My brothers, be courageous
“Pouting is the total antithesis of masculinity.”
My brothers, be courageous
OK brothers, listen up: it’s PRO TIP time!
If there is one thing I’ve heard consistently over the years from the women I see in my office it’s that they’re frustrated and disappointed at the lack of accountability their husbands and boyfriends are taking for their words and behaviors and their defiance and negligence at saying “I’m sorry.”
And as much as my ego is resistant to hear this, I know that this is an accurate call out that applies to me as well.
Brothers, our tough guy projection, lack of awareness, unwillingness to acceptance our flaws and character issues is not serving us.
Vulnerability is not weakness, it is strength: it’s a core tenet of masculinity. Taking accountability and apologizing is one of the most generous and noble things we do as humans and the women in our lives are craving it from us!
We would do well to realize they see right through our gas lighting (look this up) and our half hearted or complete lack of taking accountability for our crap!
So to that i might offer these suggestions to man up when you mess up:
- If you screw something up, own it.
- If you’re rude or a jerk, own it. Soften up and set it right.
- If you let your temper get out of control, cool your self down and reengage when you’re level headed and ask for forgiveness.
And for heavens sake my dudes, and this is almost the worst of all these, don’t pout when it comes time to deal with the consequences of your bad behavior: even and including her unkind response back to you, or when she pulls away a bit in the intimacy department.
Trust me when I tell you that pouting is the total antithesis of masculinity, and probably one of the least attractive things a man can do in front of his partner. I can’t count the number of women who tell me this is one of their biggest turn offs towards their husbands.
And here’s where it’s just completely baffling, that for some reason we think that if we pout at her, turn away in a huff, sighing heavy and act like a child who’s toy’s been taken away all this will somehow get us what we want in any room, especially the bedroom.
Man, could anything be further from reality.
Let me finish this up with a final thought on the word courage.
The commonly accepted definition is bravery but the meaning of it’s Latin root cor is heart, or to take heart. So to have courage is to tell who you are are with your whole heart.
So to be courageous literally means to be vulnerable.
My brothers, be courageous.
Jeremy Leavitt is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. He has a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy. He has been married 15 years and has 2 sons ages 13 and 8. He also has a 2nd degree black belt in Taekwondo so watch out. He loves dogs, hates egg salad and dreams of one day finally defeating Chuck Norris.