21:02 – 00:50:47:08
Ramsey Venner
Yeah, so I do. I give a lot of props to my dad, right? My dad was. He was born in 1930, so a era. Yeah, my dad was born in 1930 in San Andreas in Providencia, Colombia. So he came to America basically as like a teenager, 12 or 13 years old. What the his parents passed over in Colombia.

00:50:48:10 – 00:50:56:02
Ramsey Venner
He got on a boat that was like a decade early in his life just to, like, kind of find his way. Uncles, I got.

00:50:56:13 – 00:50:57:18
Ramsey Venner
You know, over there.

00:50:58:04 – 00:51:01:26
Ramsey Venner
Uncles and I state I don’t know so well but he came over.

00:51:01:26 – 00:51:02:10
Ramsey Venner
Here.

00:51:02:21 – 00:51:21:07
Ramsey Venner
And, you know, just decided that he was going to make his own path. And, you know, probably by the time he met my mom, he had two. Yeah, three other kids. Yeah, three other kids. And they’re all like older than me by like, I don’t know, like 20 years now.

00:51:21:25 – 00:51:27:09
Ramsey Venner
But he came here and everything that I knew of.

00:51:27:09 – 00:51:43:12
Ramsey Venner
My dad from my adolescence was just. You just had a glow on a man. He had a glow like he didn’t live with us because he was on boats and we lived in Florida and in Texas and he lived in Hawaii at one point, you know, I guess it was either marital.

00:51:43:12 – 00:51:43:22
Ramsey Venner
Or.

00:51:44:12 – 00:51:53:29
Ramsey Venner
Economical, meaning, you know, that’s where the jobs were. And he, like, went there. However, it played out. We weren’t always with him, but when he showed up, like he was just.

00:51:54:11 – 00:51:56:05
Ramsey Venner
He was the dude. He was the.

00:51:56:05 – 00:52:05:19
Ramsey Venner
Do like my dad and all of his old pictures, super sharp dresser. Just he just had like a real flatness about a and and I.

00:52:05:19 – 00:52:07:12
Brad Singletary
Always sound like an Alpha, right?

00:52:07:13 – 00:52:08:22
Ramsey Venner
Yeah. He just he just.

00:52:08:22 – 00:52:27:17
Ramsey Venner
Had a finesse about him and I used to like and and the deference that people gave to him like, well, do you know what I mean? He wasn’t like people sneered at him like he did anything bad or you never had bad relations that I could ever see. And I went places, went to me, you know, tell me about like when we went to the bank and stuff like that.

00:52:27:17 – 00:52:44:14
Ramsey Venner
He’d always be like, you, you stand up and you know what I mean? Like, he just was a stern dude, but, like, quite pokey sharp. And I just would, you know, I didn’t get enough time around him to, like, approach him and, like, copy his mannerisms, like, most do, right?

00:52:44:21 – 00:52:45:00
Ramsey Venner
Yeah.

00:52:45:06 – 00:52:54:01
Ramsey Venner
But just there was this vibe when my dad was around me, he was the guy, and there was no questions about it right now.

00:52:54:12 – 00:52:58:29
Ramsey Venner
So that that’s on the me looking side.

00:52:58:29 – 00:53:09:13
Ramsey Venner
Right. And then my mom, because of course, he was from Columbia and we were, you know, black poor in West Palm Beach, Florida, everything that she said and.

00:53:09:14 – 00:53:12:04
Ramsey Venner
They they you know, your dad your dad being in boats and he from.

00:53:12:04 – 00:53:15:13
Ramsey Venner
Columbia. So, you know, he’d probably go and make a move.

00:53:15:13 – 00:53:29:22
Ramsey Venner
And come back and it’d be money in a briefcase. He seized it. So it was like this, like folklore around my dad. Like, was you really somebody? Was he like one of them dudes or like, Oh, I got to have some people that’s over there doing some stuff, you know what I mean? Like, we’ve real Colombians, though, you know what I mean?

00:53:29:22 – 00:53:32:19
Ramsey Venner
So that always played his part. And it was.

00:53:32:19 – 00:53:35:04
Ramsey Venner
It was cool. It was funny. But just there was.

00:53:35:19 – 00:53:37:00
Ramsey Venner
I never my back.

00:53:37:00 – 00:53:50:21
Ramsey Venner
Control it is alcohol it was never allow never aggressive I’ve never seen him like you know, get into real arguments with my mom. I never seen any of that. So I just always had this picture of that’s what a man is, you know what I mean? He was just.

00:53:51:08 – 00:53:51:27
Ramsey Venner
He was a man.

00:53:53:19 – 00:54:01:24
Ramsey Venner
Took care of was sent this money, even when they weren’t like together. You’re like he was just he was just to do so. Long story short, I checked.

00:54:01:24 – 00:54:03:26
Ramsey Venner
Them out and and and.

00:54:04:24 – 00:54:37:27
Ramsey Venner
That’s kind of how I model myself. But then as I got a little older and I started looking at the world in a different kind of way, like I lived with them from all my high school years, from 93 to 97. I had the opportunity to come to live with them in California, California to Oakland, California. And in that time, like, I got to see him, you know, go to work and, you know, he came back and mean like took care of the bills.

00:54:38:11 – 00:54:50:07
Ramsey Venner
He was getting his butt kicked a lot of times at that job. But he made great money on boats in San Francisco. It was a deckhand over there, like 33 bucks an hour or something like that. Like it was just it just.

00:54:50:13 – 00:54:51:06
Ramsey Venner
He always.

00:54:51:06 – 00:55:09:25
Ramsey Venner
Like he wasn’t like, destitute. He wasn’t bad. He wasn’t like a mean spirited dude. And always, like, comedy had his own little way things that he laughed at. And I and I follow suit. Like, I just felt like that presence is what I wanted to give to my kids, what I wanted to be. So my pops is a big influence on me in that way.

00:55:09:25 – 00:55:19:27
Ramsey Venner
And then I got in trouble, went to jail. Yeah, moved to Louisiana and I got a.

00:55:19:27 – 00:55:21:02
Ramsey Venner
Call one.

00:55:21:02 – 00:55:43:00
Ramsey Venner
Morning while I was opening a restaurant in Reno from the coroner’s office in and Bogalusa, Louisiana. My first job, I didn’t even know where this place was. I didn’t know how he found himself there. But him in my I guess, you know, his wife at the time different from my mom. Another lady that he ended up living with that moved down there because that’s where she was from.

00:55:44:02 – 00:55:58:21
Ramsey Venner
And I get the call that, you know, it’s it’s Ramsey Renter. And I was like, yeah, I well, I don’t know how to tell you this, but, you know, I have Ramsey Senior here in our office and I was like.

00:56:00:23 – 00:56:05:12
Ramsey Venner
Doing what he’s like. As I said, it’s a coroner’s office.

00:56:05:12 – 00:56:06:26
Ramsey Venner
And she was like, Yeah. And I was like.

00:56:07:03 – 00:56:09:17
Ramsey Venner
Oh, are you sad? My dad is like this.

00:56:09:19 – 00:56:14:09
Ramsey Venner
And she’s like, Yeah, I’m sorry to hear that. I’m sorry to tell you. And it just was like.

00:56:15:11 – 00:56:16:07
Ramsey Venner
Out of the blue.

00:56:16:07 – 00:56:20:02
Ramsey Venner
Out of the clear blue yonder a week previous, I talked to him about coming to.

00:56:20:02 – 00:56:20:20
Ramsey Venner
Live with me.

00:56:21:03 – 00:56:22:00
Ramsey Venner
In Reno. Right.

00:56:22:01 – 00:56:24:09
Ramsey Venner
He was like, man, I hate it down here. And, you know.

00:56:24:19 – 00:56:45:17
Ramsey Venner
So, you know, we had this whole little okay, I’m like I say, is conspiracy. You know, we just we never found out, truthfully, you know, if it was health or not health related. But it just was it was it was like kind of a mysterious thing that happened. And when I when I when.

00:56:45:17 – 00:56:46:05
Ramsey Venner
I had me.

00:56:47:28 – 00:57:07:20
Ramsey Venner
I don’t know, we just we we went down. We and I met with my Colombian brothers and sisters and my actual sister, my mom. We all went down and we laid them to rest down there. And it was like, you know, I guess the gravity of I was the last winter male kind of hit me at that point, right?

00:57:07:20 – 00:57:15:09
Ramsey Venner
Like it was on me, you know what I mean? And I was I’m doing nonsense and my like really living good. I’m, I’m.

00:57:16:05 – 00:57:33:21
Ramsey Venner
At this I was in Reno being a rapper. There’s a rapper in Reno. Well within the seven, seven, five, seven five Davis I listen big soup.

00:57:33:21 – 00:57:38:25
Ramsey Venner
Man I was out there Lucy aka fly some of that big soup material out there man I I’m still out.

00:57:38:25 – 00:57:48:04
Ramsey Venner
Do you remember when we got a tag that shows our son was with malice and but yeah, we did that and it was it was cool. We.

00:57:48:23 – 00:58:05:19
Ramsey Venner
You know, I had my pops, he passed and I it just like it just our feeling, I guess time to get serious about life. And I tried to tighten up, but I couldn’t get it right. Like, I don’t know if you seen a movie Life. What Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence together, right? Man, they did it right out there.

00:58:05:19 – 00:58:19:22
Ramsey Venner
So, yeah, I moved to Vegas and started tightening up. So to your question about mentors and who really influenced me, him and his presence and him in his absence as well?

00:58:20:10 – 00:58:24:23
Brad Singletary
Well, meaning before he passed and sense.

00:58:24:29 – 00:58:38:00
Ramsey Venner
Yeah. So I’m not just like, oh, he is crazy. As we grow into adults, all of those little sayings that, you know, your people say my dad used to have one. He and I.

00:58:38:00 – 00:58:43:26
Ramsey Venner
Always do the accent because I can hear him in my hair be like 5 minutes more or 5 minutes less. Does it matter.

00:58:45:00 – 00:58:45:25
Ramsey Venner
Who you would.

00:58:45:25 – 00:58:53:01
Ramsey Venner
Tell me? Like, Don’t be in a haste. They’ll be in a rush. 5 minutes more, 5 minutes less. You know what I mean? Like, if you get.

00:58:53:01 – 00:58:54:26
Ramsey Venner
There, you get there, you know, don’t.

00:58:54:26 – 00:58:56:13
Ramsey Venner
Go nuts about it. But, you.

00:58:56:13 – 00:58:58:07
Ramsey Venner
Know, or if you need to.

00:58:58:07 – 00:58:59:07
Ramsey Venner
Leave 5 minutes.

00:58:59:07 – 00:58:59:19
Ramsey Venner
Early.

00:59:00:20 – 00:59:15:03
Ramsey Venner
Stuff like that. And I can hear him call you Ramsey used to call me Ramsey. Ramsey and tell me about like having I’m in Oakland. Right. So you I mean, you have four or five of them cousins in your.

00:59:15:03 – 00:59:15:14
Ramsey Venner
Car.

00:59:16:20 – 00:59:31:08
Ramsey Venner
And he’s talking about bread is right, four or five of them. Because in your car you’re going to have trouble, man. You gonna have trouble with him. I’m like, I I’m not going to catch up with that. But, you know, I’m on the football team and I, you know, I’m running around my booth a certain of every time I loaded up and was like driving everybody.

00:59:31:08 – 00:59:32:12
Ramsey Venner
Everywhere pulled.

00:59:32:12 – 00:59:40:13
Ramsey Venner
Over. Right. So all that wisdom comes back when you grow into being a man and you’re like, That’s it.

00:59:40:13 – 00:59:44:03
Ramsey Venner
Just listen. Or like he was dead on with that, you know what I mean? Or I can hear.

00:59:44:03 – 00:59:54:28
Ramsey Venner
Me in these moments and I apply it when before it was like, No, no. So I get out of you. I love you somewhere.

00:59:54:28 – 00:59:57:22
Ramsey Venner
That’s that’s the game for over there, man. I still don’t work here.

00:59:57:29 – 00:59:58:24
Ramsey Venner
Is is this some.

00:59:59:12 – 01:00:11:00
Brad Singletary
I did not know that about you. About your dad, man. But I’ve heard little accents or little things and I’m like, where is do from? Like, but, but but sometimes your parents have accent even if you grew up in California or whatever.

01:00:11:00 – 01:00:11:20
Ramsey Venner
Like, yeah, yeah.

01:00:11:20 – 01:00:16:10
Brad Singletary
Then, you know, I can tell and you and I hear a little things sometimes and it makes me wonder. It must be it.

01:00:16:15 – 01:00:24:10
Ramsey Venner
Listen, I got to tell you, is one of the secret weapons, like when Breslin when I went to prison, I’ll be sitting there and, you know, everything is race and.

01:00:24:14 – 01:00:24:26
Ramsey Venner
Employ.

01:00:25:13 – 01:00:26:12
Ramsey Venner
Bad you know what I mean?

01:00:26:12 – 01:00:27:01
Brad Singletary
From Yeah.

01:00:27:01 – 01:00:29:25
Ramsey Venner
And I was sitting in the middle of maybe like.

01:00:30:09 – 01:00:31:07
Ramsey Venner
You may up a.

01:00:31:10 – 01:00:34:04
Ramsey Venner
You know talking all of that stuff on a little. I’m like, would you call me bro?

01:00:34:13 – 01:00:38:08
Ramsey Venner
They like, Wait, my bros.

01:00:38:08 – 01:00:44:11
Ramsey Venner
And then I know you’re like a Yo Lightning or gay the Omega Killer. They said, You know what I mean? And I give it to him right there.

01:00:44:11 – 01:00:51:22
Ramsey Venner
And they be like, Well, I, I love it. I love it, bro. So that I do.

01:00:52:10 – 01:01:04:04
Ramsey Venner
I was, I was teaching myself how to read and write and zalmi before I went. And when I went there, I had that fluid for a little bit. But, you know, it was no German speakers in Las Vegas, so I kind of lost a lot of that time.

01:01:04:24 – 01:01:08:17
Brad Singletary
That’s crazy. So how many languages do you speak now?

01:01:08:17 – 01:01:19:04
Ramsey Venner
Just English in Spanish. I was real heavy on the German. I was learning ASL too for a little bit, but the you know, you got to practice that before.

01:01:19:05 – 01:01:25:19
Brad Singletary
That’s that’s what I’m saying, man. You’re a different kind of guy, you know what I mean? You’re taking advantage of every single opportunity.

01:01:25:20 – 01:01:36:02
Ramsey Venner
Why not? What else are you doing? That’s what I’m saying. No, like so prison. In prison. Was that for me, bro? Well, you go to lock me in a room, give me 24 hours.

01:01:36:02 – 01:01:36:26
Ramsey Venner
I don’t have.

01:01:37:23 – 01:01:39:12
Ramsey Venner
Kids, bills.

01:01:40:01 – 01:01:41:13
Ramsey Venner
Distractions. I can’t watch.

01:01:41:14 – 01:01:42:05
Ramsey Venner
TV.

01:01:42:17 – 01:01:43:12
Ramsey Venner
There’s no.

01:01:43:21 – 01:01:44:14
Ramsey Venner
Internet.

01:01:44:23 – 01:01:47:00
Ramsey Venner
There’s no cell phone there.

01:01:47:00 – 01:01:51:29
Ramsey Venner
Hustle. Oh, woman now would be the best me I could be.

01:01:52:10 – 01:01:54:07
Brad Singletary
You’ll get swollen. Just get smaller.

01:01:54:07 – 01:01:57:14
Ramsey Venner
Yes, ma’am. Yes. Well, and somewhere. And then that’s going on.

01:01:57:29 – 01:02:10:20
Ramsey Venner
Everything else seems like insignificant. If I choose to have a different life, if I come out of here the exact same way that I went in. That’s my bad. That’s my bad, right? But if I’m given this opportunity.

01:02:11:00 – 01:02:11:26
Ramsey Venner
I need to make.

01:02:11:26 – 01:02:12:05
Ramsey Venner
It so.

01:02:12:05 – 01:02:14:20
Ramsey Venner
That you never, ever, ever have.

01:02:14:20 – 01:02:30:22
Ramsey Venner
This opportunity put me away again. And that was literally my mantra, bro. I’d be sitting there. I ended up like figuring out how to get grants for college. I got my college degree while I was locked up. I learned how to play the piano. I was locked up.

01:02:31:20 – 01:02:31:27
Ramsey Venner
As.

01:02:32:04 – 01:02:36:27
Brad Singletary
Plays, please. But whatever kind of surprises you, guy? He speaks Spanish. He played the piano.

01:02:38:11 – 01:02:43:10
Ramsey Venner
There’s a football with the car. If you get if you get if you get a stretch.

01:02:43:10 – 01:02:43:21
Ramsey Venner
Like, I.

01:02:43:21 – 01:02:56:10
Ramsey Venner
Just I doubt many people got trade, you know what I mean? Six, seven years of a life to learn how to play the piano, you know what I mean? Or to speak Spanish. Anything else? They did. These are cool, but they came at a price.

01:02:57:07 – 01:03:15:03
Ramsey Venner
The these talents right now are cool, but they came at a price, Zambrano says. If you want your life to change, then you have to change, right? And the minute that you change, everything around you will change. You said work harder on yourself. Then you’re doing your job.

01:03:15:03 – 01:03:35:08
Brad Singletary
So you’re quoting some of these guys. That means you’re listening. That means you’re looking for it. That means you’re out there trying to get wisdom. You know, I just that’s something that I’ve always admired about you is just that you’re looking, you’re looking, you’re listening, watching. You know, you got something running in your mind. You read and you’re doing things to get more information.

01:03:35:15 – 01:03:36:05
Ramsey Venner
You got to do it.

01:03:36:22 – 01:03:38:15
Ramsey Venner
As and and.

01:03:38:15 – 01:03:45:22
Ramsey Venner
This right now technology information age right. We got access to everything. And we.

01:03:45:22 – 01:03:48:25
Ramsey Venner
Choose nothing. We choose.

01:03:48:25 – 01:03:53:29
Ramsey Venner
Nonsense. We choose stuff that does not move the needle one iota.

01:03:53:29 – 01:03:54:15
Ramsey Venner
You got.

01:03:54:22 – 01:03:56:16
Ramsey Venner
The entire world that you like you.

01:03:56:16 – 01:03:57:22
Ramsey Venner
Can you to.

01:03:57:22 – 01:03:58:14
Ramsey Venner
Right now or.

01:03:58:14 – 01:03:59:01
Ramsey Venner
Google.

01:03:59:19 – 01:04:03:14
Ramsey Venner
How to do anything good. You could build an airplane in your garage.

01:04:03:14 – 01:04:03:24
Ramsey Venner
Yeah.

01:04:04:18 – 01:04:07:22
Ramsey Venner
Right now there’s somebody who’s put that information out there.

01:04:08:00 – 01:04:09:05
Ramsey Venner
You can learn.

01:04:09:05 – 01:04:11:21
Ramsey Venner
How to be the best stock broker. You can learn how to be.

01:04:12:08 – 01:04:16:25
Ramsey Venner
Even the best dad. Like, there’s techniques. There’s, like, things you could do. You can have.

01:04:16:25 – 01:04:18:00
Ramsey Venner
Conversation starters.

01:04:18:00 – 01:04:40:18
Ramsey Venner
You can have better ways to better your communication. You can effectively use your social media to increase your bottom line. Well, you can you can Google anything. We have all of the information in the computers that’s our that’s in our hands and what we do with them. We choose to look at cat videos.

01:04:40:18 – 01:04:45:13
Brad Singletary
And I love what you said. We we have access to everything. We choose nothing.

01:04:45:13 – 01:04:46:20
Ramsey Venner
And we choose nothing.

01:04:46:20 – 01:04:52:14
Ramsey Venner
We choose to watch somebody else being goofy. Or why do you.

01:04:52:14 – 01:05:03:01
Brad Singletary
Think that it why do why is it so easy for people to just be easy? And, I don’t know, ordinary. I’m like you, man. I’m driven. I mean, I’m over here work at Sunday night at 9:00.

01:05:03:01 – 01:05:04:15
Ramsey Venner
So come on, man. I’m right here.

01:05:04:15 – 01:05:07:06
Brad Singletary
When you said earlier, you said my business is my pleasure.

01:05:07:06 – 01:05:07:16
Ramsey Venner
Yeah.

01:05:07:24 – 01:05:16:21
Brad Singletary
That’s how you live. I don’t know. I just think that’s what what what’s else doing? Because I don’t know. I don’t understand why people look at cat videos and try to learn how to.

01:05:17:01 – 01:05:17:22
Ramsey Venner
Right. Learn how.

01:05:17:22 – 01:05:18:11
Brad Singletary
Things work.

01:05:18:18 – 01:05:19:00
Ramsey Venner
Right.

01:05:19:07 – 01:05:33:22
Ramsey Venner
And what it’s. So there’s two things at play, right? We have a natural, I think, proclivity to choose the path of least resistance. I’m not going to I’m not going to.

01:05:33:22 – 01:05:34:05
Ramsey Venner
Do.

01:05:34:19 – 01:05:40:24
Ramsey Venner
I’m not going to do the thing that’s hard. I’m not going to do the thing that’s tough. And instead, I want to check out.

01:05:41:27 – 01:05:43:10
Brad Singletary
My energy, say, McAlary.

01:05:43:10 – 01:05:58:19
Ramsey Venner
I’m gonna save my calories. Save my energy. I’m gonna do some later. I get to that tomorrow. Is it necessary that I do that right now? I mean, sure, man. I got a long life to live. Like, the thing that we don’t do is take stock and put value in the thing that matters the most.

01:05:58:26 – 01:06:02:10
Ramsey Venner
The one asset that we cannot get more of is time.

01:06:03:23 – 01:06:12:10
Ramsey Venner
Prison showed me that time is the most valuable asset. All you can do is spend it. You can’t get more of it.

01:06:12:10 – 01:06:21:17
Ramsey Venner
You can’t. All you can do is manage how you spend it. Budget your time, make it a serious priority, see how those.

01:06:21:17 – 01:06:23:05
Ramsey Venner
Minutes are wasted by.

01:06:23:23 – 01:06:29:11
Ramsey Venner
Every 10 minutes that you’re scrolling. If you accumulate those 10 minutes.

01:06:29:11 – 01:06:31:04
Ramsey Venner
And say, I was trying to get a college.

01:06:31:04 – 01:06:35:16
Ramsey Venner
Degree, I would be. How much closer to having.

01:06:35:16 – 01:06:41:13
Ramsey Venner
That college degree if I spent the 10 minutes instead of just scrolling through like, you know, the pictures in the photos and.

01:06:41:13 – 01:06:51:03
Ramsey Venner
It’s like at the right, right. The T in a let me you feel me if I took that time and said, okay, now I’m going to actually lock in on this time and learn how.

01:06:51:10 – 01:06:54:01
Ramsey Venner
To expand my business in this way. Or I’m going.

01:06:54:01 – 01:06:54:25
Ramsey Venner
To learn how to be.

01:06:55:25 – 01:06:56:18
Ramsey Venner
Like I’m going to learn how to.

01:06:56:18 – 01:06:57:05
Ramsey Venner
Get things.

01:06:57:12 – 01:07:01:07
Ramsey Venner
Let’s go, let’s go. Simple. I’ll learn how to get stains out the carpet because don’t know how to do that.

01:07:01:29 – 01:07:07:27
Ramsey Venner
You could spend that time and now I have a skill that’s not only valuable for me.

01:07:08:28 – 01:07:13:19
Ramsey Venner
I can directly translate that skill in the money right now, but now I could teach somebody else how to do it.

01:07:13:19 – 01:07:14:24
Ramsey Venner
And multiply and.

01:07:14:24 – 01:07:15:23
Ramsey Venner
Magnify.

01:07:16:07 – 01:07:18:12
Ramsey Venner
My income by how many people.

01:07:18:12 – 01:07:18:23
Ramsey Venner
I teach.

01:07:18:23 – 01:07:19:15
Ramsey Venner
How to do this.

01:07:19:29 – 01:07:20:12
Ramsey Venner
If I could.

01:07:20:13 – 01:07:50:04
Ramsey Venner
Market their services. Hey, Jeff Bezos isn’t a billionaire because Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk personally go and build Tesla’s right. Bro commands 40,000 people in his organization. He commands a 100,000 individuals that when I say this is his God power, right? Yeah. You know, you don’t you don’t really think about it. But this guy genius is on.

01:07:50:04 – 01:07:50:08
Ramsey Venner
His.

01:07:50:08 – 01:08:02:03
Ramsey Venner
Payroll. He’s got access to the information that like the actual person that probably put up the YouTube video. Right. Right. And when he has a thought, it seems goofy to us.

01:08:02:03 – 01:08:08:09
Ramsey Venner
I want to build a tunnel under the Los Angeles and I want to put a train under Los Angeles because it’s.

01:08:08:09 – 01:08:36:06
Ramsey Venner
Just how well you got the money there. Okay. Is a team, a crack team of science is working on it? Yeah. I’ve got engineers that will come up with the best designs and plans. Yeah, let’s do it. I got a legal team is going to go stand in line for me and get the permits from the city. I got bro, I got an advertising and marketing team on the day that I say is a release everywhere in America, the same picture in the same image pops up on benches and on TV and on billboards.

01:08:36:14 – 01:08:42:00
Ramsey Venner
I can snap my finger and there’s a new reality.

01:08:42:00 – 01:08:42:23
Brad Singletary
That’s leadership.

01:08:43:19 – 01:08:48:18
Ramsey Venner
Bro. That’s where the power is. It’s not me. I’m going to just go away.

01:08:49:00 – 01:08:51:28
Ramsey Venner
Crying and I’m gonna just grind and hustle and I’m going, just do it myself.

01:08:51:28 – 01:08:56:21
Ramsey Venner
And I don’t want nobody telling me I’m the best. That I’m the best at it, bro, i, I gave.

01:08:56:21 – 01:09:00:14
Ramsey Venner
That philosophy up right at year two of my company. I like.

01:09:00:14 – 01:09:02:02
Ramsey Venner
To see, you know what you know.

01:09:02:02 – 01:09:19:03
Brad Singletary
See, I’m self-employed, you know, it’s just me, really. I have a VA and I have a practice manager and stuff like that. But I, I, I, there’s a huge risk taking that leap, you know, because I believe you. I think I would want to do that. But then you got the payroll and then you have the other, the other things that come along with that.

01:09:19:09 – 01:09:35:10
Brad Singletary
But it must be because the way you’re talking about it, even with those occasional little blips and those little the tension, I just know a lot of people that have businesses with 20 employees or whatever and that bar in here, bar in there, they got cash flow. They’re trying to make it all work and it does and it works out big time, really.

01:09:35:10 – 01:09:37:08
Brad Singletary
But that’s is the big leap of faith.

01:09:37:08 – 01:09:37:15
Ramsey Venner
That I have.

01:09:37:26 – 01:09:52:08
Brad Singletary
For myself. I know I’d love to have other coaches and therapists working under Serve Me, you know, but that’s just a big leap anyway. So dude, you’re, you’re, you’re, you’re, I you’re a remarkable guy, man.

01:09:52:20 – 01:09:53:08
Ramsey Venner
I appreciate.

01:09:53:09 – 01:10:09:12
Brad Singletary
You. God genius. All kind of you have all kind of sharp and there’s a lot of people who are sharp intellectually but I would never call them sharp because they I don’t know, they don’t got all the charisma. You got all the cool swagger. My kids, they don’t see swagger.

01:10:09:12 – 01:10:10:29
Ramsey Venner
That’s about swag is going away.

01:10:10:29 – 01:10:13:29
Ramsey Venner
Swagger is going away. We know we don’t. We all this swag.

01:10:13:29 – 01:10:15:20
Ramsey Venner
Is leaving these I don’t know what it’s like.

01:10:15:23 – 01:10:18:08
Brad Singletary
You get all kind of big energy, if you know what I’m saying.

01:10:18:08 – 01:10:18:11
Ramsey Venner
Yeah.

01:10:18:13 – 01:10:32:24
Brad Singletary
You know, you just. But I wonder, what are some of the errors that you think men are making out there? No, the typical guy. What are some of the things that typical man you needs to look at?

01:10:34:08 – 01:10:50:27
Ramsey Venner
You know what? The first thing that I think, like the Book of Proverbs says, the spirit of the Lord is beginning of wisdom. When I got arrested on my big case, they sent me away for seven years. I went to the Branch in Sacramento. So they took me from.

01:10:51:04 – 01:10:51:15
Ramsey Venner
Where.

01:10:51:20 – 01:11:02:19
Ramsey Venner
To. And and that’s when it hits start. That’s when it hits like the result of all of it. It’s fun and games when you’re in a visiting booth and you’re trying to, you know, convince a girl or something.

01:11:04:03 – 01:11:13:17
Ramsey Venner
When you see somebody doing all of that foolishness that that’s you still playing you still playing with life. You haven’t, like, felt the gravity of it to you get in that bus.

01:11:14:10 – 01:11:15:09
Ramsey Venner
And they take you.

01:11:15:09 – 01:11:16:23
Ramsey Venner
Away because.

01:11:16:23 – 01:11:20:05
Ramsey Venner
There’s no prisons that are like real close this right when they take you.

01:11:20:05 – 01:11:20:23
Ramsey Venner
Away.

01:11:20:28 – 01:11:26:15
Ramsey Venner
And now you are now yeah you’re going for some. Wow.

01:11:26:15 – 01:11:28:18
Ramsey Venner
And when see it.

01:11:28:18 – 01:11:33:15
Ramsey Venner
And you look around and like this is what I’ve made of my life, this is what it is now.

01:11:33:19 – 01:11:34:22
Ramsey Venner
And you have to.

01:11:35:20 – 01:11:47:23
Ramsey Venner
Let that reality sink in just a little bit like no. So I did that right. And one of the first grabbed the Bible is, you know, okay, now God.

01:11:47:27 – 01:11:53:12
Ramsey Venner
All right, guy, listen, you was right. I was wrong. Let me let.

01:11:53:12 – 01:11:55:03
Ramsey Venner
Let’s let’s work on this relationship, right?

01:11:56:00 – 01:11:57:17
Ramsey Venner
And it’s too late then.

01:11:57:27 – 01:11:59:22
Ramsey Venner
As far as having something to do with the.

01:11:59:22 – 01:12:01:25
Ramsey Venner
Outcome. Right. But, you.

01:12:01:25 – 01:12:10:18
Ramsey Venner
Know, better late than never, right? Yeah. So I grabbed the book of proverb, grab the Bible in the first book I open with the book of Proverbs. And I think it might have been Proverbs.

01:12:10:18 – 01:12:11:04
Ramsey Venner
One.

01:12:12:05 – 01:12:27:29
Ramsey Venner
By the first bar. And it says that fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom that has always resonated with me, because it’s like when you realize that there’s something going on that’s bigger than.

01:12:27:29 – 01:12:29:17
Ramsey Venner
You.

01:12:29:17 – 01:12:32:01
Ramsey Venner
There’s something at play that’s bigger than you.

01:12:32:01 – 01:12:33:22
Ramsey Venner
Like when you do not.

01:12:33:27 – 01:12:43:04
Ramsey Venner
Feel like I’m afraid God is going to strike me down. But fear in a sense that, you realize that there’s something that’s that’s bigger and broader.

01:12:43:04 – 01:12:44:01
Ramsey Venner
And wider and.

01:12:44:01 – 01:12:45:08
Ramsey Venner
More expansive being.

01:12:45:18 – 01:12:49:26
Ramsey Venner
Whatever you’ve been calling your reality, your little world, your little.

01:12:49:26 – 01:12:51:03
Brad Singletary
World. So little.

01:12:51:11 – 01:12:53:17
Ramsey Venner
Is microscopic. Like these things that.

01:12:53:17 – 01:12:56:09
Ramsey Venner
You’ve been pursuing and spending your time and your energy on.

01:12:57:20 – 01:12:59:07
Ramsey Venner
There’s so much more.

01:12:59:12 – 01:13:00:12
Ramsey Venner
It’s so much.

01:13:01:02 – 01:13:01:12
Ramsey Venner
More.

01:13:01:12 – 01:13:02:22
Ramsey Venner
Abundance and greater.

01:13:03:01 – 01:13:05:18
Ramsey Venner
Than what you’ve been focusing on. If you can.

01:13:05:18 – 01:13:06:29
Ramsey Venner
Just take your eyes off of.

01:13:07:01 – 01:13:07:21
Ramsey Venner
Your.

01:13:07:21 – 01:13:07:25
Ramsey Venner
Your.

01:13:07:25 – 01:13:22:07
Ramsey Venner
Situation and look, look, look a little bit further, look a little bit past where you, you know, take that horizon back just a little bit and like take it all lean in. You can see that, look, this this is this is.

01:13:22:24 – 01:13:29:12
Ramsey Venner
Recognizing that you are not here by accident. But what are you going to do with this opportunity?

01:13:30:29 – 01:13:31:17
Ramsey Venner
You’re not here.

01:13:31:17 – 01:13:38:02
Ramsey Venner
By accident, but what are you going to do with the opportunity to have given you to be on this earth, to exist in the fullness and the richness.

01:13:38:08 – 01:13:38:15
Ramsey Venner
Of.

01:13:38:15 – 01:13:39:27
Ramsey Venner
Everything that I’ve created.

01:13:39:27 – 01:13:47:14
Ramsey Venner
And am in? And you’re taking this opportunity, you’re underneath. You have the ability to create life.

01:13:48:10 – 01:13:49:09
Ramsey Venner
Now, we were talking about.

01:13:49:09 – 01:13:50:22
Ramsey Venner
Elon Musk, and I’m right.

01:13:51:27 – 01:14:00:11
Ramsey Venner
My first kind of introduction to a thought process like that was they used to Henry for I made the Mustang, I made the Model T.

01:14:00:23 – 01:14:01:13
Ramsey Venner
Henry Ford.

01:14:01:14 – 01:14:05:21
Ramsey Venner
Was one of the greatest businessmen in all of basically.

01:14:06:11 – 01:14:07:05
Ramsey Venner
An.

01:14:07:07 – 01:14:09:02
Ramsey Venner
In American business history.

01:14:10:24 – 01:14:12:22
Ramsey Venner
Henry Ford made.

01:14:12:27 – 01:14:13:20
Ramsey Venner
The Model T.

01:14:13:20 – 01:14:15:12
Ramsey Venner
But he was widely.

01:14:15:12 – 01:14:19:17
Ramsey Venner
Thought of as a buffoon. They always used to crack on him, like.

01:14:20:12 – 01:14:21:10
Ramsey Venner
Is this do.

01:14:21:11 – 01:14:22:09
Ramsey Venner
You know what I mean? Like.

01:14:23:05 – 01:14:25:16
Ramsey Venner
Hey, he was just he had an, um.

01:14:26:07 – 01:14:41:26
Ramsey Venner
Breakable tenacity. I read his biography when I was in prison, and I. And his thing was like, there was only a four cylinder engine block. Lee Iacocca was the other one. They took it to eight, but he made the Model T, and he was always.

01:14:41:26 – 01:14:42:23
Ramsey Venner
Getting, you know.

01:14:43:01 – 01:14:56:13
Ramsey Venner
Derided for being a buffoon, an idiot. And then they called him in one day I was like, or I think he got slandered in a newspaper and he caught the dude to the Met and he was like, Listen.

01:14:56:13 – 01:14:57:01
Ramsey Venner
Everybody.

01:14:57:01 – 01:14:58:07
Ramsey Venner
Who has a question about.

01:14:58:16 – 01:14:59:13
Ramsey Venner
My ability.

01:14:59:26 – 01:15:06:03
Ramsey Venner
My reason in my understanding how much information that I can get, I want you to come in. And he called.

01:15:06:03 – 01:15:07:08
Ramsey Venner
A meeting of.

01:15:07:08 – 01:15:11:26
Ramsey Venner
All these people and got him into his office. The Ford office in Detroit sat them all around the roundtable.

01:15:13:20 – 01:15:15:06
Ramsey Venner
Anybody here at this table.

01:15:15:19 – 01:15:19:25
Ramsey Venner
Asked me a question. You have questions about my competency. Ask me a.

01:15:19:25 – 01:15:22:07
Ramsey Venner
Question. Any question.

01:15:22:07 – 01:15:25:24
Ramsey Venner
Under the sun and I will get you an answer in 2 minutes.

01:15:25:24 – 01:15:33:05
Ramsey Venner
Because Henry Ford at that axis, you pick up the phone and talk to anybody you wanted to. He was Henry Ford’s.

01:15:33:09 – 01:15:33:19
Brad Singletary
Phone, a.

01:15:33:19 – 01:15:40:13
Ramsey Venner
Friend and a friend bro. They asked him about physics. They asked him about chemistry. They asked him about bio. I don’t know how long you give me.

01:15:41:05 – 01:15:42:11
Ramsey Venner
Let me let me call this number.

01:15:42:29 – 01:16:11:27
Ramsey Venner
Right. So he understood the the error at that error back then. The ability to harness information. You harness the information, you can synthesize it and use it for whatever you want to. We were just talking about your God power. Elon Musk, the Jeff Bezos that these dudes aren’t even in this planning. Their thought process is about how we get to Mars and what’s the colony they’re going to look like.

01:16:13:16 – 01:16:25:21
Ramsey Venner
As Wild. Well, their thought processes are different, right? And they’re humans. They’re men like me and you. They’re probably like the same age right around here. Right. But just that they’re level of.

01:16:25:21 – 01:16:31:09
Ramsey Venner
Thinking and understanding. Their reasoning about how things work and how the world works is just on a different level.

01:16:31:09 – 01:16:34:00
Ramsey Venner
It’s not this base level that we’re on.

01:16:34:00 – 01:16:35:23
Ramsey Venner
I’m like, I’m gonna just get up and pay these bills. Like.

01:16:36:10 – 01:16:37:04
Ramsey Venner
You know what I mean? Like.

01:16:37:15 – 01:16:39:19
Ramsey Venner
I’m going to go to work so I can make this car note.

01:16:39:19 – 01:16:59:04
Ramsey Venner
Not here. Kanye West, bro. People hate Yeezy, bro, but yeezy is like, Man, I was saying this stuff ten years ago. Everything. Mitchell was mad at me for that, right? Man, y’all giving me props for back then? I said it ten years ago and you hated me when I said it then. But it’s all come to fruition now.

01:16:59:27 – 01:17:02:22
Ramsey Venner
It’s all come to fruition. Tell me I’m not, you know, everything.

01:17:02:22 – 01:17:03:17
Ramsey Venner
That I said. I was going to.

01:17:03:18 – 01:17:08:06
Ramsey Venner
Be back then and now that I’m spouting off more.

01:17:08:06 – 01:17:09:02
Ramsey Venner
Nonsense right.

01:17:09:02 – 01:17:11:04
Ramsey Venner
Now, I better have all of these.

01:17:11:04 – 01:17:14:24
Ramsey Venner
Things ten years from now.

01:17:14:24 – 01:17:34:00
Brad Singletary
So. All right, man. Dude, you are something. I have just a couple. A couple of times today. You, man. I got goose bumps, man. Some of the things you’re saying, it’s really it’s really fascinating just to see that this, like, philosopher’s mind got an athlete’s body philosophers mind you got.

01:17:34:00 – 01:17:34:12
Ramsey Venner
To choose a.

01:17:34:12 – 01:17:35:12
Brad Singletary
Partner spirit.

01:17:36:10 – 01:17:40:19
Ramsey Venner
We call it the decodes man. I got to decode, man. The lawyers and Ramsey. I love you all.

01:17:40:20 – 01:17:47:00
Ramsey Venner
Thank you. Shout out my out made me into this and it God put a little, you know, on the top.

01:17:47:05 – 01:18:11:08
Brad Singletary
But you did something, too. That’s why. That’s why you’re here, man. You know, you’re just you’re not just you’re not just a local business owner. You’re not just a dad. You’re not just you’re doing all these things at a high level. We’ve talked about some of your personal relationships and stuff like that and everything you’re doing. You always seem to be asking questions about how to get yourself in a better spot, whether it’s, you know, business stuff.

01:18:11:13 – 01:18:34:15
Brad Singletary
You’re your workouts, you know, your your employees things at home with the missus. You know, you seem like you’re you’re always just hungry. So in the in the errors that men make, it sounds like you were I couldn’t tell if you were talking about confidence or humility, because there’s really both there that we can be both. We got to be humble enough.

01:18:34:15 – 01:18:49:08
Brad Singletary
And maybe prison taught you some humility. Um, do you think you would have been this guy without that many kids? You got to. You’ve got a sharp mind. You know, you have a lot of great qualities that some of that may be just you were born with.

01:18:50:06 – 01:19:11:25
Ramsey Venner
I think a process, a process negativity. A little different in other people, too. I think I process negativity a lot different actually. Like, okay, I don’t have the spirit to dwell in the negative. I don’t hold grudges. I can’t like it makes me feel bad, right. So in AA and because I went through AA.

01:19:11:25 – 01:19:14:09
Brad Singletary
Right, I love that one. Ask you, I’m glad you came.

01:19:14:09 – 01:19:14:22
Ramsey Venner
Back to that.

01:19:14:23 – 01:19:21:07
Ramsey Venner
AA says the holding is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.

01:19:22:19 – 01:19:25:03
Ramsey Venner
So for me, I can’t never.

01:19:25:08 – 01:19:35:12
Ramsey Venner
I just have never been able to, even if I’m mad at somebody, I can stop messing with you because I feel like it’s not a good look for me or I’ve ceased to see the benefit in this relationship. Right?

01:19:35:12 – 01:19:35:23
Ramsey Venner
Right.

01:19:36:00 – 01:19:49:02
Ramsey Venner
But I never just was nasty or spiteful to people just on a on a strength that we don’t see eye to eye or we don’t get along about a thing. And like, I just feel like I but that’s, that’s, that’s, that’s a old chapter.

01:19:49:28 – 01:19:52:14
Ramsey Venner
But I just. I don’t know, man.

01:19:52:22 – 01:20:10:28
Ramsey Venner
And I’m not very good with boundaries, you know what I mean? I that’s that’s that’s a thing my wife always tells me I’m not very good with boundaries. I used to think it was a strength and not have had like terrible break ups. When I was single. I was like, I thought that was a strength. Like any of my exes, I could.

01:20:10:28 – 01:20:14:02
Ramsey Venner
Probably hit a bump up and, you know, whatever it.

01:20:14:02 – 01:20:25:08
Ramsey Venner
Is, if it’s for help, if it’s for, you know, some niceness, I thought that that was a strength. But at this place in life, in a relationship, I.

01:20:25:08 – 01:20:26:21
Ramsey Venner
Do do better.

01:20:26:21 – 01:20:31:23
Ramsey Venner
By boundaries because there’s people that’ll take advantage of you if you leave those doors open.

01:20:32:08 – 01:20:33:19
Ramsey Venner
Hmm. That’s right. Yeah.

01:20:33:24 – 01:20:36:07
Ramsey Venner
There’s people that’ll take advantage of you or.

01:20:36:15 – 01:20:37:18
Ramsey Venner
You won’t.

01:20:37:18 – 01:20:39:16
Ramsey Venner
Reach your full potential because.

01:20:39:28 – 01:20:42:21
Ramsey Venner
Again, you’re halfway m.

01:20:42:21 – 01:20:57:17
Ramsey Venner
Halfway out of a situation, I think he says know, you see, God wants you to either be hot or cold. Right? Right. Don’t be lukewarm. So I used to love the lukewarm. I love the gray area. I’ve made an album called Gray Hair and big severe gray hair. You got to get that.

01:20:57:25 – 01:21:14:12
Ramsey Venner
And the gray area where I just thought it was like the coolest to be, you know, hey, man I’m I’m here or I’m not. And I’ll be like when I see you used to hear me talking on the phone. Like when you when you’re in the game, when you’re in a life, you say stuff.

01:21:14:12 – 01:21:18:27
Ramsey Venner
Without saying it. You don’t say nothing at all. And you say a bunch of things at the same time. Right? Right.

01:21:18:27 – 01:21:19:24
Ramsey Venner
So yeah.

01:21:19:24 – 01:21:29:03
Ramsey Venner
Man, I’m mean, how much later is not really, but I agree or disagree or yes or no. But I’m glad you later about it. Right.

01:21:29:03 – 01:21:32:06
Ramsey Venner
So little bit. Is that me? Ambivalence.

01:21:32:10 – 01:21:33:15
Brad Singletary
Yeah.

01:21:33:15 – 01:21:34:12
Ramsey Venner
UCLA live.

01:21:34:12 – 01:21:35:06
Ramsey Venner
Right there. Right.

01:21:35:26 – 01:21:37:17
Ramsey Venner
People probably will walk away from me like.

01:21:37:27 – 01:21:38:19
Ramsey Venner
Oh, is he coming?

01:21:41:03 – 01:21:44:06
Ramsey Venner
Are you going to be here? You got to get my I did I I’ll.

01:21:44:06 – 01:21:46:11
Ramsey Venner
See what’s going on and I’ll let you know bro. Like.

01:21:47:14 – 01:21:48:17
Brad Singletary
Oh, noncommittal.

01:21:48:17 – 01:21:51:07
Ramsey Venner
Noncommittal, sober, noncommittal. But now.

01:21:51:27 – 01:21:53:00
Ramsey Venner
You have to make your.

01:21:53:00 – 01:22:07:02
Ramsey Venner
Yes is me. Yes. And you knows, me, know and stand on it because people actually start looking at you. Emmett makes a difference in how you carry yourself and how people interact with you and know what to expect from you.

01:22:07:27 – 01:22:09:17
Ramsey Venner
Yeah, he said no, but I.

01:22:09:17 – 01:22:11:28
Ramsey Venner
Mean if you talk to him again, he might be on something different.

01:22:12:01 – 01:22:25:09
Ramsey Venner
Or yes, he was. You know what I mean? Like, if you just you just you never really stake a position. And for me, I like it because.

01:22:26:01 – 01:22:35:23
Ramsey Venner
I always like being able to, depending on how I’m feeling, make a different outcome. I tell my my family all the time that the best thing in the world to have is options, right?

01:22:36:27 – 01:22:37:18
Ramsey Venner
The best thing.

01:22:37:18 – 01:22:49:13
Ramsey Venner
In the world to have is options. I still stand by that. But how I go about creating options now have to be within the boundaries of what I want my mission to be, where I’m actually trying to take it, where we want to go with it. There’s this an alignment.

01:22:49:13 – 01:22:52:16
Brad Singletary
It doesn’t if it’s not taking you there, you don’t want it now.

01:22:53:19 – 01:23:08:16
Ramsey Venner
Yeah. So the alignment is a big thing. Like alignment is like my, my son is a Sagittarius, right? So that’s the archer. You got to lock in on your target. And even daddy’s like.

01:23:08:16 – 01:23:11:02
Ramsey Venner
Locking my team again.

01:23:11:03 – 01:23:25:05
Ramsey Venner
You lock in on your targeting, and you make all of your moves, all of your conversations, all of your actions toward that desired target. And you’re going to get there if the paces are slow, if you’re crawling sometimes, if you’re, you know, all.

01:23:25:06 – 01:23:26:03
Ramsey Venner
The rolling.

01:23:26:08 – 01:23:28:00
Ramsey Venner
You know, if you’re rolling on your.

01:23:28:00 – 01:23:35:08
Ramsey Venner
Side just to get in that direction, but long as you keep going in that direction, eventually you going to pull up and it’s going to be where you want to be.

01:23:36:11 – 01:23:48:19
Brad Singletary
What’s something that you’re still working on as a man on that, you know, you come a long way, you got all kind of maturity and really great things going on. What’s something you still struggle, but you’re working at?

01:23:48:19 – 01:24:03:27
Ramsey Venner
Saying no is a thing that I’m working on of late deciding what my worth is. Side of what my position is, what my posture is, deciding that some things just aren’t for me do.

01:24:04:03 – 01:24:04:18
Ramsey Venner
Or.

01:24:04:19 – 01:24:28:27
Ramsey Venner
Maybe not the season, maybe not. No. They don’t have value if they don’t have value to me, if they don’t have value to my mission, if they don’t add value to where I want to take my family, then it’s getting easier and easier to make those decisions. I know it’s not doing it. And then I mean, like or, I mean, it could be an opportunity.

01:24:29:04 – 01:24:35:02
Ramsey Venner
Yeah, maybe if, you know, I had a a little stronger back maybe I take that on to buddies.

01:24:35:18 – 01:24:50:28
Brad Singletary
That are just jumping right on, right on to anything that comes along. Like I love the Code by Warren Buffett that said that the difference between successful people and extremely successful is that extremely successful people say no to almost everything.

01:24:50:28 – 01:24:51:08
Ramsey Venner
Yeah.

01:24:52:07 – 01:25:02:22
Brad Singletary
And that’s that’s that’s difficulty for me to just say no. But it’s funny because think about you think about some rich successful person. They, they know how to say no.

01:25:03:01 – 01:25:04:07
Ramsey Venner
You know, all day long. No.

01:25:05:01 – 01:25:05:26
Ramsey Venner
That’s, that’s it.

01:25:06:10 – 01:25:06:14
Ramsey Venner
For.

01:25:07:01 – 01:25:07:14
Brad Singletary
Me, you know.

01:25:07:14 – 01:25:08:16
Ramsey Venner
Really. No. Yeah.

01:25:09:00 – 01:25:10:11
Ramsey Venner
They got people to say no.

01:25:10:23 – 01:25:11:14
Brad Singletary
That’s what he.

01:25:12:16 – 01:25:12:25
Ramsey Venner
Did.

01:25:12:25 – 01:25:15:05
Brad Singletary
To just answer the phone and tell everybody no. Okay.

01:25:15:05 – 01:25:31:24
Ramsey Venner
As of the fall, tell them what I know, you know. But you have to put yourself in a position that. That’s right. The opportunity that you have. Right. Because as we’re striving and as we’re growing and we’re trying to put it together now, the way I feel like I got here is by saying yes to everything. You made me dinner at three in the morning bed.

01:25:31:24 – 01:25:35:24
Ramsey Venner
I got it with you. This a whole hospital by myself?

01:25:35:24 – 01:25:39:26
Ramsey Venner
Yeah, I’ll do it, you know? I mean, I’m just that that’s how I got.

01:25:39:26 – 01:25:41:04
Ramsey Venner
To the place that I’m.

01:25:41:20 – 01:25:44:04
Ramsey Venner
That I’m at right now, where we have employees.

01:25:44:04 – 01:25:55:15
Ramsey Venner
And have relationships. And we’re doing business on every part of this city. And we have vehicles that are there now. And any time I click on my phone, I have some people under my label that are.

01:25:55:15 – 01:25:58:00
Ramsey Venner
At work helping me build a.

01:25:58:00 – 01:26:00:19
Ramsey Venner
Future for our family, like their family.

01:26:00:19 – 01:26:08:22
Ramsey Venner
As well, don’t get me wrong. But at the same time, listen, they’re on a clock. I’m I’m talking to you. So this is this is building.

01:26:08:22 – 01:26:10:26
Ramsey Venner
In a different way. But understand.

01:26:10:26 – 01:26:13:09
Ramsey Venner
It took me saying yes to everything.

01:26:13:09 – 01:26:21:00
Ramsey Venner
To get to this place. Now, as it relates to my personal time, as it relates to what I will do with my with my energy and my attention, and.

01:26:21:00 – 01:26:23:13
Brad Singletary
Even in your companies, because you’ve got other people doing some of.

01:26:23:13 – 01:26:32:13
Ramsey Venner
That. Yes. Even as a as it comes to that, it’s we say no when we have to or no when it’s not the right fit or no, because.

01:26:32:13 – 01:26:32:29
Ramsey Venner
I’ve been.

01:26:32:29 – 01:26:36:01
Ramsey Venner
Down that road and I know that it’s not as sweet as it sounds.

01:26:36:18 – 01:26:37:06
Ramsey Venner
You know what I mean?

01:26:37:06 – 01:26:45:17
Ramsey Venner
Like, there’s there’s some jobs where I’m like, oh, I know. I remember that. Nope you know, restaurants no. On doing.

01:26:46:05 – 01:26:49:19
Ramsey Venner
Because while you’re willing to actually pay.

01:26:49:20 – 01:27:05:25
Ramsey Venner
For us to come and do that service the is for me to have my folks going there and night after night after night that don’t work in the restaurant industry. When I remember the nights when I worked in the kitchen and it’s two in the morning, I got to pull up the grates and it’s food and it’s smell and it’s grease.

01:27:06:17 – 01:27:16:28
Ramsey Venner
My folks aren’t going to be able to respond to that every night in the way that I want my company to be represented. So my brand will suffer because we are not able to.

01:27:16:28 – 01:27:17:20
Ramsey Venner
Fulfill.

01:27:18:05 – 01:27:28:13
Ramsey Venner
At the level that we’re supposed to fulfill, like we deliver superior cleaning every time. That’s our tagline, Superior cleaning every time, right? And we do our muster where we do a whole screaming thing.

01:27:28:25 – 01:27:32:22
Ramsey Venner
Every time, every time, every time, every time, all the time, all the.

01:27:32:22 – 01:27:38:15
Ramsey Venner
Time. You know what I mean? And my folks get involved with it because again, when we’re out there and we’re servicing our clients.

01:27:38:24 – 01:27:39:08
Ramsey Venner
You don’t want.

01:27:39:08 – 01:27:42:01
Ramsey Venner
Them to feel like, you know, these dudes came and found it.

01:27:42:03 – 01:27:43:25
Brad Singletary
Easy to cut the corners.

01:27:43:25 – 01:27:47:09
Ramsey Venner
Today. And when I look at, you know, what it takes to do a.

01:27:47:09 – 01:27:54:29
Ramsey Venner
Week of restaurant, clean up, it’s not a lot of folks is cut out for that. Like if you’re in the food industry, you know, it comes along with it.

01:27:55:13 – 01:27:56:22
Ramsey Venner
But if you’re playing.

01:27:56:22 – 01:28:03:16
Ramsey Venner
In beautiful buildings and, you know, dealerships and offices and you know what I mean? The church lobby like.

01:28:03:16 – 01:28:07:17
Ramsey Venner
To send you into that hill because like, bro.

01:28:07:29 – 01:28:10:26
Ramsey Venner
I know all the stuff we’re.

01:28:10:26 – 01:28:29:04
Ramsey Venner
I walked out of my job. I walked out of a job because the kitchen was nasty. One time I worked at T.G.I. Fridays. Do you remember to hear from your business now? So listen, I walked into T.G.I. Friday’s. You saw it coming. I was mad. Listen, I was in there cooking and I had that on my in the little appetizer section.

01:28:29:04 – 01:28:43:19
Ramsey Venner
And I’m making what was in the potato skins and buffalo wings. And I’m breezy a mad it’s like 130 in the morning. He’s like, yeah, you got to clean out. The fried of grease is still 350 degrees coming in on the day fire right now. Man.

01:28:44:07 – 01:28:45:25
Ramsey Venner
Listen, you got to clean out there, FRYER.

01:28:45:25 – 01:28:51:22
Ramsey Venner
You got to take it. Strain the oil through this thing, take the oil, put it back in. And I’m like, listen.

01:28:52:07 – 01:28:54:21
Ramsey Venner
I’m going to go ahead and take this apron off this.

01:28:55:12 – 01:28:57:16
Brad Singletary
So you are doing janitorial. You worked for two years.

01:28:57:16 – 01:29:01:21
Ramsey Venner
You worked as a cook. And it was just one night we.

01:29:01:21 – 01:29:10:20
Ramsey Venner
Got to slaughter, right. And I was just like, man, I was dumb. You know what I mean? Like, like T.G.I. Friday’s used to pop on the weekends and use that one 3230 in the morning is like.

01:29:10:20 – 01:29:11:02
Ramsey Venner
Going.

01:29:12:02 – 01:29:17:22
Ramsey Venner
It’s done finally. I’ve been working since 5:00. It’s 230 in the morning and now I got.

01:29:17:22 – 01:29:19:05
Ramsey Venner
To go clean out the fryer.

01:29:20:22 – 01:29:24:19
Ramsey Venner
Listen, man. I’m going to go home.

01:29:24:19 – 01:29:38:10
Brad Singletary
I worked at it. I worked at a Pizza Hut in Florida and it was really well run. I was like 18, 19. And then I moved to another state and worked at a Pizza Hut. I came in or one day as opener. Yeah. And I was able to get the dough going and all this and I left as such a mess.

01:29:38:10 – 01:29:51:04
Brad Singletary
I quit the job, I just left. They walked in, the manager came in 11. There were no no food ready. Yeah, I just left it on standby. I can’t do it so clean. Free. That’s the name of your company. That’s. Are you a clean freak?

01:29:51:13 – 01:29:55:22
Ramsey Venner
I used to be a lot more of a clean freak. And then I started having babies.

01:29:56:00 – 01:29:59:05
Brad Singletary
So now it’s all good. It’s just. We’ll get that. We’ll get.

01:29:59:09 – 01:30:19:01
Ramsey Venner
It. It’s in general, in my personal life, things that we, you know, maintain a high standard for everything as it relates to, you know, business and our clients. But at my house, like, you know, like I told you, there’s so many so much time taken away by being in the world and building business like you just want to be around your people.

01:30:19:01 – 01:30:22:15
Ramsey Venner
So you still go nuts? Yeah. Yeah, I’m still.

01:30:23:25 – 01:30:24:07
Ramsey Venner
I’m sitting.

01:30:24:07 – 01:30:33:21
Ramsey Venner
Here taking it. But then, you know, me and my wife, we blow staff blessing around the house like we make the kids clean up. I mean, you can’t just live in squalor.

01:30:33:22 – 01:30:34:18
Ramsey Venner
And still live where you.

01:30:34:18 – 01:30:38:26
Brad Singletary
Travel. I already met your wife. I didn’t know that place pretty well.

01:30:39:02 – 01:30:40:09
Ramsey Venner
Yeah, she runs a tight ship.

01:30:40:12 – 01:31:02:05
Brad Singletary
Tell me, man. Well, last question for you, bro. What is the most Alpha thing about you? What attribute, what gift you know, what talent can you really own? Or more than one, but what the most Alpha things about you, the things that are just special about you and that you don’t apologize, that that is a special the strength you have.

01:31:02:20 – 01:31:21:10
Ramsey Venner
I just I think I’ve always had the mentality that if any man can do it, then I can do it. I don’t care what it is. I don’t care if it’s it’s climbing a building like it was jumping on a plane. I don’t care if he’s starting a business. I don’t care if it’s, you know, learning how to balance budget.

01:31:21:24 – 01:31:41:09
Ramsey Venner
I just don’t. The only difference between me and Elon Musk is information. He’s got information that I haven’t got yet. He’s got access to information that I haven’t been given yet or that I haven’t sought out yet. I don’t know the questions to ask exactly. But if there’s something that I want in this world, I can have it.

01:31:41:09 – 01:31:58:25
Ramsey Venner
And I don’t apologize for it. I don’t apologize. And the other part about me, I’m that dude is going to go get it. I don’t care about sleep. I don’t care about like, you know, people’s perception of me. Work too hard. You need to relax. You needed I mean, I take you from my wife. That’s it.

01:31:58:25 – 01:32:01:17
Ramsey Venner
But anybody else telling me how.

01:32:01:17 – 01:32:07:26
Ramsey Venner
I see, you know, adjudicate my time and what I should do with my time to my attention, I don’t bar.

01:32:08:02 – 01:32:12:28
Brad Singletary
Your homies mad at you this, Duke. Busy. He got kids. He got a business. He tried to hang out.

01:32:13:16 – 01:32:28:23
Ramsey Venner
I don’t I know people like that. Anybody that’s just trying to hang out, that’s that’s that’s long since gone. Like, I had those type of folks when I was sitting in prison, you know, because again, okay, that’s the time to hang out with. Since I’ve touched down, I.

01:32:28:23 – 01:32:29:03
Ramsey Venner
Haven’t.

01:32:29:17 – 01:32:32:20
Ramsey Venner
Like there’s folks that will either go because they got their own.

01:32:32:20 – 01:32:35:13
Ramsey Venner
Thing going. Yeah. And we can commute.

01:32:35:13 – 01:32:47:04
Ramsey Venner
And talking and maybe go get lunch on that level or you tell me what’s going on with you and I’ll tell you what’s going on with me. How can we help each other? Like I have business partners. I got people that I do bills and commitments with.

01:32:47:19 – 01:32:48:19
Ramsey Venner
I don’t have.

01:32:48:19 – 01:33:05:06
Ramsey Venner
A lot of slack. Nothing like recreational basketball team seemed like, cumbersome to me. I was like, well, yes, only my kids and my business to go shoot around a hoop. This is just where I’ve kind of trained and.

01:33:05:11 – 01:33:08:10
Ramsey Venner
I don’t know. I don’t have that.

01:33:09:04 – 01:33:11:24
Ramsey Venner
Feeling like I’m approaching burnout or you know what I.

01:33:11:24 – 01:33:15:19
Ramsey Venner
Mean? I love what I do. I love my wife. I love how.

01:33:15:25 – 01:33:22:29
Ramsey Venner
How every day there’s a different challenge. I wish a lot of it was, you know, easier or are all put together.

01:33:22:29 – 01:33:24:00
Ramsey Venner
Are already done.

01:33:24:09 – 01:33:27:20
Ramsey Venner
But I realize right now in the fire I’m building.

01:33:28:16 – 01:33:43:18
Brad Singletary
The journey is the destination, right? Yes. I mean, like. That’s all right. This is the beauty of it. Yes, sir. The outcome is right now you’re right now you’re you’re learning and growing. You lighten everything up on the inside as you watch it happen, you’re figuring out a big old puzzle.

01:33:43:26 – 01:33:44:09
Ramsey Venner
Yes.

01:33:44:09 – 01:34:00:18
Brad Singletary
How to be a man, how to be a father, how to be alive and how to be an entrepreneur. You know how to keep your faith, how to do all the things that are just going to bring you peace and happiness. I love what you’ve done with your life, man. I love what you’re. It’s even more impressive than I knew it would have been here talking to you tonight.

01:34:00:18 – 01:34:02:11
Brad Singletary
I definitely want to have you back, man.

01:34:02:17 – 01:34:03:08
Ramsey Venner
Any time you.

01:34:03:08 – 01:34:10:25
Brad Singletary
Got you have. You definitely have. You just got a great voice. You’ve got a great story. You got wisdom. I just man, we’re going to I want to.

01:34:11:03 – 01:34:28:10
Ramsey Venner
Give an inside man. We give a lay low, man. That’s all it is, man. We give life and love and we’re just going to keep putting it out there. Listen, anybody who’s listening to this program right now, I’m going to do a solid because my dude is like my brother from another mother. Listen, you guys want to get into the janitorial space.

01:34:28:21 – 01:34:30:21
Ramsey Venner
Even if you don’t want, to get into the janitorial space.

01:34:30:21 – 01:34:31:01
Ramsey Venner
If you.

01:34:31:01 – 01:34:31:25
Ramsey Venner
Want to create.

01:34:32:07 – 01:34:34:14
Ramsey Venner
A business, the semi passive that.

01:34:34:14 – 01:34:35:12
Ramsey Venner
Can help you.

01:34:35:20 – 01:34:39:19
Ramsey Venner
Change the course of your family like clean freak is done for me.

01:34:39:19 – 01:34:45:21
Ramsey Venner
I want to give you a copy of our free e-book. Okay? Just all of the folks that are out there in the Alpha.

01:34:45:21 – 01:34:48:20
Ramsey Venner
Quorum, all of the Alphas that are out there listening. This is for you.

01:34:48:20 – 01:34:49:28
Ramsey Venner
Bro right now.

01:34:49:28 – 01:34:53:08
Ramsey Venner
Go to Ramsey Venter r msci.

01:34:53:08 – 01:34:55:06
Ramsey Venner
V an e r dot.

01:34:55:06 – 01:34:56:16
Ramsey Venner
Com forward slash.

01:34:56:17 – 01:34:59:26
Ramsey Venner
E-Book. Okay, take that e-book for free.

01:34:59:26 – 01:35:02:15
Ramsey Venner
That’s on me. I’m giving you guys that code right now.

01:35:02:15 – 01:35:03:16
Ramsey Venner
You get the e-book.

01:35:03:27 – 01:35:07:11
Ramsey Venner
Follow the steps. We have a webinar that’s out there, 30 minute webinar.

01:35:07:11 – 01:35:09:07
Ramsey Venner
I tell you everything you’re going to me.

01:35:09:17 – 01:35:11:29
Ramsey Venner
Everything that you’re going to learn inside of our program.

01:35:12:07 – 01:35:17:04
Ramsey Venner
You like that? Go ahead and follow that trail and get the program.

01:35:17:04 – 01:35:18:22
Ramsey Venner
Blueprint of janitorial success.

01:35:19:07 – 01:35:24:13
Ramsey Venner
Every step that it took us to get there and I’m going to personally help you did.

01:35:24:13 – 01:35:25:02
Ramsey Venner
Your first.

01:35:25:02 – 01:35:26:13
Ramsey Venner
Couple of clients and get.

01:35:26:13 – 01:35:30:08
Ramsey Venner
You started in the janitorial space. I don’t want you to be a front line worker. This is.

01:35:30:08 – 01:35:30:28
Ramsey Venner
Not that.

01:35:30:28 – 01:35:31:12
Ramsey Venner
This is not.

01:35:31:12 – 01:35:34:24
Ramsey Venner
About getting out there and and get your.

01:35:34:24 – 01:35:36:25
Brad Singletary
Job as a yeah. This is not the.

01:35:36:25 – 01:35:46:06
Ramsey Venner
Kind of job I’m going to show you how to create a somewhat passive business, a semi passive business that will get you thousands a month.

01:35:47:03 – 01:35:56:06
Ramsey Venner
Tens of thousands a month where you can change what you’re doing. You’re making four or five grand. It’s a job right now. You’re working eight, ten, 15 hours a day unsatisfied. You don’t like.

01:35:56:06 – 01:35:56:21
Ramsey Venner
Where you live.

01:35:56:21 – 01:35:58:27
Ramsey Venner
You don’t like where you drive. You don’t like who you’re talking to.

01:35:59:05 – 01:36:01:09
Ramsey Venner
Okay, we’ll get on board with this blueprint.

01:36:01:09 – 01:36:02:15
Ramsey Venner
Of janitorial success.

01:36:02:28 – 01:36:12:10
Ramsey Venner
Take that. Learn the lessons that we’ve put together. I’ve already done the work for you. You just got to follow suit. There’s videos. There’s videos from people on my team.

01:36:12:10 – 01:36:14:03
Ramsey Venner
Testimonials from people will tell you.

01:36:14:03 – 01:36:16:20
Ramsey Venner
Exactly how we did it. I stand on the things that we.

01:36:16:20 – 01:36:17:16
Ramsey Venner
Put in this video.

01:36:17:25 – 01:36:20:13
Ramsey Venner
You take a look at that blueprint of janitorial success.

01:36:20:13 – 01:36:23:18
Ramsey Venner
Follow yourself down that path. Listen, I’m going to personally.

01:36:23:18 – 01:36:28:05
Ramsey Venner
Be your coach to help you get to where you need to be and start.

01:36:28:05 – 01:36:30:18
Ramsey Venner
Making passive income in the janitorial space.

01:36:30:22 – 01:36:35:15
Ramsey Venner
I guarantee you you will love everything that you see. And if you follow the.

01:36:35:15 – 01:36:39:14
Ramsey Venner
Steps that you’ve that we’ve put together in this program, it will change your life.

01:36:40:01 – 01:36:49:22
Brad Singletary
Dude, I love it. I want to make sure we usually post this on Thursday, so I’ll make sure I have the links and everything I got to get a cool picture of you and I appreciate you being here. Ramsey. You just you.

01:36:49:28 – 01:36:50:07
Ramsey Venner
As.

01:36:50:07 – 01:37:08:08
Brad Singletary
Luis telling you, man, this has been remarkable to me. It’s amazing to me how these episodes keep getting better and better. We’re on like I think this is maybe 98,000. So 98 now we’ve been at this for years. I’m just like, you blow him away, dude. I’m. I’m sitting over here, got the goose bumps listening to what you shared.

01:37:08:19 – 01:37:13:15
Brad Singletary
Thank you so much, man. We want to get your links out there, your your social media, whatever you want to share.

01:37:13:15 – 01:37:13:28
Ramsey Venner
Yeah.

01:37:13:28 – 01:37:28:05
Brad Singletary
And I’ll support you. Do a man. If there’s something I can do, dude, I will. I’ll help you in whatever way I can. So. Absolutely. Thank you for being here, man. I really appreciate it. And you guys. Here’s a story of a man who had every reason to give up.

01:37:28:19 – 01:37:28:29
Ramsey Venner
The.

01:37:29:25 – 01:37:51:12
Brad Singletary
Continue continuous arrests, continuous trouble, substance use was a problem. I’m sure the ladies were a problem. Oh, yeah. You know, you got yourself into trouble. You know, you were a high profile person as an athlete and and all that came crashing down. You learn some humility. Picked up a good book in in the big house.

01:37:51:13 – 01:37:52:06
Ramsey Venner
Yeah. You know.

01:37:52:06 – 01:38:12:03
Brad Singletary
And made a big life for yourself and are making a big life for yourself because the result of those things we use in other men. You asked me questions about things. I hear you talking to these other men and really pursuing their wisdom and and you you just it’s it’s special. It’s a privilege for me to sit here and listen to you, man.

01:38:12:03 – 01:38:20:27
Brad Singletary
I can’t wait to hear this whole thing put together. I don’t think I have one. I don’t think I have one. I think I’ve coughed or maybe I farted in there somewhere, but I.

01:38:21:12 – 01:38:22:08
Ramsey Venner
Was like, Maybe it’s just.

01:38:22:08 – 01:38:26:14
Brad Singletary
Smooth. This is so smooth. I love how you’ve spoken. You’re a nightmare. I appreciate it, Ramsey.

01:38:26:14 – 01:38:27:17
Ramsey Venner
Appreciate you guys.

01:38:27:17 – 01:38:36:06
Brad Singletary
Until next time, no excuses. Alpha Up.

01:38:36:06 – 01:38:40:03
Outro
Gentlemen, you are the Alpha and this is the Alpha Quorum.

00:00:00:00 – 00:00:00:18
Ramsey Venner
Rain in a church.

00:00:00:26 – 00:00:01:25
Brad Singletary
How did you meet the pastor?

00:00:02:10 – 00:00:03:15
Ramsey Venner
He was. He was a client.

00:00:03:19 – 00:00:04:14
Ramsey Venner
At the office.

00:00:04:14 – 00:00:05:07
Brad Singletary
House. Okay.

00:00:06:02 – 00:00:07:14
Ramsey Venner
I was. I waited on his table.

00:00:08:09 – 00:00:28:04
Brad Singletary
See this? This whole story, man. This whole thing is about opportunity. Yeah. You’re coming out of prison. You’re trying to work. You know you want more. You’re just talking to the guy. Probably being a good waiter, just having friendly conversation. He’s a pastor. Invited you to church. You go there. Rolling your eyes. Maybe not trying to go to church, but you do.

00:00:28:12 – 00:00:28:21
Ramsey Venner
Yeah.

00:00:28:22 – 00:00:30:11
Brad Singletary
And then he gives you an opportunity.

00:00:30:13 – 00:00:30:23
Ramsey Venner
Yeah.

00:00:30:24 – 00:00:34:06
Brad Singletary
And then you capitalize on that. So where did it go from there? Where is your business now?

00:00:34:17 – 00:00:57:24
Ramsey Venner
And we just celebrated our fourth year anniversary. We are up to 17 employees. I’m on my second office. We have bands now that go all over the city, a 24 hour operation. We do residential cleaning and we do residential, commercial and post-construction cleaning. To date, I haven’t spent a dollar on marketing or advertising, and we’re approaching $1,000,000 a year in sales, dude.

00:00:58:11 – 00:01:22:28
Intro
If you’re a man that controls his own destiny, but man, that is always in the pursuit of being better. You are in the right place. You are responsible. You are strong. You are a leader. You are a force for good. Gentlemen, this is the Alpha Quorum.

00:01:26:05 – 00:01:44:06
Brad Singletary
Welcome back to the Alpha Quorum Show, Brad Singletary here. I’m super excited about our guest today. I want to tell you a little bit about him. First of all, he’s 43 years old. He owns three businesses here in Las Vegas. He’s a father of six children. He’s the head coach of a six and under tackle football team.

00:01:45:15 – 00:02:08:03
Brad Singletary
He has a college degree in business administration, lettered in football and basketball at Fresno State University. Out of high school, he got a full ride offer between college and when he started his businesses. He spent nine years in prison. We’re going to talk about his journey and the ways that he’s turned himself around. These are the best kind of stories.

00:02:08:03 – 00:02:29:00
Brad Singletary
This is the best kind of man that I know, 43 year old dad who’s just out there getting it done, making big things happen in business, has a beautiful wife, a beautiful family working on a beautiful business. It’s multiple businesses that these guys are operating. We’re going to have him share some of that with us. Gentlemen, please welcome Ramsey Venter.

00:02:29:14 – 00:02:31:00
Ramsey Venner
To serve in the building.

00:02:31:15 – 00:02:33:00
Brad Singletary
Dude, good to have you here.

00:02:33:00 – 00:02:40:09
Ramsey Venner
Good man. This is a pleasure. It’s a pleasure. It’s a blessing. Thanks for the opportunity. And, yeah, man, I’m. I’m. I’m ready to get into it.

00:02:40:10 – 00:02:48:08
Brad Singletary
We’ll get it. We’ll get a picture. They’ll have a view of you from the from the little cover graphic. But, dude, how tall are you?

00:02:48:08 – 00:03:00:18
Ramsey Venner
I’m six, six one. I was in plan weight. I think I was like 285 to 90. If I stay away from the donuts, I can get it like a slim to 76.

00:03:00:18 – 00:03:04:15
Ramsey Venner
And I’m you know so as we go.

00:03:04:19 – 00:03:08:27
Brad Singletary
So Fresno State play football at Fresno State. Derek Carr went to Fresno State.

00:03:08:27 – 00:03:29:06
Ramsey Venner
Right, sir? I play with the car. I play with Michael Pittman. I play with a lot of dudes, man. Bernard Berrien, Charles Smith, Anthony Lambrecht, man. I just the list goes on to some some real solid cars, guys, that made a lot of noise in the NFL. And just, you know, a lot of us are still brothers today.

00:03:29:16 – 00:03:56:20
Ramsey Venner
That’s a mars and still my brother, man, we chop it up on a on a regular he’s actually pushing a really good program up in the bay are like I think Stockton California type area and he’s a defensive coordinator or DB coach for Key Central Coast or something like that. I’m not sure. But yeah man, I got a solid, solid crew around me and you know, I come from a pedigree of of amazing, amazing people, man.

00:03:56:22 – 00:04:01:15
Ramsey Venner
Pat Hill was my coach at Fresno State. I even played under Coach Jerry Tarkanian.

00:04:01:19 – 00:04:02:09
Ramsey Venner
Wow.

00:04:02:10 – 00:04:06:14
Ramsey Venner
Yeah. I walked onto the basketball team.

00:04:07:02 – 00:04:20:07
Brad Singletary
So in in your coaching, we talked a little bit before the show. You’re coaching your son’s six year old football team, the Henderson Cowboys. My son was on that team in the six you team and they won the national championship.

00:04:20:07 – 00:04:21:22
Ramsey Venner
In the championship?

00:04:21:29 – 00:04:28:02
Brad Singletary
Yeah. They were down in San Diego all weekend tournament and yeah, he got a ring and everything. Man, it was pretty that, that.

00:04:28:11 – 00:04:30:01
Ramsey Venner
That’s big shoes to fill, but it’s.

00:04:30:01 – 00:04:34:23
Brad Singletary
An elite team that was like, what, eight years ago now? So yeah, now good times. That stuff is fun.

00:04:35:00 – 00:04:53:05
Ramsey Venner
Listen, I went out there trying to do, you know, just the game silo involved. And the idea was, you know, I was going to but I’m just not a sideline dude. And I sat out there and I was watching the coaches and like, you know, kind of seeing him lose his way. He started playing with bugs in grass, and I’m like.

00:04:53:12 – 00:04:53:21
Ramsey Venner
I got.

00:04:53:21 – 00:05:08:11
Ramsey Venner
To get my dude involved. So, you know, I volunteered to coach on a seven year team because they had all as soon as I got out there and the director of our program saw that, you know, I had a little taste for trying to do something more with the kids. He was like, Yeah, so we’re going to start up at six.

00:05:08:11 – 00:05:16:04
Ramsey Venner
You and you are going to be the color coach. And I was like.

00:05:16:04 – 00:05:16:15
Ramsey Venner
Damn it.

00:05:16:22 – 00:05:20:02
Brad Singletary
I bet they love it. I bet you’re good at it. I mean, how you doing this year? How you started.

00:05:20:02 – 00:05:31:17
Ramsey Venner
Playing the first game yesterday? And we, we, we, we took on the first one, but it gave us a lot to work with when I’ve never been a head coach before and learning the rules, you know, it’s eight on eight.

00:05:31:18 – 00:05:32:00
Ramsey Venner
Yeah.

00:05:33:01 – 00:05:44:18
Ramsey Venner
That the key the other team we were trying to, you know, respect the rules of football and we’re going to have, you know, our linebackers stand back and play their position. And these dudes lined up six people on the line and blitzed every play.

00:05:44:18 – 00:05:46:26
Ramsey Venner
And I was like, That ain’t football.

00:05:47:23 – 00:05:50:16
Ramsey Venner
But yeah, we’ve got a lot of work to do, so we’re going to get it right.

00:05:51:05 – 00:05:59:13
Brad Singletary
So you went to college, played some ball, both football and basketball at Fresno State. You’re you’re running three businesses now. Tell us about those.

00:06:00:04 – 00:06:20:01
Ramsey Venner
Yeah. So, man, 2018, I came to Las Vegas and you know, it was a long, bumpy road. I lived in Reno before that and I was getting in trouble in Reno. And now for transparency, I went to prison a bunch of times for, you know, DUIs. And this I was trying to find my way. And I couldn’t I couldn’t get it right.

00:06:20:01 – 00:06:29:20
Ramsey Venner
I couldn’t last one of the things I joke about with my wife now is that I used to always just listen. If I could get through the summer.

00:06:29:20 – 00:06:30:19
Ramsey Venner
If I could get through.

00:06:30:19 – 00:06:32:20
Ramsey Venner
The summer, then you know it’s going to be.

00:06:32:20 – 00:06:33:05
Ramsey Venner
All good.

00:06:33:05 – 00:06:52:03
Ramsey Venner
Right? And that’s how low the ceiling was for me for a minute. Boy, like all I just wanted to do is if I could just get through one summer of just, you know, not being a knucklehead, then that’s going to be a good summer for me. Or it might be a good year, really. That’s that was, by my calculation, I’m so 2018.

00:06:52:03 – 00:07:14:27
Ramsey Venner
I came to Las Vegas. I was tired of getting in trouble in Reno. I put my my head down. I started as a server for Kings Fish House right here in Henderson. I worked at Kings Beach House as a server, working my way up to a trainer, got promoted into management. It was actually my first management job and the entire time, I mean, like this was coming off of a seven year skid.

00:07:14:27 – 00:07:16:03
Ramsey Venner
Well, like I was away for a.

00:07:16:03 – 00:07:16:29
Ramsey Venner
Minute, right.

00:07:17:07 – 00:07:20:05
Ramsey Venner
And got into the world. And I just say, you know.

00:07:20:28 – 00:07:26:00
Ramsey Venner
With that being my life previous, anything outside of that.

00:07:26:16 – 00:07:33:22
Ramsey Venner
I’ll take it. I didn’t care about how long I worked. I didn’t care about how much I made really. I didn’t I was just like.

00:07:34:22 – 00:07:37:25
Ramsey Venner
Anything to not be, you know, in that.

00:07:37:25 – 00:08:03:22
Ramsey Venner
Box, in that situation, in that, you know, eight by ten room with another grown man like that’s going to be a better life for me. And legit man. I just, I poured into the job. I let them pour into me. They gave me, you know, so much insight and understanding about how to be you know, in a position of leadership and how to, you know, work with people and manage schedules.

00:08:03:22 – 00:08:26:14
Ramsey Venner
And like, I just was like I so everything I could in I started my first business going for janitorial. June 18th, 2018, like about six months out, I was just so eager to be in business for myself, you know, it was a side hustle, but I was like, I know if I came, I could just keep at it.

00:08:26:14 – 00:08:42:22
Ramsey Venner
If I could just keep at it, it’s going to be all right. It’s just I need to start something. And and we started out doing a couple of residential spots up here in Henderson, and the guy had like three real, real nice houses, five, six bedroom houses over there off of Warm Springs.

00:08:43:02 – 00:08:44:23
Ramsey Venner
And but he had.

00:08:45:11 – 00:08:48:16
Ramsey Venner
House packed and we’re all of the different people that lived in.

00:08:48:16 – 00:08:48:25
Ramsey Venner
There.

00:08:49:04 – 00:08:50:13
Ramsey Venner
Didn’t know any of the other people.

00:08:50:27 – 00:08:52:23
Brad Singletary
All like separate units in there.

00:08:52:23 – 00:09:07:12
Ramsey Venner
So yeah, yeah, yeah. But there was like it’s just bedrooms. So basically we took that and turned it into, you know, he wanted me to do two common areas and my only request was I think at first I didn’t know how to bid. I didn’t know how much work was involved. I didn’t know if it was going to be a good look.

00:09:07:22 – 00:09:23:17
Ramsey Venner
I just said, Listen, can you put the name clean for janitorial? Lemme check. So I cared about bro, send the checks and a check to the company. And he was like, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he’s getting over on me. I mean, I’m telling you, I did.

00:09:24:17 – 00:09:25:19
Brad Singletary
You got took, bro.

00:09:25:19 – 00:09:26:29
Ramsey Venner
I got I got sick for a while.

00:09:26:29 – 00:09:33:20
Ramsey Venner
Right, right. And I used to get dude, I mean, the trash would be stacked up to trash cans because everybody’s walking by each other.

00:09:33:20 – 00:09:48:21
Ramsey Venner
They don’t know each other in the house like you in a regular family is a dynamic way. We’re not going to leave the house looking like this or, you know, if everybody’s nasty in a family, that’s the family. But like, usually if there’s a mom, there’s a dad or somebody saying, don’t leave the house, like just pick up your clothes.

00:09:48:29 – 00:09:58:07
Ramsey Venner
There was none of that in this place, right? So there’s some people maybe smoking weed in the living room. Some people, you know what I mean? Trash in the bathroom is a female. That’s a stripper.

00:09:58:07 – 00:10:02:15
Ramsey Venner
It is a it was sure it was a situation.

00:10:02:15 – 00:10:05:10
Brad Singletary
Where you doing the in the beginning you’re doing the clean every day.

00:10:05:23 – 00:10:22:22
Ramsey Venner
You know, I showed up in this house and, you know, put my gloves on and I’m cleaning common areas like sweep, mop restrooms, the worst of the worst. Right. And taking out the trash, cleaning the kids and getting a greasy stove. Everything blow out the microwave, everything. Didn’t care. And this is after.

00:10:22:22 – 00:10:29:06
Ramsey Venner
Doing a six, seven, eight hour day working. Then after I got promoted to manager, a 14 hour.

00:10:29:06 – 00:10:30:18
Ramsey Venner
Day working and then.

00:10:30:21 – 00:10:38:01
Brad Singletary
Oh, you working at the fish house. Yeah. For a full time job. Yeah. And then you run in this little business. Of course. Now you clean up people’s bathrooms at night.

00:10:38:22 – 00:10:44:20
Ramsey Venner
Bro, like, or somebody in the morning early or Sunday morning early. Yeah, whatever it took and.

00:10:46:01 – 00:11:00:07
Ramsey Venner
Just started talking to my clients while I was there. I was talking my, you know, anybody I could and I was telling them about, you know, my, my, my dream to start another, another business or this little small business that I got going. I don’t know how to get clients, but, you know, look, this is this is what we could do for a year.

00:11:00:08 – 00:11:19:11
Ramsey Venner
This is what I want to do, you know, give us a shot, give me an opportunity. And I got a couple of, like the regular clients that I had. They gave me that side. And I ended up talking to senior pastor Vance Pittman from Hope Church. Great guy, my brother. To this day, I’m talking about my my legit like I feel we’re kindred spirits like me.

00:11:19:11 – 00:11:23:21
Ramsey Venner
And you bro. Like I say, same same vibe where I met him.

00:11:24:13 – 00:11:27:20
Ramsey Venner
You know, totally. Like, it just was like. It was like good chemistry.

00:11:27:21 – 00:11:28:00
Ramsey Venner
Mm.

00:11:28:11 – 00:11:39:03
Ramsey Venner
He’s got a beautiful family. I didn’t even know how big of a dude like. Like in relation to who he was, right? It just he was like, yeah, I’m a part of a church. And I was like, Oh, damn.

00:11:39:03 – 00:11:39:26
Ramsey Venner
That’s good, bro.

00:11:39:26 – 00:11:40:28
Ramsey Venner
And like, you know.

00:11:40:28 – 00:11:52:15
Ramsey Venner
Jesus was like, I met him before I heard him. I think there’s a book about him or something, you know, like this. I was giving it up for him in that regard.

00:11:52:15 – 00:11:54:05
Ramsey Venner
And then I talked to him. He was like, I’m.

00:11:55:09 – 00:11:56:15
Ramsey Venner
Well, look, man, you know.

00:11:57:01 – 00:12:06:29
Ramsey Venner
I said, maybe answer one. You got to come to church. I said, okay, but so I came down and checked by the church and, you know, he was like, How did you like service the next time I saw me? And I was like, it was dope. I was like, I.

00:12:07:13 – 00:12:08:23
Ramsey Venner
I know I’m, you know.

00:12:09:23 – 00:12:16:25
Ramsey Venner
All right. I’ll tell you, I’m like I did in Haiti, and that’s all I had. And he was like, I’m, I’m, I’m will probably introduce you to.

00:12:16:25 – 00:12:17:06
Ramsey Venner
Lou.

00:12:17:18 – 00:12:23:28
Ramsey Venner
Or our facilities guy over there and you know, I don’t know if anything is going to come of it. Just talk to him. So I met.

00:12:23:28 – 00:12:25:06
Ramsey Venner
Him, talked to him.

00:12:25:25 – 00:12:44:21
Ramsey Venner
And nothing happened from from right off but he was another guy vibed with real tough. And actually to this day he’s still my mentor and but you know, I met him, talked to him and, you know, told my my desire was to be in business for myself. And, you know, I didn’t have a family. And I have like I was dating a girl.

00:12:44:21 – 00:12:58:26
Ramsey Venner
That’s all I had. And he was like, Oh, I’m so this is a big job, man. You know what I mean? It’s not a small place. I require this and I require that. I said, Well, I got nothing else going on, man. So whatever you require, I’m a do it. And that was it, you know what I mean?

00:12:58:26 – 00:13:02:11
Ramsey Venner
I was like, That’s it. And that’s my attitude towards it. Like he’s like, killer. He was like, What.

00:13:02:11 – 00:13:03:06
Ramsey Venner
Are you will? You know.

00:13:03:06 – 00:13:20:10
Ramsey Venner
What about your other gig? I would say, I’ll handle it. That’s on me to worry about. If you give me the opportunity, I’m going to do whatever it is that you need. I am legit. It took about five months where I didn’t hear anything. I kept calling, I kept checking back and I. Yeah, we haven’t done anything. We haven’t decided.

00:13:20:10 – 00:13:33:03
Ramsey Venner
I’m gonna give this guy a chance. And I’m, you know, the express that he was having some kind of bouts with this current provider. But as I’ve gotten in the business, I learned is something that, you know, happens. You take your eyes off the ball, take your eyes off the prize, and you know.

00:13:33:11 – 00:13:34:15
Ramsey Venner
It can get where.

00:13:34:24 – 00:13:37:04
Ramsey Venner
Your clients are, wondering how important they are to you.

00:13:37:13 – 00:13:38:05
Ramsey Venner
Right? Yeah.

00:13:38:11 – 00:13:54:03
Ramsey Venner
So, yeah, that was going on. It took a bunch of months. I kept working at the first house, I started getting other little clients and then one day I got a call and he was like, Hey, so come on over here. I want to talk to you about something. And I was like, and listen.

00:13:54:17 – 00:13:55:13
Ramsey Venner
Today, you know, I.

00:13:55:13 – 00:14:23:03
Ramsey Venner
Made a couple like 100 bucks here, 100 bucks there, but it wasn’t like anything super significant. It was like I had a couple of people that were dialing my number on a regular and enough to where, you know, it even started interfering with work a little bit like I’m getting because now I’ve learned how to put out my ads or I’ve made up a little flier or something saying, you know, come check me out or we’re we’re doing a special for spring cleaning.

00:14:23:08 – 00:14:37:03
Ramsey Venner
Anything, you mean? Little thing that I can’t cause I’m trying to build my business. Anyway, at one point he was like, Yeah, come on over here and let’s talk about it. So I get over there and I talk to him and he’s like, you know, you think you can handle this? And I was like.

00:14:37:19 – 00:14:38:01
Ramsey Venner
Well.

00:14:39:10 – 00:14:56:07
Ramsey Venner
There’s nothing that’s going to stop me from giving you everything that I got if my best is not good enough. And that’s going to be the only thing because I’m gonna give you my best. And, you know, he basically told me that, you know, we’re going to give you the opportunity. Do you have your paperwork in place? And I need it, my insurance and my, you know, licenses.

00:14:56:16 – 00:15:01:16
Ramsey Venner
I had everything in place at this point. And yeah, that was like one of my first big ones. And to this.

00:15:01:16 – 00:15:03:19
Brad Singletary
Day, you appreciate that you’re cleaning the church.

00:15:03:24 – 00:15:06:15
Ramsey Venner
Brandon The church, dude. I mean, in the church.

00:15:06:16 – 00:15:07:19
Brad Singletary
Well, how did you meet the pastor?

00:15:08:02 – 00:15:10:17
Ramsey Venner
He was a he was a client at the first house.

00:15:10:17 – 00:15:11:01
Brad Singletary
Okay.

00:15:11:06 – 00:15:13:09
Ramsey Venner
So I was I waited on this table.

00:15:14:04 – 00:15:19:09
Brad Singletary
See this this whole story, man, I’m see, I can already see it shaping up. This whole thing is about opportunity.

00:15:19:14 – 00:15:20:07
Ramsey Venner
Yeah, you’re.

00:15:20:07 – 00:15:35:20
Brad Singletary
Coming out of prison, you’re trying to work. You know, you want more, you’re just talking to the guy. Probably being a good waiter, just having a friendly conversation. He’s a pastor, invited you to church. You go there, rolling your eyes, maybe not trying to go to church, but you do.

00:15:35:28 – 00:15:36:08
Ramsey Venner
Yeah.

00:15:36:08 – 00:15:37:28
Brad Singletary
And then he gives you an opportunity.

00:15:37:28 – 00:15:38:10
Ramsey Venner
Yeah.

00:15:38:11 – 00:15:42:24
Brad Singletary
And then you. And then you then capitalize on that. So where do you go from there? Where where’s your business now?

00:15:42:24 – 00:16:12:00
Ramsey Venner
This is I mean, we’re our fourth year and we just celebrated our fourth year anniversary. 2018 to 2000 is 22. Yeah, yeah. June 18th we celebrated our fourth year in business. We are up to 17 employees. I’m on my second office. We have vans now that go all over the city. We have a 24 hour operation. We do residential cleaning and we do residential, commercial and post-construction cleaning.

00:16:12:00 – 00:16:29:06
Ramsey Venner
We do like like if they go and build a building from the ground up, we’re the people that touch it last before they hand the keys over to the owners. Okay, so we do that. And then one of the things that I’m the most proud of, what it is allowed me to launch my third business, which is blueprints to janitorial success.

00:16:29:11 – 00:16:29:20
Ramsey Venner
Okay.

00:16:29:29 – 00:16:46:02
Ramsey Venner
Now, in those four years, every lesson that I’ve learned, every tape and trick on how to be the best, you know, playing service in the world, you know, reputation. I haven’t to date, I haven’t spent a dollar in marketing or advertising and we’re approaching $1,000,000 a year in sales.

00:16:46:05 – 00:16:49:14
Ramsey Venner
Dude, no. See this?

00:16:49:29 – 00:17:03:06
Brad Singletary
I mean, you got every excuse in the book. Yeah, you got every excuse in the book to just be super average, you know what I mean? Because I’m guessing with the legal background and stuff that makes that was was that a limiting factor with the jobs and stuff coming out?

00:17:04:10 – 00:17:08:24
Ramsey Venner
I mean, a lot of people say that, bro. So I, I don’t know, I.

00:17:08:24 – 00:17:15:27
Ramsey Venner
Just I never accept that as a reality. Right. Of course, you know, I just it just never was my reality. It just I’d.

00:17:15:27 – 00:17:16:15
Ramsey Venner
Never.

00:17:16:29 – 00:17:28:06
Ramsey Venner
I’m a felon. I’ve been a felon for a lot of years. I got jobs every opportunity that I was like from 2000. And I see I started getting in trouble in like 2000.

00:17:28:29 – 00:17:31:12
Brad Singletary
So you just ignored that whole notion.

00:17:31:24 – 00:17:32:10
Ramsey Venner
Why you.

00:17:32:10 – 00:17:32:27
Brad Singletary
Can’t do it?

00:17:33:27 – 00:17:34:22
Ramsey Venner
Well, why accept it?

00:17:34:23 – 00:17:40:20
Ramsey Venner
So tell me that. Why accept it? Why? I say because somebody told me that that’s what I am, that I have to accept that.

00:17:40:21 – 00:17:42:26
Ramsey Venner
Like why?

00:17:43:22 – 00:17:53:15
Ramsey Venner
Because if I accept that label, then I accept everything that comes with it. Oh, yeah, I’m a felon. I’m an ex-felon. I can’t get a job. I can’t be regular. I can’t do anything but continue to get in trouble with crime.

00:17:53:23 – 00:18:00:07
Ramsey Venner
Nah, that’s not how I want to live. I’ve been in a box. I didn’t like it. No, I didn’t like it. It wasn’t cool. Somebody telling me.

00:18:00:19 – 00:18:21:28
Ramsey Venner
You know, the word, the. The most emasculating thing about prison, bro. The most emasculating thing about prison. And as a man, I don’t know if it just is like the same or to deal, but they they try to break you down on day one when you’re there and you got to do the strip out, you know, because they take your clothes or whatever and they hand you somebody else’s underwear, bro.

00:18:22:19 – 00:18:28:25
Ramsey Venner
Somebody else’s. Like these are the underwear that you’re going to. We’re going forward. This is your uniform. This is your new outfit. You follow.

00:18:28:25 – 00:18:29:02
Ramsey Venner
Me.

00:18:29:02 – 00:18:29:19
Brad Singletary
Right?

00:18:30:27 – 00:18:35:21
Ramsey Venner
Yeah, it’ll touch you. Broke it does something to your spirit.

00:18:35:21 – 00:18:38:09
Brad Singletary
Like you don’t get to choose what kind of drowsy.

00:18:38:09 – 00:18:55:06
Ramsey Venner
We’re going to choose. You just don’t wear that. What would you mean? I don’t wear. Didn’t that earns you feel me like they gave me the bad man draws here bro put these on and this is what you or nothing right? They that touch.

00:18:55:06 – 00:18:56:22
Ramsey Venner
Me, bro. That too. And every.

00:18:56:22 – 00:18:57:20
Ramsey Venner
Time you go in here.

00:18:58:21 – 00:19:21:01
Ramsey Venner
Because I win a couple times, I wasn’t like I didn’t learn from it. Like I didn’t get serious time where I thought because it was a DUI, this isn’t that bad. This is, you know, a super serious thing. I’m not robbing people. I’m not out here being a criminal. Criminal? Yeah, I just I got caught drinking and driving, but I had a judge, Judge Brant Adams in the arena.

00:19:22:27 – 00:19:24:23
Ramsey Venner
Him and his prosecutor.

00:19:25:08 – 00:19:26:01
Ramsey Venner
They gave me.

00:19:26:19 – 00:19:34:17
Ramsey Venner
Bro. I remember when I got when I got the time, they changed my life, it making me emotional because it’s like.

00:19:35:16 – 00:19:37:03
Ramsey Venner
They hit me with a bar I had.

00:19:37:03 – 00:19:45:24
Ramsey Venner
Never, like, ever heard before, right? So my lawyer was a paid attorney and I thought I was in good hands and I was like, you know, he came.

00:19:46:17 – 00:19:49:17
Ramsey Venner
When he story came in in the little room before.

00:19:50:00 – 00:19:55:01
Ramsey Venner
Before I went out to get my sentencing. All right, I’m going to look. It’s all good. So we got.

00:19:55:01 – 00:19:55:10
Ramsey Venner
You.

00:19:55:22 – 00:20:08:24
Ramsey Venner
Home. We got all of your letters from your family, and we got all of the information that you gave us about a ten and a and we know that you’re working right now and we see that you’re trying hard. Listen, I’ve talked to the judge. I had previous dealings with him.

00:20:09:14 – 00:20:17:02
Ramsey Venner
This is not this was this a his daughter? Listen, we.

00:20:17:02 – 00:20:18:19
Ramsey Venner
Got relations outside of this.

00:20:18:28 – 00:20:20:24
Ramsey Venner
So he knows.

00:20:21:19 – 00:20:42:05
Ramsey Venner
If I back somebody, then he’s really a good dude. You know, maybe he said you’re going to be okay. Listen, I talked to him and I talked to the prosecutor. No, I went out there. This guy ran this whole thing about, yeah, Mr. Green is working. And, you know, it would be a super detriment to his family. I mean, he’s got a young daughter and right now and, you know, he was the guy that sent away.

00:20:42:05 – 00:20:44:10
Ramsey Venner
His daughter wouldn’t have the benefit.

00:20:44:10 – 00:20:59:10
Ramsey Venner
Of of growing up with her father. And she’s in the critical years of her life. And he lives so hard on that. That was a time his daughter had had some kind of a issue and the judge was there and supported him through his daughter’s issues. So he felt.

00:20:59:10 – 00:21:01:16
Ramsey Venner
Like why relating.

00:21:02:05 – 00:21:11:23
Ramsey Venner
My defense to my daughter, that would tender the judge to give me some kind of favor wherever his play was. Right, right, right.

00:21:11:23 – 00:21:17:25
Ramsey Venner
But he said that rested his case. And then then the D.A. stood up. He said.

00:21:19:12 – 00:21:24:13
Ramsey Venner
Yeah, we heard about Mr. Vinter and his daughter. And, you know how it’d be such a terrible.

00:21:24:13 – 00:21:30:18
Ramsey Venner
Thing when if he was to go away. And I just like to have you take.

00:21:30:18 – 00:21:48:00
Ramsey Venner
A look at Mr. Vendor. Mr. Brennan, if you don’t mind standing up. And I’m like, I stand up and he’s like, you know, like 66, 275, maybe the paperwork here says he’s like £280. You say, Your Honor.

00:21:48:17 – 00:21:49:24
Ramsey Venner
I would be a shame.

00:21:50:13 – 00:21:55:00
Ramsey Venner
If I was that big. And I tried to hide behind a little girl.

00:21:55:00 – 00:22:11:27
Ramsey Venner
I said, Bro, it went downhill with skis over me. Just let me have it, man. Is guy that it that I was the worst being sister you know what I mean? Like I’m talking about he’s.

00:22:11:27 – 00:22:28:14
Ramsey Venner
Like and here’s the he said the thing with DUIs, Your Honor, is that we don’t know who the vic and that kind of hit hard. Right. He was like, you know, if he was a robber, if he was a vic, you know what I mean? We’d have the person, you know, that could point out say he did this, you said.

00:22:28:14 – 00:22:37:14
Ramsey Venner
But when this guy makes the choice to get alcohol in his system and get behind, you know, a 20 £500 vehicle and drive crazy.

00:22:38:14 – 00:22:41:21
Ramsey Venner
We don’t know who he can hurt. We don’t know who he could kill. You don’t know who.

00:22:41:21 – 00:22:50:25
Ramsey Venner
You stared on the freeway. You know what I mean? That just because you were swerving and you did something bad. Yeah, I’m poor, my heart. Out to you right now, bro, because it’s like.

00:22:52:03 – 00:22:53:29
Ramsey Venner
That line.

00:22:55:14 – 00:23:03:06
Ramsey Venner
It resonated with. I thought about my parents, my mom, my dad, anything, my loved ones, you know.

00:23:03:07 – 00:23:04:27
Ramsey Venner
Even being in a life and out.

00:23:04:27 – 00:23:09:07
Ramsey Venner
There like you don’t think about it, somebody swerving and just.

00:23:09:13 – 00:23:11:26
Ramsey Venner
Pick a mass you and just wreck your life.

00:23:11:26 – 00:23:14:04
Ramsey Venner
Don’t wreck your.

00:23:14:04 – 00:23:19:24
Ramsey Venner
Life without you know, you have an anyway you’re not in the wrong and this thing happens to you.

00:23:19:24 – 00:23:27:25
Ramsey Venner
Because somebody else made bad choices. And when that happened to me, I said that whatever came with it and some came with it too.

00:23:28:03 – 00:23:36:27
Ramsey Venner
Yeah, he had in me time like it was sitting around by his jacket. Jimmy He gave me a 6 to 15 year sentence. Wow.

00:23:37:01 – 00:23:59:02
Ramsey Venner
No accident, no death. No person got hurt. This. I came in front of the same judge too many times. 6 to 15 years. He said, look, he said 75 to 120 months. That’s how to give you time. MARINO Right. To 120 months, bro. Like.

00:23:59:27 – 00:24:02:20
Ramsey Venner
I can’t even like I’m like, what are you.

00:24:02:20 – 00:24:05:00
Brad Singletary
Doing, man? You got to do some math for me.

00:24:05:00 – 00:24:11:15
Ramsey Venner
Wait, what is this guy talking to me, bro? Like, are you sick? So anyway, that happened. Well.

00:24:12:11 – 00:24:13:15
Ramsey Venner
Know what I mean?

00:24:13:16 – 00:24:21:21
Brad Singletary
I seems like even in that though, you had a decent attitude about it, like you’re saying, you just accepted whatever, whatever it was.

00:24:22:05 – 00:24:36:05
Ramsey Venner
Well, I mean, at that point, you know, I’ve seen the Court TV shows when you when you go jump over the fence and, you know, try to run up out of here, it was like that or. Yeah. And then so at this.

00:24:36:05 – 00:24:38:19
Ramsey Venner
Size, 62, 52, 70.

00:24:39:10 – 00:24:40:01
Ramsey Venner
I know me and.

00:24:40:01 – 00:24:43:14
Ramsey Venner
The police, if I ever fight them, it’s not going to.

00:24:43:14 – 00:24:44:25
Ramsey Venner
Be a good look for you, boy. Right?

00:24:44:25 – 00:25:05:02
Ramsey Venner
Right. They’re going to call all the cops there and it’s night. So I’ve always been respectful. Actually, my mom taught me that because she used to be a Harris County sheriff in West Palm Beach. Well, so always been respectful, always like had decent rapport. I understand he’s doing a job and if I wasn’t in the wrong myself, why would me in this do being constantly right?

00:25:05:10 – 00:25:26:17
Ramsey Venner
You know what I mean? We’re only in conflict because I’m choosing to be a knucklehead on this day. So I never took that stance that, you know, I’m f the police or you know what I mean? Like, I mean, that’s the way it’s gotten now. That’s, that’s totally different. But like, as it related to my personal situation, I never felt like the cops were just the problem previously.

00:25:27:04 – 00:25:29:19
Ramsey Venner
Now, it’s a little crazy to what’s going on in the world right now.

00:25:30:19 – 00:25:53:18
Brad Singletary
I, you know, I started my career in behavioral health, working around like the justice, some of the folks in the justice system, juvenile justice and adult probation and parole and stuff. And you definitely think different than a lot of those guys. And I wonder if that’s something you developed or you’ve always been there. You know, a lot of them, frankly, are psychopaths, you know, not sociopathic.

00:25:53:18 – 00:26:09:28
Brad Singletary
There’s no empathy. They don’t really care even in what you’re talking about. You know, you’re saying you were you were affected by the things that were being said by the prosecuting attorney. And like, I don’t know, you just your your mind is different than a lot of those cats. You know, you you spend a lot of time with them.

00:26:10:00 – 00:26:16:13
Brad Singletary
Yeah. How is it different? What did you do? You have to shape yourself as this maturing that you’ve done, which I’m sure you have, obviously.

00:26:16:19 – 00:26:44:06
Ramsey Venner
I mean, I feel the plight, right? I feel I feel I feel the struggle. I mean, I’m aware and I study. I mean, you can see in black and white if you study history, American history, the you know, the United States government through like the the New Deal, they subsidized they subsidized the destruction of the family and and.

00:26:44:06 – 00:26:44:20
Ramsey Venner
Mainly.

00:26:44:20 – 00:26:52:26
Ramsey Venner
Poor families. Because if you get the mom out or you get the you compensate the mom for having more kids.

00:26:53:07 – 00:26:55:01
Ramsey Venner
But take the money away.

00:26:55:01 – 00:26:57:14
Ramsey Venner
If there’s a male around, then you replace.

00:26:57:14 – 00:26:58:26
Ramsey Venner
The male with the state.

00:26:59:29 – 00:27:01:09
Ramsey Venner
Which has like.

00:27:01:10 – 00:27:03:13
Ramsey Venner
Tremendous, tremendous.

00:27:03:13 – 00:27:16:17
Ramsey Venner
Ramifications, negative ramifications for the family structure. The family structure is demolished because of things that we thought were benefits for the poor and disenfranchized. Right.

00:27:16:27 – 00:27:17:26
Ramsey Venner
But it’s not the case.

00:27:18:28 – 00:27:20:17
Brad Singletary
I love what you’re saying. I’m glad you’re saying it.

00:27:20:17 – 00:27:22:29
Ramsey Venner
Absolutely not the case. All of those things.

00:27:22:29 – 00:27:27:21
Ramsey Venner
Those programs that there are I mean, there’s a certain sect of the population that you should say, yes.

00:27:27:21 – 00:27:28:04
Ramsey Venner
Sir.

00:27:28:05 – 00:27:35:24
Ramsey Venner
You’re down on your luck right now. Here, let me give you a hand. But when you have generational welfare, generational people on food stamps, and.

00:27:35:24 – 00:27:38:16
Ramsey Venner
They never think to get out of it, because.

00:27:38:16 – 00:27:41:19
Ramsey Venner
This is how it’s always been.

00:27:41:19 – 00:27:42:05
Ramsey Venner
And you.

00:27:42:05 – 00:27:43:09
Ramsey Venner
Normalize all of the.

00:27:43:09 – 00:27:44:09
Ramsey Venner
Things that are negative.

00:27:44:13 – 00:27:48:06
Ramsey Venner
Normalize drug dealing. We normalize hustling, we normalize, you know.

00:27:48:22 – 00:27:52:15
Ramsey Venner
The idols are not the person that’s going to work.

00:27:52:21 – 00:27:56:08
Ramsey Venner
These cracked on and made jokes up. Right. You got that job, man.

00:27:56:09 – 00:27:57:14
Ramsey Venner
Yeah. Yeah.

00:27:57:17 – 00:28:01:14
Ramsey Venner
Going over there to be a slave for them. People. I got my check coming.

00:28:01:24 – 00:28:13:21
Ramsey Venner
But you don’t realize when you when you take on that idea, that mentality, you’ve relegated yourself to too unimportant forever. You are. You are. See?

00:28:14:23 – 00:28:16:29
Ramsey Venner
Put in a place in a box, in a position where you.

00:28:16:29 – 00:28:22:10
Ramsey Venner
Are controlled by the people that you know you are most at odds with in your own mind.

00:28:22:25 – 00:28:33:05
Ramsey Venner
Well, I think I’ve heard I heard a guy say and I might have been a Wall Street chopper. I follow him on social media, so I trap yo. He said.

00:28:34:10 – 00:28:35:26
Ramsey Venner
If you let them feed you.

00:28:36:14 – 00:28:39:29
Ramsey Venner
You can’t be mad when they take the food away.

00:28:39:29 – 00:28:47:23
Ramsey Venner
Right. And what that means, go is like whatever it is that you’re putting out there, you think that you’re getting.

00:28:47:23 – 00:28:51:19
Ramsey Venner
Over by not having to go to work and you got somebody that’s a comedy in your life.

00:28:51:27 – 00:29:05:12
Ramsey Venner
You are 100% under the thumb of the guys that you say are prissy. You are, except in that oppression. So I’ve never, you know, in the struggle, I can see how you.

00:29:05:12 – 00:29:05:23
Ramsey Venner
Got to.

00:29:05:23 – 00:29:13:01
Ramsey Venner
Where you’re at. I can see why we are where we are. And now that I can see it, I can’t accept it.

00:29:13:02 – 00:29:14:27
Ramsey Venner
That’s the way I’m supposed to continue.

00:29:14:27 – 00:29:15:11
Ramsey Venner
To act.

00:29:15:11 – 00:29:15:23
Ramsey Venner
Because I.

00:29:15:23 – 00:29:19:24
Ramsey Venner
Realize you act the way you do because you are following a.

00:29:19:24 – 00:29:21:00
Ramsey Venner
Script that was designed.

00:29:21:00 – 00:29:23:13
Ramsey Venner
For you, not by you before you.

00:29:23:25 – 00:29:24:26
Brad Singletary
Oh, it’s interesting.

00:29:25:07 – 00:29:26:01
Ramsey Venner
Come on. Now, listen.

00:29:26:01 – 00:29:26:09
Ramsey Venner
To who’s.

00:29:26:09 – 00:29:26:23
Brad Singletary
Designing the.

00:29:26:23 – 00:29:39:00
Ramsey Venner
Script. Who’s this? Right, right, right. Who’s designing the script? Because when you think about it, there’s media companies, there’s music industry. And the things that.

00:29:39:00 – 00:29:40:13
Ramsey Venner
Get on that we are able.

00:29:40:13 – 00:29:50:27
Ramsey Venner
To listen to. The programing that we do have is just that. It’s programing. It’s programing. If you don’t even.

00:29:51:15 – 00:29:54:26
Ramsey Venner
Like the song, but you hear the song so many times.

00:29:55:08 – 00:29:55:19
Ramsey Venner
That you.

00:29:55:19 – 00:29:56:08
Ramsey Venner
Know the song.

00:29:56:08 – 00:29:58:24
Ramsey Venner
Word for word, and you’re singing these lyrics.

00:29:59:09 – 00:30:02:12
Ramsey Venner
They are raunchier and raunchier and raunchier right now. You’re so.

00:30:02:12 – 00:30:05:14
Ramsey Venner
Focused on everything that’s negative and not.

00:30:05:22 – 00:30:20:00
Ramsey Venner
Beneficial. Org in to change your life in the slightest. I’ma tell you to be a hustler. I’ma tell you to be a gangster. I’m a tell you to be a pimp. I’m a tell you to do all of these things that don’t bring any value to your community. I’m just going to tell you to keep doing the nonsense that you’ve been doing, because you know what?

00:30:20:06 – 00:30:21:21
Ramsey Venner
It allows me to control you.

00:30:22:28 – 00:30:24:14
Ramsey Venner
And as long as I control you.

00:30:24:22 – 00:30:27:24
Ramsey Venner
I don’t have to worry about you. You’re not a problem.

00:30:29:05 – 00:30:30:12
Brad Singletary
And you’re a consumer.

00:30:30:23 – 00:30:31:16
Ramsey Venner
And you’re a consumer.

00:30:32:05 – 00:30:43:02
Brad Singletary
I’m thinking about what? What is the magic of keeping people in their situation and it’s because now we got we got we got some consumers. That’s who’s buying the sneakers in and around real.

00:30:43:13 – 00:30:46:26
Ramsey Venner
That’s what you’re doing. You know you go to work a ten hour, 12 hour day.

00:30:47:14 – 00:30:57:07
Ramsey Venner
At a menial job. One, you’re not going to try to do anything greater than that menial job because it’s you don’t have those ambitions in you. You don’t have the financial education to say this is what’s going to happen.

00:30:57:14 – 00:30:58:07
Ramsey Venner
If you.

00:30:58:12 – 00:31:03:02
Ramsey Venner
You know, save your money or if you invest or if you if you buy instead of buying.

00:31:03:16 – 00:31:08:29
Ramsey Venner
The Nike’s if you buy Nike the company. Yes, right. Yeah.

00:31:09:08 – 00:31:11:08
Ramsey Venner
If you buy Nike, the company with that.

00:31:11:08 – 00:31:12:22
Ramsey Venner
Same hundred bucks, every.

00:31:12:22 – 00:31:31:06
Ramsey Venner
Time you get ready to go buy, some days you put 150 in Nike stock. We’ll look that Nike stock not only is going to maintain its value, maybe goes up and down depending on the stock market. But Mike is going to kick you a dividend. We’re saying, hey, way to go from being an investor. Wait, so every hundred and 50 bucks that I was going to spend on days, I took that and I bought Nike stock.

00:31:31:06 – 00:31:34:02
Ramsey Venner
Now I’m getting dividends on top of that, the money never went anywhere.

00:31:34:10 – 00:31:40:19
Ramsey Venner
Wait, I can make a loan against that equity. I don’t need a bank. I am the bank.

00:31:41:20 – 00:31:50:06
Ramsey Venner
That’s not information that’s give me. Now we’re going to show you the commercial and say go put on a jay because it’ll make you jump higher and you can still play basketball. Listen.

00:31:50:17 – 00:31:54:13
Ramsey Venner
Of the however many million inner city kids.

00:31:55:01 – 00:31:58:28
Ramsey Venner
There’s way 31 basketball teams with 14 people on each team.

00:31:59:14 – 00:32:04:18
Ramsey Venner
What’s the odds, bro? Yeah, what’s the odds? But anybody can open.

00:32:04:18 – 00:32:21:21
Ramsey Venner
A Robinhood account. Anybody can go to a Charles Schwab, anybody can put $1,000 away and go buy that Nike stock and keep doing it over the course of, you know, your five years, your ten years, the 20 years, and you can be seen on an end so quick because that money is going to keep doubling and tripling.

00:32:22:03 – 00:32:28:02
Ramsey Venner
And exponentially growing. Would you now have access a wealth?

00:32:28:02 – 00:32:45:25
Brad Singletary
So you talked about prison, gave you some hunger. It gave you some desire to never be in that situation, to improve yourself, to get somewhere. You said something earlier about being significant. I don’t that’s not the word to use, but something about, you know, becoming somebody, doing something with yourself. So so I want to talk about some of the ways that you’ve done that, man.

00:32:45:25 – 00:33:06:24
Brad Singletary
You’re obviously well on your way. You got three businesses and talked about earlier. One of the I forget who you’re talking about, a coach maybe or someone was a mentor. But in the in the pre-show talk that we had here pregame and you were talking about some others who had mentor to oh, that was the guy who the janitor.

00:33:07:05 – 00:33:07:09
Ramsey Venner
Shirt.

00:33:07:13 – 00:33:10:13
Brad Singletary
For the church or whatever he was a mentor and and a pastor.

00:33:10:13 – 00:33:10:23
Ramsey Venner
Yeah.

00:33:11:04 – 00:33:19:10
Brad Singletary
Uh, by the way, you’re still involved. You’re you going in? You ain’t just there to get opportunities. You know, you’re there for you. There for the whole thing, right?

00:33:19:18 – 00:33:22:10
Ramsey Venner
I was baptized on Memorial Day.

00:33:22:22 – 00:33:24:12
Ramsey Venner
A year or.

00:33:24:12 – 00:33:38:16
Ramsey Venner
Two ago. I don’t know. Yeah, I think it’s a I just celebrate the one year anniversary of being baptized and, you know, finding and following Jesus Christ every day. I have no qualms about that. My is I came I used to.

00:33:38:16 – 00:33:38:28
Ramsey Venner
Be.

00:33:39:15 – 00:34:04:10
Ramsey Venner
A but the thought process that I was agnostic and I don’t oh so but that’s nonsense right look around you when you look at how the body, the cells, the muscles, everything is set in divine order. Okay, say, say there’s not a god. That’s right. Now, watching my every move in life and, you know, helping me make decisions.

00:34:04:10 – 00:34:19:13
Ramsey Venner
Right. But at some point somebody said all of this stuff and most right. And it’s in a divine order. Matter how the trees grow. Release carbon dioxide or release oxygen, and we release carbon dioxide that keeps the trees growing like beds.

00:34:20:18 – 00:34:22:05
Ramsey Venner
It’s bigger than you know what I mean?

00:34:22:05 – 00:34:24:16
Ramsey Venner
Like, then this is not accidental.

00:34:24:16 – 00:34:25:25
Ramsey Venner
Yeah. How we’re here.

00:34:25:25 – 00:34:29:15
Ramsey Venner
And what we’re doing and how we’re living is not accidental. How there’s, you know.

00:34:30:11 – 00:34:31:21
Ramsey Venner
Just their seasons.

00:34:32:04 – 00:34:33:01
Brad Singletary
Yes. I’m with.

00:34:33:17 – 00:34:38:15
Ramsey Venner
Their seasons. You know what I mean? There’s seasons where in certain seasons, animals.

00:34:39:14 – 00:34:41:05
Ramsey Venner
Naturally want to go.

00:34:41:05 – 00:34:42:22
Ramsey Venner
In and reproduce.

00:34:43:04 – 00:34:44:09
Ramsey Venner
How, you know.

00:34:44:09 – 00:34:45:23
Ramsey Venner
Bees know where to go to get.

00:34:45:23 – 00:34:50:00
Ramsey Venner
Like all of this stuff is like it’s it’s perfect image.

00:34:50:00 – 00:34:50:26
Ramsey Venner
Design and it’s.

00:34:50:26 – 00:34:58:23
Ramsey Venner
Orchestration and there’s no way that this is all just happenstance. This is just you don’t have to believe.

00:34:58:23 – 00:35:03:22
Ramsey Venner
In and follow Jesus. You don’t want to believe that he died on the cross. You think it’s a fairy tale?

00:35:03:22 – 00:35:04:10
Ramsey Venner
What? How come.

00:35:04:10 – 00:35:07:00
Ramsey Venner
Every religion, every culture.

00:35:07:15 – 00:35:08:21
Ramsey Venner
Every human on the.

00:35:08:21 – 00:35:09:23
Ramsey Venner
Planet, every type.

00:35:09:23 – 00:35:12:06
Ramsey Venner
Of people have some type of.

00:35:12:24 – 00:35:14:14
Ramsey Venner
Understanding for something greater.

00:35:14:14 – 00:35:15:04
Ramsey Venner
Than us?

00:35:15:28 – 00:35:20:25
Ramsey Venner
Right. So it was a no brainer for me to find faith. Like, I just.

00:35:20:28 – 00:35:21:13
Ramsey Venner
Didn’t.

00:35:22:01 – 00:35:35:11
Ramsey Venner
Know how serious it was. And until I started observing, like not only that that things are in order, but when you are faithful, when you follow the.

00:35:35:11 – 00:35:35:29
Ramsey Venner
Word.

00:35:36:00 – 00:35:48:01
Ramsey Venner
When you follow it, like everything that’s that’s put in the Bible. I’m a realist to say, you know, I know man has had his hand on it. Right. I know the you know, there was a there is a concave or.

00:35:48:01 – 00:35:49:06
Ramsey Venner
Canon meeting.

00:35:49:06 – 00:35:50:22
Ramsey Venner
And they decided with books.

00:35:50:22 – 00:35:54:24
Ramsey Venner
Were that were what you know what I mean. Yeah But at some point.

00:35:55:11 – 00:36:08:23
Ramsey Venner
The thing that has lasted throughout time, throughout time, throughout every man’s chance and try an attempt to disrupt it and corrupt it and use it for is negative. Like the word of God is still bro in.

00:36:09:18 – 00:36:10:29
Ramsey Venner
His promises thing.

00:36:11:18 – 00:36:13:05
Ramsey Venner
His promises are true. When you put.

00:36:13:07 – 00:36:15:11
Ramsey Venner
When you when you post up and you really.

00:36:15:11 – 00:36:23:01
Ramsey Venner
Look at it like have you I think I heard today my pastor, Pastor Scott said.

00:36:23:01 – 00:36:24:28
Ramsey Venner
You may not have.

00:36:24:28 – 00:36:27:28
Ramsey Venner
Always gotten what you want. No, no, no. I was pastor urging.

00:36:28:01 – 00:36:28:10
Ramsey Venner
You may.

00:36:28:10 – 00:36:31:24
Ramsey Venner
Not have gotten what you wanted, but his God, it always has.

00:36:31:25 – 00:36:35:22
Ramsey Venner
Given you what you need. It may not have always.

00:36:35:22 – 00:36:39:05
Ramsey Venner
Got what you wanted, but God has always given you what you need. It like have you?

00:36:39:05 – 00:36:39:27
Ramsey Venner
If you really think.

00:36:39:27 – 00:36:41:27
Brad Singletary
About you had everything you ever needed.

00:36:41:29 – 00:36:43:16
Ramsey Venner
Always you want.

00:36:43:18 – 00:36:45:27
Brad Singletary
It worked out. It worked out. Whatever it was.

00:36:45:27 – 00:36:57:01
Ramsey Venner
Listen, I had a personal crisis going on last week, like every other week. Anyway, I had a president is going on last week because.

00:36:59:00 – 00:37:25:29
Ramsey Venner
My pastor, another pastor, I hope my brilliant brother, Mayor Ricky said, pastor, it’s say, you know, we have these challenges where our faith meets reality. I know I’m supposed to be faith. I know I’m supposed to just do painting, clothes and abide. And God is, you know, take back that a long time and just wait for it all to happen and God, I got this dude knocking on my door right now.

00:37:25:29 – 00:37:44:06
Ramsey Venner
That I owe bread right now. Like these people talk about they’ve got to take my car guy, like, you know what I mean? I know you. You going always have what I need, but I kind of need the car right now. Jesus is like, Where are you at right now? I got like, Ginger. Ginger, please, just, you know, like five, six bags would make this thing make a lot more sense.

00:37:44:21 – 00:37:47:27
Ramsey Venner
Listen. And I had a personal crisis going where.

00:37:48:08 – 00:38:14:04
Ramsey Venner
I was in that place. But I have a praying wife. I have a praying wife. And, you know, we just see calms me. She calms my spirit where I’m like is bad, babe. I don’t feel good. I don’t feel good about the things that are happening. I don’t feel like I’m supposed to be in this place. I work.

00:38:14:04 – 00:38:14:22
Ramsey Venner
Too hard.

00:38:15:18 – 00:38:15:28
Ramsey Venner
Right?

00:38:16:13 – 00:38:39:04
Ramsey Venner
But the things that I’m working, that I’m being met with, with resistance and I’m running into obstacles and stuff that I you know, I’m not planning this. I have my merchant processing system to stop for two weeks. And I ran like one of the worst things in business is that when you have your mind.

00:38:39:10 – 00:38:40:28
Ramsey Venner
And your systems and processes.

00:38:40:28 – 00:38:41:28
Ramsey Venner
And you’ve done.

00:38:41:28 – 00:38:43:11
Ramsey Venner
Good work for your clients and they’re.

00:38:43:11 – 00:38:56:28
Ramsey Venner
Willing to pay you, they’re they’re paying on time. They’re trying to get settled up so you can keep doing what you’re doing. You got a good thing going, Hey, we like you over here. Come on back here. Come on back and Mark.

00:38:57:19 – 00:38:58:11
Brad Singletary
Collect the money.

00:38:58:18 – 00:39:03:28
Ramsey Venner
Collect the money, bro. I got to send this guy to somewhere else. Do you got to do this?

00:39:03:28 – 00:39:05:01
Ramsey Venner
Pays his team over here.

00:39:05:09 – 00:39:09:25
Ramsey Venner
I’m going to send you a new way. And I’m in four year business.

00:39:09:25 – 00:39:10:12
Ramsey Venner
So this is.

00:39:10:12 – 00:39:11:27
Ramsey Venner
My, you know, me.

00:39:11:27 – 00:39:16:20
Ramsey Venner
Ramsay, Vinny, the the. The guy that’s doing some side cleaning on the side.

00:39:16:20 – 00:39:17:24
Ramsey Venner
Man, I got a brand.

00:39:17:25 – 00:39:20:01
Brad Singletary
Yeah, people pay. Pay that you pay in there.

00:39:20:15 – 00:39:31:04
Ramsey Venner
I got a label, I got I got employees man that that better I’m taking care of their families to these dues have to answer to their wives you found me like God.

00:39:31:04 – 00:39:31:17
Brad Singletary
Bless them.

00:39:32:01 – 00:39:42:23
Ramsey Venner
Right? They got to answer to their people, man. Make our kids at home and they just jam me up on one side. So I’m like, Where did that come from? Right?

00:39:42:23 – 00:39:45:28
Brad Singletary
What happened now? No one house has shakes out what happened.

00:39:48:03 – 00:40:01:10
Ramsey Venner
Is the same spirit, man, same spirit, that same energy. They say, Nah, I’m not going to, you know, if you give me the opportunity, I’m going to make it happen. I don’t care what it takes. I don’t care what it takes. I don’t care what I got to do. I don’t care who I got to borrow from. Like I don’t care where I got to go.

00:40:01:10 – 00:40:17:09
Ramsey Venner
Take out a loan. Listen, man, you worked your time. You put in time for clean fruit. You got to check. Come in. If something happened today, I take all my make your right. I don’t care on my family. Listen, babe, it’s rough right now. I got to make a move. I got to figure out some kind of how to get our people paid.

00:40:17:09 – 00:40:32:26
Ramsey Venner
Pay our people. We pay our people. We took care of that. And I got to work it out with the bank. I got to work it out with the merchant process. I got to jump into a different system that’s not their problem, right? They’re doing what they’re supposed to do by us. So we’re going to do what we’re supposed to do by them.

00:40:32:26 – 00:40:34:06
Ramsey Venner
But yeah, I’m I’m.

00:40:34:14 – 00:40:34:17
Ramsey Venner
A.

00:40:34:17 – 00:40:35:01
Brad Singletary
Scary.

00:40:35:01 – 00:40:43:27
Ramsey Venner
Man. I’m out before five the morning screaming on the phone that you gotta get of there, you know what I mean? And at the end of the day.

00:40:45:01 – 00:40:49:11
Ramsey Venner
It’s even it out, you know what I mean? But yeah, it’s it put us in a bind.

00:40:49:12 – 00:40:50:06
Ramsey Venner
And in that.

00:40:50:06 – 00:40:51:03
Ramsey Venner
You know, you’re sitting there.

00:40:51:03 – 00:40:56:15
Ramsey Venner
Like, what? Why? What did I do to get this one? You know what I mean? But nah.

00:40:57:26 – 00:40:58:19
Ramsey Venner
I worry about it.

00:40:58:27 – 00:41:00:26
Ramsey Venner
I’m moving you. You think I’m moving you.

00:41:01:15 – 00:41:06:08
Ramsey Venner
In the life you think something’s happening to you. But understand, this is something that is happening for.

00:41:06:16 – 00:41:32:09
Brad Singletary
Yeah. And the rain falls on the just in the end, it’s like this happens. I mean, some of that stuff just happens. I’ll only talk about mentor, so, you know, talk about some of the men in your life. This is this whole thing is centered around men being better you’ve taken from where you were. And man just really I mean, it’s just miraculous what you’ve turned yourself into, you know, how you’re evolving as a man, but what other men have made a difference for you?

00:41:32:09 – 00:41:39:18
Brad Singletary
Who were the key players that look back on and, you know, that you trusted that helped you get.

00:41:40:08 – 00:41:54:07
Ramsey Venner
Well, I actually have a mentor, man that I meet with. I don’t want to name Joplin. I just got it. I got a real solid mentor that know I don’t get as much time as I would like because he’s a busy guy, but it keeps me focused.

00:41:54:18 – 00:41:55:17
Ramsey Venner
And just having.

00:41:55:27 – 00:42:14:02
Ramsey Venner
A sounding board, right? Like where my name is, what I’m going through. I’ve never gone through anything like this before. Give me some insight. Sometimes. Sometimes it can be as little as just, you know, being in the presence of like like somebody who’s accomplished.

00:42:14:02 – 00:42:14:22
Ramsey Venner
Right, right.

00:42:15:28 – 00:42:47:10
Ramsey Venner
Where you ask a different type of question because of who you’re talking. Like, if I was talking to my five year old, my six year old, I’m going to be like, I wish that Daddy knew about this account right. And the information is not going to be that poignant, right? Because I’m not asking for a serious response. But when I sit down and I’m getting ready to ask this guy a question, well, I’ve evaluated the question because I don’t want him to give me the like, bro, you you know what I mean?

00:42:47:10 – 00:42:49:21
Ramsey Venner
Like, my time is valuable. So you ain’t thought about this yet?

00:42:49:21 – 00:42:50:01
Brad Singletary
Always.

00:42:50:01 – 00:42:52:24
Ramsey Venner
What time? So, yeah, I have to go through the paces.

00:42:52:24 – 00:43:03:08
Ramsey Venner
In my own brain before I ask the question. And sometimes, even when I fire it off, after I’ve gone through all of the paces, as soon as I say and I’m in this guy’s presence, I’m like, Yeah.

00:43:04:02 – 00:43:07:04
Ramsey Venner
I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it. You know what I mean?

00:43:07:04 – 00:43:11:02
Ramsey Venner
Just because I know what he would probably say to me, right?

00:43:11:02 – 00:43:13:26
Ramsey Venner
So I aim.

00:43:14:19 – 00:43:21:19
Ramsey Venner
Of all of the things that I’ve read and heard and seen and talked about, like they there’s a definite.

00:43:22:03 – 00:43:23:29
Ramsey Venner
Definite need for you to have.

00:43:24:09 – 00:43:45:09
Ramsey Venner
A mentor, not on the short term, but for a long term. We all need mentors because disliking in sports coach Don Baxter was my special teams coach for Fresno State. You say he used to drill, as you said, what is it? Coach said, a coach is a person that can take you to a place that you can’t take so far.

00:43:45:12 – 00:43:46:22
Ramsey Venner
Oh, right. Yeah.

00:43:46:29 – 00:44:02:23
Ramsey Venner
So you’re going to get a coach for football, you get a coach for tennis, people, get good coaches for lifting weights, all of the sports, not because you want these people to make you better than you currently are. Well, why not get a coach for life or coach for business, a coach for whatever the thing.

00:44:03:26 – 00:44:20:06
Brad Singletary
So you were you were talking about a system where you’re kind of you got a package where you would coach someone who was you’re you want to share your the knowledge that you’ve gained in the last four years as an entrepreneur as part of this kind of would be a coaching type thing, you know, what about other men in your life?

00:44:20:06 – 00:44:31:16
Brad Singletary
You know, men who made a difference, men who just maybe it’s not an arranged, you know, mentor conversation, maybe a family member or a friend or a coach or someone who just had an impact. And what did they do to make.

00:44:31:16 – 00:44:31:19
Ramsey Venner
It.

00:44:32:11 – 00:44:36:06
Ramsey Venner
Through sports? You start seeing a different side like of humanity, like I.

00:44:36:24 – 00:44:40:01
Ramsey Venner
I started seeing solid men.

00:44:40:16 – 00:45:09:06
Ramsey Venner
When I started playing football, I, there were some dudes that were like, you know, you could still tell they were jokers in their own life, right? But when I got to the university level and I got to go to like some of my coaches houses and I could see, you know, like that these were people that were like serious dudes, like, you know, influential, good, hardy, God fearing, and they had families, family man.

00:45:09:06 – 00:45:29:18
Ramsey Venner
Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, you know, this guy is pouring his heart out on the field. These they’re watching film after the fact. And, you know, it’s probably a strain on his relationship, his family. But they know who dad is. That like there are some guys I, I don’t know. I mean, I probably had some some terrible coaches that, you know, had terrible lives outside of football.

00:45:29:18 – 00:45:34:22
Ramsey Venner
But the ones that were like real solid, great, great coaches, they were.

00:45:34:22 – 00:45:36:05
Ramsey Venner
Solid men.

00:45:36:05 – 00:46:00:09
Ramsey Venner
They were solid family men. They they had like, you know, when they showed up, their kids were in tow. The wife was there. She was supportive. Maybe, you know, she probably wanted more time at home and all the things, right. Because that’s that’s life. Like in my own life. I’ve noticed that like as a man, when you’re trying to do the right thing, it’s one of the hardest things because everything needs your attention right now and all of it.

00:46:01:18 – 00:46:08:11
Ramsey Venner
How do you decide how do you decide for how much time do you spend with the kids? How much time do you spend with the wife, especially trying to build a business?

00:46:08:11 – 00:46:08:22
Brad Singletary
Oh, man.

00:46:09:14 – 00:46:10:04
Ramsey Venner
How much time.

00:46:10:04 – 00:46:11:03
Ramsey Venner
Can you, you.

00:46:11:03 – 00:46:12:11
Ramsey Venner
Know, wait.

00:46:12:13 – 00:46:14:17
Ramsey Venner
It’s unlimited. It’s unlimited.

00:46:14:17 – 00:46:19:16
Ramsey Venner
It’s unlimited. How many things I could be doing right now? How many things I should be doing right now? I should.

00:46:19:16 – 00:46:20:25
Ramsey Venner
Be 17 other.

00:46:20:25 – 00:46:22:28
Ramsey Venner
Places doing nine other things. I should.

00:46:22:28 – 00:46:24:01
Ramsey Venner
Have more people working.

00:46:24:01 – 00:46:29:10
Ramsey Venner
For me. I should be better to my clients. I should do more stuff for my employees. I should be.

00:46:29:18 – 00:46:30:01
Ramsey Venner
Out here.

00:46:30:01 – 00:46:31:02
Ramsey Venner
Tuning up this car.

00:46:31:02 – 00:46:37:03
Ramsey Venner
I said, you know, put the light bulb work. You know what I mean? Whatever it is at the house, I’m supposed to tighten up this.

00:46:37:03 – 00:46:38:08
Ramsey Venner
Door knob like I’ve.

00:46:38:08 – 00:46:40:04
Ramsey Venner
Walked by this washing machine so.

00:46:40:04 – 00:46:41:08
Ramsey Venner
Many times. You know what I mean?

00:46:41:08 – 00:46:42:09
Ramsey Venner
I should take.

00:46:42:09 – 00:46:49:04
Ramsey Venner
My kid out back here and throw the ball some more. And then I got another kid that I should take over here to the tennis, and I’ll take another kid who wants to.

00:46:49:04 – 00:46:58:17
Ramsey Venner
Just go to the playground and just wants to be in Daddy’s face, like there’s. What do you do? You know what I mean? What do you do? What do.

00:46:58:17 – 00:47:01:00
Brad Singletary
You do? What do you do? Because you’re doing it.

00:47:01:17 – 00:47:11:07
Ramsey Venner
Listen, man, I love all my people, my. And it’s one of the greatest joys. Thank you. Asked me a question. Or maybe your assistant asked me a question like, what do I do outside of work?

00:47:11:07 – 00:47:11:16
Ramsey Venner
Right.

00:47:12:19 – 00:47:37:07
Ramsey Venner
Well, work kind of my pleasure. Just because of where I am in my and my season. Right. My season right now is not about and I’ve taken on the responsibility in this life that if anybody’s going to turn direction in my family, me, I bear that responsibility. I bear that, you know, like, like like like the cross, right?

00:47:37:07 – 00:47:37:29
Ramsey Venner
I that’s my.

00:47:37:29 – 00:47:40:00
Ramsey Venner
Cross. I don’t.

00:47:41:02 – 00:47:44:11
Ramsey Venner
Have another person that’s going to come and save the day for.

00:47:44:14 – 00:47:46:29
Ramsey Venner
Us. I want my daughter.

00:47:46:29 – 00:47:54:07
Ramsey Venner
And my and this is my my granddaughter that’s in college now, blessed. She’s a university, San Diego and law school.

00:47:54:16 – 00:47:55:23
Ramsey Venner
Wow. Right now.

00:47:55:24 – 00:48:00:22
Ramsey Venner
Right. And this is the one that they were saying, if I if I hid behind a little girl.

00:48:00:22 – 00:48:01:13
Ramsey Venner
This one. Yeah.

00:48:01:15 – 00:48:20:17
Ramsey Venner
She’s she’s not a little girl no more. She’s a grown woman and she’s doing her stuff. Amazing shout out to you as well. From her to my Juliet to my solo to Georgia to Francis to my new baby. This on the way. Listen, I want them to know, man, that they got a dude that’s going to go the whole way for them.

00:48:21:06 – 00:48:52:14
Ramsey Venner
And they’re my joys. My wife is my joy. So I go and I’ll give it all I got. I’ll sell out, bro at work. I’ll sell out up at four in the morning, whatever it takes to, to, to, you know, set and schedules and making sure everybody’s going to be where they’re going to be. And if it’s making contact calls with clients or even sit in my agenda for what I need to have happen that day or any problems that I’ve missed or bills that I got to pay like I do all of that at the wee hours, the small hours before they wake up, when they wake up, I’m dead.

00:48:53:02 – 00:48:55:12
Ramsey Venner
Because I get to fall when.

00:48:55:12 – 00:49:00:23
Ramsey Venner
You can’t do anything like where you got to lock in and focus when you got little ones, right?

00:49:00:23 – 00:49:01:12
Brad Singletary
Ones all on.

00:49:01:12 – 00:49:01:16
Ramsey Venner
You.

00:49:01:17 – 00:49:16:27
Ramsey Venner
So, you know, I’m dad. Okay? When it’s time for me to go to to the office or they get put down for a nap, then I can crank it back up again and get back into my work mode. But, you know, everything has a time and a place and my wife is super supportive. She’s there. And when I sit down at work.

00:49:16:27 – 00:49:17:18
Ramsey Venner
And I come home.

00:49:18:03 – 00:49:25:04
Ramsey Venner
I’ve gotten to this point now in my business where I can put my phone to the side and my, you know, give a responsibility to my people so that they.

00:49:25:04 – 00:49:27:03
Ramsey Venner
Can do the delegate.

00:49:27:03 – 00:49:27:13
Brad Singletary
That 20.

00:49:27:13 – 00:49:29:18
Ramsey Venner
Five things they yeah so I’m.

00:49:29:24 – 00:49:30:14
Ramsey Venner
I’m getting.

00:49:30:28 – 00:49:50:20
Ramsey Venner
In a place where I can chop it up in and say, okay, this is my work day now you guys have to do your job. You got to I’m not going to solve every problem. Some things you should understand. So as a business owner, that puts you in a position like How can I try and has got to do this thing they come in find me for and I shouldn’t be the only person with all the answers.

00:49:50:20 – 00:50:00:11
Ramsey Venner
And that makes you have a different realization on a scale. Or do you want to be the only person with all of the keys or the only person with all of the information, all the answers? You don’t only want to talk to clients.

00:50:01:06 – 00:50:02:22
Ramsey Venner
Oh, I don’t want to be that anymore.

00:50:03:01 – 00:50:08:20
Brad Singletary
I heard a guy, one of my mentors said, a leader doesn’t do the work of ten men. Right? He got ten men doing the work.

00:50:09:07 – 00:50:10:12
Ramsey Venner
You know that part.

00:50:10:17 – 00:50:19:16
Brad Singletary
But you’re still very involved. You got your hands all in the business. Oh, we were just talking about other men that have helped you.

00:50:19:16 – 00:50:20:05
Ramsey Venner
Yeah, yeah.

00:50:20:13 – 00:50:21:00
Brad Singletary
Be a man.

00:50:21:02 – 00:50:47:08
Ramsey Venner
Yeah, so I do. I give a lot of props to my dad, right? My dad was. He was born in 1930, so a era. Yeah, my dad was born in 1930 in San Andreas in Providencia, Colombia. So he came to America basically as like a teenager, 12 or 13 years old. What the his parents passed over in Colombia.

00:50:48:10 – 00:50:56:02
Ramsey Venner
He got on a boat that was like a decade early in his life just to, like, kind of find his way. Uncles, I got.

00:50:56:13 – 00:50:57:18
Ramsey Venner
You know, over there.

00:50:58:04 – 00:51:01:26
Ramsey Venner
Uncles and I state I don’t know so well but he came over.

00:51:01:26 – 00:51:02:10
Ramsey Venner
Here.

00:51:02:21 – 00:51:21:07
Ramsey Venner
And, you know, just decided that he was going to make his own path. And, you know, probably by the time he met my mom, he had two. Yeah, three other kids. Yeah, three other kids. And they’re all like older than me by like, I don’t know, like 20 years now.

00:51:21:25 – 00:51:27:09
Ramsey Venner
But he came here and everything that I knew of.

00:51:27:09 – 00:51:43:12
Ramsey Venner
My dad from my adolescence was just. You just had a glow on a man. He had a glow like he didn’t live with us because he was on boats and we lived in Florida and in Texas and he lived in Hawaii at one point, you know, I guess it was either marital.

00:51:43:12 – 00:51:43:22
Ramsey Venner
Or.

00:51:44:12 – 00:51:53:29
Ramsey Venner
Economical, meaning, you know, that’s where the jobs were. And he, like, went there. However, it played out. We weren’t always with him, but when he showed up, like he was just.

00:51:54:11 – 00:51:56:05
Ramsey Venner
He was the dude. He was the.

00:51:56:05 – 00:52:05:19
Ramsey Venner
Do like my dad and all of his old pictures, super sharp dresser. Just he just had like a real flatness about a and and I.

00:52:05:19 – 00:52:07:12
Brad Singletary
Always sound like an Alpha, right?

00:52:07:13 – 00:52:08:22
Ramsey Venner
Yeah. He just he just.

00:52:08:22 – 00:52:27:17
Ramsey Venner
Had a finesse about him and I used to like and and the deference that people gave to him like, well, do you know what I mean? He wasn’t like people sneered at him like he did anything bad or you never had bad relations that I could ever see. And I went places, went to me, you know, tell me about like when we went to the bank and stuff like that.

00:52:27:17 – 00:52:44:14
Ramsey Venner
He’d always be like, you, you stand up and you know what I mean? Like, he just was a stern dude, but, like, quite pokey sharp. And I just would, you know, I didn’t get enough time around him to, like, approach him and, like, copy his mannerisms, like, most do, right?

00:52:44:21 – 00:52:45:00
Ramsey Venner
Yeah.

00:52:45:06 – 00:52:54:01
Ramsey Venner
But just there was this vibe when my dad was around me, he was the guy, and there was no questions about it right now.

00:52:54:12 – 00:52:58:29
Ramsey Venner
So that that’s on the me looking side.

00:52:58:29 – 00:53:09:13
Ramsey Venner
Right. And then my mom, because of course, he was from Columbia and we were, you know, black poor in West Palm Beach, Florida, everything that she said and.

00:53:09:14 – 00:53:12:04
Ramsey Venner
They they you know, your dad your dad being in boats and he from.

00:53:12:04 – 00:53:15:13
Ramsey Venner
Columbia. So, you know, he’d probably go and make a move.

00:53:15:13 – 00:53:29:22
Ramsey Venner
And come back and it’d be money in a briefcase. He seized it. So it was like this, like folklore around my dad. Like, was you really somebody? Was he like one of them dudes or like, Oh, I got to have some people that’s over there doing some stuff, you know what I mean? Like, we’ve real Colombians, though, you know what I mean?

00:53:29:22 – 00:53:32:19
Ramsey Venner
So that always played his part. And it was.

00:53:32:19 – 00:53:35:04
Ramsey Venner
It was cool. It was funny. But just there was.

00:53:35:19 – 00:53:37:00
Ramsey Venner
I never my back.

00:53:37:00 – 00:53:50:21
Ramsey Venner
Control it is alcohol it was never allow never aggressive I’ve never seen him like you know, get into real arguments with my mom. I never seen any of that. So I just always had this picture of that’s what a man is, you know what I mean? He was just.

00:53:51:08 – 00:53:51:27
Ramsey Venner
He was a man.

00:53:53:19 – 00:54:01:24
Ramsey Venner
Took care of was sent this money, even when they weren’t like together. You’re like he was just he was just to do so. Long story short, I checked.

00:54:01:24 – 00:54:03:26
Ramsey Venner
Them out and and and.

00:54:04:24 – 00:54:37:27
Ramsey Venner
That’s kind of how I model myself. But then as I got a little older and I started looking at the world in a different kind of way, like I lived with them from all my high school years, from 93 to 97. I had the opportunity to come to live with them in California, California to Oakland, California. And in that time, like, I got to see him, you know, go to work and, you know, he came back and mean like took care of the bills.

00:54:38:11 – 00:54:50:07
Ramsey Venner
He was getting his butt kicked a lot of times at that job. But he made great money on boats in San Francisco. It was a deckhand over there, like 33 bucks an hour or something like that. Like it was just it just.

00:54:50:13 – 00:54:51:06
Ramsey Venner
He always.

00:54:51:06 – 00:55:09:25
Ramsey Venner
Like he wasn’t like, destitute. He wasn’t bad. He wasn’t like a mean spirited dude. And always, like, comedy had his own little way things that he laughed at. And I and I follow suit. Like, I just felt like that presence is what I wanted to give to my kids, what I wanted to be. So my pops is a big influence on me in that way.

00:55:09:25 – 00:55:19:27
Ramsey Venner
And then I got in trouble, went to jail. Yeah, moved to Louisiana and I got a.

00:55:19:27 – 00:55:21:02
Ramsey Venner
Call one.

00:55:21:02 – 00:55:43:00
Ramsey Venner
Morning while I was opening a restaurant in Reno from the coroner’s office in and Bogalusa, Louisiana. My first job, I didn’t even know where this place was. I didn’t know how he found himself there. But him in my I guess, you know, his wife at the time different from my mom. Another lady that he ended up living with that moved down there because that’s where she was from.

00:55:44:02 – 00:55:58:21
Ramsey Venner
And I get the call that, you know, it’s it’s Ramsey Renter. And I was like, yeah, I well, I don’t know how to tell you this, but, you know, I have Ramsey Senior here in our office and I was like.

00:56:00:23 – 00:56:05:12
Ramsey Venner
Doing what he’s like. As I said, it’s a coroner’s office.

00:56:05:12 – 00:56:06:26
Ramsey Venner
And she was like, Yeah. And I was like.

00:56:07:03 – 00:56:09:17
Ramsey Venner
Oh, are you sad? My dad is like this.

00:56:09:19 – 00:56:14:09
Ramsey Venner
And she’s like, Yeah, I’m sorry to hear that. I’m sorry to tell you. And it just was like.

00:56:15:11 – 00:56:16:07
Ramsey Venner
Out of the blue.

00:56:16:07 – 00:56:20:02
Ramsey Venner
Out of the clear blue yonder a week previous, I talked to him about coming to.

00:56:20:02 – 00:56:20:20
Ramsey Venner
Live with me.

00:56:21:03 – 00:56:22:00
Ramsey Venner
In Reno. Right.

00:56:22:01 – 00:56:24:09
Ramsey Venner
He was like, man, I hate it down here. And, you know.

00:56:24:19 – 00:56:45:17
Ramsey Venner
So, you know, we had this whole little okay, I’m like I say, is conspiracy. You know, we just we never found out, truthfully, you know, if it was health or not health related. But it just was it was it was like kind of a mysterious thing that happened. And when I when I when.

00:56:45:17 – 00:56:46:05
Ramsey Venner
I had me.

00:56:47:28 – 00:57:07:20
Ramsey Venner
I don’t know, we just we we went down. We and I met with my Colombian brothers and sisters and my actual sister, my mom. We all went down and we laid them to rest down there. And it was like, you know, I guess the gravity of I was the last winter male kind of hit me at that point, right?

00:57:07:20 – 00:57:15:09
Ramsey Venner
Like it was on me, you know what I mean? And I was I’m doing nonsense and my like really living good. I’m, I’m.

00:57:16:05 – 00:57:33:21
Ramsey Venner
At this I was in Reno being a rapper. There’s a rapper in Reno. Well within the seven, seven, five, seven five Davis I listen big soup.

00:57:33:21 – 00:57:38:25
Ramsey Venner
Man I was out there Lucy aka fly some of that big soup material out there man I I’m still out.

00:57:38:25 – 00:57:48:04
Ramsey Venner
Do you remember when we got a tag that shows our son was with malice and but yeah, we did that and it was it was cool. We.

00:57:48:23 – 00:58:05:19
Ramsey Venner
You know, I had my pops, he passed and I it just like it just our feeling, I guess time to get serious about life. And I tried to tighten up, but I couldn’t get it right. Like, I don’t know if you seen a movie Life. What Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence together, right? Man, they did it right out there.

00:58:05:19 – 00:58:19:22
Ramsey Venner
So, yeah, I moved to Vegas and started tightening up. So to your question about mentors and who really influenced me, him and his presence and him in his absence as well?

00:58:20:10 – 00:58:24:23
Brad Singletary
Well, meaning before he passed and sense.

00:58:24:29 – 00:58:38:00
Ramsey Venner
Yeah. So I’m not just like, oh, he is crazy. As we grow into adults, all of those little sayings that, you know, your people say my dad used to have one. He and I.

00:58:38:00 – 00:58:43:26
Ramsey Venner
Always do the accent because I can hear him in my hair be like 5 minutes more or 5 minutes less. Does it matter.

00:58:45:00 – 00:58:45:25
Ramsey Venner
Who you would.

00:58:45:25 – 00:58:53:01
Ramsey Venner
Tell me? Like, Don’t be in a haste. They’ll be in a rush. 5 minutes more, 5 minutes less. You know what I mean? Like, if you get.

00:58:53:01 – 00:58:54:26
Ramsey Venner
There, you get there, you know, don’t.

00:58:54:26 – 00:58:56:13
Ramsey Venner
Go nuts about it. But, you.

00:58:56:13 – 00:58:58:07
Ramsey Venner
Know, or if you need to.

00:58:58:07 – 00:58:59:07
Ramsey Venner
Leave 5 minutes.

00:58:59:07 – 00:58:59:19
Ramsey Venner
Early.

00:59:00:20 – 00:59:15:03
Ramsey Venner
Stuff like that. And I can hear him call you Ramsey used to call me Ramsey. Ramsey and tell me about like having I’m in Oakland. Right. So you I mean, you have four or five of them cousins in your.

00:59:15:03 – 00:59:15:14
Ramsey Venner
Car.

00:59:16:20 – 00:59:31:08
Ramsey Venner
And he’s talking about bread is right, four or five of them. Because in your car you’re going to have trouble, man. You gonna have trouble with him. I’m like, I I’m not going to catch up with that. But, you know, I’m on the football team and I, you know, I’m running around my booth a certain of every time I loaded up and was like driving everybody.

00:59:31:08 – 00:59:32:12
Ramsey Venner
Everywhere pulled.

00:59:32:12 – 00:59:40:13
Ramsey Venner
Over. Right. So all that wisdom comes back when you grow into being a man and you’re like, That’s it.

00:59:40:13 – 00:59:44:03
Ramsey Venner
Just listen. Or like he was dead on with that, you know what I mean? Or I can hear.

00:59:44:03 – 00:59:54:28
Ramsey Venner
Me in these moments and I apply it when before it was like, No, no. So I get out of you. I love you somewhere.

00:59:54:28 – 00:59:57:22
Ramsey Venner
That’s that’s the game for over there, man. I still don’t work here.

00:59:57:29 – 00:59:58:24
Ramsey Venner
Is is this some.

00:59:59:12 – 01:00:11:00
Brad Singletary
I did not know that about you. About your dad, man. But I’ve heard little accents or little things and I’m like, where is do from? Like, but, but but sometimes your parents have accent even if you grew up in California or whatever.

01:00:11:00 – 01:00:11:20
Ramsey Venner
Like, yeah, yeah.

01:00:11:20 – 01:00:16:10
Brad Singletary
Then, you know, I can tell and you and I hear a little things sometimes and it makes me wonder. It must be it.

01:00:16:15 – 01:00:24:10
Ramsey Venner
Listen, I got to tell you, is one of the secret weapons, like when Breslin when I went to prison, I’ll be sitting there and, you know, everything is race and.

01:00:24:14 – 01:00:24:26
Ramsey Venner
Employ.

01:00:25:13 – 01:00:26:12
Ramsey Venner
Bad you know what I mean?

01:00:26:12 – 01:00:27:01
Brad Singletary
From Yeah.

01:00:27:01 – 01:00:29:25
Ramsey Venner
And I was sitting in the middle of maybe like.

01:00:30:09 – 01:00:31:07
Ramsey Venner
You may up a.

01:00:31:10 – 01:00:34:04
Ramsey Venner
You know talking all of that stuff on a little. I’m like, would you call me bro?

01:00:34:13 – 01:00:38:08
Ramsey Venner
They like, Wait, my bros.

01:00:38:08 – 01:00:44:11
Ramsey Venner
And then I know you’re like a Yo Lightning or gay the Omega Killer. They said, You know what I mean? And I give it to him right there.

01:00:44:11 – 01:00:51:22
Ramsey Venner
And they be like, Well, I, I love it. I love it, bro. So that I do.

01:00:52:10 – 01:01:04:04
Ramsey Venner
I was, I was teaching myself how to read and write and zalmi before I went. And when I went there, I had that fluid for a little bit. But, you know, it was no German speakers in Las Vegas, so I kind of lost a lot of that time.

01:01:04:24 – 01:01:08:17
Brad Singletary
That’s crazy. So how many languages do you speak now?

01:01:08:17 – 01:01:19:04
Ramsey Venner
Just English in Spanish. I was real heavy on the German. I was learning ASL too for a little bit, but the you know, you got to practice that before.

01:01:19:05 – 01:01:25:19
Brad Singletary
That’s that’s what I’m saying, man. You’re a different kind of guy, you know what I mean? You’re taking advantage of every single opportunity.

01:01:25:20 – 01:01:36:02
Ramsey Venner
Why not? What else are you doing? That’s what I’m saying. No, like so prison. In prison. Was that for me, bro? Well, you go to lock me in a room, give me 24 hours.

01:01:36:02 – 01:01:36:26
Ramsey Venner
I don’t have.

01:01:37:23 – 01:01:39:12
Ramsey Venner
Kids, bills.

01:01:40:01 – 01:01:41:13
Ramsey Venner
Distractions. I can’t watch.

01:01:41:14 – 01:01:42:05
Ramsey Venner
TV.

01:01:42:17 – 01:01:43:12
Ramsey Venner
There’s no.

01:01:43:21 – 01:01:44:14
Ramsey Venner
Internet.

01:01:44:23 – 01:01:47:00
Ramsey Venner
There’s no cell phone there.

01:01:47:00 – 01:01:51:29
Ramsey Venner
Hustle. Oh, woman now would be the best me I could be.

01:01:52:10 – 01:01:54:07
Brad Singletary
You’ll get swollen. Just get smaller.

01:01:54:07 – 01:01:57:14
Ramsey Venner
Yes, ma’am. Yes. Well, and somewhere. And then that’s going on.

01:01:57:29 – 01:02:10:20
Ramsey Venner
Everything else seems like insignificant. If I choose to have a different life, if I come out of here the exact same way that I went in. That’s my bad. That’s my bad, right? But if I’m given this opportunity.

01:02:11:00 – 01:02:11:26
Ramsey Venner
I need to make.

01:02:11:26 – 01:02:12:05
Ramsey Venner
It so.

01:02:12:05 – 01:02:14:20
Ramsey Venner
That you never, ever, ever have.

01:02:14:20 – 01:02:30:22
Ramsey Venner
This opportunity put me away again. And that was literally my mantra, bro. I’d be sitting there. I ended up like figuring out how to get grants for college. I got my college degree while I was locked up. I learned how to play the piano. I was locked up.

01:02:31:20 – 01:02:31:27
Ramsey Venner
As.

01:02:32:04 – 01:02:36:27
Brad Singletary
Plays, please. But whatever kind of surprises you, guy? He speaks Spanish. He played the piano.

01:02:38:11 – 01:02:43:10
Ramsey Venner
There’s a football with the car. If you get if you get if you get a stretch.

01:02:43:10 – 01:02:43:21
Ramsey Venner
Like, I.

01:02:43:21 – 01:02:56:10
Ramsey Venner
Just I doubt many people got trade, you know what I mean? Six, seven years of a life to learn how to play the piano, you know what I mean? Or to speak Spanish. Anything else? They did. These are cool, but they came at a price.

01:02:57:07 – 01:03:15:03
Ramsey Venner
The these talents right now are cool, but they came at a price, Zambrano says. If you want your life to change, then you have to change, right? And the minute that you change, everything around you will change. You said work harder on yourself. Then you’re doing your job.

01:03:15:03 – 01:03:35:08
Brad Singletary
So you’re quoting some of these guys. That means you’re listening. That means you’re looking for it. That means you’re out there trying to get wisdom. You know, I just that’s something that I’ve always admired about you is just that you’re looking, you’re looking, you’re listening, watching. You know, you got something running in your mind. You read and you’re doing things to get more information.

01:03:35:15 – 01:03:36:05
Ramsey Venner
You got to do it.

01:03:36:22 – 01:03:38:15
Ramsey Venner
As and and.

01:03:38:15 – 01:03:45:22
Ramsey Venner
This right now technology information age right. We got access to everything. And we.

01:03:45:22 – 01:03:48:25
Ramsey Venner
Choose nothing. We choose.

01:03:48:25 – 01:03:53:29
Ramsey Venner
Nonsense. We choose stuff that does not move the needle one iota.

01:03:53:29 – 01:03:54:15
Ramsey Venner
You got.

01:03:54:22 – 01:03:56:16
Ramsey Venner
The entire world that you like you.

01:03:56:16 – 01:03:57:22
Ramsey Venner
Can you to.

01:03:57:22 – 01:03:58:14
Ramsey Venner
Right now or.

01:03:58:14 – 01:03:59:01
Ramsey Venner
Google.

01:03:59:19 – 01:04:03:14
Ramsey Venner
How to do anything good. You could build an airplane in your garage.

01:04:03:14 – 01:04:03:24
Ramsey Venner
Yeah.

01:04:04:18 – 01:04:07:22
Ramsey Venner
Right now there’s somebody who’s put that information out there.

01:04:08:00 – 01:04:09:05
Ramsey Venner
You can learn.

01:04:09:05 – 01:04:11:21
Ramsey Venner
How to be the best stock broker. You can learn how to be.

01:04:12:08 – 01:04:16:25
Ramsey Venner
Even the best dad. Like, there’s techniques. There’s, like, things you could do. You can have.

01:04:16:25 – 01:04:18:00
Ramsey Venner
Conversation starters.

01:04:18:00 – 01:04:40:18
Ramsey Venner
You can have better ways to better your communication. You can effectively use your social media to increase your bottom line. Well, you can you can Google anything. We have all of the information in the computers that’s our that’s in our hands and what we do with them. We choose to look at cat videos.

01:04:40:18 – 01:04:45:13
Brad Singletary
And I love what you said. We we have access to everything. We choose nothing.

01:04:45:13 – 01:04:46:20
Ramsey Venner
And we choose nothing.

01:04:46:20 – 01:04:52:14
Ramsey Venner
We choose to watch somebody else being goofy. Or why do you.

01:04:52:14 – 01:05:03:01
Brad Singletary
Think that it why do why is it so easy for people to just be easy? And, I don’t know, ordinary. I’m like you, man. I’m driven. I mean, I’m over here work at Sunday night at 9:00.

01:05:03:01 – 01:05:04:15
Ramsey Venner
So come on, man. I’m right here.

01:05:04:15 – 01:05:07:06
Brad Singletary
When you said earlier, you said my business is my pleasure.

01:05:07:06 – 01:05:07:16
Ramsey Venner
Yeah.

01:05:07:24 – 01:05:16:21
Brad Singletary
That’s how you live. I don’t know. I just think that’s what what what’s else doing? Because I don’t know. I don’t understand why people look at cat videos and try to learn how to.

01:05:17:01 – 01:05:17:22
Ramsey Venner
Right. Learn how.

01:05:17:22 – 01:05:18:11
Brad Singletary
Things work.

01:05:18:18 – 01:05:19:00
Ramsey Venner
Right.

01:05:19:07 – 01:05:33:22
Ramsey Venner
And what it’s. So there’s two things at play, right? We have a natural, I think, proclivity to choose the path of least resistance. I’m not going to I’m not going to.

01:05:33:22 – 01:05:34:05
Ramsey Venner
Do.

01:05:34:19 – 01:05:40:24
Ramsey Venner
I’m not going to do the thing that’s hard. I’m not going to do the thing that’s tough. And instead, I want to check out.

01:05:41:27 – 01:05:43:10
Brad Singletary
My energy, say, McAlary.

01:05:43:10 – 01:05:58:19
Ramsey Venner
I’m gonna save my calories. Save my energy. I’m gonna do some later. I get to that tomorrow. Is it necessary that I do that right now? I mean, sure, man. I got a long life to live. Like, the thing that we don’t do is take stock and put value in the thing that matters the most.

01:05:58:26 – 01:06:02:10
Ramsey Venner
The one asset that we cannot get more of is time.

01:06:03:23 – 01:06:12:10
Ramsey Venner
Prison showed me that time is the most valuable asset. All you can do is spend it. You can’t get more of it.

01:06:12:10 – 01:06:21:17
Ramsey Venner
You can’t. All you can do is manage how you spend it. Budget your time, make it a serious priority, see how those.

01:06:21:17 – 01:06:23:05
Ramsey Venner
Minutes are wasted by.

01:06:23:23 – 01:06:29:11
Ramsey Venner
Every 10 minutes that you’re scrolling. If you accumulate those 10 minutes.

01:06:29:11 – 01:06:31:04
Ramsey Venner
And say, I was trying to get a college.

01:06:31:04 – 01:06:35:16
Ramsey Venner
Degree, I would be. How much closer to having.

01:06:35:16 – 01:06:41:13
Ramsey Venner
That college degree if I spent the 10 minutes instead of just scrolling through like, you know, the pictures in the photos and.

01:06:41:13 – 01:06:51:03
Ramsey Venner
It’s like at the right, right. The T in a let me you feel me if I took that time and said, okay, now I’m going to actually lock in on this time and learn how.

01:06:51:10 – 01:06:54:01
Ramsey Venner
To expand my business in this way. Or I’m going.

01:06:54:01 – 01:06:54:25
Ramsey Venner
To learn how to be.

01:06:55:25 – 01:06:56:18
Ramsey Venner
Like I’m going to learn how to.

01:06:56:18 – 01:06:57:05
Ramsey Venner
Get things.

01:06:57:12 – 01:07:01:07
Ramsey Venner
Let’s go, let’s go. Simple. I’ll learn how to get stains out the carpet because don’t know how to do that.

01:07:01:29 – 01:07:07:27
Ramsey Venner
You could spend that time and now I have a skill that’s not only valuable for me.

01:07:08:28 – 01:07:13:19
Ramsey Venner
I can directly translate that skill in the money right now, but now I could teach somebody else how to do it.

01:07:13:19 – 01:07:14:24
Ramsey Venner
And multiply and.

01:07:14:24 – 01:07:15:23
Ramsey Venner
Magnify.

01:07:16:07 – 01:07:18:12
Ramsey Venner
My income by how many people.

01:07:18:12 – 01:07:18:23
Ramsey Venner
I teach.

01:07:18:23 – 01:07:19:15
Ramsey Venner
How to do this.

01:07:19:29 – 01:07:20:12
Ramsey Venner
If I could.

01:07:20:13 – 01:07:50:04
Ramsey Venner
Market their services. Hey, Jeff Bezos isn’t a billionaire because Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk personally go and build Tesla’s right. Bro commands 40,000 people in his organization. He commands a 100,000 individuals that when I say this is his God power, right? Yeah. You know, you don’t you don’t really think about it. But this guy genius is on.

01:07:50:04 – 01:07:50:08
Ramsey Venner
His.

01:07:50:08 – 01:08:02:03
Ramsey Venner
Payroll. He’s got access to the information that like the actual person that probably put up the YouTube video. Right. Right. And when he has a thought, it seems goofy to us.

01:08:02:03 – 01:08:08:09
Ramsey Venner
I want to build a tunnel under the Los Angeles and I want to put a train under Los Angeles because it’s.

01:08:08:09 – 01:08:36:06
Ramsey Venner
Just how well you got the money there. Okay. Is a team, a crack team of science is working on it? Yeah. I’ve got engineers that will come up with the best designs and plans. Yeah, let’s do it. I got a legal team is going to go stand in line for me and get the permits from the city. I got bro, I got an advertising and marketing team on the day that I say is a release everywhere in America, the same picture in the same image pops up on benches and on TV and on billboards.

01:08:36:14 – 01:08:42:00
Ramsey Venner
I can snap my finger and there’s a new reality.

01:08:42:00 – 01:08:42:23
Brad Singletary
That’s leadership.

01:08:43:19 – 01:08:48:18
Ramsey Venner
Bro. That’s where the power is. It’s not me. I’m going to just go away.

01:08:49:00 – 01:08:51:28
Ramsey Venner
Crying and I’m gonna just grind and hustle and I’m going, just do it myself.

01:08:51:28 – 01:08:56:21
Ramsey Venner
And I don’t want nobody telling me I’m the best. That I’m the best at it, bro, i, I gave.

01:08:56:21 – 01:09:00:14
Ramsey Venner
That philosophy up right at year two of my company. I like.

01:09:00:14 – 01:09:02:02
Ramsey Venner
To see, you know what you know.

01:09:02:02 – 01:09:19:03
Brad Singletary
See, I’m self-employed, you know, it’s just me, really. I have a VA and I have a practice manager and stuff like that. But I, I, I, there’s a huge risk taking that leap, you know, because I believe you. I think I would want to do that. But then you got the payroll and then you have the other, the other things that come along with that.

01:09:19:09 – 01:09:35:10
Brad Singletary
But it must be because the way you’re talking about it, even with those occasional little blips and those little the tension, I just know a lot of people that have businesses with 20 employees or whatever and that bar in here, bar in there, they got cash flow. They’re trying to make it all work and it does and it works out big time, really.

01:09:35:10 – 01:09:37:08
Brad Singletary
But that’s is the big leap of faith.

01:09:37:08 – 01:09:37:15
Ramsey Venner
That I have.

01:09:37:26 – 01:09:52:08
Brad Singletary
For myself. I know I’d love to have other coaches and therapists working under Serve Me, you know, but that’s just a big leap anyway. So dude, you’re, you’re, you’re, you’re, I you’re a remarkable guy, man.

01:09:52:20 – 01:09:53:08
Ramsey Venner
I appreciate.

01:09:53:09 – 01:10:09:12
Brad Singletary
You. God genius. All kind of you have all kind of sharp and there’s a lot of people who are sharp intellectually but I would never call them sharp because they I don’t know, they don’t got all the charisma. You got all the cool swagger. My kids, they don’t see swagger.

01:10:09:12 – 01:10:10:29
Ramsey Venner
That’s about swag is going away.

01:10:10:29 – 01:10:13:29
Ramsey Venner
Swagger is going away. We know we don’t. We all this swag.

01:10:13:29 – 01:10:15:20
Ramsey Venner
Is leaving these I don’t know what it’s like.

01:10:15:23 – 01:10:18:08
Brad Singletary
You get all kind of big energy, if you know what I’m saying.

01:10:18:08 – 01:10:18:11
Ramsey Venner
Yeah.

01:10:18:13 – 01:10:32:24
Brad Singletary
You know, you just. But I wonder, what are some of the errors that you think men are making out there? No, the typical guy. What are some of the things that typical man you needs to look at?

01:10:34:08 – 01:10:50:27
Ramsey Venner
You know what? The first thing that I think, like the Book of Proverbs says, the spirit of the Lord is beginning of wisdom. When I got arrested on my big case, they sent me away for seven years. I went to the Branch in Sacramento. So they took me from.

01:10:51:04 – 01:10:51:15
Ramsey Venner
Where.

01:10:51:20 – 01:11:02:19
Ramsey Venner
To. And and that’s when it hits start. That’s when it hits like the result of all of it. It’s fun and games when you’re in a visiting booth and you’re trying to, you know, convince a girl or something.

01:11:04:03 – 01:11:13:17
Ramsey Venner
When you see somebody doing all of that foolishness that that’s you still playing you still playing with life. You haven’t, like, felt the gravity of it to you get in that bus.

01:11:14:10 – 01:11:15:09
Ramsey Venner
And they take you.

01:11:15:09 – 01:11:16:23
Ramsey Venner
Away because.

01:11:16:23 – 01:11:20:05
Ramsey Venner
There’s no prisons that are like real close this right when they take you.

01:11:20:05 – 01:11:20:23
Ramsey Venner
Away.

01:11:20:28 – 01:11:26:15
Ramsey Venner
And now you are now yeah you’re going for some. Wow.

01:11:26:15 – 01:11:28:18
Ramsey Venner
And when see it.

01:11:28:18 – 01:11:33:15
Ramsey Venner
And you look around and like this is what I’ve made of my life, this is what it is now.

01:11:33:19 – 01:11:34:22
Ramsey Venner
And you have to.

01:11:35:20 – 01:11:47:23
Ramsey Venner
Let that reality sink in just a little bit like no. So I did that right. And one of the first grabbed the Bible is, you know, okay, now God.

01:11:47:27 – 01:11:53:12
Ramsey Venner
All right, guy, listen, you was right. I was wrong. Let me let.

01:11:53:12 – 01:11:55:03
Ramsey Venner
Let’s let’s work on this relationship, right?

01:11:56:00 – 01:11:57:17
Ramsey Venner
And it’s too late then.

01:11:57:27 – 01:11:59:22
Ramsey Venner
As far as having something to do with the.

01:11:59:22 – 01:12:01:25
Ramsey Venner
Outcome. Right. But, you.

01:12:01:25 – 01:12:10:18
Ramsey Venner
Know, better late than never, right? Yeah. So I grabbed the book of proverb, grab the Bible in the first book I open with the book of Proverbs. And I think it might have been Proverbs.

01:12:10:18 – 01:12:11:04
Ramsey Venner
One.

01:12:12:05 – 01:12:27:29
Ramsey Venner
By the first bar. And it says that fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom that has always resonated with me, because it’s like when you realize that there’s something going on that’s bigger than.

01:12:27:29 – 01:12:29:17
Ramsey Venner
You.

01:12:29:17 – 01:12:32:01
Ramsey Venner
There’s something at play that’s bigger than you.

01:12:32:01 – 01:12:33:22
Ramsey Venner
Like when you do not.

01:12:33:27 – 01:12:43:04
Ramsey Venner
Feel like I’m afraid God is going to strike me down. But fear in a sense that, you realize that there’s something that’s that’s bigger and broader.

01:12:43:04 – 01:12:44:01
Ramsey Venner
And wider and.

01:12:44:01 – 01:12:45:08
Ramsey Venner
More expansive being.

01:12:45:18 – 01:12:49:26
Ramsey Venner
Whatever you’ve been calling your reality, your little world, your little.

01:12:49:26 – 01:12:51:03
Brad Singletary
World. So little.

01:12:51:11 – 01:12:53:17
Ramsey Venner
Is microscopic. Like these things that.

01:12:53:17 – 01:12:56:09
Ramsey Venner
You’ve been pursuing and spending your time and your energy on.

01:12:57:20 – 01:12:59:07
Ramsey Venner
There’s so much more.

01:12:59:12 – 01:13:00:12
Ramsey Venner
It’s so much.

01:13:01:02 – 01:13:01:12
Ramsey Venner
More.

01:13:01:12 – 01:13:02:22
Ramsey Venner
Abundance and greater.

01:13:03:01 – 01:13:05:18
Ramsey Venner
Than what you’ve been focusing on. If you can.

01:13:05:18 – 01:13:06:29
Ramsey Venner
Just take your eyes off of.

01:13:07:01 – 01:13:07:21
Ramsey Venner
Your.

01:13:07:21 – 01:13:07:25
Ramsey Venner
Your.

01:13:07:25 – 01:13:22:07
Ramsey Venner
Situation and look, look, look a little bit further, look a little bit past where you, you know, take that horizon back just a little bit and like take it all lean in. You can see that, look, this this is this is.

01:13:22:24 – 01:13:29:12
Ramsey Venner
Recognizing that you are not here by accident. But what are you going to do with this opportunity?

01:13:30:29 – 01:13:31:17
Ramsey Venner
You’re not here.

01:13:31:17 – 01:13:38:02
Ramsey Venner
By accident, but what are you going to do with the opportunity to have given you to be on this earth, to exist in the fullness and the richness.

01:13:38:08 – 01:13:38:15
Ramsey Venner
Of.

01:13:38:15 – 01:13:39:27
Ramsey Venner
Everything that I’ve created.

01:13:39:27 – 01:13:47:14
Ramsey Venner
And am in? And you’re taking this opportunity, you’re underneath. You have the ability to create life.

01:13:48:10 – 01:13:49:09
Ramsey Venner
Now, we were talking about.

01:13:49:09 – 01:13:50:22
Ramsey Venner
Elon Musk, and I’m right.

01:13:51:27 – 01:14:00:11
Ramsey Venner
My first kind of introduction to a thought process like that was they used to Henry for I made the Mustang, I made the Model T.

01:14:00:23 – 01:14:01:13
Ramsey Venner
Henry Ford.

01:14:01:14 – 01:14:05:21
Ramsey Venner
Was one of the greatest businessmen in all of basically.

01:14:06:11 – 01:14:07:05
Ramsey Venner
An.

01:14:07:07 – 01:14:09:02
Ramsey Venner
In American business history.

01:14:10:24 – 01:14:12:22
Ramsey Venner
Henry Ford made.

01:14:12:27 – 01:14:13:20
Ramsey Venner
The Model T.

01:14:13:20 – 01:14:15:12
Ramsey Venner
But he was widely.

01:14:15:12 – 01:14:19:17
Ramsey Venner
Thought of as a buffoon. They always used to crack on him, like.

01:14:20:12 – 01:14:21:10
Ramsey Venner
Is this do.

01:14:21:11 – 01:14:22:09
Ramsey Venner
You know what I mean? Like.

01:14:23:05 – 01:14:25:16
Ramsey Venner
Hey, he was just he had an, um.

01:14:26:07 – 01:14:41:26
Ramsey Venner
Breakable tenacity. I read his biography when I was in prison, and I. And his thing was like, there was only a four cylinder engine block. Lee Iacocca was the other one. They took it to eight, but he made the Model T, and he was always.

01:14:41:26 – 01:14:42:23
Ramsey Venner
Getting, you know.

01:14:43:01 – 01:14:56:13
Ramsey Venner
Derided for being a buffoon, an idiot. And then they called him in one day I was like, or I think he got slandered in a newspaper and he caught the dude to the Met and he was like, Listen.

01:14:56:13 – 01:14:57:01
Ramsey Venner
Everybody.

01:14:57:01 – 01:14:58:07
Ramsey Venner
Who has a question about.

01:14:58:16 – 01:14:59:13
Ramsey Venner
My ability.

01:14:59:26 – 01:15:06:03
Ramsey Venner
My reason in my understanding how much information that I can get, I want you to come in. And he called.

01:15:06:03 – 01:15:07:08
Ramsey Venner
A meeting of.

01:15:07:08 – 01:15:11:26
Ramsey Venner
All these people and got him into his office. The Ford office in Detroit sat them all around the roundtable.

01:15:13:20 – 01:15:15:06
Ramsey Venner
Anybody here at this table.

01:15:15:19 – 01:15:19:25
Ramsey Venner
Asked me a question. You have questions about my competency. Ask me a.

01:15:19:25 – 01:15:22:07
Ramsey Venner
Question. Any question.

01:15:22:07 – 01:15:25:24
Ramsey Venner
Under the sun and I will get you an answer in 2 minutes.

01:15:25:24 – 01:15:33:05
Ramsey Venner
Because Henry Ford at that axis, you pick up the phone and talk to anybody you wanted to. He was Henry Ford’s.

01:15:33:09 – 01:15:33:19
Brad Singletary
Phone, a.

01:15:33:19 – 01:15:40:13
Ramsey Venner
Friend and a friend bro. They asked him about physics. They asked him about chemistry. They asked him about bio. I don’t know how long you give me.

01:15:41:05 – 01:15:42:11
Ramsey Venner
Let me let me call this number.

01:15:42:29 – 01:16:11:27
Ramsey Venner
Right. So he understood the the error at that error back then. The ability to harness information. You harness the information, you can synthesize it and use it for whatever you want to. We were just talking about your God power. Elon Musk, the Jeff Bezos that these dudes aren’t even in this planning. Their thought process is about how we get to Mars and what’s the colony they’re going to look like.

01:16:13:16 – 01:16:25:21
Ramsey Venner
As Wild. Well, their thought processes are different, right? And they’re humans. They’re men like me and you. They’re probably like the same age right around here. Right. But just that they’re level of.

01:16:25:21 – 01:16:31:09
Ramsey Venner
Thinking and understanding. Their reasoning about how things work and how the world works is just on a different level.

01:16:31:09 – 01:16:34:00
Ramsey Venner
It’s not this base level that we’re on.

01:16:34:00 – 01:16:35:23
Ramsey Venner
I’m like, I’m gonna just get up and pay these bills. Like.

01:16:36:10 – 01:16:37:04
Ramsey Venner
You know what I mean? Like.

01:16:37:15 – 01:16:39:19
Ramsey Venner
I’m going to go to work so I can make this car note.

01:16:39:19 – 01:16:59:04
Ramsey Venner
Not here. Kanye West, bro. People hate Yeezy, bro, but yeezy is like, Man, I was saying this stuff ten years ago. Everything. Mitchell was mad at me for that, right? Man, y’all giving me props for back then? I said it ten years ago and you hated me when I said it then. But it’s all come to fruition now.

01:16:59:27 – 01:17:02:22
Ramsey Venner
It’s all come to fruition. Tell me I’m not, you know, everything.

01:17:02:22 – 01:17:03:17
Ramsey Venner
That I said. I was going to.

01:17:03:18 – 01:17:08:06
Ramsey Venner
Be back then and now that I’m spouting off more.

01:17:08:06 – 01:17:09:02
Ramsey Venner
Nonsense right.

01:17:09:02 – 01:17:11:04
Ramsey Venner
Now, I better have all of these.

01:17:11:04 – 01:17:14:24
Ramsey Venner
Things ten years from now.

01:17:14:24 – 01:17:34:00
Brad Singletary
So. All right, man. Dude, you are something. I have just a couple. A couple of times today. You, man. I got goose bumps, man. Some of the things you’re saying, it’s really it’s really fascinating just to see that this, like, philosopher’s mind got an athlete’s body philosophers mind you got.

01:17:34:00 – 01:17:34:12
Ramsey Venner
To choose a.

01:17:34:12 – 01:17:35:12
Brad Singletary
Partner spirit.

01:17:36:10 – 01:17:40:19
Ramsey Venner
We call it the decodes man. I got to decode, man. The lawyers and Ramsey. I love you all.

01:17:40:20 – 01:17:47:00
Ramsey Venner
Thank you. Shout out my out made me into this and it God put a little, you know, on the top.

01:17:47:05 – 01:18:11:08
Brad Singletary
But you did something, too. That’s why. That’s why you’re here, man. You know, you’re just you’re not just you’re not just a local business owner. You’re not just a dad. You’re not just you’re doing all these things at a high level. We’ve talked about some of your personal relationships and stuff like that and everything you’re doing. You always seem to be asking questions about how to get yourself in a better spot, whether it’s, you know, business stuff.

01:18:11:13 – 01:18:34:15
Brad Singletary
You’re your workouts, you know, your your employees things at home with the missus. You know, you seem like you’re you’re always just hungry. So in the in the errors that men make, it sounds like you were I couldn’t tell if you were talking about confidence or humility, because there’s really both there that we can be both. We got to be humble enough.

01:18:34:15 – 01:18:49:08
Brad Singletary
And maybe prison taught you some humility. Um, do you think you would have been this guy without that many kids? You got to. You’ve got a sharp mind. You know, you have a lot of great qualities that some of that may be just you were born with.

01:18:50:06 – 01:19:11:25
Ramsey Venner
I think a process, a process negativity. A little different in other people, too. I think I process negativity a lot different actually. Like, okay, I don’t have the spirit to dwell in the negative. I don’t hold grudges. I can’t like it makes me feel bad, right. So in AA and because I went through AA.

01:19:11:25 – 01:19:14:09
Brad Singletary
Right, I love that one. Ask you, I’m glad you came.

01:19:14:09 – 01:19:14:22
Ramsey Venner
Back to that.

01:19:14:23 – 01:19:21:07
Ramsey Venner
AA says the holding is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.

01:19:22:19 – 01:19:25:03
Ramsey Venner
So for me, I can’t never.

01:19:25:08 – 01:19:35:12
Ramsey Venner
I just have never been able to, even if I’m mad at somebody, I can stop messing with you because I feel like it’s not a good look for me or I’ve ceased to see the benefit in this relationship. Right?

01:19:35:12 – 01:19:35:23
Ramsey Venner
Right.

01:19:36:00 – 01:19:49:02
Ramsey Venner
But I never just was nasty or spiteful to people just on a on a strength that we don’t see eye to eye or we don’t get along about a thing. And like, I just feel like I but that’s, that’s, that’s, that’s a old chapter.

01:19:49:28 – 01:19:52:14
Ramsey Venner
But I just. I don’t know, man.

01:19:52:22 – 01:20:10:28
Ramsey Venner
And I’m not very good with boundaries, you know what I mean? I that’s that’s that’s a thing my wife always tells me I’m not very good with boundaries. I used to think it was a strength and not have had like terrible break ups. When I was single. I was like, I thought that was a strength. Like any of my exes, I could.

01:20:10:28 – 01:20:14:02
Ramsey Venner
Probably hit a bump up and, you know, whatever it.

01:20:14:02 – 01:20:25:08
Ramsey Venner
Is, if it’s for help, if it’s for, you know, some niceness, I thought that that was a strength. But at this place in life, in a relationship, I.

01:20:25:08 – 01:20:26:21
Ramsey Venner
Do do better.

01:20:26:21 – 01:20:31:23
Ramsey Venner
By boundaries because there’s people that’ll take advantage of you if you leave those doors open.

01:20:32:08 – 01:20:33:19
Ramsey Venner
Hmm. That’s right. Yeah.

01:20:33:24 – 01:20:36:07
Ramsey Venner
There’s people that’ll take advantage of you or.

01:20:36:15 – 01:20:37:18
Ramsey Venner
You won’t.

01:20:37:18 – 01:20:39:16
Ramsey Venner
Reach your full potential because.

01:20:39:28 – 01:20:42:21
Ramsey Venner
Again, you’re halfway m.

01:20:42:21 – 01:20:57:17
Ramsey Venner
Halfway out of a situation, I think he says know, you see, God wants you to either be hot or cold. Right? Right. Don’t be lukewarm. So I used to love the lukewarm. I love the gray area. I’ve made an album called Gray Hair and big severe gray hair. You got to get that.

01:20:57:25 – 01:21:14:12
Ramsey Venner
And the gray area where I just thought it was like the coolest to be, you know, hey, man I’m I’m here or I’m not. And I’ll be like when I see you used to hear me talking on the phone. Like when you when you’re in the game, when you’re in a life, you say stuff.

01:21:14:12 – 01:21:18:27
Ramsey Venner
Without saying it. You don’t say nothing at all. And you say a bunch of things at the same time. Right? Right.

01:21:18:27 – 01:21:19:24
Ramsey Venner
So yeah.

01:21:19:24 – 01:21:29:03
Ramsey Venner
Man, I’m mean, how much later is not really, but I agree or disagree or yes or no. But I’m glad you later about it. Right.

01:21:29:03 – 01:21:32:06
Ramsey Venner
So little bit. Is that me? Ambivalence.

01:21:32:10 – 01:21:33:15
Brad Singletary
Yeah.

01:21:33:15 – 01:21:34:12
Ramsey Venner
UCLA live.

01:21:34:12 – 01:21:35:06
Ramsey Venner
Right there. Right.

01:21:35:26 – 01:21:37:17
Ramsey Venner
People probably will walk away from me like.

01:21:37:27 – 01:21:38:19
Ramsey Venner
Oh, is he coming?

01:21:41:03 – 01:21:44:06
Ramsey Venner
Are you going to be here? You got to get my I did I I’ll.

01:21:44:06 – 01:21:46:11
Ramsey Venner
See what’s going on and I’ll let you know bro. Like.

01:21:47:14 – 01:21:48:17
Brad Singletary
Oh, noncommittal.

01:21:48:17 – 01:21:51:07
Ramsey Venner
Noncommittal, sober, noncommittal. But now.

01:21:51:27 – 01:21:53:00
Ramsey Venner
You have to make your.

01:21:53:00 – 01:22:07:02
Ramsey Venner
Yes is me. Yes. And you knows, me, know and stand on it because people actually start looking at you. Emmett makes a difference in how you carry yourself and how people interact with you and know what to expect from you.

01:22:07:27 – 01:22:09:17
Ramsey Venner
Yeah, he said no, but I.

01:22:09:17 – 01:22:11:28
Ramsey Venner
Mean if you talk to him again, he might be on something different.

01:22:12:01 – 01:22:25:09
Ramsey Venner
Or yes, he was. You know what I mean? Like, if you just you just you never really stake a position. And for me, I like it because.

01:22:26:01 – 01:22:35:23
Ramsey Venner
I always like being able to, depending on how I’m feeling, make a different outcome. I tell my my family all the time that the best thing in the world to have is options, right?

01:22:36:27 – 01:22:37:18
Ramsey Venner
The best thing.

01:22:37:18 – 01:22:49:13
Ramsey Venner
In the world to have is options. I still stand by that. But how I go about creating options now have to be within the boundaries of what I want my mission to be, where I’m actually trying to take it, where we want to go with it. There’s this an alignment.

01:22:49:13 – 01:22:52:16
Brad Singletary
It doesn’t if it’s not taking you there, you don’t want it now.

01:22:53:19 – 01:23:08:16
Ramsey Venner
Yeah. So the alignment is a big thing. Like alignment is like my, my son is a Sagittarius, right? So that’s the archer. You got to lock in on your target. And even daddy’s like.

01:23:08:16 – 01:23:11:02
Ramsey Venner
Locking my team again.

01:23:11:03 – 01:23:25:05
Ramsey Venner
You lock in on your targeting, and you make all of your moves, all of your conversations, all of your actions toward that desired target. And you’re going to get there if the paces are slow, if you’re crawling sometimes, if you’re, you know, all.

01:23:25:06 – 01:23:26:03
Ramsey Venner
The rolling.

01:23:26:08 – 01:23:28:00
Ramsey Venner
You know, if you’re rolling on your.

01:23:28:00 – 01:23:35:08
Ramsey Venner
Side just to get in that direction, but long as you keep going in that direction, eventually you going to pull up and it’s going to be where you want to be.

01:23:36:11 – 01:23:48:19
Brad Singletary
What’s something that you’re still working on as a man on that, you know, you come a long way, you got all kind of maturity and really great things going on. What’s something you still struggle, but you’re working at?

01:23:48:19 – 01:24:03:27
Ramsey Venner
Saying no is a thing that I’m working on of late deciding what my worth is. Side of what my position is, what my posture is, deciding that some things just aren’t for me do.

01:24:04:03 – 01:24:04:18
Ramsey Venner
Or.

01:24:04:19 – 01:24:28:27
Ramsey Venner
Maybe not the season, maybe not. No. They don’t have value if they don’t have value to me, if they don’t have value to my mission, if they don’t add value to where I want to take my family, then it’s getting easier and easier to make those decisions. I know it’s not doing it. And then I mean, like or, I mean, it could be an opportunity.

01:24:29:04 – 01:24:35:02
Ramsey Venner
Yeah, maybe if, you know, I had a a little stronger back maybe I take that on to buddies.

01:24:35:18 – 01:24:50:28
Brad Singletary
That are just jumping right on, right on to anything that comes along. Like I love the Code by Warren Buffett that said that the difference between successful people and extremely successful is that extremely successful people say no to almost everything.

01:24:50:28 – 01:24:51:08
Ramsey Venner
Yeah.

01:24:52:07 – 01:25:02:22
Brad Singletary
And that’s that’s that’s difficulty for me to just say no. But it’s funny because think about you think about some rich successful person. They, they know how to say no.

01:25:03:01 – 01:25:04:07
Ramsey Venner
You know, all day long. No.

01:25:05:01 – 01:25:05:26
Ramsey Venner
That’s, that’s it.

01:25:06:10 – 01:25:06:14
Ramsey Venner
For.

01:25:07:01 – 01:25:07:14
Brad Singletary
Me, you know.

01:25:07:14 – 01:25:08:16
Ramsey Venner
Really. No. Yeah.

01:25:09:00 – 01:25:10:11
Ramsey Venner
They got people to say no.

01:25:10:23 – 01:25:11:14
Brad Singletary
That’s what he.

01:25:12:16 – 01:25:12:25
Ramsey Venner
Did.

01:25:12:25 – 01:25:15:05
Brad Singletary
To just answer the phone and tell everybody no. Okay.

01:25:15:05 – 01:25:31:24
Ramsey Venner
As of the fall, tell them what I know, you know. But you have to put yourself in a position that. That’s right. The opportunity that you have. Right. Because as we’re striving and as we’re growing and we’re trying to put it together now, the way I feel like I got here is by saying yes to everything. You made me dinner at three in the morning bed.

01:25:31:24 – 01:25:35:24
Ramsey Venner
I got it with you. This a whole hospital by myself?

01:25:35:24 – 01:25:39:26
Ramsey Venner
Yeah, I’ll do it, you know? I mean, I’m just that that’s how I got.

01:25:39:26 – 01:25:41:04
Ramsey Venner
To the place that I’m.

01:25:41:20 – 01:25:44:04
Ramsey Venner
That I’m at right now, where we have employees.

01:25:44:04 – 01:25:55:15
Ramsey Venner
And have relationships. And we’re doing business on every part of this city. And we have vehicles that are there now. And any time I click on my phone, I have some people under my label that are.

01:25:55:15 – 01:25:58:00
Ramsey Venner
At work helping me build a.

01:25:58:00 – 01:26:00:19
Ramsey Venner
Future for our family, like their family.

01:26:00:19 – 01:26:08:22
Ramsey Venner
As well, don’t get me wrong. But at the same time, listen, they’re on a clock. I’m I’m talking to you. So this is this is building.

01:26:08:22 – 01:26:10:26
Ramsey Venner
In a different way. But understand.

01:26:10:26 – 01:26:13:09
Ramsey Venner
It took me saying yes to everything.

01:26:13:09 – 01:26:21:00
Ramsey Venner
To get to this place. Now, as it relates to my personal time, as it relates to what I will do with my with my energy and my attention, and.

01:26:21:00 – 01:26:23:13
Brad Singletary
Even in your companies, because you’ve got other people doing some of.

01:26:23:13 – 01:26:32:13
Ramsey Venner
That. Yes. Even as a as it comes to that, it’s we say no when we have to or no when it’s not the right fit or no, because.

01:26:32:13 – 01:26:32:29
Ramsey Venner
I’ve been.

01:26:32:29 – 01:26:36:01
Ramsey Venner
Down that road and I know that it’s not as sweet as it sounds.

01:26:36:18 – 01:26:37:06
Ramsey Venner
You know what I mean?

01:26:37:06 – 01:26:45:17
Ramsey Venner
Like, there’s there’s some jobs where I’m like, oh, I know. I remember that. Nope you know, restaurants no. On doing.

01:26:46:05 – 01:26:49:19
Ramsey Venner
Because while you’re willing to actually pay.

01:26:49:20 – 01:27:05:25
Ramsey Venner
For us to come and do that service the is for me to have my folks going there and night after night after night that don’t work in the restaurant industry. When I remember the nights when I worked in the kitchen and it’s two in the morning, I got to pull up the grates and it’s food and it’s smell and it’s grease.

01:27:06:17 – 01:27:16:28
Ramsey Venner
My folks aren’t going to be able to respond to that every night in the way that I want my company to be represented. So my brand will suffer because we are not able to.

01:27:16:28 – 01:27:17:20
Ramsey Venner
Fulfill.

01:27:18:05 – 01:27:28:13
Ramsey Venner
At the level that we’re supposed to fulfill, like we deliver superior cleaning every time. That’s our tagline, Superior cleaning every time, right? And we do our muster where we do a whole screaming thing.

01:27:28:25 – 01:27:32:22
Ramsey Venner
Every time, every time, every time, every time, all the time, all the.

01:27:32:22 – 01:27:38:15
Ramsey Venner
Time. You know what I mean? And my folks get involved with it because again, when we’re out there and we’re servicing our clients.

01:27:38:24 – 01:27:39:08
Ramsey Venner
You don’t want.

01:27:39:08 – 01:27:42:01
Ramsey Venner
Them to feel like, you know, these dudes came and found it.

01:27:42:03 – 01:27:43:25
Brad Singletary
Easy to cut the corners.

01:27:43:25 – 01:27:47:09
Ramsey Venner
Today. And when I look at, you know, what it takes to do a.

01:27:47:09 – 01:27:54:29
Ramsey Venner
Week of restaurant, clean up, it’s not a lot of folks is cut out for that. Like if you’re in the food industry, you know, it comes along with it.

01:27:55:13 – 01:27:56:22
Ramsey Venner
But if you’re playing.

01:27:56:22 – 01:28:03:16
Ramsey Venner
In beautiful buildings and, you know, dealerships and offices and you know what I mean? The church lobby like.

01:28:03:16 – 01:28:07:17
Ramsey Venner
To send you into that hill because like, bro.

01:28:07:29 – 01:28:10:26
Ramsey Venner
I know all the stuff we’re.

01:28:10:26 – 01:28:29:04
Ramsey Venner
I walked out of my job. I walked out of a job because the kitchen was nasty. One time I worked at T.G.I. Fridays. Do you remember to hear from your business now? So listen, I walked into T.G.I. Friday’s. You saw it coming. I was mad. Listen, I was in there cooking and I had that on my in the little appetizer section.

01:28:29:04 – 01:28:43:19
Ramsey Venner
And I’m making what was in the potato skins and buffalo wings. And I’m breezy a mad it’s like 130 in the morning. He’s like, yeah, you got to clean out. The fried of grease is still 350 degrees coming in on the day fire right now. Man.

01:28:44:07 – 01:28:45:25
Ramsey Venner
Listen, you got to clean out there, FRYER.

01:28:45:25 – 01:28:51:22
Ramsey Venner
You got to take it. Strain the oil through this thing, take the oil, put it back in. And I’m like, listen.

01:28:52:07 – 01:28:54:21
Ramsey Venner
I’m going to go ahead and take this apron off this.

01:28:55:12 – 01:28:57:16
Brad Singletary
So you are doing janitorial. You worked for two years.

01:28:57:16 – 01:29:01:21
Ramsey Venner
You worked as a cook. And it was just one night we.

01:29:01:21 – 01:29:10:20
Ramsey Venner
Got to slaughter, right. And I was just like, man, I was dumb. You know what I mean? Like, like T.G.I. Friday’s used to pop on the weekends and use that one 3230 in the morning is like.

01:29:10:20 – 01:29:11:02
Ramsey Venner
Going.

01:29:12:02 – 01:29:17:22
Ramsey Venner
It’s done finally. I’ve been working since 5:00. It’s 230 in the morning and now I got.

01:29:17:22 – 01:29:19:05
Ramsey Venner
To go clean out the fryer.

01:29:20:22 – 01:29:24:19
Ramsey Venner
Listen, man. I’m going to go home.

01:29:24:19 – 01:29:38:10
Brad Singletary
I worked at it. I worked at a Pizza Hut in Florida and it was really well run. I was like 18, 19. And then I moved to another state and worked at a Pizza Hut. I came in or one day as opener. Yeah. And I was able to get the dough going and all this and I left as such a mess.

01:29:38:10 – 01:29:51:04
Brad Singletary
I quit the job, I just left. They walked in, the manager came in 11. There were no no food ready. Yeah, I just left it on standby. I can’t do it so clean. Free. That’s the name of your company. That’s. Are you a clean freak?

01:29:51:13 – 01:29:55:22
Ramsey Venner
I used to be a lot more of a clean freak. And then I started having babies.

01:29:56:00 – 01:29:59:05
Brad Singletary
So now it’s all good. It’s just. We’ll get that. We’ll get.

01:29:59:09 – 01:30:19:01
Ramsey Venner
It. It’s in general, in my personal life, things that we, you know, maintain a high standard for everything as it relates to, you know, business and our clients. But at my house, like, you know, like I told you, there’s so many so much time taken away by being in the world and building business like you just want to be around your people.

01:30:19:01 – 01:30:22:15
Ramsey Venner
So you still go nuts? Yeah. Yeah, I’m still.

01:30:23:25 – 01:30:24:07
Ramsey Venner
I’m sitting.

01:30:24:07 – 01:30:33:21
Ramsey Venner
Here taking it. But then, you know, me and my wife, we blow staff blessing around the house like we make the kids clean up. I mean, you can’t just live in squalor.

01:30:33:22 – 01:30:34:18
Ramsey Venner
And still live where you.

01:30:34:18 – 01:30:38:26
Brad Singletary
Travel. I already met your wife. I didn’t know that place pretty well.

01:30:39:02 – 01:30:40:09
Ramsey Venner
Yeah, she runs a tight ship.

01:30:40:12 – 01:31:02:05
Brad Singletary
Tell me, man. Well, last question for you, bro. What is the most Alpha thing about you? What attribute, what gift you know, what talent can you really own? Or more than one, but what the most Alpha things about you, the things that are just special about you and that you don’t apologize, that that is a special the strength you have.

01:31:02:20 – 01:31:21:10
Ramsey Venner
I just I think I’ve always had the mentality that if any man can do it, then I can do it. I don’t care what it is. I don’t care if it’s it’s climbing a building like it was jumping on a plane. I don’t care if he’s starting a business. I don’t care if it’s, you know, learning how to balance budget.

01:31:21:24 – 01:31:41:09
Ramsey Venner
I just don’t. The only difference between me and Elon Musk is information. He’s got information that I haven’t got yet. He’s got access to information that I haven’t been given yet or that I haven’t sought out yet. I don’t know the questions to ask exactly. But if there’s something that I want in this world, I can have it.

01:31:41:09 – 01:31:58:25
Ramsey Venner
And I don’t apologize for it. I don’t apologize. And the other part about me, I’m that dude is going to go get it. I don’t care about sleep. I don’t care about like, you know, people’s perception of me. Work too hard. You need to relax. You needed I mean, I take you from my wife. That’s it.

01:31:58:25 – 01:32:01:17
Ramsey Venner
But anybody else telling me how.

01:32:01:17 – 01:32:07:26
Ramsey Venner
I see, you know, adjudicate my time and what I should do with my time to my attention, I don’t bar.

01:32:08:02 – 01:32:12:28
Brad Singletary
Your homies mad at you this, Duke. Busy. He got kids. He got a business. He tried to hang out.

01:32:13:16 – 01:32:28:23
Ramsey Venner
I don’t I know people like that. Anybody that’s just trying to hang out, that’s that’s that’s long since gone. Like, I had those type of folks when I was sitting in prison, you know, because again, okay, that’s the time to hang out with. Since I’ve touched down, I.

01:32:28:23 – 01:32:29:03
Ramsey Venner
Haven’t.

01:32:29:17 – 01:32:32:20
Ramsey Venner
Like there’s folks that will either go because they got their own.

01:32:32:20 – 01:32:35:13
Ramsey Venner
Thing going. Yeah. And we can commute.

01:32:35:13 – 01:32:47:04
Ramsey Venner
And talking and maybe go get lunch on that level or you tell me what’s going on with you and I’ll tell you what’s going on with me. How can we help each other? Like I have business partners. I got people that I do bills and commitments with.

01:32:47:19 – 01:32:48:19
Ramsey Venner
I don’t have.

01:32:48:19 – 01:33:05:06
Ramsey Venner
A lot of slack. Nothing like recreational basketball team seemed like, cumbersome to me. I was like, well, yes, only my kids and my business to go shoot around a hoop. This is just where I’ve kind of trained and.

01:33:05:11 – 01:33:08:10
Ramsey Venner
I don’t know. I don’t have that.

01:33:09:04 – 01:33:11:24
Ramsey Venner
Feeling like I’m approaching burnout or you know what I.

01:33:11:24 – 01:33:15:19
Ramsey Venner
Mean? I love what I do. I love my wife. I love how.

01:33:15:25 – 01:33:22:29
Ramsey Venner
How every day there’s a different challenge. I wish a lot of it was, you know, easier or are all put together.

01:33:22:29 – 01:33:24:00
Ramsey Venner
Are already done.

01:33:24:09 – 01:33:27:20
Ramsey Venner
But I realize right now in the fire I’m building.

01:33:28:16 – 01:33:43:18
Brad Singletary
The journey is the destination, right? Yes. I mean, like. That’s all right. This is the beauty of it. Yes, sir. The outcome is right now you’re right now you’re you’re learning and growing. You lighten everything up on the inside as you watch it happen, you’re figuring out a big old puzzle.

01:33:43:26 – 01:33:44:09
Ramsey Venner
Yes.

01:33:44:09 – 01:34:00:18
Brad Singletary
How to be a man, how to be a father, how to be alive and how to be an entrepreneur. You know how to keep your faith, how to do all the things that are just going to bring you peace and happiness. I love what you’ve done with your life, man. I love what you’re. It’s even more impressive than I knew it would have been here talking to you tonight.

01:34:00:18 – 01:34:02:11
Brad Singletary
I definitely want to have you back, man.

01:34:02:17 – 01:34:03:08
Ramsey Venner
Any time you.

01:34:03:08 – 01:34:10:25
Brad Singletary
Got you have. You definitely have. You just got a great voice. You’ve got a great story. You got wisdom. I just man, we’re going to I want to.

01:34:11:03 – 01:34:28:10
Ramsey Venner
Give an inside man. We give a lay low, man. That’s all it is, man. We give life and love and we’re just going to keep putting it out there. Listen, anybody who’s listening to this program right now, I’m going to do a solid because my dude is like my brother from another mother. Listen, you guys want to get into the janitorial space.

01:34:28:21 – 01:34:30:21
Ramsey Venner
Even if you don’t want, to get into the janitorial space.

01:34:30:21 – 01:34:31:01
Ramsey Venner
If you.

01:34:31:01 – 01:34:31:25
Ramsey Venner
Want to create.

01:34:32:07 – 01:34:34:14
Ramsey Venner
A business, the semi passive that.

01:34:34:14 – 01:34:35:12
Ramsey Venner
Can help you.

01:34:35:20 – 01:34:39:19
Ramsey Venner
Change the course of your family like clean freak is done for me.

01:34:39:19 – 01:34:45:21
Ramsey Venner
I want to give you a copy of our free e-book. Okay? Just all of the folks that are out there in the Alpha.

01:34:45:21 – 01:34:48:20
Ramsey Venner
Quorum, all of the Alphas that are out there listening. This is for you.

01:34:48:20 – 01:34:49:28
Ramsey Venner
Bro right now.

01:34:49:28 – 01:34:53:08
Ramsey Venner
Go to Ramsey Venter r msci.

01:34:53:08 – 01:34:55:06
Ramsey Venner
V an e r dot.

01:34:55:06 – 01:34:56:16
Ramsey Venner
Com forward slash.

01:34:56:17 – 01:34:59:26
Ramsey Venner
E-Book. Okay, take that e-book for free.

01:34:59:26 – 01:35:02:15
Ramsey Venner
That’s on me. I’m giving you guys that code right now.

01:35:02:15 – 01:35:03:16
Ramsey Venner
You get the e-book.

01:35:03:27 – 01:35:07:11
Ramsey Venner
Follow the steps. We have a webinar that’s out there, 30 minute webinar.

01:35:07:11 – 01:35:09:07
Ramsey Venner
I tell you everything you’re going to me.

01:35:09:17 – 01:35:11:29
Ramsey Venner
Everything that you’re going to learn inside of our program.

01:35:12:07 – 01:35:17:04
Ramsey Venner
You like that? Go ahead and follow that trail and get the program.

01:35:17:04 – 01:35:18:22
Ramsey Venner
Blueprint of janitorial success.

01:35:19:07 – 01:35:24:13
Ramsey Venner
Every step that it took us to get there and I’m going to personally help you did.

01:35:24:13 – 01:35:25:02
Ramsey Venner
Your first.

01:35:25:02 – 01:35:26:13
Ramsey Venner
Couple of clients and get.

01:35:26:13 – 01:35:30:08
Ramsey Venner
You started in the janitorial space. I don’t want you to be a front line worker. This is.

01:35:30:08 – 01:35:30:28
Ramsey Venner
Not that.

01:35:30:28 – 01:35:31:12
Ramsey Venner
This is not.

01:35:31:12 – 01:35:34:24
Ramsey Venner
About getting out there and and get your.

01:35:34:24 – 01:35:36:25
Brad Singletary
Job as a yeah. This is not the.

01:35:36:25 – 01:35:46:06
Ramsey Venner
Kind of job I’m going to show you how to create a somewhat passive business, a semi passive business that will get you thousands a month.

01:35:47:03 – 01:35:56:06
Ramsey Venner
Tens of thousands a month where you can change what you’re doing. You’re making four or five grand. It’s a job right now. You’re working eight, ten, 15 hours a day unsatisfied. You don’t like.

01:35:56:06 – 01:35:56:21
Ramsey Venner
Where you live.

01:35:56:21 – 01:35:58:27
Ramsey Venner
You don’t like where you drive. You don’t like who you’re talking to.

01:35:59:05 – 01:36:01:09
Ramsey Venner
Okay, we’ll get on board with this blueprint.

01:36:01:09 – 01:36:02:15
Ramsey Venner
Of janitorial success.

01:36:02:28 – 01:36:12:10
Ramsey Venner
Take that. Learn the lessons that we’ve put together. I’ve already done the work for you. You just got to follow suit. There’s videos. There’s videos from people on my team.

01:36:12:10 – 01:36:14:03
Ramsey Venner
Testimonials from people will tell you.

01:36:14:03 – 01:36:16:20
Ramsey Venner
Exactly how we did it. I stand on the things that we.

01:36:16:20 – 01:36:17:16
Ramsey Venner
Put in this video.

01:36:17:25 – 01:36:20:13
Ramsey Venner
You take a look at that blueprint of janitorial success.

01:36:20:13 – 01:36:23:18
Ramsey Venner
Follow yourself down that path. Listen, I’m going to personally.

01:36:23:18 – 01:36:28:05
Ramsey Venner
Be your coach to help you get to where you need to be and start.

01:36:28:05 – 01:36:30:18
Ramsey Venner
Making passive income in the janitorial space.

01:36:30:22 – 01:36:35:15
Ramsey Venner
I guarantee you you will love everything that you see. And if you follow the.

01:36:35:15 – 01:36:39:14
Ramsey Venner
Steps that you’ve that we’ve put together in this program, it will change your life.

01:36:40:01 – 01:36:49:22
Brad Singletary
Dude, I love it. I want to make sure we usually post this on Thursday, so I’ll make sure I have the links and everything I got to get a cool picture of you and I appreciate you being here. Ramsey. You just you.

01:36:49:28 – 01:36:50:07
Ramsey Venner
As.

01:36:50:07 – 01:37:08:08
Brad Singletary
Luis telling you, man, this has been remarkable to me. It’s amazing to me how these episodes keep getting better and better. We’re on like I think this is maybe 98,000. So 98 now we’ve been at this for years. I’m just like, you blow him away, dude. I’m. I’m sitting over here, got the goose bumps listening to what you shared.

01:37:08:19 – 01:37:13:15
Brad Singletary
Thank you so much, man. We want to get your links out there, your your social media, whatever you want to share.

01:37:13:15 – 01:37:13:28
Ramsey Venner
Yeah.

01:37:13:28 – 01:37:28:05
Brad Singletary
And I’ll support you. Do a man. If there’s something I can do, dude, I will. I’ll help you in whatever way I can. So. Absolutely. Thank you for being here, man. I really appreciate it. And you guys. Here’s a story of a man who had every reason to give up.

01:37:28:19 – 01:37:28:29
Ramsey Venner
The.

01:37:29:25 – 01:37:51:12
Brad Singletary
Continue continuous arrests, continuous trouble, substance use was a problem. I’m sure the ladies were a problem. Oh, yeah. You know, you got yourself into trouble. You know, you were a high profile person as an athlete and and all that came crashing down. You learn some humility. Picked up a good book in in the big house.

01:37:51:13 – 01:37:52:06
Ramsey Venner
Yeah. You know.

01:37:52:06 – 01:38:12:03
Brad Singletary
And made a big life for yourself and are making a big life for yourself because the result of those things we use in other men. You asked me questions about things. I hear you talking to these other men and really pursuing their wisdom and and you you just it’s it’s special. It’s a privilege for me to sit here and listen to you, man.

01:38:12:03 – 01:38:20:27
Brad Singletary
I can’t wait to hear this whole thing put together. I don’t think I have one. I don’t think I have one. I think I’ve coughed or maybe I farted in there somewhere, but I.

01:38:21:12 – 01:38:22:08
Ramsey Venner
Was like, Maybe it’s just.

01:38:22:08 – 01:38:26:14
Brad Singletary
Smooth. This is so smooth. I love how you’ve spoken. You’re a nightmare. I appreciate it, Ramsey.

01:38:26:14 – 01:38:27:17
Ramsey Venner
Appreciate you guys.

01:38:27:17 – 01:38:36:06
Brad Singletary
Until next time, no excuses. Alpha Up.

01:38:36:06 – 01:38:40:03
Outro
Gentlemen, you are the Alpha and this is the Alpha Quorum.

. I’m like the heck you are.

00:00:05:06 – 00:00:05:28
Donald “Butch” Williams
And he did it.

00:00:06:05 – 00:00:18:13
Donald “Butch” Williams
He would walk to my house every night and he would just walk the neighborhood with me every night. He said, how about the plan of going home and learning to love your wife and.

00:00:18:20 – 00:00:22:11
Donald “Butch” Williams
Have her learn to love you? What I garnered from that.

00:00:23:13 – 00:00:27:15
Donald “Butch” Williams
Was this concept of one on one time. He said, Just hold on.

00:00:28:06 – 00:00:31:15
Donald “Butch” Williams
Just hold on. The light will return.

00:00:32:29 – 00:00:35:10
Donald “Butch” Williams
So he turned me in to the Nevada State Bar.

00:00:36:05 – 00:00:39:06
Donald “Butch” Williams
Wrote a letter on me, said, Mr. Williams told me to go.

00:00:39:20 – 00:00:40:16
Donald “Butch” Williams
F myself.

00:00:42:27 – 00:00:47:24
Donald “Butch” Williams
If I need a car. I got a call from bar counsel. Who is this porch? Williams?

00:00:48:15 – 00:00:49:01
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yes, sir.

00:00:49:21 – 00:00:52:01
Donald “Butch” Williams
Did you tell that lawyer to go F himself.

00:00:52:24 – 00:00:53:17
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yes, I did.

00:00:54:13 – 00:00:58:00
Donald “Butch” Williams
Can you not do that anymore? No, I won’t. And I’ve never done it again.

00:01:04:05 – 00:01:23:23
Speaker 3
If you’re a man that controls his own destiny, a man that is always in the pursuit of being better, you are in the right place. You are responsible. You are strong. You are a leader. You are a force for good. Gentlemen. This is the Alpha Corps.

00:01:30:21 – 00:01:56:23
Brad Singletary
Our guest today was born in Las Vegas on February 2nd. 1966 He’s the youngest of five children. His father worked a variety of jobs when Bush was a kid. His father started the Las Vegas Motocross Club and later the Las Vegas Bicycle Motocross Club. Every Saturday and Sunday, he spent at the motocross and bicycle motocross track with his family organizing and running events.

00:01:57:08 – 00:02:19:01
Brad Singletary
Butch also raced both BMX and motocross himself. When Butch was about 14 years old. The track was no more feasible to run. His dad started a plumbing company, and Butch began to learn the trade of plumbing, which also worked a variety of other jobs and high school, including being a dishwasher at Marie Calendar’s and driving a delivery truck.

00:02:19:20 – 00:02:47:14
Brad Singletary
When he was 19 years old, he decided to serve in LDS Mission which had joined the church approximately three years earlier. He served in Alaska and had a wonderful time there. Upon returning home, he attended college at UNLV and then received a Bachelor of Science Degree in Construction Management from Brigham Young University in 1991. While at BYU, he met and married the magnificent Paula Jones from Woodburn, Oregon.

00:02:48:25 – 00:03:18:22
Brad Singletary
They have six children, five of whom are married. They are the grandparents of ten grandchildren, which attended law school at the MCGEORGE School of Law in Sacramento, California. He graduated in 1994 and returned to Las Vegas with his family in 1997. He started his own law practice. He mostly represents contractors and subcontractors in construction issues. He also practices in the areas of real estate and business law.

00:03:19:08 – 00:03:42:19
Brad Singletary
Approximately seven years ago, his son in law, Drew Starbuck, graduated law school and came to work with Butch. Mr. Starbucks practices primarily in real estate planning and probate. They own the firm Williams Starbuck. But I’m so glad to have you here, man. I have been I’ve had my eye on you since I started this whole thing and thought, That’s it, dude, I want to get in here.

00:03:42:19 – 00:04:02:13
Brad Singletary
So we ran around in some of the same circles here, probably ten or 15 years ago, and I’ve moved to the other side of town, and maybe you’ve moved out of that neighborhood, but I’ve watched you with your family and what you have going on. And I just thought this is the exactly the type of man that I want to highlight once we get around to being able to do that.

00:04:02:13 – 00:04:13:29
Brad Singletary
So welcome here, man. I really appreciate you driving all this way. Drove up to my building today and I see this black Corvette and, and I knew exactly who was here.

00:04:14:21 – 00:04:18:06
Donald “Butch” Williams
It’s an old one. It didn’t cost very much or whatever.

00:04:18:06 – 00:04:46:11
Brad Singletary
It’s super sweet. So again, thank you for being here, man. We’re just we’re just trying to help men level themselves up, whether that be through education or through learning how to have be better in their family or through emotional intelligence, you know, recovering from addictions and just being good men. And so anyone who knows you, I’m sure, would safely say that’s a good dude to be highlighting as a good as a good man.

00:04:46:11 – 00:04:48:05
Brad Singletary
So thank you again for being here.

00:04:48:19 – 00:05:05:18
Donald “Butch” Williams
I’m glad to be here. And I surely don’t deserve any praise. But but I life life has been good to me. Challenging but good. And if there’s ever a time to spend on raising young men to me and it’s now, right?

00:05:05:18 – 00:05:23:22
Brad Singletary
Yes, totally. That’s one of the reasons that we feel good about what we’re doing. We have a smaller audience but I think we’ve had listeners from 39 different countries through this whole thing. And so we’re hoping to just continue to grow this and appreciate you being a part of a part of this here today. So talk more about your family.

00:05:23:22 – 00:05:28:23
Brad Singletary
You’ve got ten grandchildren. Are they are most of your kids here in town or they live in other places or.

00:05:29:06 – 00:05:49:10
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah, so we’ve got my oldest son, Tyson, and his wife live in the San Diego area. They’re in Carlsbad, California, OK? They’ve got three little kids and yeah, he runs a shelter business down there. And as a couple of other things that he’s involved in, we’re trying to get him back to Las Vegas, but he seems to like that surf too much.

00:05:49:11 – 00:05:57:06
Donald “Butch” Williams
I bet. So I’m sure he Sanford coming home. He won’t be back My daughter, Kayla.

00:05:57:21 – 00:06:17:01
Donald “Butch” Williams
Kayla Starbuck, she’s married to Drew Starbuck, OK? And she’s wonderful. And a matter of fact, when she met Drew when they were in college, he wasn’t sure where he was going. And so she helped him figure out where he was going. And next thing you know, he was in law school and next thing you know, he’s practicing with me.

00:06:17:16 – 00:06:23:04
Donald “Butch” Williams
So never underestimate the power of a magnificent woman, right?

00:06:23:04 – 00:06:24:03
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah. You can keep.

00:06:24:04 – 00:06:28:02
Brad Singletary
Your eye on in there. If he’s working with that, you can you can always be watching, right?

00:06:28:02 – 00:06:37:15
Donald “Butch” Williams
All the time. He’s great. He’s he was in the Marines, and so he came in with maturity and just just a good guy. Good, humble guy.

00:06:37:25 – 00:06:39:13
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah. Looking for a little girls.

00:06:39:13 – 00:06:45:00
Brad Singletary
I looked him up. I looked up on your website and looked up you and him and saw your pictures and read a little bit about him. It’s impressive.

00:06:45:08 – 00:06:45:29
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah, he’s.

00:06:45:29 – 00:07:00:18
Donald “Butch” Williams
He really is that good. We just love him to death. Then I have a son named Zach. Zach’s married, and he just finished law school. He decided not to come to work for Dad, but he’s working for a big firm. I guess it pays more money. I don’t know.

00:07:01:16 – 00:07:02:15
Donald “Butch” Williams
He’s doing well.

00:07:02:16 – 00:07:26:19
Donald “Butch” Williams
And I’ve got a daughter named Hailey. She’s up in Utah. She’s married to Vince Miller. We just love this guy. He graduated with a master’s in accounting, but his love is the army is. Well, his father was next in line to be the chaplain for the United States Army. Wow. And decided he didn’t want to quite go that path.

00:07:26:19 – 00:07:38:08
Donald “Butch” Williams
But Vince has followed his father in the military, and he finished Army Ranger training last year. And just now he’s trying to be a Green Beret. So I.

00:07:38:13 – 00:07:40:03
Donald “Butch” Williams
Now yeah, he’s a he’s a fun.

00:07:40:03 – 00:08:09:27
Donald “Butch” Williams
Kid. Plus, he likes to go fishing. And I like that so I got a place to fish. Hey, yeah. I have a son named Josh. Josh is married here in Las Vegas. He’s working in the construction industry. And finishing his education at U and LV in my last girl or child, I should say, is Alexa. And Alexa just finished flight attendant school for Breeze Airlines, which is, I guess, a subsidiary of some sort to JetBlue.

00:08:10:08 – 00:08:11:19
Donald “Butch” Williams
OK, so maybe we’ll get some.

00:08:11:19 – 00:08:16:21
Donald “Butch” Williams
Free flights out of all of this. I don’t know how many passes like Buddy passes and I like free.

00:08:18:19 – 00:08:23:04
Brad Singletary
So your wife, you said she’s from Oregon. You met her at school. You met in college, right?

00:08:23:04 – 00:08:36:24
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah. She’s amazing. She is from a little town called Wood or I should say named Woodburn, Oregon. Her father is a veterinarian. I thought I might be marrying into money. I come to find out he’s a farm vet.

00:08:38:06 – 00:08:40:17
Donald “Butch” Williams
Right. Like I came to further find out.

00:08:41:09 – 00:08:42:29
Donald “Butch” Williams
If it cost more than the price of the.

00:08:42:29 – 00:08:48:19
Donald “Butch” Williams
Cow. They usually just shoot the cow as the oldest of six kids.

00:08:50:05 – 00:08:51:20
Donald “Butch” Williams
She’s just great, you know?

00:08:53:00 – 00:09:06:05
Brad Singletary
So you we talked a little bit about your career. You have a law practice here. You do like construction stuff. That’s a majority of what you’re doing. It is. And then your son in law.

00:09:07:03 – 00:09:07:10
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah.

00:09:07:11 – 00:09:08:13
Donald “Butch” Williams
Drew Starbuck, yeah.

00:09:08:14 – 00:09:28:27
Brad Singletary
And then your son in law, Drew. He does some other things, real estate and different types of types of practice there. So you started that three years at three years after you graduated. That’s pretty quick. I, I mean, I don’t know much about the practice of law, but it seems like three years after that’s fast doing your own thing.

00:09:29:03 – 00:09:51:07
Donald “Butch” Williams
It was probably too quick. But, you know, I had worked three different jobs in three years out of law school now. I never got fired but I always just felt like I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to be doing. So I came home one day kind of in a somber mood. And my wife was five months pregnant with our fifth child.

00:09:51:26 – 00:10:09:23
Donald “Butch” Williams
And I said, Honey, I’m just I just don’t know what it is. And she said, well, start your own practice. I said, I don’t have any clients. I said, Maybe one or two. She said, It’ll work out. I said, But you’re five months pregnant. We don’t have health insurance. It’ll work out so the first call I made was to the baby doctor, I’ll never forget.

00:10:09:24 – 00:10:13:03
Donald “Butch” Williams
Call you. Do you accept a payment plan.

00:10:15:14 – 00:10:18:10
Donald “Butch” Williams
And he said, We’ll work it out. So I.

00:10:18:21 – 00:10:35:16
Donald “Butch” Williams
I went to the bank, and in those days I’ll never forget the guy. I believe his name was Larry Woodrum. And he was at Bank West of Nevada, and somebody said, You got to go see Larry. He’ll loan you money. So I walk in and I sit down with this guy, and I’m sure my head was hung down low.

00:10:35:25 – 00:10:50:25
Donald “Butch” Williams
I said, Can I borrow $50,000 to start a law practice? 15 minutes later, I had $50,000 in account. Wow. And all magnificent part of that, as I look back of the story, is that two years later I called him. I said.

00:10:50:25 – 00:10:51:06
Donald “Butch” Williams
Larry.

00:10:51:16 – 00:10:57:01
Donald “Butch” Williams
Can you take your $50,000 back? I never had to use it, and I’m tired of paying interest on it.

00:10:57:13 – 00:10:58:18
Donald “Butch” Williams
Wow. So.

00:10:59:03 – 00:11:04:14
Donald “Butch” Williams
You know, I don’t think people get loans that easy anymore in Las Vegas. But but that’s how it worked out.

00:11:04:14 – 00:11:15:00
Brad Singletary
And it seems like your wife had all the faith in the beginning. She kind of pushed you toward it and said, don’t you worry, like it’ll work out. And you had the courage to make a big leave. That’s that’s impressive.

00:11:15:13 – 00:11:46:17
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah. I’ve talked to a lot of young men who wanted to start their own practice, and they have asked me over the years how do you do it? And I would ask them a question, how much do you give to charity every month? And if the response was very little, then I would say, you’re not ready yet. Now, the reason I said that is because when I was going to start my own practice, I was actually racing motorcycles again.

00:11:46:17 – 00:12:04:17
Donald “Butch” Williams
And I was out at the track one night and I was talking to a friend of mine and he asked me a question. He said, How much do you give to charity every month? And I said, I don’t know, 40 or $50. And he told me, You’re not ready to start your own practice. Wow. And I said, Well, how much do you give?

00:12:04:17 – 00:12:23:27
Donald “Butch” Williams
And he told me. I said, Well, that’s my house payment. He said, Yeah. He said, When you learn that concept, you’ll be fine. And so what we did is I actually went home that night and I was kind of mad at my friend. That is being a little judgmental, but we went home that night and I talked to my wife about it.

00:12:23:27 – 00:12:56:02
Donald “Butch” Williams
I said, Honey, I think there’s something to what he’s saying. If we’re going to start this, we get we got to give more and she said, OK, so we did. We immediately started to give more. And, you know, the phone has always ring. So here I and that was 1997 and now we’re in 2022 and even through the recession the phone rang and so every young person that I have given that counsel to whether it be in the practice of law or other business, their phone is ringing.

00:12:56:08 – 00:13:09:06
Brad Singletary
Well what, what is the principle there like? I mean just that you are you have the kind of maturity, you have the kind of, you know, selfless maturity or something. How does that work? What is the math on that?

00:13:10:08 – 00:13:39:02
Donald “Butch” Williams
I don’t think it’s earthly math. Right. You know, my parents, when I when I decided to join the LDS Church and in the end serve a mission, they were OK with me joining the LDS Church. But when I decided to serve a mission that didn’t go over or as well originally as what I thought it might, but they knew I was dedicated because I, I worked and I saved about 12 or $13,000 and this was back in 1984, 1985.

00:13:39:02 – 00:14:03:17
Donald “Butch” Williams
So it’s a lot of hard work and a lot of savings. When I came home from that mission, my money was still in my bank account. I had no idea that they had paid for it. Wow. And I asked my parents what, what did you do, why they said, well, we just decided to pay for it, but now we’re going to give money every month to a charity because we recognize our business had never done so well so you know, those are things stick in your mind, right.

00:14:04:15 – 00:14:04:25
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah.

00:14:04:25 – 00:14:27:05
Brad Singletary
That’s great modeling from your parents who didn’t necessarily share the same faith but but respected what you did. And even though they started to show you, you you originally showed them you taught them something that they reinforced you carried that and spread that same message to young professionals out there. That’s what I’m talking about. That’s why you’re here right now, that kind of thing, man.

00:14:27:05 – 00:14:28:29
Brad Singletary
I got goosebumps thinking about this.

00:14:29:15 – 00:14:43:29
Donald “Butch” Williams
And that was pretty powerful. Another thing I did as soon as I made just a little bit of money is I put $1,000 cash in my pocket. In that thousand dollars cash has been there now since 19, I guess 1997. So please don’t mug me.

00:14:44:05 – 00:14:51:25
Donald “Butch” Williams
If I’m black for every black Corvette, that guy’s got money in his pocket. But the concept again, I was a.

00:14:51:25 – 00:15:02:13
Donald “Butch” Williams
Little kid and this guy walked into our house on 560 Saint Louis and downtown Las Vegas. His name was John Vann. Who he was a friend of my father’s. And he pulled out.

00:15:02:13 – 00:15:07:19
Donald “Butch” Williams
This wad of cash was a little kid in a in a lower than middle class income.

00:15:07:19 – 00:15:33:25
Donald “Butch” Williams
I’m looking at that thinking I don’t know what he does, but I’m in, you know. Right. I said John, why do you carry that that money? He said, so I can say no to people if I need to. Now, that stuck with me, too. So as a young lawyer, if somebody walked into my office and to this day, even if they’ve got money if something doesn’t feel right, I know I’ve got enough in my pocket to feed my family for a little while.

00:15:33:28 – 00:15:35:00
Donald “Butch” Williams
Wow. And so that.

00:15:35:00 – 00:15:36:22
Donald “Butch” Williams
Concept, you mean.

00:15:36:22 – 00:15:42:07
Brad Singletary
Carrying $1,000 cash in your pocket, all this your whole your whole life since you were a young, younger man.

00:15:42:07 – 00:15:43:13
Donald “Butch” Williams
Since 1987.

00:15:43:13 – 00:15:45:05
Brad Singletary
Oh my. You have it right now. You have.

00:15:45:05 – 00:15:49:15
Donald “Butch” Williams
Right now. Oh, that’s the coolest. Thing I’ve ever heard. I mean.

00:15:49:20 – 00:16:08:21
Brad Singletary
I can think there’s a lot of reasons for that. Like, I don’t know in the world of like, you know, alcohol, I’m in recovery from alcohol. And I would hear people say things like, you know, they want to just keep one beer in their refrigerator just to prove that they don’t need it. It’s there, but they don’t they don’t need it.

00:16:08:21 – 00:16:17:13
Brad Singletary
They’re kind of flooding themselves with some exposure. And so you got money and you could spend it, you could blow it, but you’re you’re just hanging on to it. That’s kind of cool.

00:16:17:13 – 00:16:32:03
Donald “Butch” Williams
That’s why I can spend it. And if I spend it as soon as like the users, they have just a little bit more. But when I get, you know, so there’s a little fluff there. So if I can somebody needs something, I can buy it right? Or get out of a tight situation or however you want to say it, all of that.

00:16:32:04 – 00:16:35:04
Donald “Butch” Williams
But at the end of the day, there better be a thousand.

00:16:35:21 – 00:16:36:23
Donald “Butch” Williams
So I can say no.

00:16:37:05 – 00:16:42:03
Brad Singletary
I need I’m going to I’m going to steal that trick. No, I got to tell my wife, when I get on the air, open up the safe for me.

00:16:42:03 – 00:16:54:18
Donald “Butch” Williams
We got to get 1000. Just keep it on Venmo. I don’t know how to use Venmo, but my wife sure does. So she knows how to talk to that Amazon guide to ensure comes around a lot. It’s guy I.

00:16:54:18 – 00:16:58:18
Brad Singletary
Thought my wife for a while was having had something going with the UPS driver, you know, like.

00:16:59:07 – 00:17:00:26
Donald “Butch” Williams
All right, I hear you.

00:17:00:29 – 00:17:18:15
Brad Singletary
We didn’t welcome Jimmy Durban. I just want to he’s been on the show before. You guys know him and but he is also another stellar guy. He just wanted to be here tonight. Drove up in a pretty special looking Harley Davidson that was pretty sick man. That was impressive. What do you what are you driving out there?

00:17:19:11 – 00:17:28:10
Jimmy Durbin
It’s a Harley Roadster. Oh, 2019. And it’s full disclosure. And being transparent, it actually belongs to my middle son.

00:17:28:24 – 00:17:31:15
Donald “Butch” Williams
So I can’t take credit for that.

00:17:31:17 – 00:17:35:19
Jimmy Durbin
Mine’s in 94 heritage soft tail OK or of a cruiser bike.

00:17:35:19 – 00:17:37:17
Brad Singletary
You told me how to get somewhere quick and so you.

00:17:37:22 – 00:17:39:15
Jimmy Durbin
Yeah I had to get here fast keep it.

00:17:39:15 – 00:17:40:06
Brad Singletary
Warm for you.

00:17:40:25 – 00:18:08:16
Jimmy Durbin
I think also just to kind of give the audience a feeling when I when I came in and met Butch you could feel the love I could feel the love speak for myself kind face um sharply dressed and then when you read the intro birthday’s February 2nd mine’s a third oh. Very well meant to you and Elvis as well.

00:18:08:16 – 00:18:37:28
Jimmy Durbin
Right. And so I, I’ve appreciated what you said because I think that’s how men can help men is these little nuggets, these things that there’s this wisdom that you gained along your own path and the things that stuck. And so I really appreciated you sharing those two things because that’s that’s what I want to learn from you. Right?

00:18:37:28 – 00:19:13:01
Jimmy Durbin
Is how have you continued to keep your heart upfront? Right. Oftentimes you talk about having a a soft front and a hard back. No concept from Bernie Brown of being vulnerable as a man, being tender, authentic, transparent, and also having a hard back and being a protector and a leader and a fighter and a mentor for these young men that you talked about, for these young lawyers that you talked about, for your family and your your son in law’s.

00:19:13:01 – 00:19:24:19
Jimmy Durbin
And so what else would you say to your younger self as you gain this wisdom now sitting as a 56 year old man in this chair.

00:19:25:04 – 00:19:51:10
Donald “Butch” Williams
You know, I went through something in 1995 that I haven’t shared with a lot of people, but I was just out of law school starting salary was $36,000 a year, wasn’t necessarily horrible in 1995, but I had $65,000 with a student debt. Wow. And I had three children and my marriage fell apart and so I ended up living with my parents.

00:19:53:01 – 00:20:20:22
Donald “Butch” Williams
My wife’s trying to decide you know, is he going to come home? I’m trying to decide what I’m doing, where I’m going. And I remember just laying up at my parents one night staring at the ceiling thinking to myself, I don’t know where I’m going. I just am so discouraged, so down. And this old guy knocks on my door and he happened to be my LDS bishop.

00:20:22:19 – 00:20:38:27
Donald “Butch” Williams
And he said, May I speak with you for a few minutes? I said, Yeah. I mean, I couldn’t say no. He’s a nice guy. Even though I had anger in my soul, I just couldn’t say no to him. And he came in and talked to him and he said, But what are your plans? I said, I don’t know.

00:20:38:27 – 00:21:04:24
Donald “Butch” Williams
I guess I guess I’ll get divorced and figure out what to do from here. He said, I guess that’s a plan. He said, How about the plan of going home and learning to love your wife and have her learn to love you? And I said, I don’t know how that’s possible, but he left that evening and it again, it just stuck in my mind.

00:21:04:24 – 00:21:43:06
Donald “Butch” Williams
So I, I went home and this, this little bishop, about six foot six tall, he would walk over to my house every night after and he had 11 children on a school teacher salary. So big time hero right away he would walk to my house every night and he would just walk the neighborhood with me every night. And he would talk to me from everything about physical intimacy with my wife and how I could improve that to emotional intimacy, to dating, to communication.

00:21:43:17 – 00:22:00:22
Donald “Butch” Williams
The things that I guess I just never learned at home. And I guess why would I have learned them? I mean, my parents had a great relationship, but we didn’t talk about these things. And, you know, my wife and I we always just we always talk about the first five years of our marriage being. We don’t talk about that.

00:22:01:16 – 00:22:20:28
Donald “Butch” Williams
And then we talk about from 1995 on and it’s just been the most magnificent marriage. I mean it’s really, it has been but again what I garnered from that was this concept of one on one time.

00:22:21:28 – 00:22:23:09
Donald “Butch” Williams
Well, you know.

00:22:23:18 – 00:22:36:18
Donald “Butch” Williams
He gave me his precious resource of time and so I try to do the same. I, you know, I’m not great at it, but if I see a need, I recognize just a simple text message, probably not enough.

00:22:37:21 – 00:22:54:17
Brad Singletary
You know, he was kind of in this automatic role of mentorship or stewardship with you. But in. So did he push for that contact, you know, or were you, you know, asking him to, hey, come take a walk or you said he just would show up? Yeah. I mean, that’s cool. So I think every man needs a mentor.

00:22:54:17 – 00:23:31:11
Brad Singletary
Every man needs a bigger tribe of, you know, six, eight, whatever number of people. But to have one person at a critical time in your life care for you. He’s busy. He’s got 11 kids at home and he’s leading the congregation and he’s got you that he’s kind of singled out as someone that’s worthy of his time evening, you know, this special time to come and walk and talk with you that is that’s one of the coolest images that have ever been, you know, painted on this show to me is you walking with a man who’s talking about all of the deep things, all of the things that maybe you wouldn’t want to talk about

00:23:31:11 – 00:23:43:08
Brad Singletary
with anyone else. You made it comfortable somehow. You made it comfortable to do that. What what was it about him that made you feel like you could comfortably talk about those personal subjects?

00:23:43:15 – 00:24:11:08
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah, I think just his warmth. I mean, I just felt like I was walking with God in some respects. Right. I knew that he was a confidant. I knew he had wisdom. I mean, even as a I was 28 years old, so still pretty young. Right. But I could just see, you know, just his love for me and I then fast forward what, 20 years?

00:24:11:08 – 00:24:38:15
Donald “Butch” Williams
And he called me to be a bishop in the LDS Church, last thing I ever expected. But the concepts that he taught me I was able to put into play as people would come to me with marital issues and other issues. And I thought, man, God, I mean I that was a really painful process. In 1995 I got to know God better, I got to know my wife better, I got to know this bishop better.

00:24:39:10 – 00:25:03:19
Donald “Butch” Williams
But then as I fast forward, I think to myself and God, God could see these things play out. You know, he could see in the future that if I listen to this guy, good things would probably happen in my life, you know, if I didn’t, if I went out on my own and did my own thing, then I might pay a different price and have a harder time having a relationship with God, at least for a season.

00:25:03:27 – 00:25:06:14
Donald “Butch” Williams
So it was a painful process, but it was wonderful.

00:25:08:06 – 00:25:45:20
Jimmy Durbin
Brad just put out an episode about reframing and in his thoughts just from a very raw, beautiful authentic place of the Alpha Quorum and what that is and what type of man in his heart that is and how it should project in the world so I appreciate you relating that story because I oftentimes think, as you just indicated, we really don’t talk about before 1995, 1996, right.

00:25:45:20 – 00:26:26:04
Jimmy Durbin
We, we get this idea that well we’ve had this pain and it’s healed and so it’s behind us. But in the end as a result of that we kind of create a silo and those individual silos that happen to us as men, then we don’t allow the healing process and the learning process and the grace that happens. And so would you mind just sharing like what the struggle was like, what, how did you get to that mental place, emotional place, spiritual place like because I’m sure I can relate to it.

00:26:26:04 – 00:26:44:17
Jimmy Durbin
I, I’ve been to that place. There might be someone listening who’s there and I kind of believe that we’re all we’ve either gone through, we’re going through, or we will yet go through that place that you were back in. So do you mind sharing that?

00:26:44:21 – 00:27:13:21
Donald “Butch” Williams
No, not at all. One of the things that he asked me to do was go to the church and listen to a talk from a guy named Jeffrey Ah, Holland that was coming to town. Well, I had so much anger and frustration in my life at that time. I think just being poor for so long, going through law school, I mean, when my wife and I were in law school, I had $1,000 a month scholarship or rent was 550 a month.

00:27:14:20 – 00:27:27:26
Donald “Butch” Williams
We paid our tithing. So now we’re down to 900 a month and we never went on welfare. Well, you know, you live that way for a number of years of just, you know, impoverished, if you.

00:27:27:26 – 00:27:28:15
Donald “Butch” Williams
Were making.

00:27:28:15 – 00:27:28:20
Brad Singletary
It.

00:27:28:20 – 00:27:49:00
Donald “Butch” Williams
Barely by me, you know, and we always made it you know, by the grace of God, we always made it. But, you know, there’s frustrations and I’m spending, you know, 12 and 14 hours a day studying and there’s little kids at the house and all those things are, you know, they’re just going to lead to a tough situation if one doesn’t get it squared up.

00:27:49:20 – 00:28:03:10
Donald “Butch” Williams
And I didn’t, I didn’t have it squared up. I felt my job was to work and get through law school and make money as fast as I could. So I took that same attitude into the profession that first, and then I got humbled.

00:28:05:05 – 00:28:06:14
Donald “Butch” Williams
Right. But anyways.

00:28:06:14 – 00:28:24:01
Donald “Butch” Williams
Jeffrey Holland was coming to town and this old guy, Roy Ford, says just come with me, just come with me. I said, I don’t want to go. But again, I didn’t want to say no to him right there. I just loved him. You love somebody. You don’t want to say no. So I remember I remember sitting in the back of the building that night.

00:28:24:01 – 00:28:46:17
Donald “Butch” Williams
And Jeff, our Jeffrey, our Holland stands up at the pulpit. And this is what he says. I’ll never forget it. He says, If any of you are feeling dark tonight like there’s no light and that you might never feel light again, I just want you to do one thing for me tonight. Well, soon as he started down that path, you could imagine my right eye open to what?

00:28:46:17 – 00:29:17:04
Donald “Butch” Williams
All my left eye open to and then his counsel was so simple, but I’ve used it many times in life. He said, Just hold on, just hold on. The light will return. And it did then, and it has numerous times since. So that’s my encouragement to people. When you’re in a dark spot, try to just hold on. You’ll notice that God will put certain people in your life at that time.

00:29:18:07 – 00:29:25:07
Donald “Butch” Williams
Even if they’re uncomfortable to you a little bit. They might be those those angels that.

00:29:25:27 – 00:29:27:10
Jimmy Durbin
Especially if they’re uncomfortable.

00:29:27:10 – 00:29:34:08
Donald “Butch” Williams
To express you. Yes, especially if they are. So, you know. Yeah.

00:29:35:25 – 00:29:56:22
Brad Singletary
You said something earlier about what the guy said to you when you were in. He said, you know, what is your plan? He said, What about the plan to go and learn to love your wife? And that’s an interesting thought about learning to love, because I guess maybe when we’re younger, we just think, you know, you either love someone or you don’t.

00:29:56:22 – 00:30:17:28
Brad Singletary
And but this is like you have to learn how to love. What did that mean to you back then and what were the kinds of things you needed to learn? Like you you obviously were interested in her. You married her. You have a family. You know, you’re she’s a beautiful to this day, a beautiful woman. I mean, but you had to learn how to love what does that mean?

00:30:19:22 – 00:30:48:13
Donald “Butch” Williams
That’s a great question. And maybe a little more background would be helpful. So I met my wife when when I was at BYU, we fell in love immediately was just instant infatuation. And so we got engaged two weeks later and married three months later. Now, it’s public knowledge now, but it but it wasn’t for years. But my wife had had a child when she was in her senior year of high school.

00:30:49:04 – 00:31:12:13
Donald “Butch” Williams
And this was a by the way, she told me about it immediately when we got we’re starting to get serious and of course, as a young guy, I’m like, oh, no problem. Well, she had given the child up for adoption. And back then, adoptions were were very private. Right. So I guess I always felt this little bit of maybe jealousy.

00:31:12:13 – 00:31:40:13
Donald “Butch” Williams
Maybe maybe she didn’t love me as much as she loved her boyfriend. Who she had the child with. So, you know, just inadequacies on my part. Right. And being vulnerable is the right word. But I should add that for many, many years, until we were able to by the grace of God, three years ago, we were able to make contact with this.

00:31:40:17 – 00:31:40:29
Donald “Butch” Williams
Wow.

00:31:41:09 – 00:31:41:17
Donald “Butch” Williams
And.

00:31:42:01 – 00:32:13:08
Donald “Butch” Williams
Oh, he’s just wonderful. It’s everything we ever dreamed of. That’s maybe a story for another day. But anyways, so I just always felt like, you know, kind of second fiddle just, you know, and I realized one thing this bishop did is he said, you know, the first thing we’re going to do is we’re going to fly that guy down from Oregon because he and Paula, your wife, they never had really a chance to to separate.

00:32:14:03 – 00:32:33:01
Donald “Butch” Williams
And then, by the way, there was nothing going on with Paula and her ex boyfriend for for all those years were married, nothing like that at all. But my bishop could tell that there was something holding me and Paula from progressing and one of the it was just a really out of the box thinking, right? Yeah.

00:32:33:03 – 00:32:33:28
Donald “Butch” Williams
We’re going to we’re going to.

00:32:33:28 – 00:32:42:01
Donald “Butch” Williams
Fly down her ex-boyfriend so they can walk up and down the strip and say goodbye to each other because they never got a chance to years ago because Paula’s parents.

00:32:42:01 – 00:32:46:27
Donald “Butch” Williams
Broke them up. Wow. What a risky move. Yeah. I’m like the heck you are.

00:32:49:11 – 00:32:51:12
Donald “Butch” Williams
And he did it. He did it, OK.

00:32:51:20 – 00:33:21:00
Donald “Butch” Williams
And it was wonderful because for some reason, it released my heart and and I was able to say, yeah, she she does love me and everything’s OK. And this guy had gone on and married and has a wonderful family and like I said, just a few years ago, by the grace of God in that app, 24 in me, we were able to finally, after all these years, find this this child and man just awesome.

00:33:21:00 – 00:33:21:12
Donald “Butch” Williams
Wow.

00:33:21:12 – 00:33:22:15
Brad Singletary
That’s super awesome.

00:33:23:26 – 00:33:50:12
Jimmy Durbin
So when Brad asked that question, the way I heard it, the way I heard him ask, that is I choose who I love. And I heard that in your story. And then I love my choice. Right. And so how else in your years of marriage with your sweetheart and under what circumstances and situations have you had to learn to continue to love your choice?

00:33:50:21 – 00:33:52:01
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah, it’s great.

00:33:54:01 – 00:34:10:15
Donald “Butch” Williams
One thing my mom said to my wife and I often in our first number of years of marriage is you’re not dating. You got to keep dating. You got to get out of town a couple of days. I’ll watch the kids. But again, in my stubborn self, you know, I just need to work. I need.

00:34:10:20 – 00:34:11:22
Donald “Butch” Williams
To. Right.

00:34:12:23 – 00:34:38:06
Donald “Butch” Williams
Well, you know, after 1995, I took that counsel and so we began to date every Friday night. We don’t miss now I was on a campout or something. We’d go out Saturday night. We then began to take a trip once a year, twice a year for a week away from the kids. But the most important thing, getting back to that old bishop, he said every day do an act of kindness for her every day.

00:34:39:06 – 00:34:46:07
Donald “Butch” Williams
And he said the same thing to her every day, every day, every day. He said every day. So you know how many candy.

00:34:46:07 – 00:34:50:26
Donald “Butch” Williams
Bars I’ve woken up over the years? She still thinks my greatest joy in life.

00:34:50:26 – 00:34:54:02
Donald “Butch” Williams
Is a is a Hershey’s it’s not Hershey’s a CS.

00:34:54:07 – 00:34:55:24
Donald “Butch” Williams
Sucker. It is a.

00:34:55:24 – 00:34:57:03
Donald “Butch” Williams
Second greatest joy life.

00:34:57:03 – 00:35:03:04
Donald “Butch” Williams
But so I found a lot of those. In the meantime, I’m I watched a lot of dishes.

00:35:03:04 – 00:35:12:12
Donald “Butch” Williams
And, you know, just, hey, I’m going to the kitchen. I’m just you want water? Do you want anything? You know, common sense things, right? We love those. We serve. We we know the contents.

00:35:12:12 – 00:35:13:00
Jimmy Durbin
Of little things.

00:35:13:00 – 00:35:18:01
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah, but but if we’re not serving someone, we it’s really difficult to love them.

00:35:19:01 – 00:35:42:17
Brad Singletary
I notice you’ve done that so much. I don’t. I don’t. I don’t know if it’s a good place to transition, but you’ve done a lot of service throughout your life. So you talked about the charity thing in the beginning. You know, sharing that with young attorneys. You know, if you’re if you’re not paying anything to charity, you may not be ready to start your own practice that represents an attitude of giving and sacrifice.

00:35:42:28 – 00:36:01:29
Brad Singletary
Talk about some of the other things you’ve done. You mentioned camping trip. Was that like scouting type stuff? You’ve done some you’ve done some volunteer teaching. You’ve done the most recently. I think I’ve seen you do a stuff at a like a homeless shelter maybe, or talk about some service opportunities that you’ve taken advantage of.

00:36:02:10 – 00:36:22:09
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah, I’m pretty involved with the Las Vegas rescue mission. You know, I didn’t know anything about the Las Vegas rescue mission. And here I was serving as a bishop in the LDS Church, and somebody called me one day and said, Hey, we’ve got this 18 year old boy here from Colorado. Can you meet with him? Yeah, try to help.

00:36:22:22 – 00:36:43:04
Donald “Butch” Williams
I meet with him and I realize I don’t know what to do. With this boy. You, the way nice kid moved in from Colorado was was not LDS. He just showed up to Vegas wanted to start a new life. So I called my wife. That’s always a good place to start, honey. I got this kid in my office.

00:36:43:04 – 00:36:51:24
Donald “Butch” Williams
I don’t know what to do with him. I mean, what am I going to do? Give him a food order or something? I can’t move them into our house because we’ve got daughters at home still. And she said.

00:36:51:24 – 00:36:52:16
Donald “Butch” Williams
We’ll call.

00:36:53:00 – 00:37:15:15
Donald “Butch” Williams
Heather Gibbons. I said, Oh, I know Heather Gibbons. So I called Heather. And Heather just is well connected in Las Vegas as far as just knowing where the charities are, knowing what resources are available. I said, Heather, can you come see me? She shot right over to my office. She said, OK, but here’s what you do. You take this boy to the Las Vegas rescue mission.

00:37:15:27 – 00:37:39:08
Donald “Butch” Williams
They will put him up for a couple of weeks, no questions asked. They’ll feed him. And during the day, he’s got to leave the premises, go out, try to get a job. Come back at night. I said, Well, I don’t know much about this place, but I like this a lot. So I started to learn about it. And, you know, every night at 5:00 as you may know, they they open their doors and they’ll give anybody a meal, no question asked.

00:37:40:23 – 00:38:15:13
Donald “Butch” Williams
I love that. But I tell you what I love more is that they want to help people with addiction. And somehow, some way, they hope that out of the four and 500 people that they feed one meal a day or two, that a few may come forward and say, I don’t want to fight the addiction anymore. And the first thing they ask for unless something is changed, which I don’t think it has, is they’ll take you in for long term addiction, recovery but you got to give them your phone number.

00:38:16:10 – 00:38:38:01
Donald “Butch” Williams
You got to get rid of your sources. And if you’re not ready to give up the phone, you’re not ready to get help yet. I just fell in love with the organization, so I began to contribute more resources and time to do that organization. There’s many more out there. You know, it’s finding a charitable organization that you connect with shouldn’t be too.

00:38:38:01 – 00:38:39:12
Donald “Butch” Williams
Difficult for most of us.

00:38:39:12 – 00:38:48:29
Brad Singletary
So why do you do it? I mean, why you’re busy. You’ve got a law practice, you’ve got five children and grandchildren. You got, I’m guessing, what, season tickets to the Golden Knights?

00:38:48:29 – 00:38:57:06
Donald “Butch” Williams
I do I mean, there’s a lot of stuff going on that’s part of that. A motorcycle Corvette. You got to got wife. You got everything.

00:38:57:13 – 00:39:03:05
Brad Singletary
Like, what makes you want to go to the Las Vegas rescue or whatever places to serve? What makes you do that?

00:39:04:07 – 00:39:29:06
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah, I guess I’ve never thought about it that much. It’s just maybe it’s innate, maybe it’s natural. Or maybe it’s because, I mean, how many people have just stepped out over the years and either lended me a hand or I remember one time we were driving back from Sacramento excuse me, from Las Vegas to Sacramento. The year was 1993.

00:39:30:17 – 00:39:55:23
Donald “Butch” Williams
So picture this. I got my wife, I’ve got two kids in the back in this rag down old Hyundai, and we’re heading up to 95 to go through Reno on Memorial Day to get back to Sacramento, to go to law school. And I break down in the sweltering heat this was before cell phones. I look at Paula and I said, what do we do now?

00:39:56:04 – 00:40:24:06
Donald “Butch” Williams
Pray. Well, we’ll pray. So we prayed right then this guy pulls up behind me and he’s an older fella. So I got out of the car and I met him and he said it looks like you got a problem. I said, I do, I, I blew the timing belt. He said, and I said, why did you stop? He said, I was in my home up in Yerington, Nevada, up the road a number of miles.

00:40:24:24 – 00:40:31:19
Donald “Butch” Williams
And I looked to my wife and I said, hey, we need to go. We need to go right now. She’s like, Where are we going? He says, I don’t know, but we’re going somewhere.

00:40:33:27 – 00:40:50:16
Donald “Butch” Williams
And anyways, to make a long story short, we piled my wife, myself, and those two kids into their car. You know, they could have just taken this to Reno and dumped us at a hotel for the evening, but they didn’t do that. They took us all the way to Sacramento that night.

00:40:50:26 – 00:40:51:09
Donald “Butch” Williams
Wow.

00:40:52:07 – 00:41:11:08
Donald “Butch” Williams
And so you know, when you have people over the years that reach out to you and just help a little bit, it’s just not hard to give back, right? I feel like I hold my. All right. I owe my whole life try in some way to give back for all the blessings I have. I mean, I just I’ve just been blessed.

00:41:11:22 – 00:41:11:29
Donald “Butch” Williams
I mean.

00:41:12:07 – 00:41:45:21
Brad Singletary
That’s why you’re here when I say, you know what? What makes you do it? You said I didn’t even think of it. I mean, you’re sacrificing. I know that you’re donating. You know, money, time, resources, every, you know, volunteering over there. And I’ve also seen you re try to recruit people. So we’re friends on Facebook. And I’ve seen this, so, hey, they need, you know, we need an extra server or two tonight, you know, like you’re arranging these things and you’re not only going there for yourself, but you’re bringing some folks along with you, like that kind of leadership toward something so selfless.

00:41:45:21 – 00:41:50:05
Brad Singletary
I mean, that’s just, you know, coolest kind of man. Yeah.

00:41:50:20 – 00:42:12:27
Donald “Butch” Williams
Well, I like I really like somebody’ll tell me, hey, listen, I’m having problems with my teenage kid. He’s just he or she’s just they’re becoming abstinent or they’re just they’re becoming secluded and they don’t want to help anybody. And they’re back talking. I said, all right, I’ll pick you up at 345. You and the kid so I’ll bring him in the kid to the shelter.

00:42:13:12 – 00:42:29:23
Donald “Butch” Williams
And after a night at the shelter, that kid those eyes are opened up a little bit about about real life. So I think that’s a nice way kind of to give back to you, I guess. Not that I’m, you know, I’m just trying to help a kid. Yeah. Who? Right.

00:42:30:08 – 00:42:39:04
Brad Singletary
Some perspective. He gets to serve. He gets to contribute, but he also takes away something from that, too. Absolutely. And I’m sure you do, too. I’m sure there’s some.

00:42:39:10 – 00:42:40:00
Donald “Butch” Williams
Every time.

00:42:40:07 – 00:42:52:10
Brad Singletary
No gratitude and just some. And I can just picture you’re you’re sitting there, you know, with a prayer in your heart for these people. And, you know, you’re you’re trying to extend love and positive energy while you’re there.

00:42:52:20 – 00:43:13:14
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah. Can you imagine just one person out of the 500 saying, tonight, I’m going to start over and all of a sudden they go through their the program over there and then they go get educated or get into a profession. And ten years down the road, they’re taking people to the rescue mission to get help. Right. That’s the that’s the payback, right?

00:43:13:14 – 00:43:14:09
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah. Pay it forward.

00:43:14:09 – 00:43:15:10
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah. You pay for it.

00:43:15:11 – 00:43:15:23
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yes.

00:43:16:02 – 00:43:36:28
Brad Singletary
So how did you learn to be a man? You’ve got all these great qualities. I just I really think that there are some men out there and you you guys seem you who are listening. You know what I’m talking about? You just see people in every aspect of their life just seems seriously good. No one’s perfect, but you can just tell that they are bringing a lot to the table.

00:43:36:28 – 00:43:39:28
Brad Singletary
And I think you do that. But who taught you how to be a man?

00:43:40:28 – 00:43:44:17
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah, I don’t know. I think I’m still learning. That’s why they always had me work.

00:43:44:17 – 00:43:46:01
Donald “Butch” Williams
With the youth, because I’m still a kid.

00:43:46:01 – 00:43:48:17
Donald “Butch” Williams
My wife tells me I’m a kid. I don’t really understand it.

00:43:48:22 – 00:43:49:22
Donald “Butch” Williams
She said she raised.

00:43:50:01 – 00:43:51:11
Donald “Butch” Williams
Seven kids, but I’m only.

00:43:51:11 – 00:43:52:08
Donald “Butch” Williams
Counting six.

00:43:53:04 – 00:44:02:26
Donald “Butch” Williams
So I don’t know. You know, I really do still feel like I’m learning. I do. I mean, I was listening to a grade. I like Joel Osteen. Oh, yeah. People don’t, you know.

00:44:02:26 – 00:44:05:10
Donald “Butch” Williams
But I like him a lot. I like him, man. You know.

00:44:05:10 – 00:44:33:07
Donald “Butch” Williams
He’s positive and just I was just listening to one of his talks the other day about learning like I never get too old that learn. So he went on for 35 minutes about things we can do to learn you know, he said that every year most people spend 300 hours in an automobile. He said, do you realize in 300 hours how much you can learn if you listen to it, talk or listen to something to.

00:44:33:07 – 00:44:34:21
Brad Singletary
Make your video book or something.

00:44:34:21 – 00:44:35:24
Donald “Butch” Williams
To teach us if you’re.

00:44:35:24 – 00:44:53:15
Donald “Butch” Williams
Into sales, how to become a better salesperson and if you’re a lawyer, how to be a writer, you can go on and on, you know, if you’re working in the church as a pastor or whatever. But the concept was, don’t ever quit learning. And so I think I’m still working on this being a man thing. I still like a little bit of risk.

00:44:53:15 – 00:45:15:12
Donald “Butch” Williams
I still like a joke a lot. Sometimes it go over well, sometimes I don’t. But I think it started out with my dad. You know, my dad, he was he’s a big time hero to me. He was raised here in Las Vegas in I guess he was born in 1937 and so other four or 5000 people in Las Vegas then.

00:45:16:08 – 00:45:35:19
Donald “Butch” Williams
And he comes from a pretty troubled background. He was in and out of facilities and he fell in love with my mom when he’s about 14 or 15 years old. But my mom came from a good background and my grandpa had enough of my dad. So my grandpa had the sheriff take my dad on the edge of Las Vegas and say don’t come back.

00:45:36:10 – 00:45:37:25
Donald “Butch” Williams
So my dad.

00:45:38:02 – 00:46:00:06
Donald “Butch” Williams
So my dad ends up working in orange farms in Visalia, California, and then he went to San Francisco. In the meantime, my mom had been married, had a child, and my dad got word that she was going through a divorce. So he hauled back to Vegas and he saw her at one of these like little happy days diners in the fifties.

00:46:00:06 – 00:46:23:12
Donald “Butch” Williams
Right. And he her nickname was Shorty. He said, Shorty, you know, we’ve been apart a long time. Don’t you think we should just get married now? And she said, yes. And he became a man. He became a man. And I never saw my parents fight. They never made much money, but they always worked together. They did everything together.

00:46:23:21 – 00:46:41:06
Donald “Butch” Williams
They were just buddies. And, you know, some of his techniques were kind of fun. Like he told us one time, us boys, I don’t think I’m going to ask you again to make your beds he never got angry. Well, we didn’t make our bed. The next day, our beds were on top. The roof.

00:46:42:18 – 00:46:42:29
Donald “Butch” Williams
There was all.

00:46:42:29 – 00:46:46:09
Donald “Butch” Williams
Kinds of things on top there. If I’m 56 St.Louis bicycle.

00:46:46:09 – 00:46:54:19
Donald “Butch” Williams
Parts shoes, it didn’t get put away. A bed sits on the roof, but he never got angry.

00:46:55:14 – 00:47:07:24
Donald “Butch” Williams
He anger was not in his makeup, so he would discipline, but never with anger. Oh, my gosh. That sounds like Christ to me. I’m a teacher better way, but I’m not going to get angry. Angry about it.

00:47:08:27 – 00:47:12:16
Donald “Butch” Williams
I love that. Yeah, I’m going to try that. Yeah. No.

00:47:13:22 – 00:47:16:27
Brad Singletary
I’ll have the h.o.h. Getting after me. Like, what is all that stuff.

00:47:16:27 – 00:47:24:15
Donald “Butch” Williams
On your roof? Well, they got tile roofs now, and so i’m not sure how that would go. We had our rocks on our roof. What makes.

00:47:24:15 – 00:47:25:28
Jimmy Durbin
You think it won’t be your stuff on the.

00:47:26:04 – 00:47:26:18
Donald “Butch” Williams
Shelf?

00:47:28:24 – 00:47:32:08
Donald “Butch” Williams
I’d be careful with that one. Right. There might be.

00:47:32:24 – 00:47:51:08
Brad Singletary
So your dad was a great example of that. You said he became a man. That’s a process. That’s a like, you know, that’s it’s not just we don’t age into it. Something has to happen to us. I think. I mean, so what what did you what else did you see from him or other men in your life that demonstrated how you become a man?

00:47:52:01 – 00:47:52:19
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah, I think a.

00:47:52:19 – 00:48:13:08
Donald “Butch” Williams
Lot of hard work and that was one thing is that he he had a tremendous work ethic and and, you know, that concept of like, attract like. Right. It’s just it’s a beautiful, eternal concept. Usually you’re going to attract people that are like you in some ways. Otherwise you just you just bounce off each other, right? And so I got to watch his friends too.

00:48:13:08 – 00:48:41:25
Donald “Butch” Williams
And all of them were just young, trying different businesses, you know, staying out of trouble. My mom and dad both knew they were alcoholics and one day my dad missed work. So he was very functional. But one day he missed work and he never drank again. That was it. And I thought to myself, here’s a guy that comes from nothing that has every excuse in the world because he was abused as a kid.

00:48:41:25 – 00:49:07:20
Donald “Butch” Williams
All these things to not be a man. And he decided he’s going to be a man. He’s going to be a good husband and a good father, and he’s going to work hard and be loyal. And he was all of those things he never had to say. And I watched it right. You know, when we’d go work at the track as a nine year old and an eight year old kid on a Saturday morning, pulling out of bed at four in the morning to get in the back of the truck, to ride.

00:49:07:28 – 00:49:08:23
Donald “Butch” Williams
To to go.

00:49:08:23 – 00:49:17:29
Donald “Butch” Williams
Under the Charleston underpass and on to the I-15, out to Craig Road in the back of the truck. When it’s cold in the winter and hot in the summer. He didn’t have to say anything. It’s just we’re.

00:49:17:29 – 00:49:20:17
Donald “Butch” Williams
Going to work. Let’s go. Right.

00:49:21:05 – 00:49:45:27
Donald “Butch” Williams
So I’m just blessed. Blessed to have people like that in my life all the way through. My first my first boss coming out of law school, a guy named Norm Kurtzman. Wonderful. Wonderful man, fought in World War Two. He was a boxer he was so ethical. And I remember asking him one day, hey, how many billable hours do you want from me?

00:49:46:03 – 00:49:46:12
Donald “Butch” Williams
Right.

00:49:46:12 – 00:49:49:06
Donald “Butch” Williams
Lawyers, billable hours. Well, he was a little bit.

00:49:49:06 – 00:49:54:24
Donald “Butch” Williams
Cross-Eyed and he was cantankerous. And so he’s kind of looking at me, but he’s looking over there.

00:49:54:24 – 00:50:00:26
Donald “Butch” Williams
You know, we’ve had these conversations before right I was scared of him. He says.

00:50:00:26 – 00:50:20:07
Donald “Butch” Williams
Don’t you ever talk to me about billable hours. One day in my life. You give me your hours every week. And then I’m going to give the client the fair hours. Clients are not paying for your education. So you go on and you work and you learn to do the product right incorrectly. Don’t you worry about billable hours.

00:50:21:04 – 00:50:33:21
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yes, sir. Well, again, that concept concept sunk in and so when I hired my son in law and we had the same conversation about how many billable hours a week, because that’s what.

00:50:33:21 – 00:50:35:03
Donald “Butch” Williams
The law firms are telling the.

00:50:35:21 – 00:50:37:04
Donald “Butch” Williams
Well, yeah, I said, don’t.

00:50:37:04 – 00:50:49:16
Donald “Butch” Williams
You ever talk to me about those billable hours. You give your hours to me. And then I would look at the hours. Why did it take so many hours to do that project? I’m dying over here. But after a.

00:50:49:16 – 00:50:57:22
Donald “Butch” Williams
Few years, they get efficient and then they can keep their billable hours and it doesn’t matter. Right. But what a pure concept. Yes. That’s also ethical, right? Yeah.

00:50:58:07 – 00:51:19:11
Jimmy Durbin
So it’s nice to see that that those things weren’t lost on you, that you have paid it forward. That it allows you to be the man that you are and have the heart that you have and and be transparent and share this vulnerable story about the struggle you had in 95 with your wife and that all those things added up.

00:51:20:25 – 00:51:23:25
Jimmy Durbin
So thank you for that. Appreciate it.

00:51:24:13 – 00:51:45:29
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah, no, it’s wonderful. But like I say, you asked the question, well, you know, becoming a man and and I answered it. I was kind of serious that I’m still becoming a man. So I got COVID in December of 20, 20. And it wasn’t the nice version about day 12. I said, I don’t know if I’m going to make it through this or not.

00:51:46:06 – 00:51:51:13
Donald “Butch” Williams
I never went to the hospital, but my oxygen kept getting closer to that 90. Right. That 90.

00:51:51:13 – 00:51:51:25
Donald “Butch” Williams
Mark.

00:51:52:20 – 00:52:10:25
Donald “Butch” Williams
And I was so miserable. Anyways, I did overcome it. And by the grace of God, I guess I got to stay on earth for a while. Longer, but a couple months after that, I began to have what you professionals refer to, and I didn’t know what they were then. Ruminating thoughts.

00:52:11:10 – 00:52:12:01
Brad Singletary
Rumination.

00:52:12:01 – 00:52:33:24
Donald “Butch” Williams
You’re you’re going to lose everything you everything you’ve worked for, you’re going to lose. You’re going to lose it. And they would not all of a sudden I was up all night sweating, heart palpitations. My wife has suffered from some anxiety and depression in her life. And one day I woke up again. This was only a year ago now and everything was dark.

00:52:34:16 – 00:52:49:26
Donald “Butch” Williams
For the first time in my life, I I’ve always been an optimist other than the 1995 heartache I’ve just been this optimist. You know, everything is going to be OK for everybody else, including myself. And then it hit me. Depression and anxiety.

00:52:50:05 – 00:52:50:27
Donald “Butch” Williams
Wow.

00:52:50:27 – 00:53:14:23
Donald “Butch” Williams
And so we got me into counseling and because she said, OK, that’s it, we’re done messing with it again. Power over. Good woman. We’re done with this. You’re going to be OK. But you have to you got to listen to me. I’ll listen to you, honey, because right now I feel so low. And she said, OK, so she got me into counseling, and that was helping and but it wasn’t enough.

00:53:15:17 – 00:53:38:29
Donald “Butch” Williams
And so finally she got me into a psychiatrist and they put me on Lexapro, and it took about two weeks. And all of a sudden, things started to clear up. And I was like, OK, my gosh, I feel OK. Again, this is I mean, I was just so grateful. So I been open about it. I have not.

00:53:38:29 – 00:53:39:28
Brad Singletary
That is great.

00:53:40:04 – 00:53:47:19
Donald “Butch” Williams
And just telling people this, you can turn this around. Sometimes we can’t, right? Sometimes.

00:53:47:19 – 00:53:59:01
Brad Singletary
Well, but so that’s good to know because I didn’t know that. But I think I might have known that you had COVID, but you were you were just been the epitome of energy. You’ve been one of those guys. I mean, you’re a runner right? You’re still running.

00:53:59:01 – 00:53:59:28
Donald “Butch” Williams
I am still running.

00:53:59:28 – 00:54:05:08
Brad Singletary
You’re a runner. I mean, you’ve done like marathons and. Right. You’ve done all that. You’re like a real runner.

00:54:06:05 – 00:54:12:28
Donald “Butch” Williams
I’m serious. Like, I’m like me and if I run, I’ve got to go to the bathroom, you know, if somebody is chasing me. Yes. Yes.

00:54:13:26 – 00:54:18:12
Brad Singletary
So you so health and energy and that kind of thing. But to talk about.

00:54:18:18 – 00:54:18:27
Donald “Butch” Williams
Total.

00:54:18:28 – 00:54:27:28
Brad Singletary
Crashing after this COVID thing, having some thoughts that maybe seem to be out of control, get help. Listen to your wife, start counseling and medication and. Yeah.

00:54:29:02 – 00:54:31:05
Donald “Butch” Williams
That’s why you’re here. Well, she told me, she.

00:54:31:05 – 00:54:42:23
Donald “Butch” Williams
Said, but you never do medication without counseling, ever. Well, how would I have known something like that? Other than that, she’d been down the path. I’m like, OK, I’m listening to you. I’m all ears.

00:54:42:23 – 00:54:58:20
Brad Singletary
Was there any was there any hesitation or I mean, were you it was just that bad that you would do anything bad? What about a year ago? What about in the past? Would you have been the type to I mean, I think it’s clearly that you’re pretty humble, but you also have you got a smart aleck in there.

00:54:58:20 – 00:55:13:28
Brad Singletary
You know, you’ve got you got some you got you have a rowdy sense about you, too, you know? So, like, did that ever have would you always have been OK with that or is there some old school part of you is like, I don’t need that you had to fight through.

00:55:14:14 – 00:55:47:20
Donald “Butch” Williams
You know, not at all. And I don’t say that with any false sense of humility, but it was so miserable. I always thought I understood kind of what depression was or anxiety was because I’ve read about it, lived with it, saw other family members with it, but I didn’t understand it until it hit and I wouldn’t wish it upon anybody except for the lessons learned blessings come from it.

00:55:47:28 – 00:56:14:06
Donald “Butch” Williams
And one of the blessings is through counseling. I learned, you know, how to meditate more, how to get myself more in the present. I mean, I just remember going to dinner and looking at my cell phone 25 times thinking there’s an important email that’s going to come or an important text message. And now I go to dinner and I put my phone to the side and I look at my wife’s hair or I say, I can stay totally in this conversation now without thinking of anything else.

00:56:14:06 – 00:56:37:24
Donald “Butch” Williams
But being sitting right here with two wonderful men in the city of Henderson, Nevada, with lights on and air conditioning blowing, counting my blessings and I could never do that before, even though I always felt like I was kind of a humble guy. I could never stay completely present and so I remember talking to the counselor a while back.

00:56:37:24 – 00:56:49:00
Donald “Butch” Williams
He said, What do you worry about? I said, I don’t ever want to feel like I felt a year ago any good counselor just like yourself, Brad. He said, But would you be open to it?

00:56:51:02 – 00:57:07:00
Donald “Butch” Williams
I said, I guess I would be, because right now I’m going to live in the moment. I’m going to live right now. I’m going to consider the lease of the field. I’m not going to take a purse or scrape with me anymore. Yes, I’ll save for the future. Yes, I’ll still plan for the, you know, the things that I can control.

00:57:09:17 – 00:57:10:23
Donald “Butch” Williams
But I’m going to live today.

00:57:11:26 – 00:57:23:22
Brad Singletary
That’s another one of those things that I’ve just been so impressed with, as I’ve kind of just watched you from a distance here the last few years. I mean, you see things like, you know, you’re dancing that at the hockey games.

00:57:24:15 – 00:57:25:13
Donald “Butch” Williams
Like a fool.

00:57:25:25 – 00:57:27:26
Brad Singletary
And when I say like a fool, I mean, there is.

00:57:27:26 – 00:57:30:10
Donald “Butch” Williams
Nothing foolish about it. That’s a man who’s alive.

00:57:30:28 – 00:57:34:29
Brad Singletary
You’re not afraid of what you look like. You don’t have much rhythm. Why are you kind of that’s pretty.

00:57:34:29 – 00:57:38:04
Donald “Butch” Williams
Good, you know, rhythm. But that’s not the point you’re feeling.

00:57:38:04 – 00:57:47:11
Brad Singletary
The music, you’re feeling the environment or or there’ll be these like, I forget what you call them, but these are little like, you know, donuts with the granddaughters day or whatever.

00:57:47:11 – 00:57:49:12
Donald “Butch” Williams
And that’s every Friday. Every Friday.

00:57:49:12 – 00:57:53:24
Brad Singletary
OK, so you got some little rituals where the grandkids come over for mourning or what happened?

00:57:53:24 – 00:57:58:16
Donald “Butch” Williams
No, no, no. I get up, I get my exercise in. I hit the donut shop and then I show up at their house.

00:57:58:17 – 00:57:59:16
Donald “Butch” Williams
You go to their house, I.

00:57:59:16 – 00:58:00:07
Donald “Butch” Williams
Go to their house.

00:58:00:23 – 00:58:01:18
Brad Singletary
Like, here’s some.

00:58:01:23 – 00:58:04:09
Donald “Butch” Williams
Here’s some big old fries. You go.

00:58:04:09 – 00:58:11:17
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah, that’s right. Yes. And then we we actually send donuts to the ones that live in California because we can’t be there. Right, all the time having delivered there.

00:58:11:17 – 00:58:14:27
Donald “Butch” Williams
So we haven’t delivered. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s a pretty.

00:58:14:27 – 00:58:18:04
Donald “Butch” Williams
Cheap way to say, Hey, Grandpa and Grandma, I was thinking about you, right?

00:58:18:20 – 00:58:20:18
Donald “Butch” Williams
I guess so. Yeah. No, we have a good time.

00:58:20:27 – 00:58:41:11
Donald “Butch” Williams
You know, I think ever since I was young, I think it was my dad, too, probably. But trying to make somebody smile, right? You know? I mean, it matters. Maybe that’s the only time they’re going to smile the whole day. Maybe for a week. It’s the only little bit of joy they’ve had. You just never know what is going on in somebody else’s life.

00:58:41:11 – 00:58:51:10
Donald “Butch” Williams
And so I think that’s kind of an innate gift. I really do. Right? You know, maybe sometimes it’s not a gift at all. Sometimes it goes too far. And I got to answer to the boss, if you know what I mean.

00:58:51:25 – 00:58:57:25
Donald “Butch” Williams
I’m not talking to God. I’m talking to the other boss. My eternal boss. So sometimes I go.

00:58:57:25 – 00:59:00:08
Donald “Butch” Williams
Too far and I kind of back it off a little.

00:59:00:21 – 00:59:05:12
Donald “Butch” Williams
Bit. But it’s OK. She’s she’s learned she’s had.

00:59:05:12 – 00:59:06:08
Brad Singletary
To learn how to love.

00:59:06:08 – 00:59:07:21
Donald “Butch” Williams
You, too. Oh, yeah.

00:59:08:08 – 00:59:09:07
Jimmy Durbin
Yeah. That part of you.

00:59:09:17 – 00:59:10:12
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah, right. Yeah.

00:59:10:12 – 00:59:52:18
Jimmy Durbin
Grab nice and talk about you know, today I call myself Jimmy but for 42 years prior to that, it was Jim. And then when I got into recovery realizing the individual, the part of me that crosses the line, that pushes it too far is my ego, is my pride, and it’s being driven because of maybe that my feeling or I’m feeling insecure insignificant or that I don’t matter, I did something wrong or I’m not in control.

00:59:53:23 – 01:00:13:20
Jimmy Durbin
And so I’m trying to my ego’s trying to make up. Jim’s trying to drive the car, so to speak. And I’m just curious as to what you’ve noticed, because I think that’s the other thing about being a man is being able to talk about our weaknesses, about being able to kind of own that piece of it so that we can then apologize, like you said.

01:00:13:20 – 01:00:32:00
Jimmy Durbin
And, and of course. Correct, right. In that part of awareness and being mindfulness. And so how does that show up in your life? How does that manifest when when that ego, when that pride kind of kicks in? And what’s your process for OK, being aware of that and then of course, correcting.

01:00:32:11 – 01:00:32:26
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah.

01:00:33:28 – 01:00:58:21
Donald “Butch” Williams
In in my business, right. A lawyer, there’s just so much of that and I’m guilty of it as the next person. But I think the man upstairs has been kind to me in that I usually know when I go too far. I remember I remember years ago I had a case with this guy and it was just getting more and more contentious, more and more contentious.

01:00:59:15 – 01:01:05:18
Donald “Butch” Williams
And finally I said something I shouldn’t have said. So he turned me into the Nevada State Bar.

01:01:05:18 – 01:01:07:02
Donald “Butch” Williams
And wrote a letter.

01:01:07:02 – 01:01:10:24
Donald “Butch” Williams
On me, said, Mr. Williams told me to go f myself.

01:01:13:07 – 01:01:21:13
Donald “Butch” Williams
So I made a call. I got a call from bar counsel. Is this puts Williams? Yes, sir. Now, when bar counsel calls you, you’re.

01:01:21:13 – 01:01:21:27
Donald “Butch” Williams
Shaking.

01:01:22:02 – 01:01:26:04
Donald “Butch” Williams
Right did you tell that lawyer to go F himself?

01:01:26:25 – 01:01:27:21
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yes, I did.

01:01:28:17 – 01:01:35:11
Donald “Butch” Williams
Can you not do that anymore? No, I won’t. And I’ve never done it again. But things have heated up over the years.

01:01:35:11 – 01:02:03:13
Donald “Butch” Williams
Another situation that I had with a lawyer that I just love and respect, but it just, you know, our clients are going at it so heavy. And so we start sometimes take upon ourselves the personality of our clients, and it just went too far. And so I just thought about it. After a contentious conversation, shut my door, got on my knees in my office, prayed to God that, you know, hey, listen, we’re only fighting about money here or something, right?

01:02:03:13 – 01:02:25:27
Donald “Butch” Williams
In the big scheme of things. And the impression was send him a cookie basket to his firm right now. So I asked Robin, my assistant, would you send a cookie basket over there? And that healed it just like that one cookie basket. And we were healed and we were fine. We’ve had probably 40 cases with our respective firms over the years, and they’ve all resolved, you know, in a friendly fashion.

01:02:25:29 – 01:02:46:05
Donald “Butch” Williams
So I think just like you said, we all all of us have egos and they’re going to come through sometimes. And if we just have certain rituals in our lives and things we can we can keep some humility, right? It’s not always going to happen, but we know when it’s gone too far. We know when the red flag comes up, right?

01:02:46:14 – 01:03:05:24
Jimmy Durbin
Yeah. And like, I appreciate that word, ritual finding a series of actions that I can take every day regardless of how I feel. And I to me, that plugs into why you do the service and why you pay for it and why you talk to these men. It’s just having this ritual to keep the ego in check.

01:03:06:14 – 01:03:35:24
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah. And everybody has their own way. I mean, I get up every morning and I’ll read scriptures for 20, 30 minutes and then I’ll exercise and then I’ll get going for the day. And if someone says, well you have to be up at 430 tomorrow, then I guess I get it. I’m getting a bit 3:00 because I’m concerned about ever changing that that, that thing, if you will, for lack of a better word, that I feel has carried me in life.

01:03:35:29 – 01:03:44:12
Donald “Butch” Williams
You know, academically I really, really struggled in high school I graduated deal with Las Vegas High School with a 2.2 GPA.

01:03:44:28 – 01:03:46:14
Donald “Butch” Williams
So I never thought this guy.

01:03:46:14 – 01:04:03:28
Donald “Butch” Williams
Was going to college. Right. It was I just, you know, I just couldn’t sit in a room without and focus on an academic things very well. And then I went on that mission well, when I was on that mission, they had this little prize you would get if you memorized a hundred scriptures.

01:04:04:15 – 01:04:06:09
Donald “Butch” Williams
Well, I really had to work hard at that.

01:04:06:25 – 01:04:20:23
Donald “Butch” Williams
But I did it took me six months or something, but I memorized every one of them. Well, again, you’re in your younger years, right? And you’re thinking maybe I could go to college but when I came home, by the grace of.

01:04:20:23 – 01:04:28:06
Donald “Butch” Williams
God, you and Elvie would let anybody and even me. It was a long time ago. It’s not that way anymore. I’m sure but they let me.

01:04:28:06 – 01:04:29:05
Brad Singletary
I’ve been a fan for.

01:04:29:05 – 01:04:31:10
Donald “Butch” Williams
Life ever since. Oh, you bet I am.

01:04:31:27 – 01:04:53:00
Donald “Butch” Williams
So I signed up for college again. Never thought. And none of my family member had ever got family members had ever gone to college that all of a sudden I said, Hey, listen, it’s taking you three and four times to understand complicated concepts when the guy next to you gets it. The first time I recognized that very early in my life.

01:04:54:05 – 01:05:15:28
Donald “Butch” Williams
So I said, you better learn persistence so I’ve made my mind up very early. You might beat me, you might beat me in the courtroom, you might beat me in a debate. But I’m going to work harder because I know I have to work two or three times harder than you to be able to stay with you in this arena.

01:05:16:21 – 01:05:32:18
Donald “Butch” Williams
And so I think, again, by the gift of God, you learn your weaknesses. If you if you ask them and if you spend some time at them and then you just work through them, just you know, if brains, natural brains is not your not your thing, well then persistence better be.

01:05:33:23 – 01:05:55:27
Brad Singletary
And that’s so great. You’re just the openness to like, OK, I may have this deficiency in some area, but I still want and deserve and believe that I can reach these other accomplishments. I just have to work harder. I mean, that is one of those traits that’s that’s some of the, you know, traditional masculinity that seems to be missing today is just, oh, OK.

01:05:56:04 – 01:06:15:01
Brad Singletary
Well, guess it means I need to work hard. I guess I need to push harder and I can do this. I just have to it’s going to require more from me and I love that you that you’re saying this right now. Like, OK, I, you know, didn’t even do well in high school. Now you’re an attorney, now you’re balling.

01:06:15:01 – 01:06:29:07
Brad Singletary
Now because of hard work and persistence and that discipline. So you’re talking about a little bit of a morning ritual. You have some you talked about reading scripture exercise. Is that running pretty much mostly or.

01:06:29:07 – 01:06:47:25
Donald “Butch” Williams
I’ll run four or five days a week and go to the gym and lift weights a couple of days a week. Just something to get the blood flow right. It’s getting harder as you get older, but I don’t miss very often. Even this morning before church, I walked six miles. I just I just need to be out breathing air and thinking and focusing.

01:06:47:25 – 01:07:00:05
Donald “Butch” Williams
I usually listen to a talk or something positive or listen to good music. Nothing too crazy on the you know, I might be the only person in the gym that’s listening to a, you know.

01:07:00:05 – 01:07:06:17
Donald “Butch” Williams
A spiritual, spiritual thought or spiritual music. Because I’m trying to get my spirit.

01:07:06:17 – 01:07:08:21
Donald “Butch” Williams
Tuned up before the world takes.

01:07:08:21 – 01:07:10:28
Donald “Butch” Williams
Over at about 8:00 because the.

01:07:10:28 – 01:07:12:06
Donald “Butch” Williams
World’s coming right.

01:07:12:06 – 01:07:12:22
Donald “Butch” Williams
Every day.

01:07:13:10 – 01:07:30:27
Donald “Butch” Williams
And so I’m just trying to tune upright, and some people don’t have to do that. Mike, my wife, is a very simple faith. I wish I could be more like her. Like her faith in her hope is just so she doesn’t need an hour to do that every day. Well, guess what I do or my ego will take over.

01:07:31:16 – 01:07:33:14
Donald “Butch” Williams
So I just have to know where you are right now.

01:07:33:16 – 01:07:34:28
Jimmy Durbin
Great awareness. Yeah.

01:07:35:16 – 01:07:55:07
Brad Singletary
I have a couple more questions for you, but one is what major error do you see men making? You’ve been around a lot of guys. You’ve been around a lot of people professionally as a leader. And you talk about as a as a bishop. I know you’ve done some things with the young people in your church. You’ve had like lots of opportunities to serve.

01:07:55:07 – 01:08:18:04
Brad Singletary
Just you’ve been a community man. I mean, you’ve been all around the place. What do you see guys messing up on what? I mean, if our average listener is a 40 year old father, let’s say younger father, you know, maybe has a couple of kids working fairly functional, but what kinds of things do you think average guys are missing out on or not doing well?

01:08:18:04 – 01:08:23:04
Brad Singletary
Not paying enough attention to mistakes they’re making see any patterns.

01:08:25:05 – 01:08:28:09
Donald “Butch” Williams
I think one is just trying to learn to listen.

01:08:29:06 – 01:08:31:09
Donald “Butch” Williams
It brings me back.

01:08:31:09 – 01:08:35:13
Donald “Butch” Williams
To the Bishop days. A couple would come in and be at each other’s throats.

01:08:35:21 – 01:08:39:07
Donald “Butch” Williams
You know, it’s his fault. It’s her fault, it’s his fault, it’s her fault.

01:08:40:00 – 01:08:44:09
Donald “Butch” Williams
And at first I thought I had answers that, well, I this is.

01:08:44:09 – 01:08:49:23
Donald “Butch” Williams
A real easy fix, you know, maybe, maybe you guys should do this. Maybe you should do that. That didn’t seem.

01:08:49:23 – 01:09:04:07
Donald “Butch” Williams
To work very well. And then it hit me one day. Just let him have it out a little bit. Just listen. Just slow down and listen. And once I did that, they would go, boom.

01:09:04:07 – 01:09:15:07
Donald “Butch” Williams
Boom, boom. And then they would look at me like I was a miracle worker. Hey, that was great. Oh, my high five. I didn’t say anything. I just listened so.

01:09:16:27 – 01:09:47:05
Donald “Butch” Williams
You know, it’s the best thing in life. Well, that’s that’s an exaggeration, but one of the wonderful things in life is maybe you are the smartest person in the room, but nobody has to know about it. You know, when you walk into a room and you’re humble and you’re listening, then people want to talk to you, then you know what the issues are, whether it be your wife or your child or somebody you’re trying to mentor, you don’t know the issues.

01:09:47:05 – 01:10:09:05
Donald “Butch” Williams
If you begin to talk to you quick, you just got to listen. And guess what? Listening takes time so that’s to me, it’s I know it sounds so simple, but it’s not simple. But if but if we and I I’m still working on this. Trust me, if we’ll work on the concept of listening, we’re probably going to go pretty far in life.

01:10:11:00 – 01:10:23:23
Brad Singletary
What keeps guys from listening and why don’t they? You’re saying it takes some time to do that and maybe patience, but what else? What other obstacles do men have keep them? Why don’t we listen very well?

01:10:23:23 – 01:10:24:20
Jimmy Durbin
Can I jump in here?

01:10:24:20 – 01:10:26:14
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah, yeah, jump in. Yeah.

01:10:27:15 – 01:10:51:06
Jimmy Durbin
Feedback. I got quite a bit in my late twenties and thirties. Jimmy, people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care because it was always about me. I always wanted to impress you. I was coming from a place of, you know, negative beliefs about myself or whatever the situation was. Or I had to prove myself.

01:10:51:06 – 01:11:17:21
Jimmy Durbin
And so I had to be the smart, you know, whatever that was. And so I wasn’t listening. I was talking about me and I just kept hearing this feedback from different people in my life at different times of, like, just shut up and lead with your heart. And I think when I first walked in that same space with you, that’s what hit me was here’s a guy who I can see his heart.

01:11:17:21 – 01:11:24:24
Jimmy Durbin
I can see the love in your eyes. I can it radiates in your face, this countenance, the glow, despite the fact that you’re bald.

01:11:25:03 – 01:11:45:02
Donald “Butch” Williams
You ready? And you see the glow there. You see, I had like five years left at the front and I lifted off and my wife’s like, word your hair go. I said, Honey, somebody took a picture of my bald head two weeks ago and showed it to me. So I just finished the job yeah. I think it’d stay in that way now, but I don’t know.

01:11:45:03 – 01:11:46:29
Donald “Butch” Williams
Looks good. It looks good.

01:11:47:26 – 01:11:49:00
Brad Singletary
Kind of like it myself.

01:11:49:00 – 01:11:52:12
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah, it’s not bad. But. No, I know.

01:11:52:12 – 01:12:16:02
Donald “Butch” Williams
It’s it. It takes time. It’s a it’s a skill. I’m still working on it sometimes. But you met. You answered your own question. You might not know that, knowing that you did, because we’re moving along, but you said two things. Time and patience to be a listener. It’s going to take some time time’s only measured in men, so we have a limited amount of it.

01:12:16:02 – 01:12:20:11
Donald “Butch” Williams
So that leads into the next thing. A 40 year old guy with three kids at home.

01:12:20:20 – 01:12:21:28
Donald “Butch” Williams
He don’t have a lot of time.

01:12:21:28 – 01:12:35:23
Donald “Butch” Williams
In his mind. He’s like, I got to go here. I got this, I got that, and impatience. And most of us are not born with that one, right? So we have to learn it over time. So time and patience.

01:12:36:09 – 01:12:57:01
Brad Singletary
I think, too, that if you believe that there is something valuable coming from the other person, I mean, to listen also requires that you respect who’s talking and you respect who’s who’s out there. Even if it’s your children, they’ll tell you important things if you just listen. I remember listening to a an audio book or, I don’t know, some influencer of some kind.

01:12:57:01 – 01:13:07:18
Brad Singletary
And he said he was talking about like your wife complaining at you or something. And he said, you want that data, that’s information you want. Don’t act like don’t shut yourself down.

01:13:07:28 – 01:13:08:16
Donald “Butch” Williams
Hear it.

01:13:09:17 – 01:13:16:01
Brad Singletary
Hear it, and then you can do something and then you can minimize it by taking action and listen. But you have to listen first.

01:13:16:08 – 01:13:43:05
Jimmy Durbin
And I think what comes with that time and patience, at least for me, was the realization that no matter who was in front of me, there is value. They have something to offer. But because of my ego and my pride and my judgment, you don’t have you don’t have anything offer. And that is that is the ego. That is my pride of of believing that and instilling that.

01:13:43:05 – 01:13:44:28
Jimmy Durbin
And so I don’t have to listen.

01:13:45:23 – 01:14:09:16
Donald “Butch” Williams
That is so good. Before I came here, I was at a different meeting, and this church leader stood up and he said, I want to show you this picture, and it’s a picture of Christ. And he’s getting ready to heal someone, but you can’t see the person he’s healing. He goes, Do you notice that kids and he’s talking to a group of kids, even this 56 year old kid.

01:14:09:16 – 01:14:43:16
Donald “Butch” Williams
And I’m like, I know where he’s going with this. He says, Christ can’t see the person when you go serve someone you never want to think that they are less than you or anyone else. In other words, you want to be on the same plane. Everybody’s got a story, and it’s usually a pretty good story. And when you take time to listen to anyone, you’re going to probably get some nuggets that are going to bless your life.

01:14:43:20 – 01:14:55:22
Donald “Butch” Williams
I mean, I’m sitting there listening to you guys today and I’m just thinking, man, I’m just learning from these guys. They think they know I’m learning. I’m sitting here learning from these guys, you know.

01:14:56:05 – 01:14:57:11
Jimmy Durbin
Which is why men need men.

01:14:57:20 – 01:14:59:01
Donald “Butch” Williams
That’s why I’m in me then.

01:14:59:11 – 01:15:17:10
Brad Singletary
That’s right. That is exactly why. So tell me something that you’re still trying to figure out about life. You know, you’re saying you’re 56, you’re still growing, still learning to be a man, but literally something that you want to still maybe begin or still round off in your life.

01:15:17:24 – 01:15:51:13
Donald “Butch” Williams
You know, I saw that question is a precursor. What am I what am I still trying to learn so this is going to sound a little generic, but but I do mean it. I’m still trying to learn more about the nature of God. I’m still trying to understand how you know, his compassion can be there for even a guy like me raised in downtown Las Vegas, maybe I’m still trying to get better at my profession.

01:15:52:06 – 01:16:15:26
Donald “Butch” Williams
I mean, I’ve thought about this concept of retiring and, you know, these types of things and just doesn’t feel right. It just feels like I can still learn and maybe be of some benefit to my clients. If. Right, if they want me to do something that maybe I can help them with it, you know? So I think it’s just this concept of ever learning ever learning whatever’s around us.

01:16:16:11 – 01:16:20:04
Donald “Butch” Williams
I don’t know what tomorrow brings. So we’ll see.

01:16:20:13 – 01:16:45:24
Brad Singletary
So what is the most alpha attribute about you? And we just I just did a podcast before this one that I’m kind of trying to define that because I hate the way the world looks at the alpha male that’s such an ugly caricature. But Alpha being the highest part of you, you know, the best, purest, most, you know, the most, the strongest brightest piece inside you.

01:16:45:24 – 01:16:54:16
Brad Singletary
What is, what is that for you? Something that you can really be proud of and own as a talent or gift. What’s special about you? What is your superpower?

01:16:55:24 – 01:16:56:18
Donald “Butch” Williams
I don’t know.

01:16:57:14 – 01:16:58:05
Donald “Butch” Williams
I saw that.

01:16:58:05 – 01:17:00:27
Donald “Butch” Williams
Question, too, and I wanted to punch that thing down the.

01:17:00:27 – 01:17:03:11
Donald “Butch” Williams
Field. You know, but then I.

01:17:03:22 – 01:17:09:21
Donald “Butch” Williams
When I painted it, I felt like our punter in high school one time, he put it and it went right off his foot into the stands, to the right.

01:17:10:05 – 01:17:13:19
Donald “Butch” Williams
And I never seen 180 degree punt before. And we.

01:17:13:19 – 01:17:16:02
Donald “Butch” Williams
Saw it. I’m not going to mention his name, Jim Capper.

01:17:16:02 – 01:17:19:08
Donald “Butch” Williams
But if you’re out there, our best punt die or saw in my life.

01:17:20:04 – 01:17:44:24
Donald “Butch” Williams
I don’t you know, this is really a tough one, right? Because it makes you talk about maybe equality. You you have figured out about yourself over the years that maybe you could pass on. Right? I mean, really isn’t that kind of the core of the question I would say just keep working at it. Whatever you’re doing, just keep working at it.

01:17:45:19 – 01:18:10:22
Donald “Butch” Williams
You know, if you’re in a tough spot right now, tomorrow’s probably going to get brighter. And if it’s not tomorrow, it’s going to be the next day if you keep working at it. Right. I remember an old, old guy named Jeff NGO Bush gave a little talk one time and the first reminder that he gave himself every day is, I am a child of God.

01:18:11:13 – 01:18:18:11
Donald “Butch” Williams
I am a child of God. My mom used to say to me, hey, Butchie, you know, I don’t like you sometimes.

01:18:18:19 – 01:18:22:21
Donald “Butch” Williams
But I do love you. There’s some days I don’t like you, but I love you.

01:18:23:08 – 01:18:44:16
Donald “Butch” Williams
And so I look at God that way. You know, there’s some days he’s not going to like the decisions I make because they’re my decisions and they’re prideful and they’re, you know, but I know he loves me. And I as I jump into scriptures every day or listen to a talker, I’m reminding you of that love. I, I, I see that love in the eyes of all those at the Las Vegas rescue mission.

01:18:45:12 – 01:18:56:16
Donald “Butch” Williams
I remember walking to church one day as a bishop. This guy was walking right to I’d always walk to church because it was a one mile walk to my church from my house. And with having six kids at home, it gave me a chance just to.

01:18:56:16 – 01:18:58:19
Donald “Butch” Williams
Clear my mind a little bit and go try to be.

01:18:58:19 – 01:19:22:15
Donald “Butch” Williams
A bishop right in. This guy is walking at me and he’s big guy. He’s burly, and he’s tattooed from head to toe, and I’ve never felt like I was a real judgmental person, but I’ve judged and I’ve judged wrongfully, you know, that guy’s walking that me. All of a sudden I went from his tattooed body into his eyes and I could just see the light of Christ in this guy.

01:19:22:27 – 01:19:45:13
Donald “Butch” Williams
And I said, That guy right there is your brother. And things changed that. How I viewed people from that day forward, I just, you know, nobody’s less than you. Nobody’s better than you. If you’re going to compare yourself with someone, if you really find it necessary to compare yourself with someone, go ahead and compare yourself to God. You’ll get yourself humble because you know, he creates worlds without end.

01:19:46:00 – 01:19:46:16
Donald “Butch” Williams
And you’re.

01:19:46:16 – 01:20:01:13
Donald “Butch” Williams
Sitting here just trying to make $10, keep a little money in your pocket to pay the bills next month. Right? Right. So I mean, just keep working, right? Do the best you can, stay humble and keep working. Things will work out. They do.

01:20:02:13 – 01:20:30:01
Brad Singletary
You just have so many stellar qualities, man. When I someone asked me before what what I thought it meant to to be an alpha. And I read this book recently called King Warrior, Magician, Lover and to me, that kind of this book is about archetypes and that we all possess these different archetypes. So that of King Now that would be like the good leader, you know, a benevolent king he’s giving to his kingdom and whatever he’s king.

01:20:30:01 – 01:20:55:07
Brad Singletary
That’s the leadership area. And then warrior is the guy who’s fighting for the good, you know, fighting for the right thing. That’s your profession. You know, maybe you’re you’re a warrior that way. You’re a warrior. We’re talking about that. The Las Vegas rescue mission, helping, helping in good causes. You’ve been involved with a lot of those things. Magician means you have specialized knowledge, not only that, you have specialized knowledge, but that you share it.

01:20:55:13 – 01:21:16:16
Brad Singletary
So unlike a street magician, this kind of magician is someone who would teach their tricks. And you’re doing that with your son in law who’s in your practice and all the young attorneys that you’ve been able to influence. And then lover lover is a guy that’s showing up with donuts at the grandkids every Friday or, you know, dancing in the stands at the the Golden Knights hockey games.

01:21:17:09 – 01:21:35:26
Brad Singletary
You you just you just a grateful person. I’ve just seen some amazing things from you and I really appreciate you being here to to to join with this man. And I and I hope that we can, you know, I don’t know, continue our friendship. I guess we haven’t been super close, but I’ve known you for probably 15 years.

01:21:35:26 – 01:21:57:20
Brad Singletary
And a guy came to me one time to work with me. And you were called as his leader. You were in that period and he said, I believe that God knows who I am because this person was, you know, he’s my pastor, he’s my bishop. And he is a person that I believe is going to help me in my life.

01:21:57:20 – 01:22:16:13
Brad Singletary
And and I remember hearing just how you two this guy was kind of like the man who influenced you way back and that you treated him that way. Maybe you had him in your home and all these kinds of things. And it’s just it’s just great to know that there are men like you around. You’ve got these great polarities.

01:22:16:13 – 01:22:54:21
Brad Singletary
So on one hand, you know, you’re running every morning. You’ve got you’ve drive, you ride a Harley, you have a black Corvette. And yet, you know, your biggest goal is to continue to learn to understand God. Like you don’t see those kinds of things in people, you know, motorcycle, motocross rider back in the day, marathoner Harley Davidson, you know, Corvette driver and highly spiritual talking about tenderness, you know, the love and people that kind of that is the most brilliant, beautiful stuff that I’ve ever seen in guys.

01:22:54:21 – 01:23:05:02
Brad Singletary
And you just you really represent that a lot. So thank you for who you are and for being willing to come and share with us a little bit here. Do they Jimmy, do you have any closing thoughts or questions or.

01:23:05:02 – 01:23:28:13
Jimmy Durbin
No, I just Butch here. I appreciate thank you for showing up in the world you know, thank you for the difference that you make. I still think you punted that that question. You know, I think your superpower, you love your love. You found a way to fall in love with yourself and it it shows up. And so thank you.

01:23:29:01 – 01:23:54:11
Donald “Butch” Williams
Man. You’re welcome. And I and I’m never going to forget the term it was worth driving out here for a lot of reasons. First you see again, Brad. But second of all, I’m never going to forget that terminology. A hard back and a soft front that that just that’s the the the new saying for this week just hard back sometimes your back’s got to be hard that world’s coming at you but you can keep your front soft.

01:23:54:16 – 01:23:55:05
Donald “Butch” Williams
I love it.

01:23:55:05 – 01:23:56:09
Jimmy Durbin
Yeah. Keep your heart open.

01:23:56:10 – 01:23:58:17
Donald “Butch” Williams
Oh, so good. So good.

01:23:58:25 – 01:24:00:21
Brad Singletary
I’m just soft everywhere I’m soft in.

01:24:02:11 – 01:24:10:21
Donald “Butch” Williams
I need to harden up a little bit like these two guys. A little myself. Great. Soft. Yeah. What’s that joke from the eighties?

01:24:11:14 – 01:24:13:24
Donald “Butch” Williams
We used to tell each other. You get Dunlap Disease?

01:24:13:24 – 01:24:24:07
Donald “Butch” Williams
Yeah. You know what’s dumb about disease? When you’re barely done, that’s over your male rash. I don’t know where they get these things. The eighties were a great time to be alive. Hey, would.

01:24:25:25 – 01:24:36:01
Brad Singletary
You guys, we just want to highlight some of the best men that we can get our hands on. And I think we’ve scored big time here tonight. This Lou Williams, I meant to ask you how to why the name Butch.

01:24:36:09 – 01:24:41:07
Donald “Butch” Williams
You know, you wonder if you’re going. That’s Alpha from day one when they start calling you. But you’re a.

01:24:41:07 – 01:24:42:21
Brad Singletary
Total stud when they do that.

01:24:43:04 – 01:24:45:12
Donald “Butch” Williams
So that is a story.

01:24:47:16 – 01:24:47:24
Donald “Butch” Williams
When.

01:24:47:24 – 01:25:05:04
Donald “Butch” Williams
I was born, my mom wanted to name me Don because she had an Uncle Don. That was just a talk about a humble guy. I remember him as a kid. He’d come into our home and he he was so humble. Adam Langley was his name. Well, I had another Uncle Don, and.

01:25:06:02 – 01:25:10:14
Donald “Butch” Williams
He was a little rougher. So my my mom my mom.

01:25:10:14 – 01:25:11:29
Donald “Butch” Williams
Wanted to name me after the.

01:25:12:20 – 01:25:15:11
Donald “Butch” Williams
More humble Don. Good. Don. Yeah, yeah.

01:25:15:29 – 01:25:21:10
Donald “Butch” Williams
And my dad said, Well, I’ll tell you how we’re going to solve this problem. I’m just going to call him Butch.

01:25:22:03 – 01:25:25:01
Donald “Butch” Williams
And that was it. I thought I had it.

01:25:25:01 – 01:25:25:26
Donald “Butch” Williams
Shaken in high.

01:25:25:26 – 01:25:27:12
Donald “Butch” Williams
School. Nope.

01:25:28:19 – 01:25:29:17
Donald “Butch” Williams
College? Nope.

01:25:30:24 – 01:25:36:03
Donald “Butch” Williams
Law school? No. Got into the professional world. A few clients call me.

01:25:36:03 – 01:25:37:06
Donald “Butch” Williams
Don, and it’s still Butch.

01:25:37:06 – 01:25:39:07
Donald “Butch” Williams
So I imagine that’s.

01:25:39:07 – 01:25:40:10
Donald “Butch” Williams
Will be on my tombstone.

01:25:40:10 – 01:25:42:03
Donald “Butch” Williams
When I get creamy.

01:25:42:03 – 01:25:46:02
Donald “Butch” Williams
Cremate it off the coast of Hawaii. I heard you can do that for 300 bucks.

01:25:46:02 – 01:25:50:06
Donald “Butch” Williams
I said, Why not? You know, I like the North Shore. Throw you.

01:25:50:06 – 01:25:51:08
Brad Singletary
In a volcano or what.

01:25:51:08 – 01:26:01:17
Donald “Butch” Williams
Do they do? It’s a Neptune society. 300 bucks. You know, they sizzle you and put you out on the ocean, man. That way, when I’m resurrected, man, I’m in one cool area. So I’ve got.

01:26:01:17 – 01:26:04:08
Donald “Butch” Williams
That in my trust right now. But my wife says I have to change it.

01:26:06:16 – 01:26:09:04
Jimmy Durbin
Tell her the new thing now is composting. So you just want to be.

01:26:09:18 – 01:26:10:00
Donald “Butch” Williams
Stuffed.

01:26:11:17 – 01:26:12:09
Brad Singletary
Into a tree.

01:26:12:09 – 01:26:13:27
Jimmy Durbin
And then spread the dirt all over.

01:26:15:14 – 01:26:20:17
Donald “Butch” Williams
Oh, that’s a little stuff going on there. Yes, it is. And it’s great to.

01:26:20:17 – 01:26:21:19
Donald “Butch” Williams
Be with you guys. Thank you.

01:26:21:19 – 01:26:22:13
Brad Singletary
Thank you, man.

01:26:22:13 – 01:26:24:02
Jimmy Durbin
Thanks for coming in, you guys.

01:26:24:08 – 01:26:27:10
Brad Singletary
Until next time, no excuses, Alpha.

01:26:29:14 – 01:26:34:16
Speaker 3
Gentlemen, you are the Alpha and this is the Alpha Quorum.

01:26:40:11 – 01:26:41:12
Donald “Butch” Williams
There it is.

 

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