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Hear the story of a man who went from being unemployed and living like a hoarder to an IT professional who became a leader of himself, his family, and his home.

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Brad describes some of his own lessons and how men need to have an opinion and use their voices. 

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We live in a time where traditional masculinity is under assault. What was once considered normal and honorable is being called toxic. Our young boys are treated as predators in waiting. Is it any wonder that there is a crisis of masculinity in western civilization?!

ALPHA SHOT: One-minute Sample

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What is the definition of “boundaries”?

What kinds of problems are created with un-defined, un specified, lack of clearly defined boundaries?

Undiscussed boundaries lead to resentment, disappointment, anger, frustration, sketchy behaviors, then excuses.

What happens when boundaries are overly rigid?

Isolated, boring life, stifling creativity and spontaneity, suffocation

What does it look like when you have healthy boundaries:

Negotiated between the parties, third party approval, free and safe to explore who they are / what they want to become, safety and security, permission to explore life, shared control.

Why men lack assertiveness in boundary setting? Fear, laziness, people pleasing

Effective ways to set boundaries? What are the words to use?

Pro TIPS:

“I” statements: discuss what you are willing to do, NOT what the other MUST do.

Don’t duck out. Don’t quit. If you need to take a break, do so, but don’t walk out entirely and not come back to it. Believe that at the end, there will be a solution, make it so.

Be as emotional as is warranted, and be free with those emotions

Put them in writing if you feel you can’t communicate them verbally

Learn how to argue and negotiate, be gracious in your ‘defeat’

Accept that conflict is going to happen and be mature enough to endure it

“What do you expect the boundary to look like”

Define the boundary title. What is it you are trying to decide?

Examples of when a boundary is crossed?

Finances

“Dates” or involvement with other people

Lying

Substance use

What is a HEALTHY way to deal with a crossed boundary

Relationships are continually re-negotiated based on new information or new situations as they come up, be mature and wise enough to see where you may have been wrong-humble and teachable

Communicate

Move out, sleep in a different bed, do what you gotta do.

Communicate effectively, right time and right space, that the boundary has been crossed.

Schedule it.

Allow your partner to prepare

Let them know that there has been a boundary crossed and it’s important to discuss.

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THE ALPHA QUORUM SHOW

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He recounts a moment in a recent meeting where he was called out by Brad who used some uncharacteristic language to confront Derik with a challenge to become better. Brad’s comments are seconded my Taco Mike, Thunt, and Mike Olsen.

This short episode represents a year of podcasting for the Alpha Quorum. Get ready, dudes. We’ve only just begun.

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THE ALPHA QUORUM SHOW

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FULL TRANSCRIPT