EPISODE 67

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Men are faced with unique challenges and many of our failures come from operating with “boy psychology” instead of the mature and evolved “man psychology”. We often find ourselves asking “what kind of men should we be?” There are many perspectives about healthy masculinity and even more widely varying ideas of what it means to “be an alpha.” Today my 3 ALPHA guests and I begin a 6-episode series on our review of the book “King, Warrior, Magician, Lover” by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette, who describe the difference between boy psychology and man psychology and give a very effective model of healthy manhood by helping guys rediscover the archetypes of mature masculinity: the KING, the WARRIOR, the MAGICIAN, and the LOVER.

We explore the dysfunctional shadow energies of the immature masculine in ‘boy psychology.’ We talk about:

• the highchair tyrant
• the weakling prince
• the grandstander-bully
• the coward
• the know-it-all trickster
• the dummy
• the mama’s boy
• the dreamer

We discuss what it looks like when men are still operating from an immature (boy) mindset and introduce the healthy mature archetypes in their fullness.

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Brad Singletary (00:00:01):
Men are faced with unique challenges. And many of our failures come from operating with ‘boy psychology’ instead of the mature and evolved ‘man psychology’. We often find ourselves asking what kind of men should we be? There are many perspectives about healthy masculinity and even more widely varying ideas of what it means to be an ‘alpha.’ Today, my three alpha guests and I begin a six-episode series on our review of the book “King Warrior, Magician, Lover” by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette. They described the difference between boy psychology and man’s psychology and give a very effective model of healthy manhood by helping guys rediscover the archetypes of mature masculinity, the King, the Warrior, the Magician and the Lover.

Brad Singletary (00:00:58):
Welcome back to the Alpha Quorum show, Brad Singletary here. I’m super excited about what we have going on tonight for you guys. This is going to be special. I got a room full of studs here. This bunch of alphas here joining me tonight. I’m going to introduce them here in a second, but I asked them to come in here tonight because of their strengths, the things that I know about them, the things they’re doing, the adversity that they’ve gone through in their lives and how they have managed difficult things and what they’re doing to strengthen themselves and other men around them. First of all, we have Jay Jay was an elementary and middle school teacher, as well as a coach. He’s now worked in the government sector for the last 16 years, which requires him to deal with people who are in crisis. He’s a twice divorced father of two and enjoys being at the Lake and traveling.

Brad Singletary (00:02:08):
Welcome, Jay, appreciate you being here, brother. Thank you, Brad. I appreciate being here too. We also have Jim an electrician of 25 years in the Las Vegas Valley. He’s currently working as an electrical superintendent for commercial and industrial projects throughout the Valley. He’s a divorced father of two boys ages, 27 and 16 enjoys a wide range of activities year round, and has a passion for the outdoors, inspiring and mentoring those within the electrical trade gives him purpose. That’s among many of your other strengths, Jim, that’s one of the reasons I invited you here because later we’re going to talk about the magician, but that’s someone who not only has special knowledge, but who shares it with other people. So as I’ve gotten to know you, and you’ve talked about mentoring other people that’s one of the many strong things about you that I really appreciate. Thanks for being here, Jim. 

Jim (00:03:00):  Thanks for having me, Brad. Appreciate it. Definitely.

Brad Singletary (00:03:02):
We also have Clint Albright he’s working in marriage and family therapy. He works with couples trauma and men’s issues. He runs a group called dude therapy, and that’s an acronym for dudes understanding deeper emotions here in Las Vegas. He enjoys helping men understand their deeper emotional selves. And after his father passed in a plane crash, he wanted to help others learn to overcome adversity, dude, Clint you’re, we’re kind of new our relationship. We met probably what about a month ago? Just wanted to collaborate on some of the work we’re both trying to do to help men. You’ve got some pretty cool things running up on the Summerland side of town. Is that the Northwest area over there?

Clint Albright (00:03:42):
Yeah, so I do D.U.D.E. Therapy over at Maternal Minds. Just really awesome experience. Just having guys just round talking about what’s going on for them and how to just be the best versions of themselves.

Brad Singletary (00:03:54):
I’ve gotta say that the, I appreciate your, you know, your education, your work as a professional, there aren’t many male therapists period, and there are many male therapists who kind of do male $hit. So when I, when I got to hear the, some of the things you were doing, I was like this dude, this dude is a dude and he’s doing dude therapy, Dudes Understanding Deeper Emotions, man. So glad to have you with us. I have a feeling that we’re going to be talking a lot. We’re going to, this is, this is this is a little bromance.

Clint Albright (00:04:24):
Did we just become best friends? So it’s good to have you here.

New Speaker (00:04:29):
All right, we’re going to, we’re going to talk about this book King Warrior Magician Lover. This is going to be hopefully a six episode series where we really talk about just kind of outline of the book. By the time we get through with all these episodes, you could have listened to the audio book yourself. So I encourage men to read this book. I’ve read lots of things out there in the manosphere. And to me, this is just, it hit me so hard. I’ve listened to this and read this and underline it several times this year. And I picked it up a couple of years ago. It didn’t really, I didn’t really find it interesting to begin with. I wasn’t in the right place maybe. And I think I heard another podcast is what got me looking back into it. And I think it’s just one of the best things that I’ve read in a long time.

Brad Singletary (00:05:12):
And that’s why I want to really break this down and share some examples from our own lives and examples of men who are rediscovering these archetypes. So the questions that we’re going to answer today, what is boys’ psychology? What are the negative attributes of boys that sometimes carry over into manhood? What are some examples of boys parading around pretending to be men? We’re going to talk about the structure of the archetypes in this book, we’re going to overview the archetypal energies for men and talk about why awareness of this knowledge will help men be stronger and more successful. So this segment is about becoming a man and how we must leave our immature boy, thinking behind if we want to have success and respect first, I just want to talk about some definitions. So archetype that’s basically just means it’s a representation of human behavior through characters.

Brad Singletary (00:06:09):
It comes from mid 16th century, the word archetype from the Greek ARCA to pawn, but it means something molded first as a model from RK, which is primitive and to posts, which is a model. So it’s just a typical example of a certain person or a thing. And young in psychology of primitive mental image inherited from the earliest human ancestors and supposed to be present in the collective unconscious. So King warrior, magician lover, we’re going to break these down in more detail in future episodes tonight, we’re going to talk about boy psychology and kind of what it is that men need to do in general. We’ll, we’ll briefly overview these other or energies. We’re also going to talk about shadows. So the shadow are the aspects of the character that deviate or stray from the kind of the standard expectation. It’s the dark side, it’s the negative side of each of these different energies and there’s an overachieving shadow, kind of a, an active shadow type that we’ll talk about and an underachieving shadow.

Brad Singletary (00:07:18):
So our first question tonight, you guys, what is boys psychology in general? Before we start, I just want to say that a true archetype never really goes away. The idea from this book and from Carl Jung is basically that these are kind of built into us, wired into us. And so through boyhood, we’re going to I’ll post a graphic that just shows these little graphic representations of these these little triangular pyramid type shapes, but the boy archetypes never really go away. So boy psychology is the precursor for man psychology. It’s just basically how a boy thinks versus how a man thinks and what I took from this, this whole section, this whole, a chapter on that is basically the boys primarily interested in himself. And so that’s expected, you know, an eight year old boy, you think he’s basically going to be interested in himself tonight.

Brad Singletary (00:08:11):
We had a birthday party for my my, my baby, my four year old, by the way, today is Jim’s birthday. And he chose to be here with us. It’s 8:30 PM on his birthday birthday. And I said, dude, we could’ve picked another night. Why don’t we do it on different night, besides where he said, Oh, I’m not doing anything on a Wednesday night. I’m like, yeah, you don’t have to try to be tough, man. Come on just another day. Anyway. So he’s primarily interested in himself. So my four year old guy, all these Spiderman things and, and these different little gifts for his birthday and his five-year-old brother freaked out, he freaked out. Yeah, because he wanted a gift. Where’s his gift? This isn’t fair. And so that’s kind of, we expected for a five-year-old boy, when you got a 40 year old man, we would hope that he’s outgrown some of that stuff. But I think we all know guys like that, who aren’t doing that? What are your, your thoughts, you guys, on boys psychology? What is it kind of, how do you see that in? Well, I guess boys, but maybe more importantly in grown man, even

Jay (00:09:14):
I think some of it is, is they, they take resources from the environment and then a lot of times they don’t they’re self-involved and, and don’t do much to contribute themselves. They’re used to the, you know, their parents, their mom doing everything from them and they’re just exorbitant all these resources without actually contributing all the time.

Brad Singletary (00:09:34):
That’s great. I heard one time or I saw somewhere, they were asking the question was when does a boy become a man? And the answer that they gave was when he, when he produces more than he consumes, I thought that was a pretty good definition. So you’re talking about taking resources from the environment. Yeah. He’s a taker taker, not a giver. Yeah.

Jay (00:09:54):
Just, you know, and they’re always looking for external validation. So there, it’s kind of like a drug, you see it like in, in men that have evolved where they’re, they’re always looking for that external validation. They’re looking they’re fishing for those compliments because they haven’t evolved yet. I mean, that goes just in psychology in general was, you know, five-year-olds, they don’t have their prefrontal cortex developed are all based in emotion. So, you know, they’re living in a world that’s just all based on emotion. So when they see anger, they project that anger.

Brad Singletary (00:10:27):
Sure. You talked about prefrontal cortex. Brain’s not even fully developed, not able to think like a, like a grown man would, but some grown men, even when the brain parts are all there, they’re still not able to see outside themselves. And

Jay (00:10:41):
They’re just in that huge emotional reactivity and just latching onto it like a parasite. Okay, great. I think with some of the boys being cuddled by their moms, they, they struggle with attachment from their mothers. Jay was saying they’re constantly seeking attention from others, but that detachment from their mother and able to contribute, able to in way stand on their own is you know, kind of that boy psychology.

Brad Singletary (00:11:11):
What about growing men doing that? So maybe the, you know, the, my two boys, they stay home with the mom all day. They’re very attached to her. I’m working a lot, you know, they’re four and five, my youngest that’s maybe expected what if you’re a 50 year old man.

Jay (00:11:25):
Yeah. Right. And at least from what I see that that kind of leads to unhealthy toxic relationships where this man grows up and he’s with a woman and he’s dependent upon her, just like he was with his mother as a child. He’s never really cut that in biblical horror,

Brad Singletary (00:11:42):
If you will. Yeah. He’s trying to recreate that caretaking and he needs, he needs this constant nurturing and that kind of thing. And some of that would be expected in a healthy relationship, but definitely I can see that part, the boy psychology. We’ll talk about that later.

Jay (00:11:55):
You know, and, and I think when we talk about that with, we see it in, in grown men that haven’t evolved is kind of talks about it in the book a little bit about the disappearance of witch rituals that back in the day tribes had rituals that kind of led these boys to be men. You know, I worked with an individual who grew up in Africa and a tribe there. And at 16, they were led out into the forest and they had to kill a lion before they came back. And that was kinda, yeah, that was kind of their, which ritual into becoming a man. And I think in today’s society, we’ve kind of lost sight of some of that and that these these boys, they then become men haven’t ever evolved and had those experiences,

Brad Singletary (00:12:39):
Young women ha there’s a, there’s a kind of a built-in biological Rite of passage or something that happens to them that the menstrual cycle begins. And that kind of is something that signifies that. And for males, there’s just really no such thing like that. And so I do, I did really like that part of the book where it talks about the missing ritual, you know, kind of where the boy kind of symbolically dies. And then he becomes a man after conquering really himself. And he does that through some battles, some hunt, some kind of you know, some kind of a ritualistic experience. Did any of you have anything like that? Did you have in your family’s culture, you know, did people in your lives do that? I mean, my family, we were deer hunters and, and it wasn’t necessarily expected, but it was like when I killed my first deer, that was that was kind of here guts in your face. And, and nobody ever said, Oh, now you’re a man, but it was just, it was kind of a ritual innocence. You know, here’s an animal, this is going to feed our family through the winter. And I felt that felt good for me. I was probably maybe 13 or so.

Jay (00:13:45):
I wouldn’t say it wasn’t really a ritual, but it was more of going away to college. I’ll admit that I was kind of probably a, a mama’s boy growing up and moving away, you shouldn’t,

Speaker 5 (00:13:56):
You should have told me that before I invited you on the show. Yeah. It’s, it’s out there in the world now. So my brother and sister will get a baby. This is, this is everybody knows now. Yeah. And that’s why you didn’t want to say your last name now.

Jay (00:14:12):
The third child, you know, we, we, we tend to, to cuddle up to our moms. So but going away to college, you know, when you are, are young and at home and, and have all of your resources there for you going away to college really forces you to grow up and develop some of those man qualities.

Brad Singletary (00:14:31):
Anybody else, do you have any thing like that, where it was this intended, you know, crossing the bridge and demand had or anything?

Jay (00:14:37):
I mean, mine was kind of ridiculous. My dad just took me out to go get my ears pierced and stuff. And we went to a rock concert and that was like my 13th birthday. And that’s when I kind of felt like, all right, I’m kind of leaving the boys side of me and kind of more into,

Clint Albright (00:14:52):
You know, taking care of myself and dealing with my own problems and being able to understand the things I’m going to through and find support for it. He didn’t take you to Pahrump. Did it, you didn’t go out there to the sunset. I was the gallery mall.

Brad Singletary (00:15:08):
All right. Do you have anything like that?

Jim (00:15:10):
No. Real rituals. You know, mostly raised by women, grandma, mom, and sister. And it was kind of like clean up after yourself, wash your own clothes, clean up your room. I mean, I was basically guided by the women and I didn’t have a lot of, you know male involvement on a hunting or going out to rock concerts.

Clint Albright (00:15:38):
I definitely resonate that with you because shortly after my dad passed away and it was really having to navigate this world and try to find peers to look up to and find that growth that I needed. I was, it was really challenging at times. I think that’s so very common. It talks about this in the book over and over about the, you know, the under influence of the mature masculine for boys and kind of an over influence of women. And they’re just kind of doing their job, doing their role, raising the kids and doing the best they can. God bless him. But there definitely can be sometimes some missing pieces to that. So when men are stuck in a boy, psychology, they’re controlling, threatening, and hostile behaviors in reality are just underlining their vulnerability and weakness of the wounded boy that, you know, they’re, they’re displaying all these characteristics that appear to be strength when really it’s just, they’re being they’re vulnerable and they’re hiding. Yeah. They try to act like a Savage and really it’s, it’s not at all that this is a weak person who has no sense of security with themself.

Jim (00:16:42):
Like someone who can’t just, they can’t control their emotions. They haven’t learned to deal with their emotions. They haven’t learned to recognize their emotions.

Clint Albright (00:16:49):
Yeah. That’s what cliff was talking about and totally not developed that. And they’re living on emotion purely. And I think this is the hardest thing is, is boys developing the men? You know, we’re not taught how to engage with her own emotions. We’re not taught to how to self-regulate that anger, the depression, the love. And so, you know, we’re just taught like, Oh, just pick yourself up by your bootstraps, figure it out. You know? And I think that really puts us at a disadvantage to really have authentic conversations with ourselves and others about emotions and what it means to be a man, an emotional man. And you have a bone to pick with you though. You say all these nice about them in the introductions. And didn’t say anything about me. I didn’t read yours or what you read it, but then uses that. Was it? Yeah,

Speaker 5 (00:17:34):
Because your mom was feeling, Oh my God, he said, he’s gotten a quarter. He screwed, wait, can we,

Jim (00:17:44):
We pinpoint that emotion on one of these high chair, tyrants, hold on,

Speaker 5 (00:17:50):
Hold on folks. When he doesn’t get what he wants to do, that’s me. That’s me to him. That is me too. Like you talk on that topic. That that’s me. I suck when I don’t get my way. And then I will Barraige you, until you redo it. If you bought me Spiderman toys, he’d be packing. It’s way over there. I can’t get to it. It’s closer to me

Brad Singletary (00:18:17):
Too funny. So what are the immature and problematic attributes of boys? So in this model, which I’ll, again, post the visual of these aren’t necessarily all negative. Some of these things are, are positive and the boy needs to kind of aspire to those things in boy hood. But we’re going to just talk about just the, the dysfunctional shadows of those things. And a really important part of this, something in the book that I underlined in a few places it was repeated is as we talk about the shadow sides, as we go through these, these next few things here, don’t ask yourself if you display those tendencies, but how you do it because we all kind of become these things and where we’ll share maybe some examples of public figures and people that may, may look like this. But so first the high chair tyrant, all right.

Brad Singletary (00:19:07):
So this is the active shadow. This is the overachieving shadow of the divine child, which we’re not going into that part here, but this is a boy or a man who needs excessive attention. He doesn’t give anything back. He’s demanding. What people give him is never enough. He’s a whiner, entitled, arrogant. He wants yes, men around him believes that he deserves attention without any effort. So we all like attention, but this is a boy or a man who believes that he should have that attention without producing anything pouts, sulks when he doesn’t get what he wants. Jaybird

Speaker 5 (00:19:52):
That’s right. Oh, you can’t

Brad Singletary (00:19:55):
Criticism. Has unreasonable expectations, hurts himself with his grandiosity. So he wants attention. He wants to be recognized, but he ends up causing problems for himself. And he makes slaves of his caretakers. Like totally, I’m seeing this in my, in my two little boys right now. If they don’t get what they want. They cause they make a lot of noise and they’re kind of get mean, but growing men do that too. So the weakling, the weakling is the passive shadow. This is the underachieving shadow of this divine child. So this is a guy that needs to be coddled. He’s playing the victim all the time. Can’t take responsibility. Nothing’s ever his fault. Maybe a hypochondriac, always complaining and always hurt. Always has a reason, some explanation, some justification for why he can’t, he’s unmotivated, has no initiative. And he’s mad when people don’t meet his needs for him. So we talked about the high chair tyrant and on the opposite, the bipolar shadow of that is the weak link. So the tyrant demanding wants everything, his way, the weakling kind of can’t do anything. What does this look like in the world of men and by deal with it

Jim (00:21:13):
People. Yeah, my field, you know, being in construction, I deal with a lot of these people on a regular, you know, most of them have dropped out of high school. Maybe that’s the only education they have as high school. They haven’t really learned to dig into their feelings and some of their paths and, and recognize, you know, these high chair, chair, tiring, or weaklings within them things. I can’t take criticism. I got guys working with me or for me, you know, I’m just trying to, I’m just trying to help them succeed and just try and help them be better in what they do. And, you know, hopefully that goes down to the guys below them. But when you talk with them, they get very defensive and they start deflecting and you know, it’s always someone else’s fault and, and it’s, it’s hard to get through to a man boy like that because he’s not really hearing you, you know, it’s always some other problem. It’s a schedule or it’s a, another guy underneath him or something’s wrong with the plan. So,

Brad Singletary (00:22:15):
So there’s obvious disadvantages to that. Like on the job, you know, in the work world of your work, what do you think these guys are like at home and in their relationship? You think it’s any different?

Jim (00:22:24):
I have to wonder about things like that all the time, like their, their car’s a mess, you know, their, their clothes. And I just, I honestly, I feel bad for their women and their wives and children, you know, they just, I see them as going home and shutting down and not really bringing to light some of these issues. Just kind of blowing it off as if it doesn’t exist.

Brad Singletary (00:22:44):
They’re mad at you as the super on the job. And they go home and get mean with the wife and kids. Yeah. Frustrated. They got called out. Now they go home and displace all their anger, the high chair, tyrant. They become that.

Jim (00:22:55):
How, and honestly, some of these guys, I, I feel like they get hammered at, at home so hard from their wives and kids that it’s coming, it’s coming to work is actually kind of relieving. Cause when they do something well, you know, I love to give them praise and, and, and, and show them that, you know, we appreciate them. You know, that’s kind of environment I try to have, but still tough when there’s something wrong. And then you’re trying to, you know, help them understand or overcome that problem. And they start deflecting, like they’re at home with their wives or deflecting and getting defensive. And it’s tough to get through to a man like that.

Brad Singletary (00:23:31):
So I’m here at nine o’clock tonight. Just kidding, baby, for listening. Sorry.

Jim (00:23:36):
I also think, you know, you see it, we’ve all probably had those supervisors or those managers or bosses that are real arrogant and they can’t take criticism themselves.

Jay (00:23:46):
And so they, you see them, they, they surround themselves with yes, men. And so if you’re one of those that ask those tough questions, challenges their authority, they usually will snap at you or, or knock you down because you’re not a yes, man. You’re not following in line with them. They just want people that are gonna agree with them. Know some of that you’re talking about.

Jim (00:24:05):
I just had recently my boss got into me tough and there was some other people associated with it. That was the reason for the problem. But when he came to me, I said, absolutely, I’ll address it. I’ll take care of it. The fault from another guy that just, wasn’t the time to bring it up, like understand what he’s addressing to me, fix that. And then at another time, bring that up, say, well, you know, we do have some other issues we need to address as well. But right now he’s trying to focus that problem with me. And I need to address that rather than deflect into someone else. And that arrogance, you know, that’s the boss. I don’t want to be. Yeah, exactly. Take criticism from all the way down to my apprentices from my boss, the way it should be.

Brad Singletary (00:24:49):
So any examples of this movies, books popular people out there that guys might notice it, this is what a high chair tyrant looks like or a weakling

Clint Albright (00:24:58):
Weekly. And you can boil it down to every romantic comedy that’s ever been made because you know, usually the girls, the pursuer, the guy draws does something bad. He’s a hypochondriac. It’s not his fault. I’m the good guy. I’m not the Phil in here. It’s, it’s all you. And so they kind of project their own insecurities to everyone out, but not dealing with their own self.

Brad Singletary (00:25:19):
Yeah. That’s great. That’s, that’s awesome. I, I hate those images of men. We did a show, one of our early shows. We talked about the doofus dad, you know, the dumb ignorant dad. Who’s just doesn’t even know anything and just kind of weak.

Jay (00:25:34):
Well, I know, I know we’ll get into it a little bit with the King and the, in the shadows with the King, but watched a little bit of game of Thrones in Joffrey in game of Thrones is, is a really good example of a high chair. Tyrant really didn’t do anything to deserve being a leader. Didn’t demand it all the attention and was arrogant in the end. It, it was his demise.

Brad Singletary (00:25:55):
I keep hearing about that show. I hear there’s some parts of it that I might enjoy

Jay (00:26:01):
There. There’s there’s a lot of parts in it.

Brad Singletary (00:26:06):
All right. Let’s talk about know at all, trickster. So this is the active or overachieving shadow of the precocious child. Now I have to admit is educated and intelligent as I am. I didn’t know what precocious meant. So I had to look it up. Precocious means having developed certain abilities or proclivities. It sounds like a Jordan Peterson word proclivities I’m at an earlier age than usual. So this is a smart kid he’s ahead of his peers, but the know it all trickster is the shadow of that. So the know it all trickster, he gets into mischief has a sense of superiority. You’ve noticed some of these things kind of blend and overlap. I just show off always has his hand up, but not to give the right answer to prove he’s smarter, tries to charm his way out of trouble uses deception, manipulation, smart, hurry, intimidates with his words, criticizes others, mistakes he’s envious, insecure, brags about himself, destroys things. His focus is on appearances and he has problems with authority. So no, it all trickster. What about the dummy? This is, this is the underachieving or passive side of the precocious child. This is someone who’s just naive. They have no vigor, a little bit lazy, slow, and an interesting part in the book. It talks about their ineptitude is less than honest, meaning they pretend to know less than they actually do. And they’re just kind of playing dumb so they can avoid responsibility. They avoid risks and that kind of thing.

Jay (00:27:45):
But I also think interesting with that is that they play dumb, but are early taking notice of stuff and kind of throw in and we’ll evolve and jump over to the trickster at times, too. And that we play where you see that, that aloofness in them as that they’re not paying attention and they, they do it on the down-low.

Brad Singletary (00:28:08):
That’s a great point about all of these shadow sides that we kind of alternate. If we’re living in the, in the weakling and we just do that long enough, we become the high chair tyrant when we’re fed up or whatever, and, and vice versa. You kind of alternate between these bipolar shadows. So good thought there, Jay. All right. You guys it’s about to get serious. Now we’re about to talk about your mama in, in preparation for this, I was thinking I haven’t heard a good your mama joke lately. You might have, you might have a good one. You share good. Yeah.

Jay (00:28:38):
Mama joke. Brad, yo mama is so fat or belly button gets home 15 minutes before she does.

Speaker 5 (00:28:48):
That’s a long belly button. That’s that? One’s deep. Got some wind things in another zip code.

Brad Singletary (00:28:59):
No, this is serious subject. I thought we would break the tension a little bit before we talk about moms and how that they’ve created problems in us here, but any other cool, your mama jokes, anybody.

Clint Albright (00:29:09):
Yo, mama’s so dumb. When you all were driving to Disney land, she saw a sign that said Disney left. So he went home.

Brad Singletary (00:29:22):
So this is, this is very serious. And when I’m working with men, I don’t know Clint, if you can echo this too, but when I’m working with men, a lot of it has to do with their relationships. Most guys aren’t coming to say, you know, I’m depressed and whatever the core of so much of their problems are their relationships. And this next one talks about the boy psychology of, of love. Really? So the mama’s boy, this is one of the arch, one of the archetypal energies here. This is the overachieving shadow of the Oedipal child. Now Oedipus that whole story. That’s a little crazy hazy. So Freud was the early psychologist who talked about the Oedipus complex, basically where it comes from Greek mythology, where right, the boy killed his father, ended up marrying his mother. And this is basically play the dynamic where the boy’s too closely tied to his mother and then gets hurt because of that, man, this is, this could create some tension because there’s a lot of men in the world raised by their moms.

Brad Singletary (00:30:23):
And that seems like a normal, healthy thing until we really start to explore what happens in their relationships after, you know, as they become men. So one of the common things here is that there again, two connected to mom, they’re over identifying. All of the immature masculine energies are tied in one way or another to mom. And then they are deficient in experiences with a nurturing and mature man. This is one of the reasons we encourage men to get connected with other men. The womanizer needs men, not women. And so as we talk about this, remember, we’re thinking not if we do these things, but how this shows up in our lives. So to connect to the mom never wants to offend or hurt her, not to worry mom in any way lives to please her acquiesces to mom’s wishes. Always the Don Juan syndrome is a womanizer, kind of obsessed with seducing women. In our day. There’s an excessive use of porn jumping from relationship to relationship. You know, can’t be tied down or satisfied by one woman. What is really looking for is the perfect union with a woman without doing the work. That’s a common theme with in boys, psychology. They want to all the stuff, one of the glory, they’re ambitious. They’re trying to do that. You get things and have good things, but they want to do it without the work. They want to do it without responsibility. It’s all kind of self-seeking. But this guy is caught up in fantasies that are never fulfilled and never satisfied. And a thought from another book that I highly recommend no more. Mr. Nice guy. He talks about nice guys, end up ruining their relationships with women because they unconsciously sabotage it.

Brad Singletary (00:32:08):
So that, and this is a key phrase and it’ll, it’ll make a shiver a little bit. They unconsciously sabotage it so that they can be monogamous to their mother. She’s the only one woman he wants. And it’s not necessarily sexually, of course, and it’s not her herself, but she represents an archetype of the goddess, this infinite love. And so he’s looking for this deep, amazing spiritual union, this constant orgasmic ecstasy state, and he’s hung up because he’s overly connected with mom. So that’s a hard one too. It’s hard. It’s a hard one to introduce, you know, so the guy out there running around with women, he’s just got sleazy things going on in his life. Can’t find a satisfying relationship. What, how do you see this stuff? You guys coming from attachment to mom, for me

Clint Albright (00:33:03):
Personally, being kind of vulnerable here after my dad died, I was having to take care of my mom and I can see how some of these things, some of these aspects still kind of play a role in even my life today, you know, love my mom care for deeply, but you know, I know I’m still kind of too connected. I know it’s had contention on, on relationships in my past. So it’s, it was really interesting reading this and seeing how just the, even just the small fused connection with mom can have reverberating facts down the road.

Brad Singletary (00:33:35):
This is all created accidentally. I don’t wanna, I don’t want to say that, you know, you’re taking care of your mom here, it’s order, maybe the man of the house at that point. And you had to do some of those things and that none of that is pathological on purpose. It just, it, it accidentally creates dynamics that caused trouble later. Now the thoughts on that, the mom’s boy being overly connected.

Jay (00:33:58):
I see it when we talk about not wanting to offend or hurt mom or, or make her worry that then that evolves into your relationships with the, with females, you know, that you get into a relationship and you fall into that. Mr. Nice guy all the time, instead of having an opinion and sometimes, you know, on Friday nights have a plan when she asked, what do you want to do tonight? Instead of saying, I don’t care, what do you want to do? Like, Hey, this is what we’re doing. And that we’re so afraid of offending them, that it kind of, I can see it in my own relationships that it results back to when I always wanted to just please my mom. Yeah.

Clint Albright (00:34:35):
I, I mean, I see that dynamic quite a bit and, and, you know, couples therapy, even individuals therapy where, you know, women will be the pursuer. The man will be the withdrawer because they’re so afraid to hurt or scared, you know? And it just comes from just such an intense place of vulnerability.

Brad Singletary (00:34:52):
This is powerful stuff, man. This is, these are deep, deep things that I think most men can recognize. Again, we’re not talking about if this is going on with you, but in what ways, the other side of this, the passive shadow here on the, this is the love axis. The passive side is the dreamer. And it’s interesting because I, I would probably have described myself in the past as a dreamer. But when I read this definition, so this is the underachieving shadow of the Oedipal child. This person is aloof. They’d rather be alone in their head to often kind of have their head in the clouds. Their relationships are with intangible things. Their relationships are with ideas and dreams and fantasies and, and really not grounded in reality. Or they’re not connected, no social skills. I hear this from guys all the time, you know, Oh, I’m socially awkward and I don’t want to be around people. I think this is a quote directly from the book. It says his depression is tied to the grandiosity in seeking to possess the mother. He finds it hard to do things because he’s too busy, dreaming and fantasizing of things he doesn’t want to work for to have. So the dreamer is a passive, you know, underachieving boy immature version of the lover. What does that look like? The dreamer, when I,

Jay (00:36:16):
I hear what you’re saying, it, it reminds me kind of something that’s come to light recently is it’s, it’s in cell violent extremists and that they classify them as in voluntarily celibate. And they, they view women as the enemy. And we’ve seen Canada just recently had an, an event where that was someone who had committed some violence. And it’s something new that we’re seeing that these people they, I think they would fall into this dreamer category. Yeah. It’s called incell violent extremists. And so basically they it’s basically your loser and your loners that haven’t had any relationships with females. They can’t get laid pretty much. And they’re, they classify themselves as in voluntarily celebrate. It’s not by choice. It’s just that women are the enemy now.

Brad Singletary (00:37:12):
Oh, I that’s the that’s where I got hung up with the involuntary part. So yeah, in the, in the, on the mature side of this, this is parallel with the impotent lover. Yeah. So the guy who can’t, he doesn’t know what to do, how to do, can’t make the connection, doesn’t know how to read the vibes and, you know take care of business, whether we’re talking sexually or in the relationship dynamics itself. So, wow. Okay. comedic note reminds me of step-brothers or seminary, welfare just aloof, just goofy living in their own dream in the dinosaur. No idea, kind of what’s going on in that, in the, in the realm with women or whatever, maybe it’s great. All right. So the next axis here is the grand standard bully, which is the active overachieving shadow of the hero grand standard bully.

Brad Singletary (00:38:09):
Man. I have images that come directly to mind on this. So this is a person that demands respect. They try to impress people. They get revenge when people don’t honor them arrogant kind of inflated sense of their own self-importance they take unnecessary risks. So they want to look heroic. But it’s all grandstanding. They’re all just trying to look cool. Maybe this is where road rage comes from. The people they’re superior that lash out when people don’t cater to their needs. Really, this is an insecure coward who hides his insecurities and he lacks the confidence to incorporate feminine energy. I really, this was fascinating to me. He lacks the confidence to incorporate feminine energy. And let me just say, each of you have some of those things, okay. You’re you’re men and you, you do man, but you have some sensitivities, you have some emotional intelligence.

Brad Singletary (00:39:08):
And what you lack in that, I know that you’re actively working on those things and you want to do that. And that’s, maybe we’re talking about incorporating the feminine energy. So this grand standard bully, he’s talking about sissy stuff, he’s talking about, that’s for girls, he’s talking about, you know, he rejects any of the feminine, especially in himself. It’s just fascinating to me lacks the confidence to incorporate feminine energy. So a lot of our listeners, you know, they, these are sort of anti-feminist and whatever, and they there’s. So many of these guys kind of have some issues with women in general, or feel that they’re superior, but what do you think of that lacks the confidence to incorporate feminine energy?

Clint Albright (00:39:50):
I mean, it kind of reminds me of just going back to, was it you know, the issues with mamas boy, not being able to value that, that part, the emotional part, you know, watching a good movie and being able to cry to it. Right. Like toy story

Brad Singletary (00:40:05):
Serious. Yeah. They’re hiding from it, their own emotion. Yeah.

Clint Albright (00:40:08):
And just see it as just pure weakness. Right.

Jim (00:40:11):
That for me took a while to, to understand when my father passed away, it took me a long time to actually grieve and, and shed tears for that. Like, you know, he taught me to tough it out and pick yourself up and, you know, just spit on it and keep going, you know, just, I had a lot of that for, for a long time. It wasn’t really, until the last 10, 15 years I cried at, you know, dog movie or grieved for him cat.

Brad Singletary (00:40:39):
So on on YouTube, I’ve tried those. So

Jim (00:40:44):
It’s tough. And like today’s society the way, you know, some old school men teach up and coming children, you know, they’re not really a good role model to have that feminine side in them, you know, to understand that it’s okay to have that in you and still be masculine.

Brad Singletary (00:41:00):
My, so my two little boys I’ve talked about a lot tonight. They’re, you know, I catch myself sometimes saying like, don’t cry and whatever, and then I correct it. And my, my, my words now my, my little phrase there is just it’s okay to cry, but use your words to, I want them to cry, but tell me what’s going on. Tell me what you’re feeling. It was named this. Are you frustrated? You know, is this, are you angry about something? Another thought you were talking about being afraid to cry? I can’t tell you how many men I’ve worked with. Who’ve walked away from jobs. Relationships they’ve walked away from things because they were afraid to cry. They would lie in a situation. It would lie. Why do they lie? Because they know if they told the truth, they might cry. That’s what they’re really afraid of and not afraid to get in their balls. Busted. They’re afraid of showing emotion. Anyway. One of the biggest problems with men out there, I think,

Jay (00:41:46):
Yeah. I, I think they, when they show that, that feminine side or they cry, they see it as a sign of weakness and they don’t want to portray that to, to anybody else. And so, I mean, like you’re talking about, it took you a long time to realize that it was okay to do that. I guess I, I feel fortunate. I grew up in a household where I had a dad who, you know, he was a leader and a coach and had that warrior mindset. But at the same time at home, he would cry during a movie. And he was okay with that. Yeah.

Brad Singletary (00:42:16):
It’s my favorite thing to do, actually. That’s all that surprised me. It’s how evolved I am.

Clint Albright (00:42:22):
I knew he had it out. I knew it. You feel the emotion, you get it out. And you’re able to kind of reset yourself and move on. You’re, you’re kind of releasing that stored up, pent up, just gunk. That’s just sitting in your brain and your body. And you know, like, like you said, I I’m grateful that I had a dad to also be able to show me that, Hey, it’s okay to cry. You know, when, when I can remember being seven years old and camping and got a huge stick stuck in my leg, I fell. And he was like, it’s all right. You know, cry. We’re going to go take it out. It was very supportive the whole way. And did it made me feel like I was anything less than like, he viewed me as his son. I viewed him as my dad and he’s there to take care of me. Wow.

Brad Singletary (00:43:06):
That’s man. That’s it gives me goosebumps. That’s exactly how it ought to be. I think so the grand standard bully, only people like that. Any pictures come to mind? Any, I mean, I guess I’ll say it. I, I, I think that a recent four years in the American landscape of politics showed us maybe a grand standard bully. And this is not in anything about political it’s about personality. You know, I don’t care what he’s policies are. That dude was a grand standard bully and demanded respect, tried to impress people would get upset, frustrated, talk down to people and things like that. Maybe there were, there are plenty of good things there. It’s not about his political record, but just as a man, if he, when he was on the show felt the same way the TV show that he was on.

Jay (00:44:00):
Yeah. I don’t think it has anything to do with your political affiliation at all, but it was blatantly obvious that he would lash out at people who didn’t cater to him, you know, through his Twitter or through press conferences, he would mock people and like his policies or not. I mean, it’s hard to shy away from that.

Brad Singletary (00:44:20):
Remember, we’re swaying, not if we demonstrate these things, but how we do it. So that, that goes for other men too. All right. Let’s talk about the coward. This is the passive shadow, the hero. This is a guy that avoids confrontation can’t stand up for himself. Whether verbally, psychologically, physically, he believes it’s bigger. You know, he’s a bigger man for walking away from something, even when it should, when he should fight, maybe he hates that he’s a coward, a little bit of a pushover doormat can’t make decisions for himself. Doesn’t really want to wear the pants in a relationship. Thoughts on the couch.

Jim (00:44:59):
That’s the guy who was eventually just gonna erupt like the volcano, you know, he’s holding all this stuff and he’s avoiding it. He’s not confronting it. And just one day just gets pent up and it explodes. And it’s not good either that way, because you can ruin a relationship really quick. And that one, that one moment, because you haven’t been, you know, addressing your passive issues for however long.

Brad Singletary (00:45:26):
Yeah. So you’re passive, passive, passive, just swallow it, bury it, sweep it under the rug. And then eventually that turns into aggression, evil, awful, kind of unhealthy aggression, the coward. So what are some examples of boys pretending to be men? So these are men walking around acting like boys. What do you see? How do you see, we’re talking about boys psychology and the difference. A lot of grown men out there that look grown, they’ve got muscles, they got a truck. They, you know, they’re doing man things, but they are behaving out of boy psychology. Some examples of that,

Jim (00:46:01):
Seeing that all over the place. Yep. Guys who bragging to others, what they have or what they know. They think they’re far superior than people. They work with their friends. You know, they believe that their worth is, is more valuable than others. It just, they can’t show humility. They can’t stay humble. You know, just, I’m better than you.

Brad Singletary (00:46:24):
You know, it’s a funny thing to me to see. And I’ve probably been a part of this before, but like walking past a dude in a store who like looks at you too on your, like what, you know, what’s up, you know, you want to F like, you want to fight, like you were in the mall, I’m just walking past, you know, or, or somebody sees you checking out their girlfriend or their, you know, and they become enraged because you just looked over and glanced. And somehow they feel threatened by that.

Jim (00:46:49):
Don’t, don’t have a bunch of tattoos and I’m staring at you and you’re going to get mad at me. You know? Like, I’m just checking out, bro. You want to go outside? You got a nice car, you got cool tattoos. I just want to check it out. Just checking you out. Your girl looks good. I’m just checking it out.

Clint Albright (00:47:01):
And I would see this all back when I was working at the day pools down on the strip, you would see this, this arrogance all the time, like, Oh, my self worth is tied to how many zeros I have on my bank account, not to how I treat people. And I remember this one guy gave me five grand and he’s like, go get some girls for me. And I’m like, that’s kind of not my character. I will give it to the guy who can do that. But you just see that, that sense of hubris. So you’re a pimp. Yeah. You’re

Brad Singletary (00:47:30):
Literally,

Brad Singletary (00:47:32):
We got pimp pimp, Clint, Clint, the pimp. Sorry, go ahead. Hubris. I saw that word a few times a book. I don’t even know what it means. Talk to me. It’s just,

Clint Albright (00:47:42):
It kind of goes in grandiosity. Just this kind of inflated sense of self that they’re bigger and better than everything, you know, you see, I kind of definitely a down, if you worked anywhere on the strip, people come in with this phony persona of who they are. And I would see that all the time, especially working in the clubs and day clubs of just men who were the at Hardy shirts and the true religion jeans and just being totally not themselves. So yeah, they’re wearing a costume almost.

Brad Singletary (00:48:14):
Yeah. The pride and round in a hero know, hiding their vulnerabilities. Yeah. I made this look like a bad, even though I’m not, I’m totally not lots of insecurity. Let me show, let me put on the uniform of a bad-ass what I think is that yeah, totally fraudulent, right? Yeah. I think real men see through that real women see, through that 10 years later,

Jim (00:48:39):
10 years later, personal experience, I also,

Jay (00:48:45):
They get it is the, you know, the men that are walking around, always with a victim mentality, you know, they’re, they’re the ones that, Oh, the girlfriend broke up with them or they can’t get a girlfriend because they’re snobs. Or they stopped going to the gym because their workout partner moved away. It’s like, they don’t take any responsibility. They’re always the victim for it.

Brad Singletary (00:49:04):
It’s the stupid governor, you know, it’s the, it’s, it’s Corona. It’s everything is some external factor, right?

Clint Albright (00:49:12):
Yeah. They’re just, they’re unable to take responsibility for any of their own actions.

Brad Singletary (00:49:17):
So the structure of the, these archetypal energies basically picture a triangle. The top of the triangle, the peak is the archetype in its fullness. This is a really awesome, integrated and consciously expressed version of that thing. So we’ll post a graphic on that in the bottom half as a shadow. So each corner of the triangle is the positive and the negative side of the shadow. It’s very effective. I don’t know I’m I like shapes. I like you know, imagery that, to teach me things through a framework like that, we’re going to quickly overview the archetypal energies for men really fast. Something interesting about this. We’re going to do a whole episode on each one of these. It’s interesting to know that none of these things can be done alone. Even Kings had advisors, they had a tribe, the Kings court, it was often called as a describe their council, their household, the King’s court traveled with the King and wherever he went, he would seek advice from the wise men of his court, which would include, you know, relatives, barons, Lords, leaders of churches, you know, bishops and so forth.

Brad Singletary (00:50:24):
Warriors are obviously not alone. While you can fight a battle on your own, you’re a better, stronger warrior. If you’re not doing it alone, magicians in order to be a true magician, you basically are having to teach that to others. And the lover. You can’t, you can’t really love if you’re trying to do it alone. I guess some people do a little, do a little loving alone, but to live these things in the fullness, you can’t do any of these things alone. So we need men. We need people gotta get connected. All right. Quick description of the King King is a leader. This one’s about leadership. Let’s go. You guys just throw in some things here for me. What does the King do? Was he like,

Jim (00:51:01):
He’s honorable, honorable.

Brad Singletary (00:51:03):
He’s the benevolent King. You know, he’s a giver. He’s not a dictator is guided by core values. Yeah. He’s got some values. He’s got some integrity.

Clint Albright (00:51:12):
He’s able to see many perspectives that help guide them knowing to the empowerment of self-regulation.

Speaker 7 (00:51:17):
Yeah. Wow.

Brad Singletary (00:51:19):
That was deep. Deep. Do it again.

Clint Albright (00:51:22):
He’s able to see many perspectives and help guide the unknowing, like the people to empowerment and self-regulation

Brad Singletary (00:51:28):
Tons of cool stuff there. He’s got vision. He empowers people so that they can self-regulate. That’s pretty cool. One thing I, I heard in an audio or something outside of this, but related about King energy is that he has compassion. If he doesn’t have compassion, he’s a tyrant. You can be a good leader. You can make things happen. You can get done. But if you don’t have compassion, if you’re, if you’re not a lover also, you’re not a good King. How about the warrior? What’s a warrior like? Well, he fights, Oh yeah,

Brad Singletary (00:52:02):
He fights. But he doesn’t just fight for himself. You know, he’s not out for himself. He’s a little bit detached maybe from his feelings. So he can be tough. He’s tough. But he’s usually fighting for a cause he’s fighting for other people. He’s fighting for something sacred. Maybe he’s fighting for, to protect others. You know, he’s fighting for a lot of integrity. Yeah. He’s got integrity.

Clint Albright (00:52:24):
I think it going on with that, it with integrity is just he’s with his morals and values. Like if you think of a samurai, you know, he he’s going to go out and he knows who he needs to attack, but he’s not going to attack the children or, or the women know he has a moral compass that kind of keeps him engaged so that he doesn’t go too far off left or too far off. Right.

Brad Singletary (00:52:43):
Yeah. Very disciplined. He’s fighting with the purpose.

Clint Albright (00:52:48):
Decisive will skillful.

Brad Singletary (00:52:49):
You mentioned earlier that talking about being led by emotion, he’s not dragged around by his own emotions. He really keeps that stuff in check. Yeah.

Clint Albright (00:52:57):
Yeah. He doesn’t think too much. That’s one of the things I wrote in the book is he only thinks as you know, on the battlefield, but he doesn’t get too wrapped up into his own emotional thoughts. Like he’s he recognizes them that they’re there, but he doesn’t go on the over intensifying thoughts. Like he’s not making it personal. Yeah.

Jim (00:53:16):
Not almost business. Like, yeah.

Brad Singletary (00:53:19):
I like too, that it talks about, he knows his limitations and he considers his mortality. That’s something really cool out there. And some of the stoic stuff about memento, Mori, remember you could die. And that’s some of the warrior, does he consider that? So he trains, he trains for it. He’s in good shape. He knows how to use tools and weapons. And those in our day may not be guns and cannons. They may be electronic means. He knows how to read. He knows how to find tools and get help, get his little army together. And then the magician has special knowledge. The magician is he’s, he’s good at technical things. He’s good at science. He’s good at math. He understands the stars and he just got special knowledge, I think is the best way to put that it can be any form, any career or any type of learning, but he also takes people under his wing. He has apprentices. He has people that he guides he’s the, the ritual elder. I love that term in the, in the book there he’s the ritual elder. He puts somebody else in position to do the things that he can do and learn what he learned, what he’s learned. Yeah. He has a passion for teaching. Sure.

Clint Albright (00:54:30):
Well, one thing I thought was cool out of the book is he’s able to kind of challenge the King’s arrogance. And he’s kind of like the detector. He’s, he’s wise his awareness and insight, but also has an understanding of the unknown and the unconscious of the underlying deeper energies that are at play. So he’s able to give perspective, he’s able to understand the complexity of how madness the world is, but he’s able to find that balance and teach others to kind of regulate their own energies.

Brad Singletary (00:55:00):
Love it. A lot of spirituality stuff that seemed to go along with the magician too, you know, he’s just connected to, I don’t know, planets and all kinds of cool things like that. How about the lover? Quick description of the level

Jim (00:55:13):
Is empathy, empathetic, caring, compassionate.

Brad Singletary (00:55:18):
I love it. Talking about libido and libido. We normally think of as just sex drive, but really that’s life, energy, passion for life. You know, he loves music, good cigars. He he’s, he sees the colors of the world. You know, he’s running around. I don’t know, looking at the world like an artist, like a photographer, enjoys a sunrise. Yeah. He he’s, he’s seeing beauty and he loves not just people, not just a lover of women, but he can, you know, he knows what he’s doing over there too, but maybe he can dance. Maybe he can be silly. Maybe he can have fun.

Clint Albright (00:55:53):
Kind of reminds me of like, kind of letting your childlike self come out and play. You know, it’s, it’s this very raw, honest part of you that like you said, as empathetic to the world around him, he understands the colors. He understands how people feel and how to either prop them up or calm them down. So intuitive. Yeah. He, he seems to be in tune and he just didn’t enjoy all of life’s pleasures.

Brad Singletary (00:56:19):
So you guys, we’re gonna wrap this one up, just let’s talk about how awareness these things can help men be strong. And that’s our whole purpose here is to lift guys up and, you know, give them tools and things point them in the right direction. And this book is one awesome resource that I’ve found. It’s really kind of, kind of lit me up. Most of my clients are probably sick of hearing me talk about this. The men that I work with, I’ve even shared this with women who were trying to understand their, their men and like, Oh, he’s, he’s in the weakling energy. You know, he’s, he’s, he’s being the sadist or he’s doing the, you know, he’s doing the high chair tyrant thing right now. And it just gives some language. It’s a little framework. It’s a nice visual framework for understanding where dudes are coming from and where they need to, what they need to do. And instead, give us a quick little, little summary, I guess you guys of how this can help dudes be better.

Jim (00:57:11):
Yeah. I feel like it helped me recognize and identify my past traumas and then start to live in the present moment and reacting beneficially to myself and others around me. You know, it’s helping me recognize my emotions out to act on them accordingly and turn a negative situation into a positive situation rather than, you know, so I’m just not, I’m living in the present. I’m not focusing on that, that, that negativity I’m recognize my emotions. And I’m just trying to address them in a positive manner. It’s okay to cry, Jim, we’re here for you, bro. Thanks brother. Appreciate you,

Brad Singletary (00:57:49):
Jay. Clint, why is this, why could this be helpful for men? Well, it kind of like

Jay (00:57:53):
What Jim’s talking about is just being fully aware of those. I know sometimes knowing my own life and ask why he acting like a child. Sometimes we don’t understand it. So know knowing all of these different archetypes in the shadows, as you can kind of understand in your own behavior, why you’re acting that way and then get yourself corrected. And then also just, you know, when you see others acting in those ways, understanding what motivation that comes from.

Jim (00:58:21):
Awesome.

Clint Albright (00:58:23):
You know, what I got out of it was just, you know, it’s, it’s understanding the deeper part of our souls. You know, it’s scary, it’s dreadful, like seeing that rawness that we don’t want to touch that emotional hot plate, you know, for us men to be really authentic to ourselves can really elicit our own insecurities and negative thoughts, judgments, however, just even acknowledging or validating our own struggles with the various art, these archetypes, you know, we can use these as a tool for growth. We can kind of visualize like when you see the triangles to see where, where are we sitting on the pendulum? Am I the tyrant or, or what can I do to maybe loosen that up a little bit and be a little bit more present? Like you were saying,

Jim (00:59:04):
I think too, Brad, with, with recognizing these archetypes within ourselves, then it helps us to give to the other men around us. And for me, I think that’s the most beneficial part is I can start recognizing another men, not that I’m skilled or trained or professional on it, but I do recognize it and you know, I can help

Jim (00:59:22):
Calm them down or bring them to the present moment or stop having them worry about the future and, you know, creating a lot of anxiety and stress for themselves.

Brad Singletary (00:59:30):
Dude, how many men do you supervise or are you in contact with, on a regular basis or have some leads?

Jim (00:59:36):
I mean, at the given moment, it’s about 50, but it can range from 20 to the most has been about 200.

Brad Singletary (00:59:44):
So Jay you’ve done leadership things as well. You got men around you. What I want to say is just that you guys, who aren’t professionals probably have more influence in the world of men than even Clinton. I mean, I have a see 40 or 50 people a week. It would say half. Those are guys, you know, have those are men maybe 10 or young men. And so I have the ability to influence, you know, 30 men a week. You talking about 200, you talking about 50 to 200 people, you got people all around, you are looking at you and watching you. There’s also young men in your life, young adult men or teenage boys. Yeah, I, I love what you’re saying, Jim. This is not only for our own awareness, but part of our growth is helping others along the same path. We’re gonna wrap this one up. You guys, thank you for being here. This is part one of a six part series. We appreciate you being with us and as always, no excuses, Alpha Up.